I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared, nervous, and excited all at the same time. Ive never been the thinnest girl walking around, but I didn’t realize how nice my body was, until after I became pregnant. I had an easy pregnancy for the most part. I traveled a lot, to and from Australia where my boyfriend was from. He ended up leaving me when i was 32 weeks pregnant and I had to move back to Canada. My body went through hell and back after he left me. I kept losing weight because I was so depressed and my doctors started to worry about me. I gained all together about 30lbs even though near the end I lost some. I got stretch marks starting at 4 months. No matter what I tried, and how many times a day I put it on, they kept coming. I hated it. My son was born a healthy 6lbs 13oz on November 22, 2008. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and all my worries and stress just floated away the second I saw his face. Being a single mother is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I’m sure Its going to be a struggle everyday for years to come. But when I see my son smile, it takes away all those fears, on that day, that I may have. Everyday when I see the stretch marks, and saggy skin on my belly and my uneven saggy breasts from nursing, I hate myself a little bit more. I wish I could have appreciated my old body, before becoming pregnant. I’m trying to see the beauty in the stretch marks, and the fact I grew an amazing son inside of me for 9 months, but it is hard. I try to tell myself that I am still good looking but the truth is, I cannot stand to look at my self in the mirror most days. I haven’t had a chance to start going to the gym, I don’t have the time. Between trying to take care of him and myself and our busy life, there just isn’t time to fit in a work out. One day, I hope Ill love my body again. Until then, Ill just do what I know I can do best, and that is raise my son to be a loving, caring man.
My age – 20
Number of pregnancies and births – 1
I am 4.5 months postpartum