When I was 18 I found out I was pregnant. It was probably the scariest moment in my life so far, I knew I would keep the baby but I had no idea how to raise a child, I was still one myself. The fear turned into joy the moment I felt the first little kick from my baby, when I was 18 weeks pregnant on a flight across the country. From that moment on I was excited, my boyfriend who was 23 at the time took a little bit longer to accept the idea but eventually became happy with the idea he was going to be a daddy. I found out when I was 20 weeks along that I was going to have a girl. I had never really given much thought to having babies before, but I always knew if I were to have a baby, I wanted a girl so it was a very pleasant surprise when the ultrasound tech told me, its a girl. She printed out pictures for us and we went to the nearest baby store and bought our baby her first little pink outfit. My pregnancy went very well, I had no complications at all and felt fantastic almost the entire time, no morning sickness or anything not even any cravings! I didnt get stretch marks until I was 40 weeks pregnant. I was actually very upset when I saw the first ones in the mirror, and they kept coming. I had used cocoa butter for he first 37 weeks and then stopped because my mother told me her stretchmarks appeared when she was 30 weeks so I thought I was safe-WRONG. I only got stretchmarks on my belly though so I guess Im lucky that way. My birth went well, I was 42 weeks and had to be induced so I got the epidural fairly fast so I was only in pain for an hour maybe. 28 minutes of pushing and my beautiful little girl was looking me in the eyes. My first thought was “wow, she can really scream”. I was scared, but I have never felt happier in my life, I felt relief that the pregnancy was over (going 2 weeks overdue gets very uncomfortable) and I was sp happy to finally hold my 7 pound 12 ounce baby girl. I was 110 pounds pre pregnancy and at the very end I was 151. I lost 20 of it in the hospital, so going home I looked a lot smaller than I did when I went in. 6 weeks after I thought I was doing great but it seems like I have not gotten any smaller or in any better shape since the 6 week PP mark. I weigh 115 pounds but I still feel a lot bigger than I did pre baby. I have love handels that make my body look muffin like in any pair of jeans I wear. The only thing that did not change on my body was my breasts, they stayed almost the same as pre pregnancy. I notice they arent quite as perky but my boyfriend doesnt notice a difference. I feel so bad around all my other 20 year old friends who are in great shape and can wear tight clothes and not worry though. My daughter is worth every extra pound and all my stretchmarks, but I still wish I looked better. I have other friends who had children around the time I had mine and they look way better than I do, and its a little upsetting. My stretchmarks have faded but they are still very noticable.
Im glad this site exists, so women can share their stories and feelings. I have a hard time talking to people about how I feel about my body because I dont want to seem like Im complaining or fishing for compliments. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and I look forward to reading yours too.