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He Tells Me I’m Sexy (Jenn)

July 20, 2009

I’ve been a larger girl since I was around 16-17 years old, after a knee injury that left me in an immobilizer for 6 months. Following that transformation of my body, I had a hard time regaining self esteem. Still, even though I was heavy, I still had a great body… beautiful, smooth skin, sexy thighs. I was comfortable with myself, even if I saw room for improvement. Following the birth of my daughter 5 years ago by Cesarean section, I was met with this entirely new wall of self-doubt and body image issues. Still, I was so proud of my body for sustaining her life and breastfeeding her, that I still allowed myself to see the light. When she was 20 months old, I found out I had ovarian cancer, and had to have one of my ovaries as well as massive amounts of tumors removed. It was during this time in my life that my husband asked me for a divorce. I successfully fought ovarian cancer on my own while raising our almost 2-year old daughter. I went back to college to get my degree, and my body was starting to look great. Then I got pregnant with my son. I didn’t gain much weight when I was pregnant with him, but I seemed to gain it while I was nursing him! :-O I found out about 10 months into his life that my cancer had returned and I was in for a helluva battle. Once again, I AM BETTER THAN CANCER. So, now I find myself.. 2 years postpartum, and I’m back to being disgusted with my body. I should be more dedicated to working out, but I’m just not. I beat myself up about it a lot, but keep telling myself that when it really matters, I’ll find the willpower.

However, I’ve just recently fallen in love. His name is Adam, and he’s incredible. And you know what? Despite my protests, he thinks I’m SEXY. Me! The girl with the scars and the lumps and the stretch marks and the low self esteem! He convinced me to take a picture of my stomach, which was a HUGE leap outside my comfort zone, and well — here it is. When I see women with magazine-ready bodies, I think –boy they must’ve worked hard to look that way. But you know what? I WORKED MY ASS OFF to look this way! I went through multiple pregnancies, a few births, and breastfed for almost 4 years combined. And every scar on my body is a reminder of something that helped make me the woman that I am today. The c-section scar along my bikini line? Two of the most gorgeous faces ever appeared to the world the first time because of that scar. The long vertical one that runs from my belly button to my pubic bone? That’s a daily reminder that when faced with cancer and life situations that sometimes made me just want to crawl under the covers and never come out, *I* WON! ME! JENN! IT WASN’T STRONGER THAN ME!

It’s been a long process, but I’m starting to believe him. :)

~Your Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 7 Pregnancies, 2 Live Births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 years postpartum

072009-jenn-1

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22 Responses to “He Tells Me I’m Sexy (Jenn)”

  1. GGB Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 10:37 am

    You’re a strong brave woman!!!! You look great! Congratulations on your new boyfriend, he’s the one for you!!!!!

  2. Kayla Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 10:41 am

    You are SEXY! You’ve been through hell and back and look how great you look! You should be proud of what you’ve done!

  3. Angèle Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 11:03 am

    OMG!! Hun you are sexy! Your stomach is perfectly fine!!!! Seriously!! You can wear a bikini with that body!! You are a strong woman! :)

  4. Molly Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    What an amazing story! I think you look great! <3 Thank you for sharing!

  5. Healthnut mama Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    What an incredible story! You are such an amazingly strong person! You are so beautiful inside and out and youre kids and your man are so blessed to have you. This story hits home, as my mom is fighting the battle against ovarian cancer. It just goes to show that your attitude can conquer anything. Thank you for sharing your story and your picture, which shows nothing less than a REAL woman! God bless you and your family :)

  6. Robyn Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Wow, what an amazing person you are. No wonder your man thinks you are beautiful -it shines right out through your words and your picture.
    xx

  7. heather Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    You are great, and you are sexy. I’m happy for you that you have survived all the bad things in life. As for the magazine ready women, it’s all thanks to the air brush !!!! And photoshop. :)

  8. apricotmuffins Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    I love your words. Especially the part about working your ass off to look that way, because its so unbelievably true.

    Im glad you’re beginning to believe your man, because thats also unbelievably true. ;)

  9. postpartum 21 and 25 yrs Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    You ARE sexy. Sex appeal comes from the inside. He can see that with your clothes on. Your breasts look beautiful, you have a waist and have earned a few battle scars along the way. He sees those and loves you for who they have made you. Air brushed bodies are boring, but real bodies show all that we have been through to be the person we are now. Let him love you just as you are.

  10. Jo Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    You are my body double. We look like twins. I too have the vertical scar (although mine goes above the belly button too) and the c-section scar. I think you look sexy so perhaps I do too!

    You have incredible strength and courage and your children have such an amazing mother and role mode to guide them through life.

    Not only do you look beautiful but you are beautiful inside.

    PS I like your lingerie – you’ve inspired me to buy something pretty too :)

  11. lksmama Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    wow – you are an inspiration. you brought tears to my eyes. strong doesn’t begin to describe your post. and hello? you look FANTASTIC. i have to tell you, i would have thought you were beautiful no matter what your picture looked like, because of your spirit. however, when i saw your photo i thought, holy crap! i can’t believe she looks that great after everything she’s been through!

    Sexy, is a state of mind. I’ve had numerous guys/boyfriends say the sexiest women they know may not be physically perfect, but the way they carry themselves, and love themselves, makes them sexy – and that some physically perfect women are not sexy, because of their attitudes. You will probably be sexy when you’re 60, if your attitude remains as strong then as it is now :)

  12. Sandra Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    Yeah Mama! You are beautiful!!!! I look a lot like you, only my scar runs from the bottom of my ribcage to my pubic bone. I didn’t have a c-section, but I always joke that if I did, I’d have an anchor on my belly :) You are beautiful, with a wonderful attitude to match! Congrats on beating the beast!

  13. Bridget Says:
    July 21st, 2009 at 9:56 am

    You are awesome! I love your outlook on life. Great job kicking Cancer’s ass! You are beautiful.

  14. Kelley Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Wow!! Your story is so touching. I am about 85 lbs more than I’d like thanks to 2 pregnancies. I have said the same, “When it matters, I’ll do it.” You’ve made me realize that everyday is worth it.

    Best of luck to you, your boyfriend, and beautiful body (inside AND out!).

  15. cmom Says:
    July 23rd, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    Your story is quite inspiring. Please remember that what YOU think of yourself is more important than what someone else thinks.

  16. Sarah Says:
    July 24th, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    You ARE sexy!!! Hot mama!!!! I wish I could wear a bra like that!

  17. Dan Says:
    July 26th, 2009 at 7:10 am

    Adam is right, your sexier than any magazine model ive ever seen and your the real deal,
    just remember.

    hot moms rock

  18. donna Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    your a brave lady.. admiration is indeed due your way.. good luck with your new man:)

  19. Jody Says:
    November 21st, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    You look just like me!! I have that exact same scar, and loads of lumps and bumps, stretch marks. I nearly lost my life too, due to complications caused by severe pre-eclamsia at 26 weeks gestation. My husband keeps telling me how beautiful I am but I find it hard to believe. I’ve been feeling absolutely crap about my body and horrid. I look at you and and I think you look great. Really lovely. We really are too hard on ourselves aren’t we, its such a waste of energy and life to beat ourselves up so much. We are loved, lovable and full of life!!!

    You go girl!!

  20. beckie Says:
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    You are beautiful.

  21. Jen Says:
    March 9th, 2010 at 6:18 am

    If only I could look so good…

  22. Louellen Says:
    August 29th, 2011 at 7:28 am

    wow lady! I cannot believe you went through all that! I am so proud of you!

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