I have a gorgeous 16 month old son. I am 21, myself. I feel terrible about my body. I don’t feel like the same person, I literally look at pictures of myself before giving birth and think to myself how I miss that very faraway strange person. it never leaves my mind. If I am alone and undistracted to long I think of ending it all. Its not just my saggy breasts, my watermelon striped jelly belly but my new vagina. Its horrific. I never queefed before. I feel like a bug could crawl up there. Sex is exponentially less good, sometimes painful. The doc says im normal. I had no tearing. The “normal” part makes me feel so much worse like I’m supposed to accept it, and as if everyone else already has accepted for me the fact I am a mom now and nothing else, much less someone who should care about sex or have good sex. I never had given mom sexuality much thought, especialy with so many celebrity births but now I feel like “Oh duh! being a mom is the precursor to being old! to having a not tight pussy! to no longer being first choice!” I feel all used up. I thought when people say stuff like “Oh you look great for having kids” they meant oh you lost weight. So what? who cares about weight when you have puckered, sagging, marked up skin, floppy breasts and a weird looking loose pussy?! I feel violated and robbed in ways I didn’t know were possible.
Id really like to thank you for creating this website I was thinking of doing something similar but not as positve when I ran across Shape of a Mother. I am in therapy for PPD. Rx drugs seem to numb me at best. Looking through your site has been my first flicker of real hope and break from intense aloneness and feelings of worthlessness. I know I have a looong way to go and am still looking into LVR and cosmetic procedures but the world seems allot less foreboding now. I saw other women saying the same thing I was thinking upon finding The Shape of a Mother, Id never feel so negative towards another woman in my position.