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I Feel Like They Can’t Be Fixed (Adria)

20 (age)
Pregnancies (1)
8 months post partum by cesarean.

When i first became pregnant, during my first trimester i lost 20 pounds. Than the rest of my pregnancy i only gained 10 pounds. After i delivered i then lost 25 more. This is what alot of people would call “bouncing back” and yes in some ways i did. Two weeks after delivery i could fit back into my pre pregnancy clothing. 3 months after delivery though i developed a condition called body dysmorphic disorder, it took over my life to the piont of suicide. At around the same piont my husband wanted to leave because he couldnt understand why i felt so horrible about myself, he got tired of trying to help but with no results. Ne never left though he stuck by my side and continued to try, much to my appreciation. If it wernt for him i wouldnt be here to write this post today. I went to counciling and i am no where near as down as i was thankfully. With exersize i got some of my old form back. The only thing hindering me from total and complete love for my self again is my breasts, they make me sick. To rememeber what they used to be and what they are now is dissapionting. I weigh 118 pounds now, i think im ok with the rest of my body now. I still have my days i just hope one day that i can accept the changes my son did to my body and any future children as well. Included is a picture of my handsom son, hes keeping me going :)

Updated here.

in Belly, Body Dysmorphic Disroder, Body Image, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update

26 comments… add one

  • Nicole Friday, July 12, 2013, 8:29 am

    You are beautiful!!! I would do anything to have your boobs!! And your little boy is just as cute as could be.. I know none of this will help how you look at yourself but girl your body is rockin!!! And what do I owe you? Why would I lie? I have no reason to get on here and fib so please believe me when I say your body is amazing!!!!

  • Colleen Friday, July 12, 2013, 10:17 am

    Honey, did you know that women PAY to have boobs that large on a tiny little frame like yours?! And yours have the added bonus of not obviously being fake. Gorgeous :)

    Your breasts are very similar to mine. I’m a 34H, and nursing my second child–they’re definitely lower than the used to be. It’s rough sometimes but I tell myself that breasts this large aren’t MEANT to stay high and perky…gravity is a bitch sometimes :) Even if I never had kids they’d sag over time. But with an awesome bra (and I mean go get fitted at a good quality lingerie store, because you’re probably a “full-fit” size that can’t be found in normal stores), you can rock out those glorious breasts of yours. You can’t believe the difference that a properly fitting bra can make. I dragged a friend in to get fitted once and she went from 36D to 32F–and was so excited about how she looked in the 32F that she spent double what she intended to and walked out of the store in one of her new bras, and never looked back. Your breasts are beautiful, so please pamper them a little bit :)

  • Jeri Friday, July 12, 2013, 11:06 am

    It may or may not help your body dysmorphia if we tell you how wonderful you look, but you truly are beautiful. I am quite thin as well but have NO breasts left since I quit nursing. I wish I had something left… a handful even lol! What I have learned is we as women and mothers can’t win – if we’re full figured we’re hard on ourselves, if we’re thin we’re hard on ourselves, if we have small boobs we’re hard on ourselves, and if we have big boobs we’re hard on ourselves too. What is beautiful is that our bodies, regardless of their shape or size, have created and sustained life! It truly is amazing, and I hope you can celebrate the magic of it despite your painful struggle with your body image.

  • Ellen Friday, July 12, 2013, 11:19 am

    This is a place to be honest. I think that you are beautiful but I know how you feel. My breasts are very similar (and I can’t even nurse, so that really made me depressed.) I have 3 children (3yrs old, stillborn May2012, and I am 15 weeks pregnant now). My breasts grew so fast with my first that I started sagging at 4 months and I still do. I CAN NOT go with out a bra, even to bed.

    From one woman to another, if you are so uncomfortable with the way you look, Dr.s can “fix” your breasts. (I completely support loving your body the way it is, but if you don’t love it then get it to a point where you can.) I know that when I am finished having kids I am getting mine lifted and reduced to make me feel better about myself.

    Sagging boobs are a small price to pay for beautiful, healthy babies. Hang in there. You are beautiful!

  • Marcy Friday, July 12, 2013, 11:37 am

    Girl you are crazy! I would kill to have a body like yours! And you are only 8 months post pregnancy.


    Not sure of your stance on this, but you should post some photos on flickr and get some confidence back with users feedback.

  • shannon Friday, July 12, 2013, 1:00 pm

    First of all you look excellent.

    I know you said “I hope one day I can accept the changes my son made to my body…”. I just want to tell you that nursing (if you do nurse) is not the cause of a change in breasts. It is pregnancy in general. All women who have children experience breast changes. Even if you chose to never have children, your breasts would eventually change! This is a normal part of life.

    Again, you look excellent.

  • Rhiannon Friday, July 12, 2013, 1:32 pm

    I wish my breasts looked like that! Your body is banging, baby or not.

  • Steph Friday, July 12, 2013, 1:46 pm

    You look great. I agree with Colleen. You can train your breast tissue to be more perky with the right bra. You need to go to a lingerie store and I’m not talking about Vickie’s or Fredericks. You need to spend some money on a bra and it is you get what you pay for. I went to a specialty place that dealt alot with mastectomy and such ans they were great and very helpful. It made a huge difference.

    Everyones body changes when they have a kid. So please don’t think your the only one. I am 41 and if I wear the right bra mine look much better. I got measured and was wearing the totally wrong size bra. I was wearing a 38c and was a 34DDD. I stood up straighter when I got the right bra.

  • Sarah Friday, July 12, 2013, 7:28 pm

    I’d love to look like you. You have an insanely great figure!!! Flat tummy, perky large breasts. Lucky!

  • Stephanie Saturday, July 13, 2013, 11:13 am

    Oh sweetheart. You are a beautiful creation from God. And your breasts are gorgeous! When your husband tells you that he finds you attractive he MEANS it. So glad you are fighting. Fighting for healing, fighting for your marriage, fighting for your family, and fighting for your life! Please give yourself some credit. My body looks nowhere near as beautiful as yours, and I’m praying you can believe it!!!

  • Carolyn Saturday, July 13, 2013, 11:28 am

    You look great, I wish I had looked like that 8 months after giving birth.

  • Kitkat Saturday, July 13, 2013, 5:39 pm

    Your bodylooks great u have no strech marks u dont look like a road map it chould be worse

  • cynth Tuesday, July 16, 2013, 12:29 am

    omg dear you look beautiful!!!! these looks like pre pregnancy photos to me! your boobs are perfect and your skin look so supple and soft! not saying anything to make you feel better but very honest opinions. :)

  • Persy Tuesday, July 16, 2013, 1:04 pm

    When I saw the photos of your breasts, I recognised them right away! They are mine too! Like you, I had large breasts that sat pertly on the top of my chest prior to pregnancy, which drooped to where they have been ever since. The first few years I made myself very unhappy mourning the loss of my pre-pregnancy body (which really ticked all the boxes for ‘sexy’ in our culture – tiny waist, large, pert breasts, flat stomach, round bottom etc.). It’s now nearly nine years since my last child was born and I have made peace with my body at long last (aged 37) and I just want to say ‘try not to be unhappy – change is a part of life and is ‘different’, not worse. Your breasts are beautiful – they are the breasts of a mother, not the breasts of a teenager and they are fabulous. I wasted so many years being unhappy about changes that I could not effect, believing that I had ‘lost’ something valuable, when in fact what I eventually gained was freedom from body shame, and the joy of having a lovely body that reflects the age I am and the experiences I have had, and that is fit and strong and has (for example) recently taken up karate, and has let me learn roller skating for the first time ever! I embrace my transition from ‘maiden’ to ‘matron’ and hope that you will soon come to too.

  • Rianon Wednesday, July 17, 2013, 3:05 am

    Your boobs are amazing!!! This isn’t me trying to make you feel better- they really are beautiful! Your body reminds me of mine and I remember how awful I use to feel about myself until after the birth of my second child and then I realized how sad it is that women feel this way about themselves and that if someone didn’t like my body who the f*ck were they to me anyways! I’m glad you got counseling and it sounds like you are on the right path!

  • Marissa Wednesday, July 17, 2013, 9:40 am

    How ironic, that you like your breasts least! Before I read your words, I thought, she has beautiful breasts. I would be very proud of them.

  • Skye Friday, August 2, 2013, 2:41 pm

    You. Are. GORGEOUS. And I think your breasts are ahhhhmazing.

  • Elle Wednesday, August 7, 2013, 5:23 pm

    Fixed?! They’re perfect. I couldn’t imagine better breasts with “bisexual” horny fantasies if I tried.

    This is still the same disorder you mentioned, I’d bet, because I mean it 100%. While there is, to me, a range to “perfect,” yours are there right at the top.

    Like others said, they’re similar to mine, too (but bigger-looking in most of those pictures). But they WERE like that at 19 when they “grew in,” and still are maybe somewhere around 10 years later. Cough, jk, fewer years, cough, lying, shhh.. ;-) I gained weight at 19 and was thrilled to finally “have” breasts.

    They’re not necessarily mom boobs (I’m not one) or un-teen boobs, like I wrote above. They’re just great boobs.

  • JSki Friday, August 23, 2013, 8:24 pm

    It’s normal to have down days about how you feel about yourself. Dress up extra nice on those days. You’ll get compliments and feel better.

    And remember! People the world over have literally worshipped breasts like yours for millenia. You are a goddess.

  • Tom Friday, August 30, 2013, 5:13 pm

    Your breasts are so perfect that it’s difficult to even decide what to say first, but I’ll try. 1) It’s amazing that such big breasts can be so perky. 2) You have a gorgeous figure, all over, for anyone, with or without kids! 3) Since you probably don’t believe me, please try two things: A) Sit at your computer with your husband and search “Google” images for ” movie stars big breasts” and take a look at what you two see, and trust what hubby says. I say you are in that movie star category and I bet he will too!. B) Look at the photos at the wonderful breastfeeding-friendly website http://www.007b.com and see the beautiful diversity of real breasts. The web-mistress has some wonderful articles too, on breastfeeding, body image, bras, and health. And a word about that word “perky”: I rarely use it. It is so irrelevant to most men, regardless of what some people might think. To most men virtually all breasts are beautiful. It’s like eye color to us. I’ve never heard a man who refuses to date women with brown or blue or green, etc eyes. Breasts are pretty much the same way. AND, just like some people have a slight! preference for, say, brown eyes or blue eyes, some men have a slight!, just slight preference for softer and saggier breasts. A simple Google or Tumblr search will prove that. But my main comment is “trust your husband’s opinion. He looks at you every day. Of course your opinion counts too. But anyone but the most egotistical person is their own worst critic, and you certainly are your worst critic. However, that can change, and when it does there will be at least two people in your house who know how gorgeous you are.

  • Dana Monday, September 9, 2013, 1:16 pm

    Your breasts and stomach are beautiful. They are so symmetrical and have a very nice natural look to them. I know what it is like to be large breasted and to know that at one time how perky they were!!

  • karen Wednesday, November 13, 2013, 6:44 am

    You look great.

    I looked similar to you before I even had children, when I was still a teenager. Not even all teenagers have perfect perky breasts and no one has ever complained. Large breasts don’t stay perky but they look great in a good bra!

  • Jen Wednesday, December 11, 2013, 1:52 am

    Your body looks similar to mine and I haven’t had children. I recommend going for a fitting at a nice lingerie store, like Nordstrom lingerie department. Most women wear the wrong size bra, and when you have large boobs on a small frame, the right size and style of bra makes a huge difference.

    You look great and I’m sure men would agree, I’ve never had any complaints.

  • Sarah Tuesday, December 31, 2013, 2:44 pm

    I have a figure very similar to yours…and I haven’t even Had children! My boobs – I notice more and more they don’t sit like they used to, there’s a wee droop. I just want to tell you for a woman who has gone through pregnancy and birth you look flawless and amazing! I can only hope I look as good after my own children.

  • Bill Monday, February 3, 2014, 5:37 pm

    you are beautiful.

  • Nor Wednesday, February 5, 2014, 1:25 am

    Feel free to compare to other post-pregnant moms. Or women who have never been pregnant. You have superb breasts by any measure. It’s possible some of that body dysmorphia is still hanging around – I hope some of these pics can help…

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