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Lost (Anonymous)

January 18, 2009

Here is me when I first found out I would be a mommy…since then a lot has changed. It seems as if everything I’d dreamed and waited for just shattered. My husband has had three deployments and this is the first time in nearly six years we’re under the same roof…so you’d think things would be somewhat close to perfect, right? I’m going into the 8th month now and found out he might (or has dumby…)been cheating on me. Naked pictures on his computer of four other girls, txt messages on his phone to “come over”….I’m at such a loss. Not only is it hard enough with the changes of my body and everything that is new, but now this. WHY! why would you do this to our family? I know he would make a great father but I’m completely at a loss with myself, how I feel, how I look, what to do with him, and my overall situation….talk about the one of the ultimate lows.




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22 Responses to “Lost (Anonymous)”

  1. Maija Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 9:16 am

    I know you’re hurting but be sure you protect yourself, just in case the marriage doesn’t survive. Make copies of everything – make a new e-mail account with a password only you know and forward the pictures and text messages to that account. Check his e-mail when he’s not around. Make appointments him to get tested for STDs (you were probably tested already during the pregnancy). Get counseling if you’re both willing to work on the marriage.

    This site has good information on adultery and the military: http://usmilitary.about.com/od/justicelawlegislation/a/adultery.htm

    Remember, you are not to blame. It is his lack of character that’s to blame. No matter how good he would be with kids, a “great father” wouldn’t treat the mother of his children this way.

    Good luck!

  2. Angele Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Oh hun! Hugs!! You have to assert yourself! Confront him about the pics, the text messages and the possible infidelity. You DERSERVE to know the truth; the stress on your baby isnt healthy either! Do you know what you are having? You need to find some strength at the moment, find a friend or family member to talk to! You need support here! Be strong! Please email me if you need to.. les3elles@live.ca
    Xo

  3. jen Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 11:41 am

    Oh honey
    so sorry you are going through this with your husband. No advice, but sending healing and comfort vibes to you. Praying for your family. Keep your head high for your baby, you are worth so much more than this!
    xoxox

  4. Tashena Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    Dear Lost,
    I do not have some magical words to say, no quick come backs to make you feel better. I do want to tell you that you look fantastic and no matter what may happen between you and your husband, God will never leave you. He’s always right there.
    I hope the last month of your pregnancy will be fulfilling to you as pregnancy is such a remarkable experience. I pray you 2 will be able to work things out and that your New Addition will bring as much joy into your lives as you hope!

  5. Karen Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    I am so sorry that you are going through this!
    You have to do what is best for you and your baby. You will get through this, Mama.
    xoxox

  6. Nakia Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    Oh dear, I’m so sorry. I’m going through a similar plight, being a first time mom to be and a soon to be ex- Navy wife. Despite all that jerk has done, don’t let that spoil the joy and wonder of the beauty that is growing inside you, and the marvel that you are. You are beautiful! Never forget that.

  7. Jessica Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    Hon, I am so sorry….the same thing happened to my sister. She eventually left him…it was hard, but she’s much happier now.

  8. Laura Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    I just wanted to say I’m so sorry that after 3 deployments you find out your husband’s cheating on you. But I have one question. Did your husband sign up for the National Guard?

  9. Jill Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    sounds like your pregnancy is pretty hard on him too. if you think he’s cheating on you, you need to talk to him about it and if it can’t be worked out you gotta get out of the relationship fast. you deserve what’s best for you and your child!

  10. Clover Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    You look great! OMG! I hope you take care of yourself and the baby because you are going to have sooo much fun with your (almost here) bundle of joy. Congrats and i am sorry about the bad news(but you seriously look fit and healthy and I bet you will bounce right back into your pre pregnancy jeans!
    :) keep smiling because it looks good on you!

  11. Andrea Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    I am so sorry that you feel so lost, especially at a time when so much change is happening with your body, both physically and emotionally. For whatever it is worth, your little belly looks absolutely adorable! You will be allright, regardless of what happens with your husband. Best of luck to you, take care of yourself and your little family!

  12. martha Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    OMG. I wish I could give you a hug right now. Can you two possibly go to counseling? I worked with veterans and I know they can get close to each other when deployed (are these women also soldiers)? I’m not condoning cheating at all, but maybe with committment and counseling you both can somehow come together for your baby. Believe in yourself, you are a strong woman, you have lived through so much so far. I wish I had a magic answer for you.

  13. Kelli Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    Oh, mama…I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a rough time. I hope that you have lots of support from your friends and family to help you though. I hate that he has taken what should be an amazing and beautiful time in both your lives and tarnished it.
    Your little, round pregnant belly is adorable – you look beautiful. I’ll be sending lots of love and squeezes your way. I know that you will find the strength to get through your low times so that you can experience the true love and joy your new baby will bring.

  14. Ashley Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    Honey you are beautiful, dont think what a scumbag like him has done will ever have anything to do with you, it wasnt your fault and i promise you, once you have your newborn in your arms, it will give your life a whole new meaning! Leave the a-hole and dont look back! You will be a wonderful mother to that baby! Lots of love! If you ever need to talk, feel free to email me, i’d love to chat!

  15. Tiffany Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    I’m sorry to hear about the circumstances that are surrounding your pregnancy. I’m also in the military so I know how it can be. Don’t let your husband ruin your pregnancy.This is a special time in your life and one of the most amazing. Try to focus on your child because once you give birth everything else in the world fades into the background and its only the two of you in the room.

  16. Lela Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    Wow hon, I’m so sorry you are going through such rough stuff. I hope you and your hubs can work it out. If you can, you’ll be the stronger for it. If you decide to move on without him, well, women have survived things like this. You will be OK. It
    is so painful for a while, but stay close to your friends, family, whoever supports you. And don’t doubt your own beauty. You are strong, don’t forget that.

  17. taiyo Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 9:39 pm

    Wow. I’m really sorry you’re going through such a terrible time. It really makes the woes we post on here about our bodies not being exactly the way we want them to be seem quite petty. For the record, you look absolutely beautiful. Is there any way you could get counseling, with or without your husband? I’m thinking of you and your baby.

  18. Faiths Mama Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    Girl…I know you’re going through a lot but right now what’s most important is you and your baby’s health. The last thing you need in your eighth month of pregnancy is extra stress. Try to concentrate on producing a healthy baby and not worry too much about what’s going on with your husband. If you really suspect something is going on you should talk to him about it. I know its easier said than done to ignore it and not stress, But it truly is more important that your little one isn’t under any stress. Whatever is meant to be will be and worrying and stressing is only gunna hurt you and the baby. I hope everything turns out great for you and I will pray that you deliver a healthy, happy , little beautiful baby. Enjoy your last month of pregnancy….once the baby is out time flys by!

  19. Kym Says:
    January 19th, 2009 at 1:55 am

    I feel absolutly awful about the marital problems you have been going through. first off i would like to say that you should probabyl confront him if he is doing it because you dont deserve that. and secondly I would like to say that no matter what your Husband did or is doing, you’ve got a baby coming and its not gonna make anything go away but its gonna helP! SO congrats and I hope everything works out for u!

  20. sally Says:
    January 19th, 2009 at 6:23 am

    sorry for what you are going through

  21. Jen Says:
    January 19th, 2009 at 6:43 am

    I’m so sorry! Do you have family/friends nearby to support you? My advice is to focus on your pregnancy until your little one gets here–then you can work through this with him and figure out what to do. I’ll be praying for you, sweetie…

    And by the way, you look great!

  22. Kristen Says:
    January 25th, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    My mom found out my dad was cheating on her while she was pregnant with me. He gave her an STD, and it almost affected the pregnancy, so please, do get tested.
    My mom stayed with my dad until I was seven, and he cheated on her the whole time. I know it is scary, but the best thing my mom ever did for our family was leave my dad. I obviously don’t know your situation, but just know that if your marriage does not survive, it is not the end of the world. It actually brought my mother and I closer together, and I wouldn’t trade having a single mom for anything.

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