I am a 22 year old mother of a beautiful 19 month old little boy. He was a suprise to my boyfriend and I but has completed our lives in an incredible way.
I had a diffucult pregnancy, because I had open heart surgery when I was younger, so I was a high risk pregnancy (actually I wasn’t supposed to have children to begin with). Everything turned out wonderful, and over a year later my son and I are both doing fine!
I nursed my son till he was 11 months old, and soon after I really began to struggle with my body. During pregnancy, my OBGYN wrongly encouraged me to gain, a WHOPPING 60 lbs….I am only 4′10″..and was barely 100 lbs before I got pregnant. 60lbs is alot to gain, for a normal height woman..but I am very short so every pound counts. 11 months after giving birth, thanks to breastfeeding I was all the way down to 105 lbs..and content. My family told me I looked wonderful, and despite the lose skin on my tummy, I was satisfied.
Well….after I stopped nursing, the weight I lost naturally slowly but surely made it way way back to my body and this time spread out to various areas. Now, 19 months after having my son I am back up to 125lbs.Gaining 20lbs for being under 5 feet is ALOT.
I have changed my diet,devoted an hour everyday to working out and running on a treadmill. I have done everything. A very hard aspect of losing the weight is that my boyfriend is a chef/baker.which makes a big part of our life food. I am doing better with portions and controlling what I eat. But,even when I kill myself working out and eating horrible diet foods, my weight does not budge!I can’t do anything to lose this weight!
My stomach used to be my main concern, it was saggy and hung over my pants. It wasn’t until I went to buy new jeans that I realized the weight was distrubuted everywhere else. My butt,my thighs, my abdomin. I have horrible bulky love handles that wrap around to my lower back and fold over in the front. I grabbed a size 4 jeans, very unhappy that I had gone up that many sizes since having my son. Till my 6th months of pregnancy I was an incredible 0/1 size. To my horror, I was not even a size 4..I am now a size 7! I can’t believe I allowed my once petite body to become this”chubby.”
There are many things that influence my struggle with my body. My boyfriend is probally my main reason. He is not the biggest guy, he is about 5′11″…but only 130 lbs…hes a slight guy, which I was fine with…until I felt double his width! I’m always comparing how much more fat I had than him. He has never complained about my weight gain, and is very supportive of everything I do but at the same time things don’t feel the same. I realize sometimes, he goes to caress my stomach and then pulls away. I’m afraid he is grossed out by my flubby body. I’m always worried his friends call him a “chubby chaser” since he’s such a tiny guy and I’m now short and chubby. He’s never hinted at any of this, but its all in my head.All of his friends have gorgeous skinny gilfriends…its hard to compare to.
Another area that affects my self consciousness is that I used to be so tiny. I was a dancer and cheerleader in high school and after I got alot of attention for being so small and skinny. I was never superficial about looks, but I didn’t realize that before I didn’t care because I was so confident in my appearance. For the longest time, I was not even 100 lbs. I was skinny and had no body fat at all. I miss being that size, and not caring what I looked like. I used to be able to throw on any clothes and run out of the house, and have fun because I wasn’t paranoid about my body. Now, it consumes my mind. I feel entirely miserable in my own skin. I just want to warp myself back into my old pre-baby body so I can be fully comforable about myself. I want to be happy and confident again.
My mother and my grandmother are both overweight and I can see my body becoming their body type. That is just how the women in my famiy are, very short and overweight.I don’t want to just sit back and watch it happen. I want my boyfriend to be impressed with his girlfriends body.
I’m so frustrated that my body and my metabolism changed so quickly after having a baby. I always thought that I would be one of the girls whos body stays the same forever. Guess not.
I am never bothered by celebrity moms, because they have the money to look good, with surgery and personal fitness trainers. In reality, moms have to watch their own kids, have no time for a shower let alone hours of working out…and can’t just liposuction away their baby fat. What kills me, is seeing my friends who are my age, look incredible after having a baby.
Somedays, I think….things could be so much worse…I could be badly injured or unable to care for my son and lead a normal life. I could be very sick, or in an accident. I need to be thankful for what I have, and can do with my life. At the same time, I know ignoring the fact that this deep anxiety about my body is only getting worse as the days go by..isn’t going to help.
The photos are of my body NOW from a bunch of differant angles. bending over belly. behind shot, close up belly,saggy boobs,etc….the one of my boyfriend and I was taken when I was a few months pregnant..already have a little belly but still a size 0.
Other information, I had a c-section, Im a young mom.
I am 22 right now I was 20 when I had my son. He is 19 months old. I have been pregnant once and had 1 baby.19 months post pardum
October 26th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
well i dont think you look that bad, your belly looks like that cause you had a c section so there isnt much you can do…maybe you can dress up your new shape as it is…your not fat all. Have you tried cardio and hip hop dancing? that would no doubt burn some fat off (well what you think you have)…i used to actually hate short girls like you, who were tiny and cute, as Iam five ten and 125 pounds…i just had my 2nd kid 2 months ago and Im back to my pre baby size…i guess that is the one advatage of being a taller chick…we can gain and its ot so noticeable…and short girls have that problem.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
You are waaay to hard on yourself! I think you look great. What are you doing for exercise? I found the P90X dvds to be very effective in getting the weight off. When I was trying to lose the weight (I gained 55 pounds) I also REALLY watched what I ate. Pretty much no sugar or white carbs. Mostly protien, fruit, veggies, and some whole grains. I hope that helps a bit! Just remember that you look really great and with time things will get better.:)
October 26th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Honestly, I think you look great! I do not think that you have saggy breasts at all!! And, a killer behind
I thought my stomach was all loose skin, and after I lost the weight, it went down a lot! (I’m “2 beautiful boys and an apron”)
I know how hard it is to be skinny, and then have the baby and you end up feeling not like yourself.
I used fitday.com to get rid of my baby weight, (I gained 55 pounds, and was 100 at the beginning of my second pregnancy!) and it really works!
Anyways, I really do believe you look awesome!
October 26th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
You look awfully cute. I think you are being too hard on yourself. That weight will drop off eventually. I used to look like that and now I am back to my fightin’ weight. I bet your hubby still thinks you are hot!!
October 26th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
You look just like me (but my breasts are saggier.. still nursing) I expected to see a body waaaay worse from how you talked… but that’s exactly how I feel as well. So hopefully you can take comfort in the fact that you judge your body way harsher than others do! I think you look great! I know how hard it is to truly convince yourself your body is beautiful but this is a terrific step
October 26th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
I can honestly say I totally understand! I was athletic in high school and had twins 9 months ago and started doing my good ol’ regular treadmill workouts and such and I wasn’t tightning up or losing the weight. I’m 22 now. I have been doing P90X for 16 days and have lost 7lbs.(not that the number really matters) and lost 4 in. in my belly. This workout is TOUGH! It’s about an hour or so everyday and gives you a really precise eating guide (I use the portion section) so you know exactly what to put in your body so you can get the most out of the workouts. At first, my hubby and I were overwhelmed b/c we had to get all new groceries and get up an hour earlier to workout everyday. But we are doing it and I feel so much better about myself:) The hubsters is trying to gain muscle so we are on different eating plans but it is working for him too. I just really wanted to share this with you bc I think you would be perfect for it because you are definitely fit but you just want to firm up the mid-section. I will ad some pictures up here after our first 30days are up. It will be under (Kimberly)! Good Luck!
October 26th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
After reading your post I was expecting this series of pictures of a fat girl. Youre not fat!! you look so cute! I reccomend the p90x as well. It did wonders for my post baby body! I was down to a 4 for the first time since jr. high. Its a hardcore workout but you can do it at home, it takes a little over an hour and u can do it during nap time! Its like the perfect mommy workout :). If youre not a self motivator and you live in the US I recommend baby bootcamp. Its a bootcamp style workout and you can bring your baby with! Best of luck and dont be so hard on yourself youre gorgeous!
October 26th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
You look beautiful. I understand that body acceptance can be very challenging (I definitely struggle with it as well) but you have a truly beautiful body, and I hope one day you can learn to accept it (whether you lose the weight or not).
October 26th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Your boyfriend may be pulling away when he goes to caress your stomach because he knows that YOU are uncomfortable with it. Guys can tell when we complain about a certain area of our bodies, and sometimes they avoid that area simply because they don’t want to make us uncomfortable, or hear us complain about our “fat.” I would imagine that he thinks you’re beautiful, and you are. As a size 12/14 I honestly can’t imagine someone as petite as a size 7 could feel “chubby.” You have a beautiful body, and not just in the “it could be worse” kinda way. Your body is beautiful in and of itself, and it makes me so sad to read this and see how hard some gorgeous women can be on themselves.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
You don’t look like you weight 125 on an under 5′ frame! Like others said I’d try some workout videos and walk a LOT
October 26th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
omg were like twins!!im 18yrs old and have a 21month old baby girl and im 5months preg again!i was born with a hole in my heart and im going to have to have surgery on my heart too=( they want to do it right after i deliever!but neways im 5′0 and i weigh 120[thats me being 5months preg]i also gained 60+lbs with my first baby..i was skinny before i got preg too.i ran track in school and could just eat anything and not gain weight so i thought the weight would fall off but my stayed=/ oh and how the stomach hangs like that its not because u had a c-section cuz i didnt have a c-section and mine hangs just like that=( but i know how you feel girl..it feels good knowing im not the only one going through this and i feel like finally someone understands me=) well good luck and keep your head up!!!
October 27th, 2009 at 1:31 am
Please do not blame the c-section as one of the answers suggested!!! I had a c-section myself and 10 days after my tummy looked exactly as it did before pregnancy (might be that European c-sections are performed differently, they don`t cut the abdominal muscles but stretch them apart so that no harm is done to them but I don`t think it is done differently in the U. S.?!), I only had to strengthen my muscles. Your tummy can look good in spite of having a c-section (the scar will remain of course), there is a lot you can do! I would focus on strength training. Some weeks ago, there was a post here from an amazing lady who described her workout in detail, she looked like a fitness-model and as far as I remember she had a good amount of weight to lose, which she eventually did. Too much cardio isn`t a solution, try to have a good workout with weights twice a week and you are going to see amazing results!
October 27th, 2009 at 1:52 am
I don’t think you have saggy breasts at all !!!
October 27th, 2009 at 4:41 am
I am also petite, and I have always feared what pregnancy will do to my body (still no kids)…to be honest, I find your pictures very encouraging!! You look good! You might be misinterpreting your boyfriend’s caressing. Or maybe you are becoming so body conscious that he might be concerned about touching sensible areas?… Maybe you should try weights, seems to help with loose skin … we always want to look better, but you look GOOD!
October 27th, 2009 at 6:57 am
I think you look great! You might want to have your thyroid checked, if you having that hard of a time losing weight and you are working at it your thyroid could be the problem. Keep you head up beautiful!
October 27th, 2009 at 9:41 am
I think you look pretty healthy!
A couple things—don’t waste your time with ‘horrible diet foods’. A good ‘diet’ is not a diet at all, but just a healthy eating plan with proper portions. Fruit, vegetables, whole grains and lean meats/protein are NOT diet foods.
Also, try reading “The Cardio Free Diet” by Jim Karas and focus more on weight training. For a great cardio component, try babywearing. With your baby on your back in a wrap or mei tai, you get an awesome workout because your body is fooled into thinking you weigh more–so you burn more calories; it helps your core strength too by demanding good posture. You don’t need to ‘devote’ separate time for exercise this way–just do the housework, walk to the store, or at the store, etc.
Also, get your thyroid functioning tested because that is a common issue. But it is also a well established fact that women underestimate how much they eat (use a food diary) and over estimate how much they exercise. But you do look great–maybe you’re not what you were before, but I suppose not much in your life is like it was before
October 27th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Our bodies are identical hun … and I think you look fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 28th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Maybe we shouldn’t focus so much on giving workout/diet advice, but support. I think you look amazing.
November 8th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
i think that supporting someone to be healthy through diet and working out is another form of support. It is proven that exercise improves mood and can help self confidance . I don’t think that we should just be telling someone they look great, without also being able to say that working out helps tighten some of those muscles a
November 9th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Thank you all for your support. I do appreciate the support to continue to workout and tone up my body. I know that with a lot of work my body could look a lot better than it does but I also know that there are many areas of my body that will never be the same. This site is designed to help mothers see that we aren’t alone..If we all had the time and money to workout and have appropriate diets to get us to fairly normal before-baby bodies then there would be no need for this site. Most the moms on this site are all in the same shoes..busy with work and children and all the various things that happen after you have a baby. Part of the frustration we have with our bodies after having a baby is not having the time,energy or ability to lose weight like we did before we had the baby.
So..for all the comments and comments about comments related to only encouragement to workout and lose weight…Thank you for being confident that I could look better…but for the moms who are like me..and wish we could look better…but can’t right now…that is what this site is for.
Keep encouraging Momma’s…this site does wonders for our perspective on our bodies. Hopefully someday our views on our bodies will not be tainted by society and media…We are beautiful because of what we do..and who we are..not how our bodies looked…Look…or could look.