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I’m a Bowl of Mixed Nuts! (April)

March 14, 2010

~Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births: currently preggo

Hi mommies & soon to be mommies!

My name is April, I am at 37 weeks and 2 days pregnant at this moment. Im posting on this site to share my thoughts and feelings and hopefully get some good feed backs thatll help cheer me up. I got married to my husband at 19, and am now preggo at 20 and will be giving birth at 20 :)

This pregnancy wasnt at all planned, and i must say i wasnt ready for it either. I am scared, anxious, excited, sad… depressed… im like a bowl of mixed nuts right now. I’m feelin’ all sorts of things that sometimes i wonder if im literally goin crazy!

I cant really talk to my mom about “body issues” coz she tells me thesame thing over and over again
she says — “i dint care about stretchmarks or how my belly would look while i was pregnant with you and your siblings, what mattered to me most was a healthy pregnancy and healthy babies! … how you look or will look shudnt be your main concern before after or during pregnancy, or in life!. etc blablabla” — I cried for a week and a half when my stretchmarks started showing, it was more for the fear of not being beautiful in my husbands eyes anymore (specially since there are a lotta girls who flirt around with him… it scares me that he might leave me for some1 who has a better lookin belly)… and i guess i cried coz i know that my body will never be thesame again, im scared of how bad it will look after i give birth.

My stretch marks started showing when i was 34.5 weeks into pregnancy, after i cried things out, i got over it a lil bit and sloaly accepted that i have stretchmarks. I agree with my mom that it shudnt be my main concern but there are still days when i look at my belly and feel bad about it. Today is one of those days coz i noticed that my stretchmarks had gotten much darker compared to the last couple of weeks, i thought they only get darker after giving birth? why is mine getting darker right now?.. hopefully one of you who is reading this has the same skin tone as me.

Along with the whole stretchmark issue its almost my due date (3/17/2010) and i still dont have signs… i get cramping feelings once in a while, but i dont have contractions.. etc. .. my EDD is soo close yet it feels like i’ll be pregnant forever!… i wanna see signs that ill give birth soon… at least exactly on my due date or a day or 2 after due date. my husbands in the army so im really hoping that by the time he comes home for his paternity leave our baby will come out… the army is only giving him 15 days! … he’ll be comin home on march 15. I am freaking out at the fact that we dont reli know when ill be having the baby…. thus making me feel worst coz i really want my hubby around during delivery!… aaaaaaaahhhhh

Anyhow ill be posting again after i give birth. as of now here are some pics.

first four pics are my pre-pregnancy body.
next two is my pregnanct belly at 6 months, with no stretch marks!
next two is me at 36.5 weeks

the rest are stretchmark photos:
first 2 stretchmark pics were taken on my 34th week. i oiled it up for the pic so i can see the stretchmarks clearly. my right side is worst than my left
next 3 stretchmark pics were taken on my 35th week. no oil
the last pics were taken on my 37th week. as you can see they got darker! is that normal??? i thought it only gets dark after delivery :( caucasians are soo lucky coz their stretchmarks look better.

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15 Responses to “I’m a Bowl of Mixed Nuts! (April)”

  1. Xtal Says:
    March 14th, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    I think our bellies are the last thing guys care about, they are interested in something below our bellies. As long as you do your kegals, you’ll keep your man interested ;)

  2. Jess Says:
    March 14th, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    I’m caucasian (and about as fair as they get)
    I’m 9 months PP &&my stretchmarks are still as vividly red as they were when I got them

    It varies by person, yours might go away really quickly

  3. Anonymous Says:
    March 14th, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    I can relate to you, I had a baby young and I felt I lost my body and still trying to accept it and love it for the beautiful life it created. Its not so much an issue of being vain but wanting your old self back, to me it feels like part of my youth was taken away with the massive changes in my body.

    To answer your question. Its actually normal for you to be past your delivery date if this is your first child. I was 1 week past my due date so I know how you feel wanting it to be over. I use to take warm baths twice a day after my due date hoping it would relax me and maybe motivate baby, but she was on her own time. Trust your body, all in due time. You are almost there, just hang in there a bit more. About your comment on stretch marks, I am hispanic but caucasian and trust me honey it isn’t that much better for us. I was fine until about 1 month and a half before my due date and then the baby must have had a growth spur because I literally got tons of deep purple stretch marks similar to yours overnight.. Around my belly button, it looked liked a sunburst and below it was like I got mauled by a cat. You cant see them clearly in my first entry: http://theshapeofamother.com/blog/2-years-postpartum-and-still-cant-come-to-terms-anonymous/

    But hopefully you will get a better look at them soon in my second entry which is pending posting.Stretch marks never go away completely, they just fade with time so they will be less noticeable eventually. For now, focus on the birth and having your husband by your side.

  4. Sheila Says:
    March 14th, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    I didn’t have any pre-labor signs either. I was 4 days overdue and only started having contractions the night that I went into labor. They started and stayed ~5 minutes apart until a couple hours before he was born. It just goes to show that not everyone has Braxton-Hicks!

    As for stretch marks, I think they are at least partly hormone related. There are a lot of changing hormones in those last few weeks. I didn’t get any during my pregnancy but got plenty of them when I hit puberty. I’m very fair skinned caucasian… mine started as dark purple radiating lines on my breasts and stripes on my sides that eventually faded to silvery. I’m sure yours will fade with time too. It doesn’t look like you have too many either. I bet they will be barely noticeable given enough time.

    Try not to be too critical of yourself in the first few pp months… it takes time for your body to return to normal. I’m 8 months pp now and although I’m back to my starting weight, my body is not quite what it used to be. I love my slightly softer, more womanly shape though :) Be confident in yourself and love yourself… it goes a long way towards others loving you too. You are a beautiful girl! If your husband is ever insane enough to want an unrealistic ideal, love yourself enough to find someone who boosts you confidence and doesn’t bring you down. He may surprise you though, my husband loves my pp body :)

  5. courtney Says:
    March 14th, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Let me tell you something. You are BEAUTIFUL. Before, during and you will most certainly be beautiful afterwards. If your main fear is that your husband will leave you, being pregnant will not be the thing to change that. No matter what if you think that you can’t keep him because of the shape of your body after bearing his children then you are deserving of SO much more. You need someone to love you through every stage of your life not just some, because you will look AMAZING no matter what. :)

    I am a young mother too, I got pregnant at 19 and have a beautiful 4 month old boy and had the same fears about my boyfriend. But I soon learned that they had no basis and he did in fact love me with stretch marks and a flabby belly. :) He still thinks I look good, and most likely so will your husband.

    Plus you have a rockin body and I bet you will bounce right back!

  6. Judith Says:
    March 14th, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Your mum may say she did not worry about her body, but we are all differnt and young women today want to be the best they can and don’t want to sacrifice their bodies for their babies. They can have both – but bodies after pregnancy will not be the same, they will be just as beautiful, but softer, more mature and will take time to recover. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, eat healthily, exercise and let nature do the rest. You will recover but don’t get strung up over a few stretch marks or soft flesh. It shows you are a mum now, be proud of it.

  7. Colleen Says:
    March 14th, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    Your stretchmarks don’t really look that bad at all! And believe me, they fade A LOT…I’m 7 months post partum, and I have to look for mine some days. And chances are your mom DID worry about her stretchmarks, she’s just come to accept them over time. Don’t let her make you feel bad, because I have yet to meet one woman who wasn’t at least somewhat dismayed when those first marks appeared.

    And as a side note, I’ve seen plenty of caucasian women on this site whose stretch marks are MUCH worse than yours–big, think, DEEP purple marks, so they don’t necessarily always have it better!

  8. Samantha Says:
    March 14th, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    Congrats soon-to-be mommy!!! First off let me tell you that you have an adorable baby bump, stretchies and all! :) And stretchmarks will fade with time. You should go get a massage or go do something relaxing one day before baby arrives, as you seem really stressed out. Good Luck and I look forward to your next post!

  9. Annie Says:
    March 15th, 2010 at 10:16 am

    First of all, you’re Gorgeous! Even then and now. Cheer up girl :)

    For your mom I think she is trying to comfort you. I know that young girls are so worried about how they will look after they give birth.All kind of issues like weight problem, strech marks or sagging breasts. They’re afraid they might not look beautiful in their husband’s eyes anymore.

    Trust me your husband will love you even more because you’ve gone through those hard time.He should love you because you’re a great wife and wonderful mom! My husband says I’m still beautiful even my boobs are sagging and belly is flabby.
    I have a darker skin like you and with both of my pregnancies, I had stretch marks that look just like yours too! Dont worry, they will fade over time.Now my youngest son is 14 mos and I cant really see those marks unless I look at my belly real close. I’m not worried about them at all.

    Dont get stressed out.Try to be happy.It’s normal for first mommy-to-be to have over due. You’re going to bring the most precious gift into this world. Just relax now and try to catch sleep while you still can :)

  10. Amber Says:
    March 16th, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    Well, being very caucasian, I have to tell ya…my stretchmarks got darker and darker through the pregnancy until they were dark purple. The thing is, they will fade after pregnancy, and I’m pretty sure yours will too, over time, slowly, just as they came. And honestly, once you have 1, you might as well have many…so don’t stress, in time, they will be much less noticeable and you’ll feel better about them!!! :)

  11. Nicole Says:
    March 26th, 2010 at 7:59 am

    Hello Gorgeous!, Usually i just peek around the site.. but your story sounds EXACTLY like mine every detail. My worry’s thoughts blah! and your belly and stretchies look exactly like mine.. i am now 9 weeks PP and they have faded an amazing amount! I have photo’s of my belly now if you are interested in seeing them, our beauty marks are in the same places. I’m learning to love them and they are only getting better everyday i notice a change. Don’t get down on yourself i did it ALOT while i was pregnant and now that my little angel is here i wish i wouldn’t have cried so much about it and enjoyed my pregnancy more because once i seen her she is so much better then my pre-preg bod! You are GORGEOUS and don’t ever think anything other than that! If you want to get in touch my email is nicolenkuz@hotmail.com

  12. Ria Says:
    March 28th, 2010 at 4:57 am

    Hi there! I am asian (Filipino) and I am currently 28 weeks pregnant. I saw my first stretch marks two days ago and I have been crying every night just like you.

    My mom says exactly the same things as you, and I also think she does not understand.

    I worry also about my husband thinking I am a whale, and I worry that I will never wear a bikini again. My husband is gorgeous, and i worry that he will look for a younger pretty girl because I feel so ugly now. But that is really just me being paranoid (you know how crazy preggo women can get), because my hubby really loves me and I have faith in him being loyal to me.

    I was thinking, you are lucky you saw your first stretch marks so late. I saw mine at 27 weeks!

    AND – you will like this part – our stretch marks look EXACTLY the same! Just the same spots (left and right of the belly button, lower belly) and they look the same COLOR!

    So I hope you feel better, because you and I are going through similar things. I live in the Philippines and you must be so far away. Your post has made me feel better too.

    Yes, hopefully one day we will love our bodies again.

    Good luck with your pregnancy, you’re at the finish line!

    Much love, Ria

  13. Samantha Says:
    March 28th, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    i totally get how you feel. i thought i wasnt going to get stretch marks but at the very last weeks of being pregnant,they all appeared on my stomach and sides and i was sooo upset. but ive been doing these massages on my stomach that i found online and its been working, slowly but they arent as bad as before. the website is http://www.stretchmarkcure.com . but yeah at the end with everything youve expierienced with the pregnancy, your gonna end up with wonderful baby. hope everything turn up great and god bless you and your family.
    love,
    samantha

  14. Joy Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:33 am

    Well, that’s a really big problem after birth your stretch marks stating to come up. There are lots of natural remedies in the market to cure you stretch marks.

  15. Maurice98 Says:
    January 23rd, 2011 at 11:14 am

    I can relate to you,you’re not going crazy its just the hormonal imbalance of a pregnant woman syndrome…yeah right,you might have heard that but when I was pregnant I haven’t got those stretch marks that you have,I don’t brush my tummy though i just rub my palm on it to talk to my kid inside,but never fear those stretch marks are your gift for being a mother.Congratulations and welcome to the club.
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