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From Hot to Not – Update (Anonymous)

January 29, 2010

Your Age: 21
Number of pregnancies and births: 1

Original entry here.

I posted a few months ago when I was 11 weeks PP. My son is now 7 months (32 weeks PP). I still look the same which is incredibly depressing, I did drop from 150 to 145 but I’m kind of stuck there. I can only exercise about 3 times a week because so I’m busy. I need to make it more of a priority to exercise but it’s just so difficult to find the time.

It’s so hard to see girls who are my age who have never had children and their body’s are amazing; no stretch marks, no cellulite, nothing. They have flawless smooth stomachs.. I used to to look that way and it’s just so hard to accept reality. I would be so happy with my body if I didn’t have stretch marks. They hold me back.. I think I would be so motivated to work out and exercise if they weren’t there but I know that they’re there and I’ll never show my stomach.. so what’s the point of slimming down?

I don’t feel attractive at all. I feel ugly. As a young and single mom, I feel like no guy (that I want) will ever want to be with me. I’m damaged goods now. I can’t look at my stretch marks and think of them as “badges of honor” or “battle scars” I look at them and see ugly marks that represent carelessness and laziness. I should have exercised and ate better while I was pregnant. But I didn’t and they remind me daily. I see tons of young mothers who have had babies and didn’t get a single mark and they’re 100% back to normal…walking around in bikinis totally care-free. I hate the way I look and I think it will be a constant uphill battle with the way I feel about myself.

These pictures don’t do my stretch marks justice.

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30 Responses to “From Hot to Not – Update (Anonymous)”

  1. lacee Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    I SO know how you feel! I had my first baby at 21 and my belly button looks a lot like yours. It has taken time. Almost five years for me to come to terms with it. I don’t focus on it anymore. Just workout and be the best you can. Even if you never wear a bikini again… so what? There are so many cute tankinis out there. Just focus on your positive parts. You WILL find a man that loves YOU for who you are and how you look. You still look really good! {Hugs}

  2. Brittany Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    My stomach looked exactly like yours just after having my 1st. It was really hard on me because I always had this great tight little tummy without even trying. Around the time my son turned 18 months it finally started to tighten up again [but I didn't exercise much so yours will probably look better!]. Just give yourself some time. You look great. As for the stretch marks I have this sunflower looking ring around my belly button, & this great zebra print thing going on on my tush. And over time, those too have become much less noticeable. Patience.

  3. Bryana Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    Be a little easier on yourself!
    Whether you were to excercise mroe while pregnant and eat a little healthier, would not have prevented stretch marks. Maybe you wouldn’t have as many, or maybe they would be the same. No one knows and you can’t turn back the clock. Your body did what it had to do to allow your child to grow in you; which means stretch marks. Not everyone gets them, and the lucky few that don’t are really damn lucky.
    If I looked like you did, I would be praising the sky! I am 22 and can’t even count my stretch marks. I have had 2 children, but my second child, born 7 months ago, didn’t change my body at all. It is still the same as it was with my first, who is 4 1/2 now. I am on here some where, it was posted in January.
    But I think you need to be easier on yourself, you are beautiful, and your body is amazing! :)

  4. TracyKM Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    You’re damaged goods because you created life?! Sweetheart, trust me, you DON’T want a man who’d care more about your looks than what’s inside. If a man wants you because of how you look, you DON’T want him!!!
    You don’t need to find time to exercise (I’d LOVE to have your belly!). Just learn about babywearing and get a wrap or a mei tai and put your child on your back. Keep your abs tucked in, chin high, and go about living. It’s a great non-workout exercise that lets you spend time with your baby doing things that need to be done. You can wear your baby every evening for an hour while you make a healthy dinner. You’ll both be happy :)

  5. Renee Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    I know exactly how u feel! I’m 23 and have just had a baby myself – 8 weeks postpartum! I had a lovely figure and now I’m ruined! As much as I adore my perfect little boy, I disgustg myself! I like you can’t even bare to touch my belly – it’s awful! But looking at your pics you’ve got nothing to worry about! Your figures gorgeous! In comparison to mine you perfect! Don’t give yourself a hard time (I say this considering my own body image, but in comparison to me you really really have nothing to worry about)!

  6. sady Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    i think you look hot, seriously, nothing more to it

  7. Denise Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    You are being extremely hard yourself but I understand where you are coming from if you see something you want and can’t figure out how to get it or get there.
    Try to be kind to yourself. Your body has done an amazing thing for you.

  8. mari Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    your stomach looks almost identical to mine! i had a bellybutton piercing i removed and the scar was stretched and now droops with stretch marks coming out of it. I think you have a wonderful shape, actually. Your stretch marks aren’t that prominent. There is something I’ve been doing that is the only thing that has helped me regain elasticity and reduction in my stretch marks and that’s something called “msm lotion” and i also take the msm powder everyday. My stretch marks have faded greatly as msm helps builds collagen from the inside, out.

  9. Lauren Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    I feel you…I’m really down right now. 6 months pp, I’m back to my prepreg weight, but I can grab handfuls of fat around my waist that weren’t there before… I guess it gets better? GL – I’m struggling too – just wanted to let you know I understand!

  10. Amy Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    I don’t know if this will be helpful or not, but i had the same lines above my belly button and as i lost fat and gained muscle (the gaining muscle part is crucial, but don’t do sit-ups!) the skin tightened and the lines went away (when i stand up, when i bend over they are still there). Whether you show your stomach again in public is up to you, but i think more regular exercise would make you feel better because you will feel like you have more control. So many of us know how you feel- if it’s any consolation i remember speaking to a friend who only gained 20 pounds during her pregnancy and i gained close to 50. I constantly berated myself for the stretchmarks i got, thinking that if i had only gained 20 pounds like my friend then i wouldn’t have got them (i ate healthily and worked out during my pregnancy too by the way, our bodies just do what they need in order to have a healthy baby)- but then i saw this friend in a swimsuit the other day and she has heaps of stretchmarks!!! so it’s not just a matter of how much weight you gained, it’s genetic and a whole bunch of other factors. whatever you do, you must stop comparing yourself to girls who haven’t had kids- being jealous of other mothers is one thing, but being jealous of someone who hasn’t had a kid is like comparing apples and oranges!! i wish you the best.

  11. Christie Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    I didn’t look as good as you BEFORE having my daughter! I think you look amazing, and any man who wouldn’t adore your body is mental and doesn’t deserve to be with a fabulous mother anyway ((hug))

  12. Nina Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    Just so you know, some moms do everything right…eating, exercising, etc and still get stretch marks. Sometimes things like that are just not fair. I personally think you have a beautiful post-momma body and feel confident that there will be a man in your life who thinks so too! Hang in there! It does get easier!

  13. Elissa Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    That is so not true…I didn’t really get stretch marks and I am at my prepregnancy weight but my body is in no way the same as it was before…My friend got stretch marks just like you did and her belly button was like yours…She did P90x and it tightened her tummy up a lot and she wears two pieces…I can hardly tell anymore…Just try it…Try something because it WILL make you feel better…Lots of good men exist and you will find one that will laugh at your silly worries about your tummy and your body…My husband has flaws that he hates that I adore…As I have ones he loves and adores. Things that bother you do not really bother other people…Some men are butt men, others are boob men, others like stomachs or legs…DO NOT WORRY yourself over the little things…Be confident on the inside and it will reflect on the outside. I promise you you are not used goods or spent…I even feel this way and people tell me how well I’ve bounced back…I think it has something to do with having little time for yourself and not being able to take care of yourself like you use to without a baby. I get ready once or twice a week if that and I feel unattractive sometimes. You look great and someone will fall in love with you for you not your stomach…You gave life…Those other girls you see didn’t…They have no clue and you know what, those girls more than likely will end up in the same boat we are all in…It’s apart of life we are meant to go through it. Be proud!

  14. Sarah Says:
    January 30th, 2010 at 1:23 am

    So you can pinch your tummy? LOOK HOW FLAT AND TONED YOU ARE! I’m extremely jealous here. My goodness! I’m happy with my body, but I can guarantee you I have smaller breasts, more stretch marks, and more cellulite. Look at all of the positive things. Stop holding a magnifying glass to your appearance, sweetie. Tell yourself to look at those things! You are gorgeous! Such a flat tummy!

    (I had my daughter at 22.) Be proud of who you are! You do look fantastic! AND HOT!

  15. Berni Says:
    January 30th, 2010 at 2:41 am

    You look great!

  16. Shealene Says:
    January 30th, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    You are only like 8 months pp…give it a couple years and your stretchamrks will barely be noticable! And you look great!!!!

  17. Lauren Says:
    January 30th, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    I know exactly how you feel. Your stomach looks like mine ALOT, my belly button looks identical lol!! It won’t be so bad after a while, you will get used to it AND it will get better as you exercise. After I had my second I asked my Dr what I should do, and she said find a good plastic surgeon(NO THANKS!). Almost 2 years later, I look way better, nothing like then. I have been working out a lot though. Dont be so hard on yourself. It’s really not your fault–genetics play a huge role. I gained so much less weight with my second pregnancy and exercised a TON, and I got WAY more stretch marks that time around.

    I hope you feel better soon about yourself. Any guy worth having will love you WITH your stretch marks :) Have fun with your baby, it goes by so fast you hardly realize whats happening till it’s gone. Hang in there!

  18. Alice Says:
    January 31st, 2010 at 8:22 am

    You’re beautiful in your skin, your tummy looks as if its on its wau back to normal, but you’re beautiful just the way you are.

  19. todoslavie Says:
    January 31st, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    I became pregnant at 20 like you. And I am now 39. I have had stretch marks since I was 21 after my son was born. I’m struggling with this image as well. I wonder if we all talk about it, that we would feel better about our bodies since it’s only natural that some of us get stretch marks, and some of us don’t. I, too envy those who don’t get any scarring. But I also find myself wondering if we need to find a way to cope with it than carry the burden with us as we have so much more years to do so. It sucks to see this put upon us. I find that if I work out I feel great but then I look in the frigging mirror and go, gee..what the heck. It doesn’t seem to match the way I feel every time I look at that. Do do?

  20. Nina Says:
    January 31st, 2010 at 8:51 pm

    wow, you are soooo down on yourself. you really need to cut yourself some slack. think about the good things you have going for you. I have a verrrrry similar looking tummy, (actually yours looks better than mine) and I don’t give a shit what people think! That’s the beauty of accepting yourself. You stop comparing yourself to people. You don’t covet other people’s lives. Yours is way more important because..hellooo it’s yours! It’s what God gave you, sista!
    I don’t go bouncing around in a bikini, but who gives a flying one? There are plenty of tankinis and 1 piece suits that are gorgeous.
    And really, from most of the men I’ve met in my life–unless they are shallow bastards–they don’t care about stuff like this. The good ones are just happy to have someone who cares about them.
    You look awesome. Your stomach is flat as a pancake! And I know you don’t see it yet, but you will one day. You’ll look back when you’re 50, and be like, “damn, what was i so worried about? i wasted so much freakin’ time looking at every single flaw…time was wasted.” And, girl, in this life, if this is the only one we get, in the grand scheme of things…this really should not be making you feel like it is.
    Get up, and get out there and live your life!!!

  21. nesha Says:
    January 31st, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    i’m the same age as you. and i my son is 1 yrs. old now. and honestly you look way better than me. i still look around 4-5 months pregnant except that my stomach is fat and not round with visible stretchmarks. but i also feel the same way that you do. ugly and that no guy is going to want me. i’m still with the baby daddy but i feel he doesn’t think i’m pretty anymore especially since i don’t have my pre=pregnancy bod back. i wish i could just wake up and have my body back but i know that won’t happen.

  22. komiya Says:
    January 31st, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    We are about the same age and both have 1 child and have the same attitude towards our bodies but u look great. I really think so. Ur belly isnt half bad! Id love to have ur stomach!!!!

  23. Polly Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 10:25 am

    You mustn’t hate yourself, nor believe for one minute that you could have prevented this by exercising more and eaten better when pregnant.

    This is exactly what happens to most of us when we have babies, and whilst some lucky few can return to a smooth pre-birth figure there are many, possibly the majority, of us stuck with being just how we are. If I had your figure I would be soooo happy. Compared with mine it is really great.

    I hope that you learn to love your body. Wear it with pride. And you will find that not everyone is shallow about appearance, and that there will be a guy who will love all of you. It is sad that we live in a society where some people put such high value on being slim and flat-stomached.

    Take care x

  24. Krystal Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    http://theshapeofamother.com/blog/7-months-pp-after-10lb-6oz-baby-krystal/
    Check out my post, its so much like yours! Before I say anymore let me just say that you still look great!
    I am now 21 and my son is 16 months old. I was 132lbs at 5’8 when I got pregnant and gained 60lbs with my son who was born by csection at 10lbs 6oz. I feel the same way as you do but looking at you makes me think maybe Im just being silly too because you really do you fantasic! Are perfect little bodies went through alot but they can only get better! Give it a few more years and I bet your skin will tighten back up really well!!

  25. Stephanie Says:
    February 2nd, 2010 at 4:26 am

    What a blessing to find this site and to see these pohotos! I am turning 36 this month; I had my first child at 31 and then 2 more since then (3 in 4 years). I only got stretch marks with the third. My belly button will never be the same…the scar from my piercing has stretched and it pokes out now. Trust me, exercising during pregnancy has NOTHING to do with stretch marks…I did NOTHING exercise-wise and didn’t have them till the third (my mom had 4 and has none)…it’s more to do with genetics and skin type.
    It bothers me when people talk about battle scars…as if, just because we’re moms, it doesn’t matter anymore if we feel attractive in our bodies. I used to bellydance and now I know I’ll never perform again unless I have something done to my bellybutton!
    However: I am careful to keep these thoughts to myself around my daughters. I want them to embrace the female form in all it’s shapes…

  26. Shay Says:
    February 2nd, 2010 at 7:10 am

    It gets better ladies. I am 37 and learning to love my new body after the birth of my beautiful baby girl almost two years ago. I too mourned the loss of my old body but have embraced this new post baby body that yielded this most incredible gift to me and the world. Motherhood and all of the changes is truly a journey and an evolution from one state to the next. It helps once you grasp that you are in a state of constant flux and change and things will never be the same so we shouldnt hold ourselves to outdated expectations on any level.

  27. helen Says:
    February 3rd, 2010 at 7:48 am

    I don’t see anything wrong with you X

  28. Christina Says:
    February 10th, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    Actually I must say I am 21, 4 months pp, and i have the exact same…well similar, tummy as you. I understand how you feel, I work out, and when i see mt stomache I cry. But you know what it’s like what all the girls on here say, so what?!
    Yes it sucks, but it is only skin. I bought the cutest one piece swimsuit, and actually feel sexier in that then when i had no stretch marks wearing a bikini. You have to be more confident in who you are, thats what men find attractive anyways!

  29. Ashley Says:
    February 12th, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    I know exactly how you feel hun. I’m 20 and I just had my first baby 12/24/09 and I’m just about eight weeks p.p. I was 145-150 before I got pregnant and I ballooned up to 216 by the time I gave birth. I, too, got horrid stretch marks and I am extremely self conscious of them. They make me feel like I’ll never be attractive enough ever again to my fiancee and I also beat myself up that I didn’t take better care of myself during pregnancy. I’ve lost 40lbs so far, though, and I have to keep reminding myself that it’s a big accomplishment. From seeing your pictures though, you seriously shouldn’t worry so much. Your stomach is FLAT and unless you’re a celebrity, 98% of women out there can pinch some of their belly. NO ONE is perfect and your body is hot!!!

  30. britney Says:
    March 3rd, 2010 at 12:14 am

    I understand what your saying but the feeling will only be temporary. I had my son at 16 so yeah stretch marks when no one else had kids lol. But I get over it because i didnt do anything wrong i worked out, put on lotions and drank water. Its all just hereditatry i guess. My mom had four kids however and has no stretchmarks on her stomach what so ever. You only get one life and its more important to worry about things that are less superficial just esteem yourself okay you look awesome so no more tears or picking yourself apart because of something that you mostly likely could not have changed. 80% of women get them.

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