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Needing an Ego Stroke (Sarah)

December 1, 2009

Age:20 Age at birth:19
1 pregnacy 1 birth by c section
postpartum: 12 weeks

I met my husband at a fatal car accident. I was first on scene as a forensic photographer and he showed up as a firefighter. We became pregnant 3 weeks after by surprise. Our son was a first night encounter baby. I was a very small person. I started out as 99 lbs and was a total gym rat. I took pride in seeing how far i could push my body to the limit. I never was sick during the pregnancy but i was unable to do any physical activity. As the months passed I watched my once toned body grow and my skin rip. I gained 32 pounds during my pregnancy. At 41 weeks the doctor induced me where i waited for the baby to come for 18 hours. After a hour of pushing that was going no where, my body was exhusted and was giving up. I ended up having a emergency C-section after 20 hours of labor all together. My beautiful baby was born, not all pretty like normal c section babies cuz i had pushed so hard. but he was the most perfect baby. I ended up getting a massive infection in the hospital and gained more weight to a toal of 140. 5 days later i was allowed to go home with my new son. I was horrified at what the mass of my body looked like after. I had stretch marks on my butt and my breasts and where my belly ring had been tore. My once butt now nicely blends into my thighs. Since the birth of my son i have gone through finding out about three semi affairs my husband had with three girls and my self esteem is at a all time low. I feel like a young mommy that has a mommy body and a nice purple scar from hip to hip and stretch marks. I am trying really hard to accept my body and not being able to workout as hard as i would like due to the pain still, is discouraging. i know i will never be the same as i used to be and one day hope i can accept and love the new skin i am in. I have dropped my weight and am now to 102lbs but along with weight i have lost all form of tone.

pictures:41 weeks, hour before being induced
me and my son
my son
the rest, my body now

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42 Responses to “Needing an Ego Stroke (Sarah)”

  1. Sierra Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    You look fantastic!! Don’t be so hard on yourself your only 12 wks postpartum and you freaking look AMAZING! in due time your body will go back to what it once was and once the pain subsides you will be able to get back into your normal workout routine. I had my twins 6 months ago via c-section and honey its been hard work and your smaller than i am. I’m 128lbs pre-preg i was 124 the smallest i’ve ever been was 114. and let me tell you for you to be 12 wks postpartum and 102lbs is fantastic. it sounds like your husband is unappreciative of what he has and he needs to open his eyes. Your a very strong and beautiful woman! Keep your head up and keep you the good work. Stretch marks fade yours don’t look bad at all. Hold your head up!

  2. Robyn Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    You may not have the body you used to have, but you still look really good. I have about the same body shape, more or less. I am 8 weeks along and just feeling awful about my “butt that blends in with my thighs” (mine sticks out so much, too!) and my flabby arms. I keep telling myself that now is not the time to lose weight and deal with it.

    I think you still have a beautiful body, and you also have a beautiful child. You’ll get your body back eventually. I’m sure you will. It won’t happen overnight.

  3. Kit Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    You are going to look fantastic. Three months is nothing post-partum, especially if you’ve had a caesarean. You’ve only just healed – at 12 weeks the healing is finally complete and your stomach muscles will have come together (it’s around 6 weeks post partum following a normal delivery). You HAVE to give yourself time to heal and for your body to recover. Twelve weeks is a heartbeat of time in terms of recovery after a baby and the best thing you can do is take a big deep breath and give yourself some time. Give yourself a year. Look yourself in the mirror and in the eye and say out loud “I’m going to give myself a year to get my body back after my baby”. You had nine months growing that baby so it’s only right that your body takes time to recover and put itself back together again. I can promise you that heaps of girls would say how amazing you look for 12 weeks post c section. Honestly, you can tell you used to exercise as you’ve really pinged back into shape and although you probably feel rubbish compared to your former, fit self it WILL come back. Muscles have memory and if you give yourself time and cut your poor old body some slack then you’ll be okay. Your stretch marks are barely visible (incredible for only 12 weeks) so they’re going to fade to nothing and you’ve already got ab definition. It’s all going to come back.

    I had twins and my stomach post-partum was a wreck – all wrinkled and pouching (they call it twin skin and it’s awful). As a previously super-fit runner with amazing abdominals it was a horrible shock and I could have wept at the mess my stomach was in. It might have been vain (and maybe it was) but I felt a lot of my identity was wrapped up in having a fit, toned body and it was hard to ‘lose’ that. It shouldn’t have mattered as I should have just been happy with my babies, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t. I wanted my old body back (or at least as much of it as I could get back after twins) and I wanted to be toned and fit again. And I am. It took me a year – pilates and running when I could find the time, but I took it slowly. My body responded to the exercise well as I suppose it remembered all the exercise I’d put it through before I had my babies; my muscles ‘remembered’ and responded. Now you wouldn’t know I’d had twins. I’ve still got a slight softness around my belly button (the badge of twin motherhood!) but my abs are firm, my stomach has definition and I’m in really good shape. My body has changed and it isn’t what it was, but I’d rather have my babies and my new body any day.

    I guess your confidence has taken a knock as you’re dealing with your husband’s betrayal which must be a really hard knock. Take it from me when I say that I think you look amazing and that your baby is beautiful. I also know that you’ll get your figure back and you’ll be fighting fit again. I hope your husbands behaviour was a mistake that you can move on from and that he realises what a gorgeous wife and child he has.

    Stay strong and be kind to yourself. You look incredible for 12 weeks in – ten times better than I did this early on. Oh, and final top tip, keep rubbing oil on your scar and your stomach. It’s really good for tone, softening the scar and scar tissue. In a year it will be a silvery, faded line that you just won’t see any more.

  4. QDTHEQT Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    You look fantastic! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Seriously, you really look great!!!

  5. Ali Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Wait a minute, do THOSE pictures match THAT story? Honey, you look absolutely gorgeous!You have a killer butt, flat tummy, and even though you think you’re out of shape no one would even second guess that you haven’t been consistently at the gym during and after the baby! BE PROUD! You’re lovely!!

    On another note, I am very sorry about the difficulties you faced during birth and afterwards, and about the affairs. I am sure that is what is really tainting your self-image and self-esteem. I can’t imagine caring for a new baby and having that to worry about. Please stay strong for your baby and surround yourself with positive support…whether that be family, friends, or therapy. You’ll be OK in the end!

  6. kay Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    u can barely see the stretch marks and i think your butt is perfect! give it some time, and then hit the gym again, i can still the the ab muscles so u’ll be back to ur old self again in no time! :)

  7. Janice Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    You are a beautiful mother an your son is adorable.
    Only 12 weeks postpartum…give your body time to heal. Its worked hard. The purple should go away in a few months. Iv had 2 c-sections they are very painful. You look amazing at 12 weeks …hot mama with a cute lil baby. Congrats!

  8. Elissa Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Girl, you look AMAZING for 12 weeks…Believe me I gained 61 pounds and I started off with a beautiful, curvy, perfect figure and it took me a while to lose all the weight I gained…Everything is a lot softer and less firm but look at what we made! Beautiful little babies! My butt and breasts got stretch marks too…I had an emergency C-Section…Your skin looks a lot like mine and my skin has healed so much so you cannot even tell I have had stretch marks. I am now 9 months PP and I love my less firm breats and jiggly booty….Now it shakes when I’m trying to be cute for my husband…You look BEAUTIFUL and while our bodies probably wont go back to the way they were remember this…You gave LIFE….Your body is so amazing that it could grow another being inside it….Hope that stroks your ego because I started off being 23 years old, 5’6″ 136 pounds…D cup and PERFECT…I ended up at 196, DD cup and after I had her I had to lose 42 pounds…It took me 9 looong months…So You have done wonderfully! Very beautiful baby as well!

  9. Chris Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Sarah, glad that some happiness came out of a tragedy, but sad to hear that you husband has been a butt head. Speaking of butts… you have a lovely shaped bum. Perhaps you are harder on yourself than you need to be…? I know of mums that beg to have your body at 12weeks PP. You look stunning!!! GOOD NEWS the C-section scar should fade quite a bit over some time. Hard to see if you tat was spared, if not what better excuse for new ink!

    Enough rambling from me. Simply put you are a BEAUTIFUL young mom with an adorable baby boy. A smile from from your son and know the world is yours and his for the taking.

  10. dee Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    your husband is a douch bag and you need to get rid of him if you havent already, what a seriosuly seflish a-hole to do that to you after you gave him a son, he doesnt deserve you at all. 3 woman!!! that is crazy, semi affair or not, he shouldnt even be talking to other women romantically if he has you! You can get better, even with the body you dont like, looking at the pics its not bad, so what if you have a scar, not a big deal, and the stretch marks can be hidden with a tan, trust me I know. I really hope you are not with this guy still cause living with that every day, knowing he has cheated is never going to help your self esteem, never. Move on, you deserve way better.

  11. kimber Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    i hope i look this good someday. amazing! your stomach especially. jealous.

  12. kat Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    your hubby is a fool for having an affair (but you already know that). you look fabulous. you dont have many stretchies at ALL. theyre only on ur bum and look like growth spurt sm’s.
    youll get back into shape and youll be the one running around on him :)
    smile, youre beautiful and your baby is adorible!
    all the best!!!

  13. shannon Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    Sorry to say this…but are you crazy!!!! Other than the scar, you do not look like you have had a baby…you are tiny!!!! I wish I looked like that. I am 23 and have had 2 cesareans (I am under child loss :( “2.5 months pp, 2nd cesarean in 2.5 years”)…You look GREAT!!

  14. shannon Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    oh…and your husband is an ass for cheating on a beautiful woman…

  15. shanen Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    I wish I looked like u. u look greay

  16. C Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    I just have to say that I think your son is adorable and your figure could be considered better than many women who have never given birth! I know nothing of your personal situation, but in general, regarding a wandering spouse…it is my opinion, that after the infatuation stage has passed, the “in love” of marriage is a choice; and if a husband loves his wife, he will cherish and think her more beautiful for being the mother of his child, regardless of stretch marks or an extra few pounds. Beauty is more than skin deep, I believe someone that genuinely wants and loves you won’t care!
    Look at your body as an amazing piece of art that gave you your son! Now that,is beautiful!

    ps- try weight training for extra muscle tone…your bum looks great in the close up shot

  17. taiyo Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    You look beautiful. I would never know that you had had children. Take care of yourself.

  18. Milk Chocolate Midwife Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    First of all, you’re beautiful and so is your son. I understand how undergoing physical changes during pregnancy and postpartum can throw any woman off. When you become a wife and mother, you kind of have to go through a type of mourning period were you mourn the loss of your old identity as a single, unattatched young woman. That’s normal as long as it doesn’t morph into depression. Your husband’s infidelity has NOTHING to do with the way your body looks. Trust me on that. For only 12 weeks postpartum, you look great. The tone will come back when you’re able to start working out more. Your body created and gave birth to a beautiful miracle. Be thankful. Keep your head up. And know that a mom’s body is sexy, life-giving, and awesome!

  19. Amy Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    You look incredible. People are going to be jealous of you on here! Well done and don’t worry about your cheating boyfriend. Someone will fall head over heals in love with you and your beautiful body one day. It he can’t be faithful it will be his loss in the end.

  20. Brittany Says:
    December 1st, 2009 at 11:53 pm

    Hi Sarah,
    I know it’s shocking to see your own body as it looks after a baby BUT you truly look incredible! I am very sorry about what you’re going through with your husband and I’m sure that it’s contributing to your body image issues. I hope that you can look around and back at yourself and see that you are beautiful! I would normally suggest that you work to change what you’re unhappy with, but in my opinion, you look perfect! Your photos look like after pictures NOT before pics. But I guess that’s just my opinion. Since you are so used to working out and being in really good shape, I’m sure that getting back to the gym (after you’ve recovered) will help you feel better.
    I hope that with work, I can look like you someday.
    Good luck and congratulations on a gorgeous boy!
    Cool tats too!

  21. kat Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 9:05 am

    seriously??! you look hot and your son is so handsome!! Your man is an idiot. You are smart and successful and BEAUTIFUL! If he can’t see that someone will. Your body looks better than mine BEFORE kids and Im a gym rat too! I actually had to look really closely for your stretchmarks and still could barely see them. Please dont sell yourself short. You deserve the best!

  22. autumn Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    YOU LOOK FANTASTIC =] I wish I could loose all the weight like that but unfortianly i am 9 months PP and dont look Nearly as good as you do and I also had a C-section, Good Luck and dont be so hard on yourself you look stunning, Oh and i like your tattoo on your back, I want to get more, one for my son soon.

  23. TracyKM Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    You look great. Babywearing is an awesome way to tone up while just going about your daily life. I’m just surprised to read that an 18 year old was a forensic photographer, LOL.
    And, I just have to correct a bit of a pet peeve. You were induced, went to 10cm and pushed for an hour. Your c-section was not an emergancy. Any time you get induced you are at such a phenomenally high risk for c-section that it should be considered almost expected, not an emergancy.
    You look fabulous and feminine!

  24. Lauren Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    You look so awesome!!

  25. Colleen Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    You had the cutest baby belly ever! I hope you took lots of pictures!

    Your C-section scar looks fantastic for 12 weeks! I’m 4 months PP and mine’s still dark pinkish. I asked my doctor at my 6 week check up how long it would take to fade to flesh-colored and she said several months, so give it time!

    The book I got on C-sections recommended massaging your scar with vitamin E oil or cocoa butter for about 5 minutes a day. It helps break up/prevent adhesions that form under the skin, which makes the area less stiff and prevents pulling sensations around your scar. You might want to try that and see if the pain lessens at all.

    I don’t know what your body looked like before baby, but your after body looks amazing! Look at how tiny your waist is! It may not seem as good to you, but stop and consider if “almost as good” becomes “perfect” when you add your beautiful little boy into the equation.

  26. Jillylicious Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    These ladies are right! Twelve weeks isn’t much time at all. Don’t be discouraged. I broke the 200 mark when I was pregnant and I didn’t even make it full term – now it’s been 21 months and I have lost 75lbs. I lost 30lbs in the first 6 weeks. You’re doing everything right, and that weight’s going to keep falling off and you really will feel so much better soon!

    Hang in there, beautiful!

  27. shannon Says:
    December 3rd, 2009 at 6:58 am

    Tracy…hahaha…it could have been emergency if her babies heart rate started to drop from the stress…

  28. Deb Says:
    December 3rd, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    Dude…. really?

    They say (in some quantum physics documentary that I watched a while back) that your own perception of self, coming from the cells inside your brain, can actually change your body, that is your cellular make up on the outside. Like if you are constantly ridiculing yourself ” I’m ugly, I’m fat…” then your cells will actually age and change, and so you will age pre-maturely. Check it out, it’s called “What the Bleep do We Know?”

    Leave your outer cells alone to do what they want. They are doing fine. Change your self perception. You look really great by the way.

  29. Katie Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    Your pictures are exactly how I hope to be after I deliver. I realise you probably cannot see what others can as you had a ”different” body before, which is what I am worried about for myself. Your c sec scar is so clean and neat and looks like someone drew the line on.

    If I look like you do after 12 weeks, I will not bother working out!! Soon you will be able to work out and god knows what you will look like then!

    Have a little bit of faith in yourself :)

  30. Katie Says:
    December 4th, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    You look amazing hun!!

  31. Nana Says:
    December 7th, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    You look great! And your husband is an asshole!

  32. Sarah Says:
    December 7th, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    Your butt looks amazing! I know this because it looks better than mine!!!! You look gorgeous and what a sweet baby! Congrats! :)

  33. sigma888 Says:
    December 8th, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    You look beautiful. What an awesome job!

  34. chloe Says:
    December 13th, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    ummm…three words…. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC !!!!!!!

  35. shannon Says:
    December 15th, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    OMG! You are gorgeous! You will never look “the same” as you did before…you are a woman now with curves and perfect spots to cuddle a baby. Embrace it and enjoy your son while he is small because he will be grown before you know it!

  36. Kara Says:
    December 27th, 2009 at 12:52 am

    Wow. My son is almost 4 and I don’t look as good as you do! You look amazing! You are a gorgeous girl :)

  37. sarah Says:
    January 1st, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    I AM GETTING A DIVORCE. I DESERVE A MAN THAT SEES WHAT YOU ALL SEE!!!!!!

  38. P.A. Says:
    January 16th, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    You look great. My son was born via emergency c-section after failed induction as well (instead of labor, my uterus went hard and stayed that way for so long that at the half hour mark they strapped me down and started cutting). I’ve only just recently started exercising again, because boy… it doesn’t feel good : p But I am going slowly- I mostly just take my dogs on nice long walks. I’m working my way up to walking 10 miles a day (so far up to 4.6 after just two weeks!), and I’ve noticed a beautiful change in my stomach already. I feel a lot better about myself and what my body can do (I felt so strange about my body when I didn’t have any labor… it’s very weird to be a mom who’s never felt labor pains!) My butt, I keep meaning to check out but I have no full length mirror in my bedroom, just in the kids’ room, so I forget to look at it when they’re not home : P I’m sure it’s looking a lot better, too!

    Like I said, you look great. I definitely miss running, but eventually I know I’ll do it again!

  39. Helio Says:
    January 18th, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    Yea..get rid of that retard.You are smokin HOTTT!!!If you were my girl..you would have to beat me off with a stick..lol.nice tatts btw.

  40. sarah Says:
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:09 am

    I am now divorced and have full custody of my son. never been happier

  41. pimmas Says:
    March 16th, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    Be thankful..you will find a good dad for your child and you look marvelous!

  42. Tiphanie Says:
    October 3rd, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    You look awesome!!! and you are such a strong woman. You and your son are blessed to have each other,, and I hope your ex has learned a VERY valuable lesson! Good for you!

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