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Fourth Pregnancy (Anonymous)

July 22, 2014

Hi,

I’m a 25 year old, 5 foot 4, 10 stone 11 pounds mom of 3 beautiful children. I had 4 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage. They are 5, 2 and six months old. They were all delivered vaginally. First two children were bottle fed and third is breastfed.

Breastfeeding is making it really hard to loose weight as my body is holding onto the fat as a store my doctor and nutritionist thinks! but I will continue to breastfeed until I return to work as I feel it’s the best nutrition for my baby.

I now hate my body. I recently found out that my fiancé was masterbating to online porn. This is due to a lack of sexual intercourse as I suffered from a prolapse during pregnancy, haemorrhaged 12 days post delivery and had a d&c due to retained placenta. I was also diagnosed with benign tumours in my womb after this ordeal too. So It made me feel super unsexy! Which lead to a sex famine of four times in 9 months!!!! I was devastated that he felt he had to do that and now I’m making more of an effort to have sexual intercourse.

I was a size 6/8 before children and now a 10/12 with droopy boobs and big arms and thighs! Were getting married next July and I really need to get in shape for myself, if not anyone else.

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28 Responses to “Fourth Pregnancy (Anonymous)”

  1. Lola Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 9:57 am

    We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. I would love to look like you. You have a beautiful body.

  2. Ashley Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 10:54 am

    So, there’s like so much I want to say about your submission but I can’t get it out because I’m too busy staring at your amazingly perfect body! Like, seriously. My post should be appearing any day now- I am 30, about the same height as you, have had 6 kids in 6 years, and weight a little over 9 stone (around 130ish pounds)…and I think your body is GORGEOUS!! Perfect proportions, fabulous curves, smooth skin. Be proud honey, seriously. And let me also tell you this: porn is not about you or your sex life. It’s about him. Men struggle with that who have great sex all the time- it’s just the pull of the ever changing fantasy of the whole thing and I don’t even want to dwell on it other than to remind you that ITS NOT ABOUT YOU! You look fabulous- you should let that take over your thoughts and not give in to any less!

  3. Tiffany Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 11:09 am

    You look beautiful! I feel like I’m looking at myself. I’m just a few inches taller but built exactly the same with three kids and a miscarriage. Keep your head up, sweetie ????

  4. Tiffany Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 11:10 am

    I meant !!! Not ???

  5. Shannon Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    You look amazing!!!! You do not look overweight at all. Your belly is perfect :) So sorry about your prolapse. I have a bladder prolapse…it’s no fun.

  6. danielle Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Hi! I just had my 4th. I had some questions but I think its to personal to ask knowing everyone will see….about the prolapse and things with your husband. I dont know how to quite explain when I found out I had prolapse. I cried and cried…) I hemoraged twice as well. Is there anyway we can email eachother? it would be awseome to talk about it. I hate this feeling of being alone in some cases cuz none of my family has ever gone through any of this. But to add an actual comment to ur post…lol. u look amazing!! you look healthy! truely beautiful!

  7. Leonie Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    seriously youre body is perfect. it dosent even look like you have had a baby.

  8. Francha Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    What?? three kids? OMG, you look amazing! I have only one and my belly is covered in saggy skin! at point that my belly button is disfigured…and im only 22 :( be proud of your body, you are sexy, hot!

  9. Brittany Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    What?! You look amazing!! I have been working my butt off exercising every single day and I am feeling so proud and I am not even close to looking like you yet!
    You had a baby only a few months ago, don’t be so hard on yourself!!

  10. Linda Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Your body still looks great! You have a nice shape and figure and can always get back to a smaller size with daily cardio (30mins per day)- Not that you need to because you look great now, but if that would give you more confidence, don’t let yourself believe its not achievable :)

    - You also have age on your side!

    Love yourself before anyone else can xx

  11. Katie Says:
    July 22nd, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    Your body looks similar to mine (or how I think mine looks) you’re only 2 ya younger than me and v we’ve had the same no. of pregnancies and children. I’ve had c-sections though so have a rather large scar than I should have due to an inept surgeon for my second birth. I hemorrhaged after my second bubba as well. Being a mummy is a hard slog. No one judges you as harshly as you judge yourself. No matter what you look like your children will always think you are the most beautiful mummy in the world and although it’s important you are happy with the way you look too it may take a mind adjustment rather than body changes cos you look wonderful!

  12. Gail Says:
    July 23rd, 2014 at 3:31 am

    Can I just say that you look amazing! After 3 children I dream of getting my body into a shape like yours. Be proud! xxx

  13. Kirsten Says:
    July 23rd, 2014 at 6:52 am

    I think you look beautiful! :) <3

  14. Jane Says:
    July 23rd, 2014 at 11:03 pm

    First off I want to start by saying that your look amazing for having 3 children. I am sure your fiancé will come around. It is normal for guys to masturbate to porn, so I wouldn’t get too upset over that. You have a beautiful body, I’m sure your fiancé appreciates the fact that you still shave your pubic hair. I know my husband goes crazy when I shave my pubic hair fully or in a landing strip. I would recommend making an effort to entice him sexually, maybe buy some sexy lingerie or leave a night for some romantic alone time. Best of luck!

  15. Fivesevennine Says:
    July 24th, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    I’m sorry you had such negative feelings about your body, but it is beautiful. I hope that with time you’re able to except this. There are a lot of good resources out there to help women learn how to love their bodies just as they are. There is a good chance that regardless of what you do to try to mold your body into something different that you still will not be happy. I hope for your sake and for the sake of your children you can look into these resources and learn how to love yourself so as to not spread body hatred to your kids. Again, you’re gorgeous.

  16. Sil Says:
    July 24th, 2014 at 7:36 pm

    I think you have a beautiful body! It looks firm and proportionate. The shape is very similar to mine, although I am currently a bit fatter than you. I have a 7 month old and my body was a mess after the c section. I already lost 35 pounds and I am on track to lose 45 more (I aim to be the leanest possible). I do pilates and everything is falling into place. You shouldn’t hate your body, it’s the only one you have and it gave you your 3 beautiful children. If you want to improve it, just work on it. And about your fiancée, well, a lot of men and women masturbate to porn. As long as he is supportive and treats you well, and his ‘hobby’ doesn’t become a problem, you shouldn’t think about it too much. Whatever you do, do it for yourself, but honestly you look femenine and attractive!

  17. Jasmine Says:
    July 25th, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Just wanted to leave a comment to say how incredibly jealous I am of your figure! It’s beautiful. I am heavily pregnant right now, and really hope I look like you after my baby. I understand how having all that happen to you and finding out about your partner watching porn is a bit of a knock to your confidence, and doesn’t exactly make you feel sexy. But honestly, you have such a sexy figure! Lovely feminine curves :)

  18. Ruth Says:
    July 25th, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Honestly – I was looking at the pictures before I read your text and I thought it was going to be another one about how proud one is to have gotten back in shape.

    I think you look absolutely beautiful!
    You’re not a bit too fat or big or saggy.
    And I’m sure your boyfriend loves you just the way you are.

    As for the porn thing. You’re not the first to experience this problem.
    It’s just … I don’t understand …
    People don’t masturbate because they don’t like their partner or because they don’t have sex as much as they want to. Masturbation is just one part of sexuality. That’s what I think.
    And people rarely watch porn for any of these reasons.
    I do watch porn sometimes. I expect grown up people (especially in a relationship) to know and appreciate the difference between porn and real life sex. Why not enjoy both? Never be jealous on porn.

    And you’re body has been through so much. Be proud of it. Work out to make you feel better but do it for you and nobody else.

    I genuinely think there are a lot things more important that to worry about what you look like just after having a baby.

  19. Alicia Says:
    July 25th, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    I don’t see anything wrong with your body, it looks like mine and i don’t have children.

  20. Caroline Says:
    July 25th, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    I have some brutally honest feedback on your photographs. Your body is amazing. I know women always tell each other this to make them feel better but I don’t know you and I’m not obligated to reply to your post. But your body is absolutely gorgeous. I came on this website after reading about it to see if womens bodies after childbirth are really that bad (I don’t have children yet and it scares me that my body will change so drastically) I’m a size 6/8 and if my body looks like yours after 3 kids I’ll be a happy lady! You have great curves and your shape would carry off so many sexy fashion looks. Oh and about your fiancé and the porn thing? So many guys do this even when they are sexually attracted to their partners! A lot of women do too! It’s normal but a lot of people have different opinions so I won’t go on about it. It doesn’t always have everything to do with sexual attraction, I’d say it has a lot to do with wanting to have sex more! You have no reason to be embarrassed, like I said I don’t know you or your fiancé but I think a lot of guys would find your body attractive. I hope this message helps, I really don’t usually post to people but I felt like I should because your picture reassured me that normal mothers can have great figures after they have kids. I have no experience of being pregnant so I can’t comment on the complications you endured, I can understand why you would feel unsexy but on the basis of your photograph, you look fantastic.

  21. Aislynn Says:
    July 26th, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    I’m new to this site I’m not sure exactly how this works but if those pictures are of you i just wanted to say that look amazing!

  22. Linda Says:
    July 27th, 2014 at 9:18 am

    I can understand sexual probblems have a profound effect on your self esteem…but your body…Excuse me?! You look amazing on that picture! Don’t be so harsh on the way you look.

  23. Fourth Pregnancy Poster Says:
    July 27th, 2014 at 11:33 am

    I’m blown away reading these comments! Thank you all for taking the time to comment x wow

    Bonnie; could you please give Danielle (lady who made a comment) my email address so she can contact me with those questions? Thank you!

  24. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    July 28th, 2014 at 9:07 am

    I passed that on for you. :)

  25. Fourth Pregnancy Poster Says:
    July 28th, 2014 at 10:29 am

    Thank you Bonnie ;)

  26. Kodi Says:
    July 31st, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    Actually,
    You look great! Not too long ago in our culture, your figure was the idolized body type… breasts to love, curvy, and a bum. You have a beautiful figure, and you should be proud of it. You are evenly proportioned and really- your belly looks quite lean and toned! Just because you were bigger size pants now, doesn’t necessarily mean you are fat. You kept the pounds in all the right places ;)
    Think of it this way- If I were to see you on the beach in a bikini, I would see you as a woman with a beautiful body and curves to be jealous of! (i.e. a woman who can get away with wearing a bikini post baby).
    Don’t get too upset about the porn… men are visual creatures and respond best to visual stimulation. Just because he’s looking at porn to get him through the hard times, doesn’t mean you are not good enough for him sexually, it just means ‘hey, I need my release, but I can’t do it by imagination and I’m not going to pester my wife for sex…I know she’s not ready/not feeling it/etc.’ I assure you, he would much rather see the mother of his children strutting her stuff in sexy lingerie or even just buck naked! Your internal organs will heal, and this will pass. You will enjoy sex with your husband again. In the meantime try and take some sexy pictures for him to masturbate to. You may not feel sexy, but I assure you he will appreciate the gesture!!!

  27. Katrina Says:
    July 31st, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    1) your body is absolutely beautiful — everything is right where it should be, nothing is missing, and from your body came life…which is the most beautiful thing about it, in my opinion.

    2) Please, please, please don’t blame yourself because your man looked at porn on the internet! Oh my gosh but that’s not your fault at all. Do you hear me? AT ALL. Even men who DO get sex regularly are looking at porn, so what’s their reason? And it has NOTHING to do with his sexual attraction to you. Believe me, your man IS attracted to you.

  28. Paula Says:
    September 26th, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Wowie wow, not many women have that kind of toned and proportioned body after three children. I am on the slender side, but have NO boobs to speak of, so I would probably be willing to gain a few pounds if I thought I could get breasts as beautiful as yours. Many women picture your kind of body as their GOAL. And I agree with many other commenters, the porn thing has very little to do with how often you are having sex. BUT, if your fiance’ wants some visual stimulation, go to a professional “boudoir” photographer and take some nice shots of you in sexy bra and panties and let him use that. I GUARANTEE he will love it!

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