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I Hate My Belly (Anonymous)

September 19, 2011

I stumbled across this website by luck. I was trying to search the internet for any type of helpful suggestions on how to “fix” my post baby belly and came across an article that mentioned this website. I’m 24 years old and just had my second baby 8 weeks ago. I have a son who is almost 3 years old.

I gained 50 pounds with my first pregnancy and 27 with my second. Before having children I weighed 125 lbs. Ever since I had my son I have been so hard on myself and the way my stomach looks. I hate it. I can never bring myself to take tops off in front of my husband. He says it doesn’t bother him, but I know he is just telling me that to not hurt my feelings. I feel like he is unattracted to me now. To top it off, one of my good friends who was pregnant the same time I was, her stomach looks just the same as it was pre-pregnancy which makes me beat myself up over how bad mine looks even more!

I feel like I’m always going to be unhappy about my body, I wish I could have a more positive outlook on it. Reading other articles on here has really made me feel like I’m not alone and has giving me some comfort so thank you.

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16 Responses to “I Hate My Belly (Anonymous)”

  1. amber Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 8:01 am

    TIP — it REALLY doesnt bother your man. and you look great, you just had a baby! give it time, healthy eating and muscle toning.. check out my posts, blessed and tortured, your tummy looks just like mine did when i first had my son, it is DEF not perfect but its a vast improvment from where i was.

  2. Lissa Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 9:25 am

    well who says you have to show your stomach to you husband anyways, boo!! I know a woman who had 4 kids, yes 4! and her stomach is flat and toned and i hate her!!!lol but she is a skinny tall thing and i only had one child and well me and you are practically belly twins…dont feel bad, it happens, i bet your still pretty!

  3. Jan Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 10:06 am

    Your stomach may look different than before, but it is beautiful because it is where your precious babies were nourished and grown for nine months. I often feel down on myself because after breastfeeding, my breasts loss a lot of mass, but all I have to do is look at my daughters adorable chubby cheeks… and then I feel like the trade off was more than fair! Keep reading other Mom’s stories on this website, it really does lift your spirits!
    Also… if your newest baby is only two months old, give it some more time!

  4. Corinne Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 10:37 am

    Your belly is lovely and for 8 weeks pp looking pretty damn good, if this site shows you anything it’s to not compare yourself to others. Much love, I hope sharing helps you to feel better about your belly. By the way, believe your husband, he loves you for who you are and what you’ve done, ALL of you, not just the non-squidgy bits.

  5. Stacy Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    I think your belly is beautiful! It looks like a star! You must recreate your perception and idea of beauty. Be easy with yourself.

  6. Amy Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    Hi, Am only suggesting this as you mentioned that you wanted to try and improve the look of your tummy. Mine had a few wrinkles on top too (to a lesser degree)and was wrinkly when i bent over, and over the years it has markedly improved, I believe mainly due to fat loss (not weight loss). When I changed my body composition by losing fat and gaining muscle my skin tightened a fair bit. It’s not perfect, but its as if the compromised skin around the navel is held tighter by the better skin around it which has lost fat. It was hard and took about two and a half years- doing weights, eating a VERY clean diet- whole foods, good fats, heaps of greens, no added sugar etc, but it is achievable. Even though it took a long time, I noticed results in months. There is no quick fix to my knowledge, and i researched it A LOT. I can empathize with you re: your husband- i felt the same. Ultimately, looks alone aren’t everything (you do look good though btw!) and i think sometimes we overestimate their importance to men- in my experience men often find confident and gracious women who are sure of themselves very attractive.

  7. jen Says:
    September 19th, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    i hate mine too. everybody’s all: “you carried a baby! be proud!” i am proud. and i’d be just as proud without my crazy tummy skin flappage. you go mama.

  8. Lala Says:
    September 20th, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    There is always surgery if you really hate it. Sometimes surgery is necessary and good for your self esteem. try to work it off with an aggressive exercise regime, concentrating on your abs (developing them and toning them) Also cut all fat from your daily food intake.

    It’s all peachy to tell someone who hates their belly/breasts that they should be proud of pushing a baby out (as do millions of women around the world on a daily basis) but that really doesn’t do much for their self esteem. Being proud doesn’t take the wrinkles away nor does it magically make you shine in a bikini.

    Being proud of yourself is great but to take your belly from the state its in now requires HARD work. Sign up with a personal trainer or join a gym and watch your diet and you’ll succeed

    Good Luck!

    <3

  9. Amy Says:
    September 21st, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Re: Lala
    It it not only impossible to cut ALL fat from your daily food intake, it is also undesirable. The proper kind and amount of dietary fat is necessary for optimal body functioning. It helps create of feeling of satisfaction, helps keep our hair and skin soft and shiny, and is required in order to metabolize fat-soluble nutrients. So while watching fat intake is important for weight maintenance and achieving a lean look, the key is limiting fat intake, not eliminating it entirely, and making sure the fats you do eat are the mostly unsaturated variety — liquid oils, nuts, avocados, etc.

  10. ANGW Says:
    September 22nd, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    Okay, I had to comment on this belly of yours and give you a pep talk. This belly has personality and I know you cannot see it, but it looks good and over time will look more satisfying to you. I also wanted to mention to you and other moms that we live with this flat, if not flat, stretch mark fee belly for years of our lives; 30 for me. So, it takes time to get used to seeing your new body. And the sooner you can accept that this is your new body, the sooner you can have peace and move forward in being healthy and taking care of yourself. I’m two years postpartum with my second child and I’m just starting to come to terms with my changing body. Have peace, friend.

  11. Nina Says:
    September 25th, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    Oh hon, please please don’t beat yourself up! Don’t compare yourself to your friend. That just makes things worse.

    It’s only been eight weeks! That’s nothing! Seriously, after I had my daughter four years ago and I looked at my deflated belly I nearly cried a RIVER! But then time went on and it started to look better.

    My tummy will never look how it did before, unless I just get a tuck…but darn I sure do have a beautiful little girl to show for it.

    I’m sure your babies are just as gorgeous as you are.

    xoxo-Nina

  12. dwf Says:
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    To all above saying diet and exercise will.get rid of this: bull. It is a genetic “gift” that can only be fixed with surgery. Embrace it or find a surgeon, but do not kill yourself trying to do sit-ups to get rid of it. It you are like me, you probably also have a severe diastisis…. sit-ups will actually hurt you rather than help. See a doctor. You might be entiltled to insurance covered abdominoplasty. I am. And because of how physically limited I am because of this, I am taking it. I could live with the skin, but an underlying medical condition? No way. It is causing me much pain and it has led to hip, neck, back and shoulder problems. There is help. You just have to ask for it.

  13. Shannon Says:
    September 28th, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    My stomach looks just like that ever since I had my son 8 years ago… I now have three children and have lost all the baby weight but my belly still looks the same :( I am sorry you are unhappy with your body, I know how you feel… but it makes me feel better that I am not the only one who is going through the same thing.

  14. Diana Says:
    October 5th, 2011 at 1:51 am

    Hey!!!
    I Have the same feelings, I just got my second baby and after the first one my belly was also looking bad, it was 10 years ago. During the last 10 year I could accept my body. But now after the second baby and my belly looking worse I do not know how to accept it again. I know it takes time, it has been just 4 weeks since my little girl, but everytime I look at the mirrow and I see my belly I feel so bad, so depresive. Why me? I see other woman with 3 or even 5 children and they do not have a single mark. Maybe genetic or just luck, bad luck.

    I have to say I feel better because in this page I see I am not the only one. But it makes it difficult too. I feel better telling it to others that understand why I feel.

    A lot of time we need to accept ourself, that all I think. I am lucky to have someone who does not care about that things. And that is also important.

  15. Beth Says:
    October 20th, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Oh PLEASE dont listen to the people who are stating it’s genetics and you will need surgery! Yes, some things are genetic like cellulite, stretchmarks, spider veins but a post-partum belly? come on people. It is true it may not go back to the way it was before you kiddo but you can absolutely improve it! I am proof! I gave birth a year ago and gained 60lbs! I lost the weight pretty rapidly therefore I did have loose skin. I still have some but with the right diet and exercise I have improved the look of my tummy. You just need the right tools and guidance. If you want me to help you I would love to! http://www.bringontheburnwithbeth.com

  16. Marcy Says:
    October 9th, 2013 at 8:18 am

    I hear you!!!
    I hate mine.
    My husband loves me, but,…society says,…flat tummy women are beautiful and sexy.
    So anyone can say, “feel good for you’ “love thyself”,….. but in the end our men have been taught to see thin women as beautiful. We, women, have been sabotaged.

    My husband tries to make me feel better.But when he sees a thin woman with a pretty face he notices, I can see it in his eyes.

    I have ALL the tools. I KNOW what I need to do. I am just fed up and too frustrated to continue the workout routine. Ran for 3 weeks, 5km a day, ate a healthy 2000 cal diet,…….NO change.

    So,… I feel your pain. :-)

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