~Number of pregnancies and births: 1st pregnancy and 1 birth
Im 21 years old and i feel as tho my body is completely ruined and ill never fit into my old clothes or be happy with my body again. Let me start by saying that i love my daughter with all my heart and soul. Im happy that she has entered my life. No regrets! My pregnancy was normal i had gain alot of extra weight i didnt need. I was 135 pounds pre pregnancy i gained 72 pounds which put me at 210 and now im at 164. Im struggling with my self esstem and my appearance. I guess im a little vain when it comes to myself. But i feel as tho i look horrible. Im married and have been with my husband for 7 years, married for one. I feel like ill never be good enough for him again. That im not beautiful and i can never wear feel comfortable naked around him again.
I had started exercising, because i felt so bad about myself. I did it for about 2 months and found no results and stopped at 172 then finally i started eating less and not excerising which got me down to 164 where i am yet again stuck. I feel like no matter how many crunches i do the little pouch from my c-section will never go away not only that but my stomach looks like a tiger gashed me all around. Ive even considered a tummy tuck and laser stretch mark removal but who has the money for that?
It’s just so hard seeing these other girls my age with babies who are back down to 100 pounds within a month or the moms who look like they didnt even have kids. Why couldnt that be me? What am i doing wrong?
I get so stressed about how i look but then i look at my daughter and think its all worth it. She lights my day. But sometimes its hard to get past the thought of horrible i look under my shirt. Im 21 this is suppose to be the best my body is suppose to look, and it doesn’t. I feel like i cant even be beautiful until i accepted the fact that im not going to be like the super models or the perfect girls on the beach ( i live in Florida where everyone has the perfect beach body). I just want to be happy with myself and my body and ever since i gave birth i have felts nothing about negative thoughts about myself. I think it also has a huge impact on my relationship. Im always putting myself down around him and when we are getting intimate all i can think about is how gross my stomach looks or how fat i am. Which completely ruins the mood..i just dont feel good enough..
So i decided to post on this site because it looks like maybe you guys can give me thoughts opinions and maybe help me get through this time in my life. Id like to feel good things about me.