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Feeling Hopeless (Brandie)

April 30, 2014

Age: 30
Pregnancies: 2
Children: 5 yrs old and 11 months

I just turned 30 years old and I have two beautiful boys, one being 5 and one 11 months. I have always been relatively small throughout my life, so the changes that my body has encountered over the last 6 years have made me depressed. My first born was 8 pounds 3 ounces and his delivery was natural, though he gave me third degree tears. Last year I got pregnant with my second child and about 30 weeks along the doctor said I was measuring rather large and sent me for an ultrasound to get the his measurement, there I found out they predicted him to be 10 pounds 11 ounces. The doctor suggested that a c-section would be the best route considering the tearing that happened with the first. I ended up going into labor early and still had a c-section, he was 10 pounds 1 ounce. Needless to say, I was not expecting my body to look quite like it does now. But don’t get me wrong, I knew that I was not going to be small right after either. I wore that belly binder for two weeks and the doctor told me to take it off. I did. And since then I have been embarrassed and well downright depressed. I started working out, lasted a 1 1/2 months before I said forget it. The only parts of me that were getting toned were my legs and butt, nothing helped my stomach. It still sticks right out. I have been asked 5 times if I am pregnant. I am not sure what I can do to loose it, or slim it down at least. I don’t mind a little pooch but this makes me feel like I am 4 months pregnant. My belly is hard and when you press on it, it bounces back at you. I am not sure what to do, I have lost all of the baby weight and am the exact same weight I was prior to my second pregnancy. Any ideas would be great on how to make this go down.

First picture is when I was 8 weeks pregnant with my first born.
Second picture is me 16 weeks pregnant with my second.
Third picture is me 35 weeks with my second.
Fourth picture is me 11 months postpartum from my second.

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6 Responses to “Feeling Hopeless (Brandie)”

  1. Alegra Says:
    April 30th, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    Hello there, I’d suggest going back to working out. Instead of looking at it as an effort to “fix” something, just know that no matter what happens visually – you will FEEL better if you keep up regular exercise. Since you are feeling depressed, *feeling* better is very important. And of course the chances of a change in appearance are much greater with regular exercise as well. Specifically, I’d suggest a routine that strengthens and stretches and works on core strength. Have you tried pilates or yoga? I believe both will have a higher chance of helping you improve the shape of your core. Also I’d suggest checking in with your doctor. I know there are postpartum issues that affect the actual abdominal muscles.

  2. Sara Says:
    May 1st, 2014 at 9:44 am

    I am so sorry you feel so crappy about yourself. I really do. I often say and think bad things about my body and think nothing of it and then when I hear or read someone being down on themselves it hurts my heart. People who ask when you’re due without knowing if you’re actually pregnant are just rude, dingbats who need a high-five…in the face….with a dead fish! Keep exercising. It gives you energy and keeps your metabolism going. Alegra is right, you will feel better even if you don’t see it making a difference right away. If you’ve lost the baby weight and working out didn’t change your tummy, go back to the doctor. It may be diastasis recti. Your abdominal muscles might still have a separation. Apart from the fact that it gives you a little belly, it can leave you vulnerable to injury and hernia if you don’t tailor your workout accordingly.

  3. Tiffany Says:
    May 1st, 2014 at 10:56 am

    Hi Brandie- I was the same as you…people coming and patting my freaking belly asking when I was due. It was mortifying. I agree with the above poster. Working out will help you feel so much better mentally, and that really translates into your outer beauty. Drinking a ton of water, including a glass of lemon water as soon as I woke up, lots of Tracy Anderson, and clean eating really helped mine go down. It’s still not perfect but it has improved greatly. Also, a tight Spanx-type garment might be good to help it go down. I heard that I should’ve worn a corset after giving birth but I didn’t know. Better late than never. My muscles separated and there’s not much beyond a tummy tuck that will completely fix it. I would KILL for your legs/butt/etc. Mine got all huge and stretch marked and flabby. Be thankful for that!

  4. Ashley Says:
    May 1st, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    That does seem a bit strange to me, have you asked your Dr about it?

    Like Alegra said, working out will still be beneficial and I second the pilates suggestion, it definitely helped my core.

  5. Brandie Says:
    May 3rd, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    Hey Everyone. Thanks for the advice. I plan on starting to work out again, I just have to convince myself that results will come when I stop focusing on NEEDING to see results. I have spoken to the doctor about this, he basically said there is a 50% chance it will go down and a 50% chance it will not. I suppose I should make another appointment and ask him about the diastasis recti, thanks for the info Sara.

    It’s so hard to accept change to your body, especially unwanted change. Each day, I become more aware that my stomach does not make me who I am, I carried two big healthy babies and I would never take that back. If it is something that I have to deal with, well then it’s something I will deal with. Maybe working out and eating ‘cleaner’ will work for me and I can stick to it.

    I can’t lie though, I never stick to workouts and dieting or healthier eating. I try, I do, but for some reason I always find an excuse to stop and that, well, has to stop. Hopefully I will be showing ‘improvement’ pictures rather sooner than later.

    It’s nice to share with women that understand. ?

  6. Paula Says:
    July 6th, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Hi, I have diastasis recti (abdominal separation) so my belly sticks out usually called mummy belly. You probabbly have got that condition as well. Presently I’m doing a post-partum training and my belly is a bit flatter. I had a C-section so it really takes time. Good luck!

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