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My Body 6 Weeks Postpartum (Angela)

February 9, 2010

23 years old
6 weeks postpartum, 1st baby
225lbs

My name is Angela. Ive been a yoyo dieter all my life. Ive had plus sized years, and normal weight years… (about 130-160 lbs) Ive struggled all my life with it though. My mother would always criticize me about my weight starting from about 12 years old. Funny thing was, I was not fat. Not even overweight really. But I always believed her. Why wouldnt I? So when I ate better and lost a little weight to be 130 lbs at 5’5, (in my teens) she still hounded me, asking when I was going to continue dieting. Imagine feeling FAT at 130lbs. I felt terrible then. Then worse when i would gain weight and realized that I was not fat before, I was fat NOW. During my teens i had never been fat. I would just fluctuate between 130-150 lbs. I realize now that those are nice, normal weights. When I became an adult, I started to gain weight more and more. I would get depressed, thinking I was terribly fat, no one would want me, so I would just eat more and gain more. I got to my highest weight at the time of 215 lbs. I finally became so lonely and sad, I went on a super diet/exercise regimen. I got to 160ish lbs again. I felt great! I loved how i looked, could wear sexy clothes again, and i had huge confidence! I met my now fiance at that time. We met, fell in love, moved in together. He had always been a bigger guy, and as the relationship went on, I gained weight again gradually. in 3 years i had creeped up to 230ish lbs. And he SWEARS he never noticed a difference since we started dating. HELLO? 60lbs?? how do you not notice that? But, he loved me the same, and found me just as sexy as the day we met. We have a great reltionship, and hes done oodles for my confidence. :) But, old habits die hard, and no matter how much he tries, i still feel fat and ugly often. I got pregnant at 225lbs, had a vaginal birth, and since having the baby, Im back to the same weight 6 weeks post-partum. I want to try losing weight again, but im waiting till i get more of a hang on being a new mommy. I look almost the same as before pregnancy.. i have a few more stretch marks, (but im used to them, got em in the early teens from anywhere that i grew!) but my tummy now HANGS and is so ugly. I came to terms with being a bigger girl pre-baby, and was happy with my figure generally…. bigger, but curvy and sexy. Now i feel like i have an ugly hanging stomach and it just totally ruins my silhouette. And the worst part is, Its just hanging skin that I can only get back to normal by having a tummy tuck or something. I try not to look too much in the mirror lately, cause I get too depressed. My fiance tells me i look great still, but its hard to believe. :( But i dont harp on it. I spend my days with my little boy, enjoying the new life we have together. I find myself thinking a little less about my appearance lately, and instead i think about all the things i get to experience with my son. And no matter how my future children look, i will never criticize in the same way my mother had. I want my children to love themselves. :)

pic 1-4, 6 weeks PP
pic 5 1year or so pre-pregnancy

thanks for listening :)
Angela

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13 Responses to “My Body 6 Weeks Postpartum (Angela)”

  1. Kerry Says:
    February 9th, 2010 at 8:02 am

    Wow, I will say I definitely expected to see a bigger girl when I was reading your story.. but you look fantastic for 225, I would have guessed you were about 175!!! I know its hard to embrace your body sometimes, but focus on whats inside, not on the outside, it sounds totally cliche I know :P But think about how many girls are gorgeous on the outside and so selfish and black on the inside, and vice versa. This helps me a LOT at least. Know that your inner beauty is more important that ANYTHING. However I agree with your husband, and you have a very soft, curvy, feminine silhouette.

  2. shannon Says:
    February 9th, 2010 at 10:03 am

    Please know that it DOES get better. The overhang may not completely go away, but it may not hang anymore (mine is now a ledge instead of an overhang)…keep a lookout for my post, it should be coming up in a few weeks (6 months pp update (Shannon)). I think you look really good for only 6 weeks pp. When I was 6 weeks pp I was about 160 (I am almost 5’2″)…I am 10 months pp now and I am 133. With some healthy eating (do not diet…they only work while you do it and then you gain it back…instead try to eat all whole grains/wheat, lean meats like fish chicken and ground turkey, and lots of veggies and fruits) and exercise you will be happy again. Right now you are doing the right thing, enjoying your baby boy! I didn’t start working out on a regular basis until just recently…it was horrible of your mom to give you poor self image…I am sorry you had to go through that. But you will get better, and you do not have to have surgery…You look great RIGHT NOW!!!!

  3. Laura Says:
    February 9th, 2010 at 10:23 am

    I think you look great, especially for only 6 weeks postpartum! I am 4 months pp and let me tell you, your body still has a lot of recovery ahead of it. It will only get better. Isn’t it sad how we always see the worst in ourselves? I know it’s hard because I struggle with loving my body every single day, but we owe it to ourselves for the amazing things our bodies have done. Furthermore, we owe it to our children to set a good example for them. Like you, I grew up with a mom who was constantly critical of my weight and that has made my battle an even harder one to fight, but it has also made me vow never to do that to any child of mine. Stay strong, smile, and enjoy your little guy!!

  4. Natalie Says:
    February 9th, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Wow…your experience with your mom is EXACTLY like mine, and your body looks so similar to me that its almost scary (except your breasts are perkier :) )(my entry on here is Three Babies in Four Years). It’s almost bringing me to tears reading your story, and remembering how my mother used to make me feel. I’m so sorry that someone else had to go through that, but if nothing else, I think that experience had shown us very strongly what NOT to do, lol! I think it’s wonderful that you are making sure that you never make your child feel about their body the way our mothers made us feel about ours. And your body truly is beautiful, even just six weeks post partum. It’s funny, because I can look at your body, which is almost exactly like mine, and see it as beautiful, but my own I still have troubles with, and they are so similar! Anyway, thank you so much for your entry, it really hit home for me, and congratulations on your new little boy!!

  5. marilyn Says:
    February 9th, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    yes you do my tummy lookslike this but i also have alot extra on the hips and ont the back…

  6. KW Says:
    February 10th, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    I think you look fabulous! I agree that your body snapped back extremely quickly. Also, your boobs are great and I’m sure you have some shirts to show off some fabulous cleave to get your confidence boosted :) Rock on, woman!

  7. Christina Says:
    February 10th, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Hey! 6 weeks postpartum is hardly enough time to give yuorself! At 6 weeks postpartum I went shopping for new clothes, and now that my son is 4 months old I don;t fit into any of those clothes I’m at my pre pregnancy weight and loving it! Give yourself time!

  8. Shanyn Says:
    February 11th, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    Those could be pictures of me! I have the same hanging tummy issue after having two kids – both of which were huge. And it’s taken me a long time to be able to look at my body for the amazing thing it is instead of the chubby, blotchy, stretch-marked thing I see in the mirror. My husband adores me and tells me how gorgeous he thinks I am all the time. My children adore me and shower me with love every day. It’s my turn to love me and it’s your turn as well. So many congratulations on your new babe, take the time to love yourself as much as you love him.

  9. Angela Says:
    February 15th, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    thank you so much everyone for your kind words. they brought me to tears <3

  10. Addie Says:
    February 16th, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    I think you look great for only 6 weeks post-partum! Hang in there, and allow yourself time for everything to move back into place. I’m 7 months post-partum now, and things are still shifting around. :-)

  11. Jessica Says:
    February 17th, 2010 at 5:00 am

    Wow, you look GREAT for just having a baby 6 wks ago. I agree with everyone when they say you don’t look like your true weight. Your body seems very proportioned which is not the case for me & you are sooooo lucky that your boobs don’t sag. I’m pumping right now [2wks PP] & my boobs are worse than my 50yr old mom!What I would give to have better boobs right now. I’m 18 & had/have similar problems with my weight. Reading your story made me realize that being 130-160lbs is NOT fat, but normal & also beautiful. Thank you SO much for this. Goodluck & enjoy the MommyLife.

  12. Kristin Says:
    March 3rd, 2010 at 11:29 am

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting! I’ve been reading this website for a while, and it was easy to get depressed by women who were upset with being 150 pounds post-baby. I, like you, have gone up and down in weight since I was 12. During my pregnancy I gained over 70 pounds! I was at 225 at the peak of my pregnancy, and now (5 months postpartum) I’m 195. I feel unhappy with my body and would like to lose more, but hearing that there are other mothers out there who may be a little heavier but still look good (and you DO look good!) makes me feel better. If I perceive you as looking good, than I must not look so bad either. I keep thinking to myself, “You can’t look like a sapling when you’re a fruit bearing tree.” Hope that’s inspiring to you too!

  13. Audra Says:
    March 18th, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    I think you’re beautiful. I found this entry by Googling “6 weeks postpartum belly still fat” I’m almost 6 weeks pp, and am feeling frustrated with my body. I feel vulnerable and self-conscious… emotional and moody… all of those great things. I wanted to see what other women look like 6 weeks pp, and gain a better understanding of what to expect.

    Kinda neat: You created this entry on the day my daughter was born. She was born February 9, 2010. Kinda cosmic. Reading it, along with the comments, really helped me. Thanks so much for being honest and brave. Remember that when we do such things, we reach others in ways we couldn’t dream of.

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