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Depressed and Confused (Anonymous)

I am 21 years old and pregnant with my 3rd child, I had my first when I was 17 and second when I was 19. I am currently engaged to the father of these three beautiful babies. But things are rough. I am so uncomfortable with everything about my body. Before I got pregnant I was 115 pounds, after I was 160 I stretched everywhere and I have so much extra skin on my belly it just hangs and even though I’m 6 months pregnant now it’s still there. After being pregnant the first time my areoles stretched so much, I’m still uncomfortable having my fiancé see my breasts. He tries to joke about it because they sag, but it really just hurts. I can’t take it as a joke because I feel disgusting and he doesn’t understand. He just says if he doesn’t care what I look like then why should I? But just to have your body change so much and none of your clothes fit at all.. It’s heartbreaking. I go months without leaving the house at all. Not even to the grocery store. It’s been like this for 3 years. I cut myself secretly for a long time because I dont know how to deal with the pain. I feel like nobody understands, over the summer everyone would ask me why I dressed the way I did.. We would go to the beach and I would wear an oversized t shirt and men’s swim trunks. I don’t even own a bathing suit. I would love to have a daughter but I am terrified that if I do she is going to go through what I am now. How am I supposed to teach her to love her body when I can’t love my own?

in Body Image, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom
1 comment… add one
  • Mar Sunday, January 10, 2016, 5:57 pm

    Sadly I know what you mean .. I only have one and I gained so much weight and now all I have is loose skin that jiggles and looks like a lump, I too feel depressed. But you should love yourself for who you are. And because you have given life. There are swimsuits out there for everybody’s body shape. I wear a one piece that makes me look like an egg lol I think it’s about attitude though there was a lady at the water park this weekend that was a little bigger then me but some how she managed to pull off a two piece and she look good in it . I think she just doesn’t care what others think .. I wish I could be like that. … Cheer up. Don’t cut yourself it’s not worth it. Trust me been there. Try and find a different outlet. And if your partner loves you and is supportive ask him to help you loose the weight after you have this baby. I know it’s easier said then done. I have a supportive husband but it’s so freaking hard. Good luck! Cheer up.

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