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Mother of Four (Anonymous)

March 24, 2014

I am a 33 year old Mother to four boys. Twins who are 9 1/2, 6 1/2 year old and a 4 1/2 year old. I am posting my pictures of my body as it is now after 4 kids and 3 pregnancies. I am 5′ 7″ and 170 pounds.

I would say I am 50% comfortable in my own skin. My husband tell’s me he thinks I am so sexy yet I don’t feel it because of my flabby belly. I have recently looked into getting a breast lift and tummy tuck. My husband supports me if it is something I want to do. I am so torn. I don’t want to be shallow and selfish.

I guess I am posting my picture on here to get encouragement from other Mothers. I know I am my worst enemy since I feel my stomach is just nasty. The picture of my stomach up close with the black markings of a football shape is the skin the Doctor would remove if I had a tummy tuck.

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14 Responses to “Mother of Four (Anonymous)”

  1. Stacy Says:
    March 24th, 2014 at 9:47 am

    Look at my post (7 kids… A body to remember). I just posted and should be under Csection. I can very much relate to your struggle with acceptance and your body. However, the more age (I am 33) the deeper I go to my core, the more I realize I am wounded. With shame, ill acceptance, comparison. I know that if I were to go through with a surgery (I had a consulatation where they told me “I was an excellent candidate”, that I would still feel like shit if I let myself feel the shame of not being enough and believing it. I would also be $15,000 down, and have some new scars to deal
    With. I feel as if I would be teaching my daughters something that I truly do not want to teach them about their own bodies, and my sons something I don’t want them to feel about other women, or themselves.

    I decided I would rather invest he $15,000 in “all things that help me release the shame”. Massage? Mini vacations? Date nights? Counseling? Gifts for other?…

  2. Mai85 Says:
    March 25th, 2014 at 3:30 am

    I think you look great, but if you believe the surgery will make you feel better, why not? Why shouldn’t you make something nice for yourself? I don’t think your self perception should depend on whether you have a tummy tuck or not, but i think is only natural to want to feel and look better. I had a breast reduction many years ago, and i’m so happy i did. Just choose a good surgeon if you decide to go for it. Best of lucks!

  3. Maira Says:
    March 26th, 2014 at 5:12 am

    I think you look very good for a mom of 4 so you should be much more proud of what you have accomplished. But at the same time i can relate to your Feelings. I have a similar belly after 2 Kids and also thought about a tummy tuck. In my case i don’t have enough extra Skin and i was very scared of the ugly scar later. So i am trying the fraxel laser and it is working!

    I had a breast Augmentation 2 years ago and it was for me the best decision. I almost had no breast and now i feel like a woman. I suffered or years before my surgery and now i am suffering because of my belly.

    It is important that you feel good in your Body no matter what other People say or they tell you to be strong. You are a Young woman and if you feel uncomfortable with your stomach then why should you live the next 40 years with it and suffer?

    For me as a woman Looks are important and being a mother does not ┬┤mean you have to sacrifice on everything else in your life so thats why i take care of myself. Good luck!!!

  4. Anonymous Says:
    March 27th, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    I just want to thank Stacy for her comment, it has helped me make a decision against having plastic surgery. Just the perspective I needed. Thank you so much beautiful Mama.

  5. christy Says:
    March 28th, 2014 at 8:18 am

    tummy tuck and breast lift was the best decision I’ve made post partum! good luck

  6. Stacy Says:
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    And you have helped me to reinforce my own decision. Thank you.

  7. Jen Says:
    March 31st, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    You look great in your bikini! I can’t believe you had 4 babies! Wow!

  8. ann Says:
    April 2nd, 2014 at 10:48 pm

    Your body is beautiful and your husband obviously loves it, but it isnt about him. Its about you. I do believe its best to love your body as it is if you can. I love my post pregnancy body, stretch marks and all, and have no desire to change it, but ive been struggling with my nose since I was 13. I try so hard to accept and love it but after 12 years of this ive decided to get a nose job because I know I will never be happy with my nose the way it is. If you feel this way about your belly and you can afford the surgery then go for it. It isnt selfish or shallow. im sure you wear make up, think of it as more expensive, permanent make up. Att the end of the day you have to feel good about yourself to be the best person you can be

  9. joan Says:
    April 7th, 2014 at 4:50 am

    you look amazing don’t put yourself down,your boobs look great as well

  10. Dana Says:
    April 7th, 2014 at 6:35 am

    I am 34, mother of four. I do not LOVE my stomach either, but I know that even if I got a tummy tuck eventually my butt will sag, my boobs will droop more, etc…it really is the natural thing for our bodies to do. I exercise when I can (it makes me shower!! Lol), and try to listen to my husband over my own inner voice. I still want to keep my bra on during sex so I’m not saying its perfect, but truly this is what our bodies supposed to look like. It’s real, and it’s okay. North Americans have such a skewed idea of body shape– I went to Europe and every topless beach had big and old women proud of their bodies helped me see that this idea of a good body is ridiculous. Embrace the high waisted bikini if you must, but don’t take a knife to your baby making body!

  11. Dana Says:
    April 7th, 2014 at 7:38 am

    http://weseekjoy.blogspot.ca/2013/12/babies-ruin-bodies.html

    I just posted a comment when suddenly my younger sister, a first time mom, sent me this link. It’s much better than what I said! Please read it Anonymous!

  12. Vitt Says:
    April 16th, 2014 at 2:28 am

    I think you look great after having 3 pregnancies and four children.

    Regarding the surgery though, I really strongly believe that we shouldn’t have any type of surgery that isn’t absolutely necessary. This was advice once given to my mother by a doctor. The idea of cosmetic surgery in theory sounds great like a magical wand but the reality isn’t so. You could end up looking worse or get an infection, who knows? It’s a risk not worth taking.

  13. Bree Says:
    April 22nd, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    I think I’m the minority here. You look wonderful,but If your body really bothers you then get the surgery. You shouldn’t feel guilty about it. It isn’t like you are changing something that never was. You are just trying to repair your postpartum body.

  14. Marita Says:
    May 22nd, 2014 at 1:53 am

    Wow! I have to say, I think you look stunning! I can totally relate to your story. I’m 32 with 4 kids as well (6,4,2 and 9 months). I’m not sure what I am in lbs and feet (I live in Europe), but I’m 178 cm and 79 kilos.
    My tummy is a bit flabby too, but I do not plan on getting any surgery done. I’d much rather spend that money and vacations with my family :)
    My husband still thinks I rock, still loves my curves and my kids love my ‘softness’.
    I try to stay in shape, but my tummy will remain evidence of motherhood.
    You look fit and fabulous and your worst judge is probably you. To me, you look beautiful.

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