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Is there hope or am I going to be in these shoes forever? (Emily)

September 10, 2010

I am 19 years old/ 18 when pregnant/ 19 when i gave birth.
number of children:1 born july 8th 2010.
birth: c sec.
pre pregnancy weight:105
Wheight right before birth: 175
Wheight now: 144
Weeks pp: 7

Hello. I started this entry knowing exactly what I wanted to say but suddenly…I dont know where I should start…perhaps I should start by saying that like most teens I was ungratful about my body I once had, and took every beautiful inch of it for granted. Or should I start by saying that I got pregnant on perpose?? Ither way I think I shall start with pre pregnancy life…pre pregnancy life was full of bushitten and partying…at the age of 17 i met the best boyfriend any 17 year old could ask for, i was in a verbally and mentally abusive relationship when i met the guy i want to spen the rest of my life with. i had been seeing someone since i was in 7th grade off and on until my jr year began. he fooled me so many times i look now and waunder what the hell i was doing. he cheated on me with my friends and always dissed me for other people…i guess its because when i lost my verginity to him i was only 12 and i was stupid and too young for sex. My father was never realy around in my younger years, so perhaps thats why i clung on for sooo long as well…andywho I met Cory my boyfriend now, at 17 when I was still with this guy…and I ended up leaving him for cory…which i will never regret =) Cory and i where dating for a few months and i fell for him hard and fast…he then moved to another state where his mother lived to get his life back on track, i was heart broken..but we kept in touch the whole time he was gone, he was gone fore about 4 months, when he got back, he thought he was too young to be tied down and wanted to brake up, i was heart broken…so he went his way, and i went mine…little did i know he was getting into some pretty hardcore drugs, and so was I with other people. He was doing meth and i was doing coke. a few months went by and at this time my x’s cousin was trying to get with me, i desided what the hell free coke, and i get to get my x back for all the times he messed with my best friends, so me and this guy fooled around, we will call him bubba, him and i where really good friends before we fooled around…but since we do not speak. so cory comes back around feeling like he messed up…and at this point i didnt know what to do. at the time i thought i cared abouit bubba but i truly didnt know what love was yet. long story short bubba and i broke up and cory and i got back together. cory was living with his dad who was a drunk like mine, and thought buyin alcahol was more important than paying the gas bill…and it was the middle of winter. so there was no heat or hot water. i stayed the night with him most the time, because i was just so crazy about him, and i had a vehicle to get to school. i would tell my mom i was staying at my dads, who lived a few blocks away, but i think she knew better.
Cory and I ended up getting into meth pretty bad up for days, and weeks at a time…hangen with the wrong crowed, when i was with my x i had no friends i didnt go out drinking or partying i wasnt allowed to, because i was stupid and let him control me. so once i got away i was doing everything crazy that came my way and it felt great!! Until I oded. and ended up in the hospital, cory and i had been up for weeks and my heart rate was increasing dramaticly and i was halusinating…when we got to the hospital i hardly rememberd a thing…my heart rate was 198bpm, from what my mom told me later on…after this i vowed never to touch that shit again…

a year went by i graduated high school barly, and cory and i got our own place. i was working full time at a call center and he was working full time at a catering company…he had dropped out of school when he was 16 he is a year younger than me.

I was on the depo bc shot for almost two years, when i got off it, i had horrable periods and bleeding problems thinking id never get pregnant…i got depressed. then i got to wanting a baby, for about 6 months, and then cory and i desided we would try for a baby i was almost 19 and he was almost 18, yea stupid i know. but we tryed and tryed and finally i realized it was never going to happen…then poof! on nov. 10th my mothers bday i got a pos. pregnancy test! I was so stoked!!! i called him to tell him and he was happy too! then everything came crashing down we both lost our jobs and had to move to missouri where his family lived, other than his dad. we where living with his sister which was not plesent at all grant it she is a great person, but it was very crowded. i was 24 weeks pregnant when we got our apartment, and settled in he was working full time at mcdonalds, and i couldnt find a job even if i tryed, i was already getting huge…
i was mesuring 5 wks ahead because of extra water the placenta was retaining…
people would ask me if i was having twins…
finally when i was 39 weeks and 3 days i was indused…because of savere vvaricose vains and the fact that my uturus would not grow any further, on l=july 7th i was induced…july 8th, i was finally 10cm dialated after 13 hours of labor and ready to push, i pushed for 3 hours before the doc said no no no! his head is stuck on your pelvic bone! i started to ball why me!!! after all this work. the gave me a spinal blcok that failed so they had to kncock me out for c sec. cory was devistatetd he couldnt be in the room for the birth of our baby! the knocked me out and the next thing i remember was waking up and getting to hold my beautiful baby boy! Karter Julian Wayne Bowser! he was born at 6:18 pm july 8th 9ibs 20z 201/2 inches long!!!

he was perfect in every way!!!

but now im left with this stumic. i dont mind the stretch marks, nor do i mind my scar, its this overhang thats deeply depressing me. ive never seen anyone with an issue until i came to this site, everyone i know had little 6ib babys and quick natural labors…and back to there pre pregnancy self…
i was a size 0 when i got pregnant now im a 9. that dosnt even bother me.
i just dont feel there is hope to get rid of this flab…everyone tells me only sergary can fix it. specially since i have desrectis recti savere seperation of the abdominal wall, because of how big i was…
please ladys give me hope!!! that I will beable to loose this!

im ataching a picture of my son less than a day old and of now, and a picture of me and cory before i got pregnant, as well as a before pregnancy pic and a pic of me at 30 wks pregnant. and pics of me now.

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8 Responses to “Is there hope or am I going to be in these shoes forever? (Emily)”

  1. Sarah P. Says:
    September 10th, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    Wow, missy! You are just seven weeks out! You look amazing and your body is really healing very quickly. And no, you won’t be in those shoes forever. My pictures at 5 months postpartum and 18 months postpartum almost look like different women. :) Stretch marks continue to fade and shrink, weight is lost, etc. You won’t be a zero again (I was a zero in my high school years), but you will get down in sizes. You’re a woman now and childbirth has forever changed your body. And it has changed your body for the better! :) Congrats on a beautiful little boy!

  2. Sarah P. Says:
    September 10th, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    * I should have said “probably won’t be a zero again”. Just keep your sight on health, not sizes and you’ll be happy with your body. :)

  3. Colleen Says:
    September 10th, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    You have a little bit of a ledge above your scar, but I wouldn’t call that an “overhang” at all. With exercise and once you lose your baby weight your tummy should be flat again. At 7 weeks postpartum your uterus is barely back to it’s normal size, give it time :)

    I don’t know enough about diastasis recti to know if it’s fixable without surgery, but there are exercises you can do for lesser separation. You might want to do some research on it.

    Congratulations on a beautiful baby boy :)

  4. Amy Says:
    September 11th, 2010 at 4:26 am

    you can fix your diastasis recti- i did- i had a 5 finger width gap from a big baby on a small body too! go and see a maternity physiotherapist and ask them to give you exercises- it’s better to try and fix it sooner than later. in relation to your ‘overhang’- you can lose it- if you lose fat and gain muscle it will get better (but don’t do sit-ups or crunches until you fix that diastasis, other wise it can make it worse)- eat healthily and exercise regularly, and you will see results, best of luck

  5. Mariah Says:
    September 13th, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    i was bloated like a BALLOON for months and months, because i slept a lot, and didn’t exercise.

    Without being too heavy on any advise (and also not knowing what your new lifestyle is like!), try taking the baby in the stroller for a long walk every day -I took mine in a wrap for a 2 hour walk every day when he was still younger than 3 months -he slept every time that way!

    But the object is that you don’t just walk; try walking quickly. This will give you some moderate cardio, and some time to relax and do something with your beautiful boy. I pop on my ipod and just jam out. My son doesn’t know the difference. :)

    Little things help too; I quit drinking soda (SO hard, but it is SO MUCH sugar in your body, which won’t help), and I cut red meat out of my diet. And as much bread/breading products that I could. Fish, chicken, veggies, fruits, yogurts, etc.

    Also; if you can, try and find some local moms who might workout together! Try craigslist, or yahoo! Maybe you can get together a group of mommas who will help motivate you, and you them!

    Keep you chin up, pretty momma! WE ALL GO THROUGH THIS. Your body is beautiful! You worked SO hard to bring this baby into the world! DON’T be so hard on yourself. It’s still so early, and take it from a 30 year old mom: Your body will stand a great chance at bouncing back if you take good care of it.

    Hell; there are some of us who are in some super awesome great shape on here though, and we’re not “spring chickens” anymore. :)

    But seriously; just take care in what you’re putting into yourself, and get out and enjoy the beautiful outside with your baby. Don’t fret too much about the muscles; you can’t change it for right now, but once you have more info/a diagnosis, you can get some medical help! Until then, take a walk! It’s healthy for your heart and your lungs, and all sorts of other important stuff.

    Remember: Chin up, pretty momma! :)

  6. Anarosa Says:
    September 13th, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    OH MY GOSH!!!!i dont even know where to start…But i read your story and i know exactly what you are going through…my stomach is the exact same way…i mean exactly the same. i am so depressed about it because i was a size 3 before and had a really flat stomach and now i have this nasty stomach. i dont mind the stretch marks either what i do mind is the bump that hangs over my jeans or shorts i call it the muffin top.lol i am in enermy of pants.my son is now 3 mths he wil be 4 mths on the 21′st i cry every night because i am so depressed. i am glad and am relieved that there is some hope…everyone tells me i will loose it because i am young (i am also 19 but got pg when i was 18 had him a week from my 19 bday)but i want it gone now…i dont understand what i can do to get rid of it. but i am glad i found someone who i can relate to..just keep working out!

  7. Emily Says:
    January 24th, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    oh gosh! thank you all! i didnt even know my story got posted!!! i didnt know if i sent it to the right adress…and I just found it, my skin is still wrinkly, ad i do still have a pooch but to my serprise my diastis is not as bad as it was, and I think I am going to start p90x! thank you all, =) my sons almost 7 mo. =)

  8. Marielys Says:
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:50 pm

    Sweety your diastis is fixable. Do the tupler technique google it, people have great results and you JUST had your baby youl go down in no time trust me!! As long as you avoid crunches or sit ups or anything that strains your abdomen and mimics a crunch. try the tupler technoque it takes detication but its well worth it!! I also have diastia recti i know how u feel but mine is WORSE alot worse i hate my body and myself but hopefully this technique will also work for me. Goodluck hun!

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