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Feeling Better About My Breasts (Sha)

Hello my name is Sha. I am a 23 year old, 5’6, 132 pound mama with one, perfect, healthy child. I had an “normal” vaginal delivery (helped along with a little Pitocin) with no complications or baby drama. My little girl was a healthy 7.12 lbs, 20 inches long! She was so beautiful (and still is)! Ever since I weaned my daughter from my breast at 14 months (~ 3 years ago), my breasts just do not look the way they used to, and I have finally come to the realization that they never will. I used to be a firm, solid C cup with cute little nips and now they are saggy, stretch-marked D’s with much larger aereola. I feel confident in a bra and sometimes I can’t even see the faint stretch marks that used to be bright purple, but when I am having sex with my husband (which is always naked), I feel like he is staring right at them (well… he DOES). I haaaaaate being “on top” for this reason. I feel like they “flap” around! He tells me that I am sexy and constantly makes dirty little comments about my body (what girl doesn’t like that?!) but I can’t help but feel like he is just doing it to make me feel better. I NEVER turn down his compliments or say, “You are just saying that” because I don’t want him to stop. I usually comeback with a “Thanks baby!”, or “Well it takes one to know one”, or flash him a dirty grin, etc., but I know what I see and I know it is the same thing that he sees. He seems like he is anti-breastfeeding now. I loved breastfeeding my daughter and definitely want to do it again with any future children, but every time we talk about it, he will be like, “Why would you put yourself through that again? Formula is fine. Plus it will help you go back to work”. It is a touchy subject and he knows the benefits of breast milk and the benefits for the mom, etc. I feel like since he knows all of this, he is really saying “What if your boobs get worse the second time around?!” I know he would never directly say that to me because he knows it would hurt my feelings, so I feel like he is trying to make other excuses. My belly went back to normal besides a few faint stretch marks on either side of my belly button, so there isn’t much “belly hate”. I have come to terms with my body and am trying to accept the flaws even though the memories of my “perfect” bod still haunt me.

in Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Submissions

9 comments… add one

  • Anna Monday, October 13, 2014, 8:50 pm

    Your body is seriously stunning.

  • leah Tuesday, October 14, 2014, 9:05 am

    You look so hot! Your body is gorgeous tits are very sexy, your husband means it-trust me.
    men see the good stuff we see flaws:p
    be proud 0 and breast fed or not as long as they’re healthy!! its a personal choice. do it or not just don’t feel bad :)

  • Kristi Tuesday, October 14, 2014, 8:20 pm

    You look amazing!

  • Emily Wednesday, October 15, 2014, 2:24 pm

    I know what you mean about boobs – mine went from a nice and firm DD (Australian sizing) to a kind of empty feeling, super soft D. I LOST boobage! And I had had the kind of boobs people pay money for. And Mother Nature decided to try and make me feel better about losing size by giving me bigger, darker, and kind of messy looking areolae. Thanks! But I also think the only person who notices is the owner of said boobs – you. I think you look great!

  • mommy89 Thursday, October 16, 2014, 10:05 am

    Arg!!! I would give up 4 fingers to have your post baby body!! Your stomach is flawless! And your Boobs look fine! I’m stomach is gross after 2 kids and I have small saggy boobs now. Thank your lucky stars…

  • Jawharper Monday, November 24, 2014, 7:26 pm

    What a beautiful transformation you’ve made into a mother. I’m a guy, and have been reading up on things because my best friend has been going through the same kinds of stress since she had her child. You still have a beautiful figure, and hopefully you will be able to fully embrace every piece as time goes on. As far as the stretch marks go…you’re a tigress who’s earned her stripes =] Like I said…beautiful.

  • Talya Monday, December 8, 2014, 5:08 pm

    Our husbands sound very similar. I think he may be against you breastfeeding because you probably complained more than you realized and he may think you’re only doing it for your baby. I know I complained quite a bit the first few weeks after my milk came in, about the engorgement pain, about when my nipples dried out the first time, when my daughter didn’t latch properly and I thought she was going to tear my nipple off. He may not realize how much you actually love nursing, the bonding, the cuddling, the sweet smell of their hair right under your nose. He probably believes you’re bearing with the pain, or leaening to handle it, for your baby, there is no way for him to know the pain is temporary and preventable if you don’t tell him. Your breasts are perfect and I’m certain your husband thinks so too. He could hate having to fight over them though. I know my husband hated that he couldn’t play with them nearly as much when I was breastfeeding.

  • Rachel Sunday, December 28, 2014, 5:01 pm

    If it helps, the changes to your breasts occur because of the *pregnancy*, not because of breastfeeding.

    http://breastfeeding.about.com/od/commonquestions/a/Does-Breastfeeding-Cause-Saggy-Breasts.htm

  • Messi Friday, December 4, 2015, 6:14 am

    hi there your new doula training soudns awesome. I trained with Deborah Pascal-Bonaro long ago for both birth and postpartum. My life took a different path, and am now licensed professional counselor specializing in the emotions of pregnancy and birth, such as anxiety and depression during pregnancy due to sexual abuse, and caring for postpartum mood disorders such as depression and OCD. I am also the developer of the BirthTouch training for birth professionals. I’ve been thinking about taking another training and I’ll look around your site. Congratulations and good luck to you! Namaste, Kathy

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