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Liberation from my Mommy Body (Lauren)

August 1, 2011

Age: 27
3 pregnancies/3 live births
Children Ages: 8yrs, 3yrs and 7mos. 7 months postpartum

I told myself when I decided to sit down and write this that I would be honest……..not only with myself but my readers as well. I’ve always struggled with my body image and self-esteem. Seeing my body as something beautiful has always been a difficult thing for me. I’ve always been short, had big legs that were mismatched from my body and I’ve always been kind of awkward. After having children that struggle has become more of a battle, a war within myself. I have yet to lose a lot of my pregnancy weight, in fact I’ve put some weight on. Mostly in part because I’ve created such an elaborate love affair with food and also because in some ways I’ve given up. I look in the mirror and see a disfigured belly from the three different times it’s stretched and un-stretched, breasts that sag due to breastfeeding and that space between my thighs that used to be somewhat cute and never touched, now it does. Oh, and how did I forget the stretchmarks that seem to cover all the parts of my body that are supposed to be beautiful.

Sitting here, writing this is difficult but I need to do this for me……….and for her. My sons have a strong, confident role model in their lives, I want to be that for her. I don’t want her to grow up and look up to the 95 pound pop star, I want her to look up to me. I wand to be the strong, influential woman in her life. Even if I never fully regain my pre-children figure, I want to love my body, for once feel beautiful in it. It has sheltered, birthed and nurtured three wonderful kids and the stretchmarks and weight are testimony to the lives it has created. I want my daughter to know that no matter what her body looks like, that she is beautiful and that she will be strong and I want her to learn that from me.

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5 Responses to “Liberation from my Mommy Body (Lauren)”

  1. Dee Says:
    August 1st, 2011 at 8:59 am

    I feel the same way about my daughter. My mother was never a good role model in the aspect of body image. I watched her constantly complain about how fat she was because had to wear size 7 jeans and never daring to leave the house without a full face of make up. I don’t want my daughter to grow up that way.

    And our bellybuttons are pretty similar. I had mine pierced and it never close up while I was pregnant and made it stretch worse. Afterwards I felt like I had this weird indentation right above my bellybutton and the top of it was like a lip. It really bothered me for some time, but now at 9 months postpartum it’s gotten way better. Keep your head up! You are beautiful.

  2. Melissa Says:
    August 1st, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    Your tummy looks pretty! :)

  3. Dustie Says:
    August 1st, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    Wow! Beautifully said! That is how I feel, I am so proud of you for your honesty! I needed to hear all that! I cant believe how much that touched and inspired me! I am at the same place in my life and I want to thank you for posting this, I don’t even know who you are and have only seen the small pic you posted, but by your attitude I can tell that you are so beautiful!:D

  4. Jan Says:
    August 1st, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    You are beautiful. You have a wonderful attitude and outlook, your daughter has an amazing mommy that she is sure to look up to! Cheers <3

  5. Lauren Says:
    August 8th, 2011 at 11:10 am

    Thank you! It was very difficult to be so honest with myself, let alone sharing it with others. =0)

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