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Mom of 4 Awesome Kids (Felicia)

August 4, 2014

Hi. My name is Felicia and Im a 34 year old mom of 4 awesome kids. I’ve been pregnant 5 times but lost one baby at 14 weeks. My kids are 15,13,10 and 7 years old. I got married when I was 18 and had my oldest daughter exactly 1 year later. I made it thru 8 months of pregnancy before the stretch marks showed up. My breasts were a small B before pregnancy with her and after they were HUGE. I dont think my body knew what it was doing because my DD no longer fit after my milk came in. After I had her, I lost all the weight within 6 weeks. But that was too fast, so I was left with severely deflated breasts and sagging skin and stretch marks everywhere. (belly, thighs, breasts, legs etc) With my other pregnancies, nothing got worse, so to say, until I had my first boy. He ended up being an emergency c-section. They did a “bikini cut” but that still goes from hip to hip. It took about a year to tighten the skin that flopped over my scar. My second boy was a planned section but came a month early so he too became an emergency. They cut in basically the same spot. I was 120lbs when I got pregnant for him and by delivery I was 182. He was not a small baby. Even at a full month early, he weighed 8lbs and was 21 1/2 inches long. No wonder I was so big! Anyway, after my section I had a HUGE flop of skin that hung way down low over my scar. I hoped Id be able to tighten it up but 7 years later its still here and not going anywhere. My breasts are totally flat and small, my skin is wrinkled and marked. Im not comfortable in my own skin.
Im not with my kid’s fathers(my girls are from my first marriage and boys are from a horrible 7 year relationship thats not worth mentioning). My current husband and I have no kids together because I had my tubes tied after my last son. My husband always made me feel wanted. Always told me I was beautiful and sexy. I was never comfortable enough with myself to be totally nude in front of him. I dont feel attractive at all. Recently, I found out that he’d been looking at pics of nude women online. The perfect ones that are like 20 with no marks and everything in its place and that made me feel even worse. I literally hate myself at this point. I was online searching self esteem issues and things like “I hate my body” and “stretch marks” and I found this site and I was drawn to it right away. To see there are others who struggle with post baby bodies like I do, gave me some comfort. But it hurts too because I was reading stories and looking at pics and I never once saw anything that was unattractive. You’re all beautiful. I just wish I could get over my own issues and see myself like I see the rest of you. Im including some pics. I cant believe Im doing this. Thank you for reading my story.

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10 Responses to “Mom of 4 Awesome Kids (Felicia)”

  1. Kat Says:
    August 4th, 2014 at 9:48 am

    you Look amazing. You have such a nice flat tummy and great figure. You should be proud.

  2. Momof2 Says:
    August 4th, 2014 at 10:00 am

    When I was reading your story I expected to see a horrible body and shape, I was literally blown away with the pictures you posted. Are you crazy? Mmmm what’s this loose sagging skin you talk about? You look damn great for having four kids. Your body looks good. Your husband is an idiot and just because he’s looking at those girls doesn’t take away from you and Your beauty. Please realize this. You just need a strong dose of confidence. That’s what makes a woman sexy her confidence.

  3. Shannon Says:
    August 4th, 2014 at 10:41 am

    Wow…I feel fat just looking at you! There is no flap of skin to be found! A tiny ledge, yes…but no flap. You look fabulous :)

  4. Belinda Says:
    August 4th, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    I had a bigger tummy than that before I was pregnant. I never looked like that in a bikini.

  5. Rosalind Says:
    August 6th, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    News flash: You do look like one of those nude, 20-something women. Also, all men look at porn. Dan Savage (sex columnist) has some great advice on this subject and it’s helped me to let go of my former insecurity regarding my partner looking at it. Setting boundaries can help, such as suggesting he use an incognito browser window so that you don’t have to see what he’s been looking at and feel inadequate. How is your sex life? If you’re letting your insecurity with your body trickle into it, he could feel similarly unattractive. Might be worth discussing with him.

    You really do have a lovely body and I hope you can start to feel comfortable in it again.

  6. Waliyha Says:
    August 7th, 2014 at 12:40 am

    Oh hun, you look great! Seriously, you have a body that many 20 year olds would be jealous of.

    You look gorgeous, but more importantly you appear to be developing a healthier self image, which is best of all. Good luck in the future.

  7. MomOfFourUnderFive Says:
    August 7th, 2014 at 3:47 am

    What a fantastic curve to your waist you have! Hold your head high, mama… you look beautiful!

  8. Penelope Moolman Says:
    August 10th, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    Wow !!! You look absolutely stunning! Honey stop being so hard on your self… next time your in a mirror and your tempted to judge yourself to harshly… try and look at your body as tho it were a strangers… what would you say to them about that body? What would you think of it if you also knew this person grew and birthed 4 miracles too… give yourself the love and acceptance you would give another mother worried about her body.

  9. Luna Says:
    August 19th, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    You look amazing! I look very similar to you (no c section though) and I only have had one kid! You look hot! Your husband is not watching/looking at porn to make you feel bad, remember that. His viewing of that has nothing to do with you. Every man watches porn (or almost everyone) and it has nothing to do with you. Do you have an okay sex life? I have struggled for years with the whole insecurity/porn issue and most of the time I feel better. I have to remind myself that it does not reflect on my attractiveness. You look great, keep your head up!

  10. Kim Says:
    August 28th, 2014 at 8:39 am

    I never leave comments on this site, I just come here once in awhile when I’m feeling down about my body to remind myself that I’m not alone, but I can really relate to your post so I felt compelled to comment. I have had three kids and am 31. My last was an emergency c- section and left me with a vertical scar that I’ve always been self conscious about. I hate how deflated my breasts have become and I too don’t like being naked in front of my husband. I will say that deep down I know I don’t look half as bad as I see myself but we are our own worst critics. My husband tells me he thinks I’m beautiful all the time but then I still feel hurt when I find out he’s been looking at those “perfect” naked girls online. I’ve come to realize that even if I looked like a supermodel, he would still be looking at naked women online because he is a man and it has nothing to do with me not being good enough it’s just natural for a man to want to see naked girls. You look amazing! I’m not just saying that, and I know that in your eyes, when you look in the mirror, you instantly focus on any little flaw you feel you have, but when I look at you I see beauty as I’m sure most others do.

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