I’m 21 and a mother of two handsome boys. My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for 3. I’m very self conscious and it got worse after I had our first son at 17. He came to my job (anniversary day) and brought me home early. We haven’t had sex in 8 months because I’m afraid he doesn’t like how I look. When we got home and he opened the door I saw roses leading to the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom.
I was shocked but my heart skipped a beat when I saw the condoms on the night stand. He told me to go in the bathroom and change into the outfit he had left for me and I did. I hurried and wrapped myself in a towel and opened the door. He started to kiss me and squeezing my butt. In my head I began to feel scared because he was about to unhook the back of my outfit. He’s seen my breasts but not the rest of my body.
He pulled it down to my v-line and began at kiss and lick each mark. I had to lay up and look at him. I had no idea guys his age accepted women like me. That taught me to love myself and every chance he gets he tries to play around with them. Ladies love yourself because if you don’t, no one else will.
A story I thought you’d like and am happy for you to share if you like… I have a 3 week old… and a 4yo and a 7yo… I got stretch marks in my second pregnancy. I hated them…. mostly because I developed the truly evil rash that is PUPPS and the itchiness was horrendous. Anyway, they faded and I learned to live with them. Pregnant again 3.5 years later, my third baby resulted in more stretch marks in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy… something I don’t understand as he was just over a pound LIGHTER than my previous mighty girl baby… anyway, these ones are worse! I haven’t been hiding them, but nor have I displayed them…
Tonight my 7yo lay in bed next to me reading as I breastfed his baby brother. He looked over and say, “wow mum you have a totally cool pattern on your tummy… did baby M make that ?”
I got to answer proudly, “yup!”
A couple of weeks ago, SOAM had our #redefiningsupermom gathering here in San Diego. My friend Heidi came and took some awesome photos of us, showing our bellies, wearing our capes, being just generally super. (By, the way, PLEASE take a look at Heidi’s incredible Homeless Humans of San Diego Facebook page, she does a lot of good work helping people down here. If you feel so inclined, as a thank you for having her help by shooting SOAM’s event for FREE, buy her book. Half the sales go to supporting the people she works with. And if you are local, maybe book her for your own family photos.)
I love events like this, where we all get together and just allow ourselves to be imperfect. We find empowerment in our vulnerability together, in our community together. We all showed off our bellies, none of which are perfect (according to society’s too-narrow standards), but we were together. And here’s the thing: these bellies have stories to tell. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and writing (which I’ll share soon) about how the body tells us its story by inscribing it onto our skin. How beautiful is that? Your body is poetry, it is a piece of art. No matter what it looks like, and whether it fits society’s standards of beauty or not, it is your poem, your story. It’s perfect just as it is.
Remember today that a real supermom is one who has had a homebirth or a planned cesarean, she’s one who homeschools or doesn’t, she’s one who is thin or curvy or none of those things, she’s one who breastfed or didn’t, she’s one who gave birth or adopted. Today we are #redefiningsupermom and recognizing that the only requirement to be a supermom is to love your kids.
Happy Mother’s Day, mamas!