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Labor Story and Accepting My New Body (Anonymous)

July 1, 2010

This is my story, just to get it out there for others to share.
My EDD was October 29th 2009

October 29th came along, and passed. I was miserable, I felt huge, and I was tired of having my sciatic nerve pinched to the point I couldn’t move. I can’t count the number of times my fiance had to roll me over because I was unable to. I was supposed to be holding my bundle of joy at this point, but it seems she had other plans for us. I had gone in for a regular appointment, just to check up on things, and was scheduled an induction..after being 2 weeks late.
On November 10th I did the dishes, packed and repacked my bags, and went to wal-mart to get a movie to watch while waiting for my little girl to finally be in my arms. I arrived at the hospital at 6:30 p.m, went inside, signed in, and was given my room. After fighting with the robe for a good 45 minutes, the delivery doctor came in to check up on things. My cervix was completely closed and I was only 70% effaced. I was given Cervidil tape to soften my cervix at 7:40 p.m.
At about 9:00 p.m. I started having contractions, not horrible, just uncomfortable. I was able to watch my movie and call my mom letting her know I was to start pitocin Thursday morning around 8:40. Around 11 I was started to feel less uncomfortable and more in pain, I asked for a sleeping pill, as I had been up all the night before too excited to sleep. I was given my sleeping pill and told if it didn’t work, I was in labor. After an hour of being up and down to the bathroom I finally woke Devan to stay up with me. He kept telling me I was in labor, but after being told I wasn’t going to be able to walk, talk or let alone breathe during real contractions, I wasn’t convinced, I was doing all three with no problem. Besides the fact that I was telling Devan I changed my mind and wanted to go home. I even broke the little throw up cup I was given.
Around 12 a.m. I called the nurse to be checked, I was only 1 cm, which wasn’t very encouraging for me. The nurse told me she could take it out, but it’s working and she wanted to keep it in, and even being out it wouldn’t stop labor. Which, in my head, it soooo would stop the pain! I was still medication free, I was given a labor ball and hot towels for my lovely back labor.
At 3 a.m. I asked to be checked again, and was 4c.m. They took the Cervidil out and gave me a Nubane drip, because I was exhausted and had a sleeping pill in my system. I wanted to go all natural, but it seemed if I didn’t get some sleep, I was in for a long labor. Shortly after they hooked me up to my best friend Nubane, I was passed out in a deep sleep. With my drip, I was laboring in my sleep, I would wake up, push through the contraction, and go back to sleep. At first my nurse was telling me not to push, and after I was whimpering that I was sorry and couldn’t help it, she decided that my body had taken over and left me alone. She was amazed and had pulled in other nurses to watch my sleep labor.
At, 4:00 a.m. they hooked me up to my antibiotics, as I had tested positive for Strep B. At 4:56 I was 9 c.m. so they broke my water, I had told them in the beginning that our family labors very quickly, but they apparently didn’t believe me. 4:57 a.m. I started pushing, and they called my mom to come in. Her response? “Is there any point in me coming? I won’t make it there!” she was told yes, come it’ll be awhile before she has the baby.
At 5:06, I had my beautiful baby girl, after only 11 mins of pushing and 6 pushes total. She was out and not happy about it either. I didn’t cry, I thought I was horrible for not crying, I see all these pictures of the mother crying, but All I could do was look at this little face in awe and wonder. My mother did not make it to the birth, I wish she had been able to, but she was about 5 mins too late.
I was only able to nurse Charlee for about a week, I still beat myself up over it for not trying longer. She never latched on right, which caused me to crack and bleed. She was unable to digest blood and would spit up everything, even pumping wasn’t helping my supply, and I eventually dried up. But she’s healthy and happy and that’s all that matters.

After I had Charlee my body was all sorts of different. I’m having a hard time excepting my new body as it is. I know my body doesn’t look bad but I’ve always had image issues, and stretch marks all around my breasts, thighs, butt, calves and hips hasn’t helped this. I have decided I need to accept this body, as it is beautiful. It gave life and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. I am soon to go to the pool with my 7 month old daughter, sporting a nice string bikini. If nobody wants to see, they don’t have to look. And I’m nervous, but I’m okay with that.

I’m sorry this was all over the place, as well as the picture, they jump around, I hope you enjoyed my story, I’m sure there will be more about my adventure in my acceptance of my new body. The bra pictures are about 6 months postpartum.

-My age-19
-Number of pregnancies or birth-1
-Age of my child-7 months old

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8 Responses to “Labor Story and Accepting My New Body (Anonymous)”

  1. ren Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 11:07 am

    In a word you’re both ‘beautiful’.

  2. Lulu Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Aw, man. I’m 12 months pp and you look a million times better than me! I was two weeks late and had to be induced, and also I had back labour too. It sucks. Of course I can’t imagine normal labour is a walk in the park either. My husband spent the whole time pushing on my back, which slightly relieved the pain, but luckily I wasn’t in labour long. Your little one has such a perfect little face!

  3. skye Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Your daughter is so cute!!! as are you: )
    I got stretchies ALL over my boobs too (something I really wasnt expecting but, like you said, we have given life and there is nothing more beautiful!

  4. stephanie Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    You are so beautiful!! And so is your little girl. I teared up seeing her sweet little face.

  5. Lyssa Says:
    July 6th, 2010 at 9:41 am

    Lovely you, lovely daughter! Your attitude about the bikini is perfect. Enjoy the pool!

  6. Pam Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    I love your second picture, you look beautiful with that pregnancy glow! You have great curves! I have your stretchmarks too, I have them just like you on my upper breast, my thighs,my hips,butt and I thought I was the only one with stretchmarks on my calves! Let me tell you 3 years pp, they fade they dont disappear but they do become less obvious. On a side note, your daughter is so adorable I just want to pinch that baby fat, so cute!

  7. Marz Says:
    July 18th, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    OMG. that is quite possibly the cutest kid I’ve ever seen (and I’m one of those “most babies aren’t cute” people). And you really are gowing in your pics :) I’m 22 weeks and still waiting for my belly to fully pop (I’m carrying super-low) cuz I’d love to actually look pregnant instead of “fluffy” lol

  8. L Says:
    February 11th, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    Wow she’s gorgeous! ! Beautiful baby beautiful momma beautiful body. You go girl rock that bikini!!

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