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Not Comfortable in My Skin AT ALL! (Nat)

September 21, 2011

~Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births:2 pregnancies 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: oldest is a 7 year old boy youngest a 3 year old daughter

I came upon your site last night as I was watching a documentary on Discovery home and health channel about moms who worry about their weight during pregnancy. since i live in Costa Rica i didn’t know about it.
when i got pregnant with my first kid i was 18 and 55kg around 125 lbs, and to tell the truth i never worried about the weight until after my son was born and i kept on gaining weight, when i got pregnant the second time i was a bit more heavy aroung 165lbs both my kids were born heatlhy and with good weight. ever since my daughter was born i haven’t been comfortable with my body i feel ugly and fat and to make matters worse last year i experienced a hair loss problem from which i am recovering now. my self steem is so low that i hate to look in the mirror and every time i have sex with my husband im embarressed because of the way i look and how fat i am. I recently got invited to a high school reunion which obviously im not attending becuase i don’t want everybody to see how fat and ugly i am!!!! i went to the doctor last week to find out that i weight 87kg (191 lbs) and she told me i was OBESE and it really made me feel WORSE about the way i look! im not confident at all in my skin no matter how many times my husband tells me he loves me, i wish i had a magic wand to make my body look good again or at least decent like many of the girls in here! i wouldn’t change my life for anything in the world don’t get me wrong! I love my kids and my husband BUT i hate my body!! i’ve taken all the weight loss pills known to humanity and nothing works and whenever i star working out i quit rather fast for no reason, i guess im just stuck being a fat mommy!

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10 Responses to “Not Comfortable in My Skin AT ALL! (Nat)”

  1. Tishia Says:
    September 21st, 2011 at 7:52 am

    These women were seen as sexy back then… and they’ve got a similar stomach that you and I have.

    http://thejetpacker.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/408px-Fornarina.jpg

    http://holyspiritlibrary.pbworks.com/f/1222037320/pastoral%20concert.jpg

    My medicine makes me gain weight, yet if I stop the medicine, my health plummets. My husband thinks it is so sexy that my body gave him children. I don’t feel sexy. I’m getting there though. If I can, you can too!

  2. Terressa Says:
    September 21st, 2011 at 8:47 am

    I understand how you feel, but you really do look better than you think. You have great boobs and really nice, smooth skin. Learn to love the body you have now, push all the negative things you think about yourself out of your head and just think about the miracles you created. If you’re unhappy about your appearance you can change it, but it’ll take 3 main things: Dedication, patience, and self-love. I didn’t start losing any weight until I learned to love the body I had at that moment. And your body might seem terrible to you, but if it’s a healthy body that functions the way it should you should be really grateful. I hope this helps, & good luck!

  3. shannon Says:
    September 21st, 2011 at 9:09 am

    First of all, congratulations on your children and your loving husband! Do not take diet pills, they are so bad for you. It is very hard to stick to a exercise plan, but once you start seeing changes you will feel better. Also, exercise releases endorphins, so it makes you happy :) Try and stick to a healthy diet as well. 80% of success is in the kitchen! Lots of lean meats, green veggies, high fiber grains (whole wheat)…etc. Look up the “eat clean diet”. Good luck, you are a beautiful mommy…and I hope you feel that way soon.

  4. mml Says:
    September 21st, 2011 at 9:28 am

    Hi! first off I know just how you feel! and I can probably relate to you on the majority of your feelings; but what I wanted to tell you is that you should have your hormone levels and thyroid levels checked…sometimes after we have a child, it messes up our hormones and thyroid and things like that, which I found out after having mine tested, for I was eating right and exercising and not losing weight…so it is very discouraging and frustrating when you are doing right and not seeing results. I however am trying herbal/natural supplements VS the thyroid meds out there because I know from other people that it can make matters worse when taking those and once you start you can’t stop them they say. Anyways, you should look into that; and as for exercising and stopping short, well make it a family thing! go swimming with the kiddos somewhere or play Wii dance games. And for your husband, I m sure he fell in love with you and not your body :) believe him and what he says! Good luck!

  5. sarah Says:
    September 21st, 2011 at 10:01 am

    Losing weight is more what you put in your mouth than working out. Making small changes like:cutting out soda or switching to diet, snacking on veggies and fruit instead of chips, and drinking more water can make a big difference.

    Personally I just cut my usual portion in half, and eat until I’m about 70% full.
    You still have a lovely shape. Get dressed up more often, it will boost your self confidence.

  6. Samantha Says:
    September 22nd, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    I used to have really low self-esteem, and it was so poisonous, I was SO mean to myself, and that is what you are doing here.

    YOU have to treat yourself at least as nicely as you would treat another person. You would probably NEVER, in a million years, tell another woman that she was fat, ugly, and that she should be embarrassed when she has sex with her husband. You would never say that because it is cruel and horrible.

    So, please, take it from me, start treating yourself like you are your own best friend. It has to start with you, inside your brain. If your best friend (or husband) felt fat and ugly, what would you say to them?

    Also, an anecdote: I have a friend who used to weigh 400 lbs, and the men lined up to get a date with her. She dressed really well and had loads of confidence, and men would shove each other out of the way to stand next to her. So, being overweight has very little to do with beauty or attraction. Love yourself first, girl <3

  7. Marz Says:
    September 22nd, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    the best way to go about losing weight is to accept your body as it is. Once you do that and realize that there’s nothing aesthetically wrong with you, then you can start steps to become more healthy. If you just tryto lose weight, I can guarantee that you’ll either go overboard and either overdose on those pills (which I have done, and it gave me a heart murmur) or you’ll lose weight and become happy with yourself for a small window of time and then hate yourself with every pound that creeps back on.
    A good site to go to is stophatingyourbody.tumblr.com I visit it every day to remind myslf that there’s nothing wrong with the way I look, and that I’m beautiful inside and out. It’s taken me 23 years to be comfortable in my skin– all the starving, purging, pill abuse, self-mutilation, and self-hatred never got me anywhere in terms of happiness. I was skinny but miserable. Now I’m healthy and happy. I hope you can come to accept your body no matter if you’re 191lbs or 125lbs.

  8. Nat Says:
    September 26th, 2011 at 9:09 am

    Wow thanks ladies all your comments have been encouraging for me i started excersing a few weeks ago and i feel great its a long way to a happy future! Wish me luck! :)

  9. Carrie Says:
    September 29th, 2011 at 5:55 am

    I know how you feel, believe me. But I just wanted to agree with some of the comments about how great I thought you looked, too! You DO have beautiful skin and I would kill for your breasts!! Keep in mind that what dictates a “beautiful body” changes drastically throughout history. The main thing is to make sure you are healthy. You have two little people who depend on that! Good for you for exercising! I have never been great at that, but I should start!

  10. Jolene Says:
    December 19th, 2011 at 12:44 am

    Your body doesn’t look all that bad to me and definitely not one that is “stuck”. I seriously think the only reason to loose weight is to be healthier and that you shouldn’t feel ugly and fat because I have seen worse on skinnier people! xoxo

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