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Not Even Halfway (Anonymous)

December 26, 2011

19 years old. 1st pregnancy. 17 weeks.

I’m only seventeen weeks and I have been struggling with my weight gain. My doctors and family say its completely normal, I know I haven’t a lot to be so upset about I’m not gaining more weight than I’m supposed too. But I’m very stressed, I was in a relationship that had me so wrapped up. We broke up. Then I find out I’m a month pregnant. I did even want to tell him, and hadn’t planned on doing so, he broke my heart, and I just didn’t want to be more of a burden on him. But I tell him since all my close friends agreed that he needed to know. Once I told him it seemed like all friendship we had left over from our relationship was drained. The reaction I expected. He’s a year and six months older and already has a child. I just made his life even harder. I have been going through this whole pregnancy alone. With his first son. I wanted him to at least with our child. But it has now come down to being fully single and completely alone. Now I’m growing which is ultimately difficult, I never was a “skinny” girl always had curves and was kind of thick. I’m only 5’3. But before I became pregnant I was the smallest I had been since middle school. A shapely 2. Now I’m a four, and in maternity pants because I’m carrying so low. Every day is a new day and another one conquered. I’m working on my body issues, I just wish people would quit pointing out that in clothes I just look like I’ve gained weight not “showing”.

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16 Responses to “Not Even Halfway (Anonymous)”

  1. Sarah Says:
    December 26th, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    Whatever you do, don’t delete these pictures from your computer. They are BEAUTIFUL!!! Wow, you are gorgeous and what a perfect pregnant belly!!!

  2. Jessica Says:
    December 26th, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Oh wow! You are so beautiful.

  3. Mandy Says:
    December 26th, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    you dont look big at all, and you definetly dont look thick…you look pregnant , not fat, thick or whatever….and just think without the douchbag in your life, you wont have anyone threatening to take away your child…raise this one and love every moment :)

  4. Melissa Says:
    December 26th, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    You look beautiful! Don’t be so hard on yourself about how you are looking. Pregnancy is hard, especially when you are used to such a thin body. It gets easier. Just embrace your new body and remember that once he is born there is nothing stopping you from getting back down to a 2 if thats what you want. It just takes hard work and determination. As for you doing it alone…you are never alone. There is more than a father in a child’s life and you will be the most important. Just remember to surround yourself with lots of supportive friends and family and you’ll do great. Best of luck <3

  5. mar Says:
    December 26th, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    I know it can be hard in the first part of your pregnancy- you feel like you’re just gettng big and there’s nothing that says “hello, I’m pregnant!”….. But I hope you hear this when I say YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

    It’s very hard to be a single mother, let alone one without a supportive or present father-figure. I won’t offer too much advice about what’s best for you (only you can figure out that), but maybe think about looking into some counseling. A pregnancy, plus being left alone without support, and being young, can become so tremendously overwhelming….

    Enjoy your beautiful woman’s body! You are a lovely woman, and soon to be a mother! :D

  6. amber H Says:
    December 27th, 2011 at 11:36 am

    awhhh its aboy! congrats you look great and do you and be strong!

  7. claudia Says:
    December 27th, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    Sweetie you are beautiful! I had my son at your age and now hes 16 months old and i didn’t look half as good as you did when pregnant. Love the baby belly! You will miss the baby inside of you so enjoy everyday and every symptom.. that man left because hes not meant to be in your life, but your child is and after you meet him or her you will know what true love is and what its like to be loved unconditionally…your baby will. Bring all the happiness and smiles you need everyday! Don’t you EVER think you’re ruined because you’re a single mother, being a mother is the best job in the world! Don’t let anybody shame you, you’re beautiful and you’re about to enter a happy world..and btw i looked fat not pregnant until i was like 6 months along lol…congratulations and good luck!

  8. Bella Says:
    December 28th, 2011 at 9:59 am

    I fully agree with you, people should NOT COMMENT our bodies when pregnant. I found this too very disturbing, and it gave me a bad feeling when it happened. What would they feel if you suddenly started to comment their bodies, how they had grown, changed, and so on?

    Of course it is demanding to be a single mother, on the other hand, you may have someone, like family or friends to help you from time to time, when baby is born? I also have friends that have chosen to become a parent on their own, that are very happy.

    Hugs from me

  9. Aidan Tro Says:
    December 28th, 2011 at 11:20 am

    I agree with the others- your pictures are gorgeous! Hold your head up- you’re not a burden on anyone! It’s his loss, you’re the one who gets to experience the joy of your baby boy! I had my first child alone, plus I was the first of my friends to have a baby, so none of them were there for me- they just didn’t get what I was going through. It was lonely and hard, but I’m telling you, the love of your baby is like a miracle. Keep reaching out to other mothers, online and in real life, gather your friends, and enjoy the ride!

  10. Sarah Says:
    January 2nd, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    Love yourself and your baby. Despite the circumstances, this child is a blessing. You look wonderful and when people hurt your feelings, tell them. Do you have friends and family you can get support from? Or a support group? Do not go it alone, search out help.

  11. Rebecca Says:
    January 5th, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    Don’t worry I didn’t start “showing” to the public till after 20weeks. You’re body looks great hun, be proud of it. :)

  12. Danielle Says:
    January 9th, 2012 at 10:55 am

    You look amazing. Keep your chin up, as scary as this all is, you’ll be ok. I was scared of my belly but I’ve embraced it and I actually think it’s really beautiful. Kind of sad to see it go. I hope you can get to that point <3

  13. Hannah Says:
    January 11th, 2012 at 3:26 am

    You look stunning. Absolutely gorgeous.

  14. maiysha Says:
    January 11th, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    dear mami-to-be,
    yes, you look absolutely beautiful. i am sorry you have to go through this alone. have you considered hiring a doula for you birth? i’m a doula and mother of two and think you would benefit greatly from having one. if you’ve not heard the word before, google it. like any profession, they are individuals. you interview and find the person and price that works for you. you can start searching by location on the dona.org website. you can get one free-to-cheap for someone newer. it will make your pregnancy, birth and postpartum soooooo much better!!! much love to you!

    and btw to others reading this, doulas are not just great for single moms, couples benefit greatly from them too!

  15. Kattie Says:
    February 20th, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    You look very similar to me when I was 17 weeks! i also was carrying very low and thought I was just gaining pudge, not so much baby weight. Now I am 23 weeks and 4 days and I read today my uterus is the size of a soccer ball!! I was very small to start off with and have gained between 25-35 pounds already, and am very self-conscious about it, but know it’s for the best for the baby. I’m sure when you go in for your 20 wk apt with you OB they’ll measure your lil bump and tell you you’re measuring out perfectly! You look beautiful and definitely not fat, but pregnant. and gaining weight, but not being pregnant may seem like a compliment to some people because pregnant implies HUGE, you’re normal :)

  16. Anonymous Says:
    June 14th, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Hey guys! Thanks for all of your encouraging comments. I finally got through the body issues by the end of the second trimester. I started to feel beautiful again. I made it two 37 weeks with absolutely NO STRETCH MARKS and then the next week my stomach looked like a cracked egg. At 39 weeks I had only gained a healthy 27 lbs. After a very long complicated strenuous 2 hours of pushing, I gave birth by caesearan to a very healthy 8lb 1oz 21 and 1/2 inch baby. His father is in his life and always makes it to all of his appointments, we’re going to a lot right now due to his acid reflux. (Though I do still feel lonely because I am still in love with him, and its very obvious we won’t be getting back together. I pray one day we will, but I am just grateful for him being in our son’s life.)
    I lost all of my baby weight at four weeks, here I am at six weeks feeling down about these stretch marks on my tummy. My body isn’t too bad so I don’t complain in clothes but with it being summer, I was very upset when I had to turn in the itty bitty bikini for my tankini. I am so thankful for this site because I never thought that my body would change this much and this site gave me some insight so I didn’t freak out too much. I like that we can support each other on this site about body issues. I love my son very much and wouldn’t trade him for the world. Everyday I will be working on not only my physical but mental wellness because having a child being young and single is pretty hard, especially when the person you want so bad is so close. I pray every night for that one person that will fully complete this family.

    Thanks so much to all of you! I very much appreciate it!

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