# of pregnancies and births: 5 pregnancies (currently pregnant), 2 births
My children are 6 and 2, and I am 10 weeks pregnant with my third child
I became pregnant for the first time at 19 years old. It seemed like the MOST horrible time for it to happen. I was not in a great relationship, and when my son was 6 months old, I married his father. I wanted the complete family, even if that meant marrying someone I was sure I wasn’t completely in love with.
Needless to say, after the pot shots from him about the way my post baby body looked, not being able to have friends, and other verbal and emotional abuse, and finding out he was neglecting my son while I was at work, I left. And I left with a severe complex about my body. I called my mother and she came the next day and picked up all of mine and my sons things, and I left.
Almost a year later, I re-connected with a friend I wasn’t allowed to speak to while I was married, because he was a male. Later on, we started dating. He was so good with my son, and my son loved having a role model. We were married 2 years later. I had two miscarriages before getting pregnant with my daughter, but she was so worth the wait! I now have a wonderful husband and two beautiful kids, but I still have this overwhelming urge to cry when I see myself naked in the mirror. My husband says I am beautiful and he is still very much attracted to me, but if I am not happy with myself I should do what I can to try and change it. He has offered to work out with me. Now I am 10 weeks pregnant with our third and last baby, so I have to wait to start a vigorous workout routine.
I know that I should be proud of what I have done, but I can’t help thinking I shouldn’t look like this at 26 years old. I am so proud of my kids, but I am not proud of what I look like. I don’t show my stomach, I wear a bra all the time to keep my breasts up where they are supposed to be, and when I change my clothes, it’s a chore to find something I think looks right on me. I don’t wear a bikini, and I am so uncomfortable in my own skin I get nervous when I am with my husband in bed. I have tried to think differently, but I’m not sure how to fix this.