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Pregnant when told I never would be. (Paula)

June 20, 2012

my names Paula and im from essex in the untied kingdom, I am 16 weeks pregnant and my daughter is 26 weeks old, my starting weight was eight stone 3 lbs and in my first pregnancy i gained three stone, through a mixture of things.

I had My daughter by c-section due to having severe and i do mean severe SPD, it ruined my pregnancy, i coudlnt work i couldnt exercise i couldnt even stay the house on my own due to either passing out from gestational diabetes which i didnt know i had and exhaustion from all the painkillers i was being given to help me last as long as i could for my daughter.

I was proud of my figure pre pregnancy i had always been a good size six, (i say good because i was never skeletal i just have a small frame) and had big enough boobs that i never felt out of place in bikinis. Id spent my life being told i would never have children the natural way and had resigned myself to that fact so i liked what i saw in the mirror and that was fine with me.

then I found my partner again after ten years and just five months in to our new relationship we found that i was pregnant… I have never been so shocked as i was that day. however that day was the day i said goodbye to ym wardrobe and my collection of over 100+ shoes (not good) i started only eating what i would have normally but then i was active with work and going out, so when i became pregnant and devloped SPD almostimmidiatly i became unable to exercise or be active so when i ate out of boredom and then i could nothing about burnng it off it all soon piled on. three stone….. three stone i was sick at my final weigh in before the birth… how could i have put all that on? it was serioulsy scary even more so when my daughter came out weighing just 6lbs4oz i wanted to know where hte other wieght was and had to look at myself for eating all that i had…id never been one to eat for the sake of it and it made me sick seeing pictures of me that size i hated it… hated the face fat the huge butt the massive thighs. im lucky that i didnt get any stretch marks and thank all my stars for that lucky twist of fate but it seemedto take me ages to lose it. i couldnt exercise to make it go away and the c-section scar and spd were making life hard thank god i had a perfect baby she made life easy x

then just as i though i was making prgress and fitting some of my clothes i noticed the weight loss stopped again and i had no clue why…i became frustratd and angry at myself and the world and desparatly wanted my old shape back i hatedwht i saw in the mirror and still do even now.

howeverthe eventual reason to my sudden halt in weightloss turned out to be my second pregnancy wich i am in the second trimester of am suffereing already. again my clothes no longer fit my boobs look out of place and im left wondering will I ever be me again or am i simply doomed to be the bigger cuddlier version of my former self? oh pleasehelp me.

this first picture is me before any of my pregnancies,
the second one is of me with two weeks to go in my first pregnancy
i never did lose all of the weight from the first pregnancy i still had a stone to go so now i start this next pregnancy off bigger then ever and i just want to cry

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5 Responses to “Pregnant when told I never would be. (Paula)”

  1. muzicbox9 Says:
    June 20th, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    I think, for most women, we never are quite the same after bearing children. Some women do go back to being the same as before, but I think they are the exception. In my situation, after 3 kids, my body is exactly the same as it was before … but now I have a lot of stretchmarks (ALOT). So even though people always compliment my figure, I always think, “If only you could see beneath my clothes!” Lol. I’d trade my myriad stretchmarks for a tummy pooch, bigger boobs or a bigger ass anyday! I really would – but there you go; we women do give ourselves a hard time. Nothing is ever good enough! Judging from your first photo, and the fact that you have no stretchmarks, I would say that you faired very well as far as outward appearances go. Your baby bump didn’t get that big, so whatever you have now is probably a bit of a pooch? I don’t know. Either way I think you look great and I have a feeling that you look a lot better than you think you do. We ARE our own worst judges! Consequently, I live back in Los Angeles now, but I lived in Medway (not far from Essex) for 11 years – I miss it over there (but not enough to go back – yet ;p).

  2. MJ Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    :) I had my third baby 13months ago i started out weighing 198 and delivered at 213 the sad part is I delivered my 1st at 206 and my second at 198 so I understand how frustrated you are. I was 19, 21 and just turned 24 when I had my kids I will say I’m finally in the 170′s!! I’m 5’8 so I’d like to lose 25-30 morelbs….. I think you look really good by the way just eat healthy and walk walk walk that will help keep the weight down while your pg and make life easier after baby too!! Congrats on mommy hood and your bun! Hope it’s an easier pg than your last!

  3. Sarah P. Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    You make one of the most beautiful pregnant women I have ever seen! There isn’t a shadow of doubt in my mind that you are more beautiful now. Being a mother is beautiful on everyone.

  4. paula Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    Thankyou for all of your comments, I love being a mum more then anything in the world and now im 22 weeks into the next pregnancy and still(witht he aide of baby oil and good skin) stretch mark free x
    ive put on a stone in weight but again am suffering with severe spd and now to boot i have a loose hip that dislocates at the drop of a hat but i try not to eat as much junk food x
    your words of encouragment are just that to me and make me feel like im not alone x
    i have found out that this time around is a little boy so will have one of each and am carrying him higher then i did with Molli-Jayne x ill add more pictures soon love to youall x
    paulajayne55@yahoo.com

  5. Mya Maternity Says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 7:30 am

    You are so cute pregnant!! Every woman who has given birth notices some changes in their body afterwards. Whether it is added weight or stretchmarks or sagging there are changes. Pregnancy is one of the most amazing things but it does change your body. Be proud of who you are and the children you are bringing into the world. I hope this pregnancy is a bit easier on you!!

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