Hello my name is Sha. I am a 23 year old, 5’6, 132 pound mama with one, perfect, healthy child. I had an “normal” vaginal delivery (helped along with a little Pitocin) with no complications or baby drama. My little girl was a healthy 7.12 lbs, 20 inches long! She was so beautiful (and still is)! Ever since I weaned my daughter from my breast at 14 months (~ 3 years ago), my breasts just do not look the way they used to, and I have finally come to the realization that they never will. I used to be a firm, solid C cup with cute little nips and now they are saggy, stretch-marked D’s with much larger aereola. I feel confident in a bra and sometimes I can’t even see the faint stretch marks that used to be bright purple, but when I am having sex with my husband (which is always naked), I feel like he is staring right at them (well… he DOES). I haaaaaate being “on top” for this reason. I feel like they “flap” around! He tells me that I am sexy and constantly makes dirty little comments about my body (what girl doesn’t like that?!) but I can’t help but feel like he is just doing it to make me feel better. I NEVER turn down his compliments or say, “You are just saying that” because I don’t want him to stop. I usually comeback with a “Thanks baby!”, or “Well it takes one to know one”, or flash him a dirty grin, etc., but I know what I see and I know it is the same thing that he sees. He seems like he is anti-breastfeeding now. I loved breastfeeding my daughter and definitely want to do it again with any future children, but every time we talk about it, he will be like, “Why would you put yourself through that again? Formula is fine. Plus it will help you go back to work”. It is a touchy subject and he knows the benefits of breast milk and the benefits for the mom, etc. I feel like since he knows all of this, he is really saying “What if your boobs get worse the second time around?!” I know he would never directly say that to me because he knows it would hurt my feelings, so I feel like he is trying to make other excuses. My belly went back to normal besides a few faint stretch marks on either side of my belly button, so there isn’t much “belly hate”. I have come to terms with my body and am trying to accept the flaws even though the memories of my “perfect” bod still haunt me.