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Getting Used to Me (Ashley)

2 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage long ago, 1 C-section birth
10 months PP, still breastfeeding
Age: 26

I always wanted to be a mother. I never expected to be a single mother. I had been dating my child’s father for only about a month when I found out I was pregnant. I considered abortion and adoption, but decided that keeping my son was the best thing for me. His father wasn’t much a part of my pregnancy, and so far, he’s not much a part of our lives still. However, my baby is absolutely beautiful. He’s by far and away the best thing that ever happened to me! Every day is now for him, and I wouldn’t change a single part of it, stretch marks and all.

He was a stubborn little fella- decided to join this world 13 days past due. (I wasn’t willing to be induced.) After only dilating to a 6, my cervix actually started to swell shut from the pressure, and I ended up having a C after 21 hours of labor.

I’m still coming to terms with my new body. Pre baby, I was 151 lbs. These days, the scale says 157 lbs, but my shape and my clothes say no way! Everything is different. I went from a size 10 to a size 13. My breasts were a perfect 34D, and now I’m a 36F as a nursing mother. I’ve just started making the effort to get back into shape (this week actually!) but am concerned my tummy will never be the same. My sister has had 3 children (with the exact same gene pool) and her tummy is flat, smooth and seamless. I’ve heard that muscles can separate, and will never return without surgical intervention. I consider it sometimes. However, I’ll see where my fitness plan takes me, and how comfortable I get with my body when I start reaching my goals (not to mention that as a full time mom and student, there’s no way I could afford it.)

Most days, I think I look pretty damn good, especially while clothed. Some days are harder than others. Everest loves to snuggle up in all my body-warmness, and when I really think about it, that’s all that matters.

This is us: (pics)

in Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions

11 comments… add one

  • jen Thursday, September 2, 2010, 9:13 am

    i love the name everest! he’s pretty darn adorable!! and you have a great attitude, good luck with your goals!!

  • taiyo Thursday, September 2, 2010, 9:54 am

    You are inspiring. Thanks for your story. You look great.

  • sarah Thursday, September 2, 2010, 9:56 am

    Can I have your boobs???

  • Emily Thursday, September 2, 2010, 10:57 am

    I love the name Everest! And he is so beautiful!! And so are you! A huge pat on the back for breastfeeding to 10 months and beyond, especially as a single mother. You are awesome.

  • Kerry Thursday, September 2, 2010, 12:01 pm

    You do look good! Its nice to hear you think so. Your body may never be the same, but it can change a lot with exercise. I actually met a girl on SOAM and we are now internet work out buddies! Its great to have someone to talk to when you are down in the dumps and who motivates you and vice versa. You sound like a strong woman! Your son is very cute :)

  • Amy Thursday, September 2, 2010, 9:03 pm

    Hey- you look great and just thought you might like to know, it is a myth that you can’t get your muscles back together (for most women anyway)- i had a nine pounder and had a 5 cm muscle separation and i got them back- google julie tupler who wrote ‘lose your mummy tummy’- it’s not for the undisciplined, but if you want to fix the separation, it is possible!

  • Susie Thursday, September 2, 2010, 11:28 pm

    You look amazing! What a hero to go it alone- it’s so hard to be a parent even when you have a partner to help so doing it as a single parent is an amazing undertaking. What a great outlook you have!

  • Amy Friday, September 3, 2010, 5:40 pm

    Thanks for sharing! You look great! I am 8 months PP, still breastfeeding and my body is similar to yours~funny how we are always harder on ourselves than on others…

  • badgermama Sunday, September 5, 2010, 11:41 am

    Your belly is beautiful and so is your baby! you look so radiant…

  • Mariah Monday, September 6, 2010, 7:53 pm

    10 months and still nursing; that’s awesome!!! :)

    I am 19 months PP and still nursing: it takes a lot to shed off that “milk fat” (I call it that; it’s not a technical term). It’s so hard to breastfeed and wonder to ourselves “why aren’t I losing more weight?!”

    You are beautiful, and so it your son! It’s hard to go at it alone, but you find that in time, it’s all totally do-able!!

    When you get to a place in your life where you can take some walks 2 or 3 times a day, and work up a little sweat doing it, try it! (unless you do already!). I did, and I am still BF’ing, and I was able to shed some more pounds. It’s not many, but it was something and it was JUST the boost I needed.

    I wish you the best!! Being a single mom is the hardest job in the world, but you’ll be able to tackle it, no problem!

  • Mariah Monday, September 6, 2010, 7:53 pm

    Also; you have beautiful breasts. :)

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