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I am just starting to like myself ever. (Alice)

April 22, 2011

24 years old. 2 pregnancies 1 live birth 1 abortion
My daughter is 5 years old in 2 months. I am almost 5 years pp.

I got pregnant with my daughter a week before my 19th birthday. I was in love with a boy who was “out of my league” but it seemed he was interested in me. We were together for 8 months before we got pregnant. Before that I was constantly trying to keep his attention any way I knew how, but he would flirt and cheat and it made me hate myself and my body.

I am 4’11″ and pre-pregnancy I weighed 130 pounds. It was the thinnest I had ever been and I was struggling to be skinny for my boyfriend after being overweight my entire life. I gained 55 pounds during my pregnancy and hated myself every minute for it. After I had my daughter I worked quickly to lose all the weight I had gained but my boyfriend turned husband left me for a 90 pound girl 3 years my junior. I hated myself even more. I then promised myself that I would lose all the weight plus some to show how beautiful I was. After 3 years I decided I was losing weight for the wrong reason and I needed to love myself before anyone else could love me. I changed my diet and lifestyle and I wanted to be healthy rather than skinny. When I started getting my confidence back and stopped looking for love in the wrong places I found my now fiance. He told me he loved me no matter what I looked like! Stretch marks and all! I am proud to say that I am down to a healthy (not starved) 107 pounds. We will be trying to have another baby after we are married and this time I will stay healthy and happy for my baby.

picture 1: 8 months pregnant
picture 2: 1 month pp
picture 3: 4 years pp
picture 4: 4.7 years pp still stretch marked but feeling better about me

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5 Responses to “I am just starting to like myself ever. (Alice)”

  1. Jenny W Says:
    April 22nd, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    You look great! And it’s sad we feel less than we should because of a stupid boy, lol, but luckily you found an awesome mad. Congrats on the fiance and baby!

  2. Marz Says:
    April 22nd, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    what an amazing journey you’ve had! :D it’s a grea disovery when you realize the body you’ve always held angst toward is finally something you appreciate. congrats on finding a happy life!

  3. Kasey Says:
    April 23rd, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    OMG you are SO pretty! Not only do you have a great body but your face is stunning!

  4. L Says:
    April 24th, 2011 at 8:01 am

    You look awesome!! congrats on your new life with your fiance. Best wishes for second baby and happy you found happiness!

  5. Sarah P. Says:
    April 26th, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    I’m so glad you found that you shouldn’t have to be skinny for another person – especially a man or someone who ought to love you unconditionally. You’re a beautiful woman. You’re beautiful at 107 lbs and you’re beautiful at 185 lbs. Congratulations on your engagement, your baby and your new family! :D

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