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Good Bye Low-Rise Jeans… Hello “Mom Jeans” (Colleen)

January 29, 2008

this is probably one of the hardest things i have ever done. i mean, i really wanted to contribute to the website since it helped me so much during my pregnancy. just putting these pictures up, i was insecure before, but now i feel that my body is so misshapen now that it really doesn’t matter anymore. from one extreme to another. i just hope someone is looking at my pictures like i did during my pregnancy… hoping for the best for their bodies. i found out i was pregnant for the first time 2 weeks after my boyfriend of 7 years and i broke up. optimum timing. obviously this was quite a shock to me, and he’s been in denial ever since. it has taken me a long time to accept the pregnancy… and i’ve had a baby for 5 months! it’s just not something you get over quickly. you don’t get over having your entire life’s meaning and course change so abruptly very easily. i mean, there are days when i wake up and just want to go somewhere, or do something… and i forget, oh yeah, i can’t. being a single parent is one of the strangest experiences. you would think that in this day and age after how many teen/young/single mothers pop up… the world would get used to it? no. the world is not built for us yet. YET being the prime word. i’m also new at this mono-parenting so i know there are a lot more challenges facing me that i have yet to realize. i mean, once you try to go to the bathroom by yourself and figure out that is now an impossibility… that’s when you know your life has changed. i’m trying to get back on track. i can no longer be a musical theatre major as i was before “babyocalypse”, but i am going back to school, and trying to get a sensible degree to get a real-live job. i am also trying to work on a book for the single mother. since the only ones i could find while pregnant were mainly for divorcees or teen mothers. getting used to my body has been a challenge… getting used to my LIFE has been a challenge… body is secondary. i mean, before i got pregnant i was on a diet of mainly caffeine pills and rainbows. i was trying to lose weight desperately and then i plumped way up. and now i’m just a saggy sack of puddin waiting to become a jolly old lady. i am the perfect jolly old lady size… except i’m 21. so yeah. this is probably a step in the right direction for body image. one small step for flub, one giant leap for stretchmarks everywhere. but that’s enough about me. i had a little girl by c-section (unwanted, unneeded… i had pre-eclampsia and was induced and it was all downhill from there. anyone else have a catheter balloon in their cervix? fun, isn’t it?)on august 16, 2007 she was 6lb 10oz and is almost 5 mo. now and being a baby, you know how it is… living is tough stuff. her father sees her about twice a month for a couple of hours. it’s weird but whatever. his loss. her name is margaret evelyn and she poops a lot. my pictures are pretty much just stretchmark heaven. i tried to show also what happens to tattoos when they get invaded by stretchmarks. it’s not pretty let me tell you.

*website:* the_moaner_lisa.livejournal.com easy way to contact me, especially with any single mother tips and comments for research :)









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38 Responses to “Good Bye Low-Rise Jeans… Hello “Mom Jeans” (Colleen)”

  1. Shiny Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    I love your writing style, and enjoy your honesty. Also your baby, ridiculously cute… good luck with it all!

  2. eh Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    finally someone who isn’t sugar-coating it.

  3. tasha Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    Hey! have you done ADMIL’s on livejournal? let me know because that baby looks familiar :]

  4. i-dra Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    you’re absolutely right – his loss. she’s a dollbaby. enjoy her like she enjoys you.

  5. Megan Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 10:41 pm

    the way you just wrote that was incredible, its like you took the words right out of my mouth and wrote them so beautifully, i am in a very much the same almost ironic situation as you. my daughter is almost 9 months old, her middle name is actually Margaret too and also she was born by C section. I know the feeling on how there is alot written out there for teen and widowed mums and its quite frustrating. I am 21, and often wondering “so this is what if feels like to be a single mum?” everytime i get sick and have to drag myself out of bed fever or no fever or when she’s asleep at night and its just me myself and i. It is strange and at times it can be incredibly lonely but at the same you and your daughter share a bond between the two of you that is so close and special and she will look up to you one day and be greatful for having such a wonderful mum, Your not alone girl, i am just like you in this world i walk in your shoes everyday-maybe different life but similiar experiences. I think that your body is beautiful, you have womanly curves and stretch marks are the most natural thing they will fade, Dont be ashamed at times and dont let that self depreciating little devil on your shoulder tell you your this or that about your body, be proud that your body brought you the most wonderful gift anyone could ask for- your very *own* child- even if it means you have to nurture her on your own.

    Love megan xoxox

  6. Regina Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 11:13 pm

    OMG!! your daughter is so adorable!!! i can;t even stand it!! what a cutie!!!

  7. shi Says:
    January 29th, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    OH MY, your daughter is the prettiest little girl I have EVER seen!!! When her pic popped up I just couldn’t believe how gorgeous she is!

    I love you honesty with the way you feel, and I think you look great. Its only been 5 months and the marks will fade a lot.

    Thanks for sharing your true emotions.

  8. Susana Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 2:01 am

    Those eyes of your baby should make up for it! WHAT A BEAUTY! I actually had a friend in a similar condition, now she is 30, baby is 8 yrs. It happens, and you get the hang of it, of everything, and you enjoy while at it. Time passed so fast that now that the baby is a growing girl she regrets not enjoying the baby because she was busy figuring it all out. Good Advice: plenty of nice girlfriends who can take care of the baby frequently so you can have some time for yourself. Best of lucks

  9. catherine Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 4:56 am

    Your writing has such a lovely feel to it..write that book it will be a bestseller!!

  10. Lisa Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 6:31 am

    Hang in there! I can’t speak from experience but I have faith that you’ll get by the rough part (the first year is the hardest) and will become a stronger and better Mommy because of it all. Besides, look at the beautiful little peanut that is in your life! She’s ‘rockin’ that Bumbo seat!!

  11. Anon Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 6:54 am

    What a lovely baby girl! I hope you can find joy in her and in being her mother. And that you have some kind of community of family and/or friends to support you in the complex combination of life AND single parenthood. Best wishes!

  12. nex0s Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 8:13 am

    This is the first time I’ve commented and I am not yet a mother – though I hope to be someday.

    It’s just your daughter is so gorgeous and bright and I just had to say that her picture brightened my day. She looks mixed racial to me. Is she?

    I am mixed myself. My mother got pregnant with me in the 1970s, and my father left the marriage when I was 4 months old. My mother did a great job, and I can see you will too :)

    Her body looked a lot like yours as I was growing up, and I thought she was the most beautiful person in the world. My stepfather did too :)

    Good luck with everything. And cherish your little girl!

  13. Lindsey Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 10:54 am

    I’m curious about the claim that you can’t be a musical-theatre major now that you’ve had a baby. If you’ve got the skill and the determination, why can’t you? I mean, it’s great that you’re being realistic and saying that you’ll need a steady job to support your (adorable) daughter, but to blame the post-baby body for hindering your success seems like a cop out. If there is one thing I’ve learned in my studies –I’m a fourth-year Drama major– it’s that your body is a tool, and any actor who does not believe their body is an asset and a gift is not going to have a convincing presence onstage, no matter how talented you are.

    I don’t think you’re misshapen. I think your body is beautiful and womanly. Maybe you don’t look like you used to, or dance like you used to, or feel like you used to, but there is always room for beautiful and strong women onstage, and don’t let the skinny theaterbitches convince you otherwise.

  14. Rose Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    I was also a single mother (at age 19) and it was so, so hard. I am married now with 3 more kids and I wouldn’t change what I have for the world, BUT I still love looking back on the time my daughter and I spent alone. It was so hard and so wonderful at the same time.

    In the blink of an eye, your little girl will be a big girl, and you will wonder where the time went. You will think “Gee, that wasn’t so hard after all” and you might even get a ridiculous notion to have another child. (I didn’t want ANY kids, and here I am with 3 girls and another one cookin’!)

    Honestly, it goes so fast. It seems slow and dragging when you are living it but I swear to you it will be literally a blink of an eye and she will be starting school and you will cry and not know what to do with your newfound free time.

    Love her and enjoy her in her infancy because it goes all too quickly. You will lose the weight, your stretchmarks will fade, but the memories of you and your baby girl alone together will be cherished for a lifetime.

  15. Helen Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    Great writing, great pics. You said you were a drama major- you could turn your ideas into a one-woman show! You have a lovely goddess-shaped body, and I think you’re a hottie! :) Don’t worry too much about the stretch marks- mine were bright purple and have faded away to shiny white.

  16. Brendy Vaughn Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    When I was in art school we used to make little clay goddess to set on the kiln in hopes that they would protect the kilns contents during it’s 10-14 hour firing. Your shape reminds me of the figures I used to make. Very motherly and nurturing.

  17. Tanya Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    Your daughter is gorgeous!

    I can totally relate to the shock of being pregnant unexpectedly. My son is 2.5, and there are still times when I look at him and can’t really believe that I have a child! I still haven’t fully accepted the fact that I got pregnant!! It’s just so surreal sometimes….

  18. colleen (OP) Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    tasha: yes i do ditl/adiml’s almost every week :)

    catherine: lol, i hope so! i need to start writing!

    nex0s: yes, she is… she’s like 8 shades darker than my white butt! she’s cape verdean and… white. :)

    thanks everyone, this has been quite a challenge (though not as challenging as finding a pair of jeans that fits right post-partum!) ;-D

  19. Laurie Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    I didn’t have a c-section with my son, but my body, my stomach and my stretch marks are pretty identical to yours. we could be “twins.”

  20. daisymae Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    You’re little girl is adorable! She looks like a sweetheart and you’re her best friend!!! Enjoy it!

  21. Ella Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    your daughter looks so beautiful! I bet you stay up at night just watching her sleep! I don’t pretend to know exactly what you are going through, but in a way I am a single mom too – my husband works away from home 3 weeks straight at a time. It seems like he comes home just in time to get me pregnant :) I think that’s awesome that you are writing a book for single mom’s – good for you!

  22. Adrienne Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    OMG! YOU are my body double!!! Very bizarre.

  23. Sarah Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    You are a beautiful mother. You need to give yourself more credit. Your child is gorgeous by the way! What a blessing!

  24. Robin Says:
    January 31st, 2008 at 7:11 am

    I hated that catheter. Same thing happened to me, although my son was a week late. Your daughter is amazingly gorgeous. And you have so much courage to do everything on your own. Much kudos for that. Give that little girl a big squish from me and my little ones, she deserves everything the world has to offer her. Good luck with your book.

  25. happy mama Says:
    January 31st, 2008 at 10:35 am

    “Her name is Margaret Evelyn and she poops a lot.”

    lmao!!!! Love it!

    She is beautiful. Your pictures of yourself remind me of the fertility goddesses they drew/carved in the days before media. Just think – 200 years ago you would have been likened to a goddess! Today’s standards are so out of whack with nature/reality.

    You (and everyone here) should do a google image search on “fertility goddess” – it’s rather refreshing!!!!!

  26. happy mama Says:
    January 31st, 2008 at 10:40 am

    Oh, one thing I forgot to mention – though I am not a single mother, your daughter and I have many similarities – my mom also found out she was preggo with me after my dad had left her already. I turned out just fine, and love my mom all the more now that I have children of my own. She is the bravest, strongest woman I know. You’re going to do wonderfully, and you will be a pillar of strength in your daughter’s life.

  27. colleen (OP) Says:
    January 31st, 2008 at 10:21 pm

    Lindsey: it’s just the “selfish” nature of the first couple of years on the job. the auditions, the ‘starving artist’ lifestyle… when i was an apprentice i worked almost 18 hour days… there is just no way i could do any of that now. my shape isn’t/wasn’t really the problem, it’s the… lifestyle :(

    Ella: nah, i sleep when she sleeps… most of the time. OR clean lol. :) now all i need to do is figure out how to start/what to start writing about!

    Robin: you are the only other person i’ve heard of that had the balloon-thingie also. whoever thought that was a good idea… should get one. i bet it was a man.

  28. Lindsay Says:
    February 1st, 2008 at 10:07 am

    First let me say that I can totally relate to where you are coming from. Im 22 I had my first baby with my boyfriend of about 4 years at that time when I was 19 he is now 3. I just had my second boy on Jan 15/08 he is 2 weeks old. Both my boys have the same father and life was great until I was about 6 months preg with my second and my bf decided he wanted to move away from all our family and give up his full time, full benefits amazing job to become partners with one of his buddies in an internet web design business. Needless to say I did not agree and we broke up and left all of us to pursue his own dreams. He saw his 2nd son for 5 mins after he was born and hasnt seen him since. So I am now a single mother of a 3 year old and a 2week old its hard but I have tons of support and the only advice I can give you is that life goes on and you have to do everything for yourself and your daughter now. It sounds selfish in a way but when you become a single mother you just have to keep on going no matter how hard it is and just know that one day things will be better.

    Lindsay

  29. Lacey Says:
    February 1st, 2008 at 8:00 pm

    Your baby is so beautiful.

  30. nidea Says:
    February 3rd, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    I love your stretch marks! They are beautiful.

    Margaret is cute too! Thank you so much for sharing your pictures.

  31. Bex Says:
    February 4th, 2008 at 7:49 am

    My body is identical to yours! My belly and boobs are just the same!

    I am 24 and have 7 months old twins. You are braver than me to post on here and i think that is great!
    If you write a book, it would be fab as your writing is so interesting!
    You are doing such a great job on your own, my twins and I have just been sick and I had my partner and i got my mum round to help! I don’t know how you do it!
    P.S I have a tattoo aswell and you can’t even recognise it now! (and i had pre-eclampsia and a cather! Yippee!)

  32. Bobbie Says:
    February 9th, 2008 at 8:25 am

    Listen…..I have stretch marks that actually bled during my last few weeks of pregnancy. They are still here, still wide, long, etc. It did, and sometimes still bothers me, becuase my sister only got a few, adn they are really small….only like a faded cat scratch or something. Also, hers are below her belly button, just above her pubic bone area…hardly nothing! So when I got mine…I cried! I have them WAY up above my belly button, down my thighs, around my waist, by butt, and my boobs! My sister gained 70 pounds, I gained 38! Go figure!! Anyway…it took MANY years, and a new husband to realize…my stretch marks, like yours…are war wounds. You git the best thing in your life out of them! They are beautiful! OWN IT GIRL!

  33. LINDA Says:
    April 9th, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER, AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE. TAKE CARE OF YOUR LITTLE ANGEL.

  34. Brittany Says:
    April 27th, 2008 at 6:56 am

    When I saw the fifth picture I thought I was looking at a photo of myself. I am also 21 years old. My son is nearly 21 months old now and I would still give anything to flatten the lower part of my stomach; I can’t stand the way it looks in pants.

  35. rosalind Says:
    January 25th, 2009 at 2:49 am

    its is all very tru wat u are sayen but god blessed u wit a beautiful little girl (she is so pretty)and she is guna b ur strength. the world is a cruel place we jus have 2 learn 2 walk thru bad patches wit closed ears at times. god bless u and ur baby.

  36. Steve Says:
    August 5th, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    I’m embarrased for the “male” population that thinks they can just “get it and go”. Where are the morals of the indiviuduals that enjoyed the night at conception but failed to come through when mom’s poor body took a beating for bringing life into this world. Just remember….it’s a body…holy and acceptable to God. He loves you and he cares for you. I am so proud of the way you are handling this. Once again…as a male I’m embarrassed.

  37. Shannon Says:
    August 11th, 2009 at 12:20 am

    well said !

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    September 5th, 2012 at 6:11 am

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