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C-Section Scar (serenebabe)

May 27, 2009

(Originally posted 4.28.09 at her blog.)

I hate the doctor who did the c-section to get Althea out. My midwives suggested it’s possible I make scar tissue well and that an incision close to my first c-section wasn’t an option. Maybe that’s true. I still hate that doctor. First of all, she never even told me when the surgery was starting. Seems only courteous to say, “We’re starting the procedure” or some such indication.

Then, rationality aside, I blame her for the ridiculously high incision. Wide, too. Sure, it will heal thinner and less obvious. But, it will never get lower or less wide.

In honor of TMI Tuesday (a weekly holiday I celebrate with Stephanie H. on Facebook) I’m going to share photos of the fucked up scar and the older and less fucked up scar.

Here’s the first incision that I don’t mind, about 6 years old.

052709-serenebabe-1

Certainly TMI because if you look closely I think some pubes are showing (on this and maybe each of them, I think). Not ideal, but I doubt a little hair ever hurt anyone. The thing is, this incision is *right* at the line of my pubic hair. The photo makes it seem like there’s space but, really, it’s about on top of the hair line. Barely visible when I’m naked.

Now, here’s the second incision from almost three weeks ago.

052709-serenebabe-2

Sure, it’s healing well. And, it will look different in another few weeks. But, do you see how close it is to my belly button? WTF? I can’t imagine there’s any reason for that thing to be so high up.(not sure why it’s rotated funny)

This photo shows them both.

052709-serenebabe-3

And, of course, you can see the slowly receding stretch marks. The badges of motherhood. If the higher up marks are any indication, these lower ones will fade almost entirely away. If I was vain enough I would have waited until the skin wrinkles (from my pajama pants) had faded away. But, here I am, in all my glory.

It’s what a real woman looks like. A real woman who was cut by a fucking asshole surgeon.

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18 Responses to “C-Section Scar (serenebabe)”

  1. Angèle Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    You are seriously making too big of a deal with this. Your scars are barely even visable..The one you are most concerned about doesnt even look like a scar.. it looks like when your pant elastic is too tight and leaves a mark! lol.
    I would try to make this area feel beautiful, ever consider getting a tattoo in between the scars, kind of like a row of flowers or something! :)

  2. Sam Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    You wanna know something… you can barely see them. Really your scars look great. Just be happy you have our wonderful Little ones!

  3. Kit Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Actually I’d be hacked off too. They’re small scars, your tummy looks great and you’ve hardly any stretch marks so that’s all a plus (really, you look great for three weeks in) but STILL I understand you’re annoyed. I would be too. Not because you look terrible, because you don’t; you look fantastic. More that when you have a second section you have an expectation that you’ll end up with one scar, as before.

    This will fade. It’s an annoyance and you’re allowed to be annoyed, but it WILl fade. My section scar is not great either – tiny and very neat but I had a haematoma behind it and it’s still badly bruised three years on – but it doesn’t bother me any more. Time’s a great healer, in every way. Allow yourself to be mad about your second scar and post it all out on here and then sit back and have another look. You really do look great for three weeks in!

  4. Jenny Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    To be honest, if you think yours is bad you should see my mom’s. It’s horizontal and stretches literally right up to her belly button… not only that, it actually opened up two weeks after she had me and is mahoooosive!

    Also, I agree with Angele, it’s not very visible at all and certainly does not look messy or red… just a thin, straight, skin-coloured line. Nothing to worry about!! Even the biggest scars fade, and besides, you really do get used to them (and this is coming from an unbiased source :P )

  5. Jenny Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    *and by horizontal, I meant vertical, woops!

  6. I-dra Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    i’m not going to insult you by brushing your feelings aside & telling you to “just be grateful.” i understand that you’re angry & i understand why you’re angry, too. you have every right to feel this way. it’s normal for women who’ve birthed via cesarean to feel the way you do. i hope that you can find the community & support it sounds like you need, and that you continue on your road of recovery & healing (both physical & emotional).

  7. Rosie Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    It must have been frustrating to have the second scar look so different. It could also be that your focus on the postpartum changes (and how much they affected your aesthetic opinion) are channeled into this scar. I think with time and gradual acceptance you’ll come to peace with it.

    Remember, though it may look different, there was indeed a medical reason for making the incision in that very spot. The result is a healthy baby! Many congrats on that. You’ll come to peace with it…just offer some silent forgiveness to your doctor and maybe try to think of your new body as a complete package.

  8. Rachel Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    yeah, I’ll third what these girls said… I can’t believe it was only 3 weeks ago. really cant see what youre talking about… that said, I understand when it’s your body, its easier to be upset. please also remember too, that depending on position, size, etc. of your baby, the doctor has to cut accordingly. I had a laparoscopy on the same ovary twice, for the same problem, with different incisions both time in COMPLETELY different places. different docs, different cuts. just glad I still have the ovary, or my daughter wouldn’t be here. just a dose of positivity.

  9. mrs. petunia Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    Hmmm, it IS weird that the surgeon put the second incision line so much higher than the first. I guess some surgeon’s have a delicate touch and others…not so much. Anyway, at least your skin heals well. Get a little tan going on and you’ll have to squint or get out the magnifying glass to see them :)

  10. TracyKM Says:
    May 28th, 2009 at 8:48 am

    Have you asked the doctor? Perhaps your baby was breech or up really high? Maybe the placenta was too low. Doctors don’t usually slice blindfolded. I can understand being upset because you don’t have the answers. When you get the answers, you might feel better, especially since you are healing awesome! (You should see my breast reduction scars at three weeks! NOT pretty!)

  11. Pam Says:
    May 28th, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    I completely understand how you are feeling. My first two c-sections were low horizontal incisions and they were no big deal, didn’t bother me at all. For my third, the doctor told me I had a lot of scar tissue from the previous sections and it would be better to do a “classical incision” where they cut you horizontally. I asked if there was any way he could cut over my previous incision. He said he would, but it would take longer, but he would do it. Then, there I was just about to get my epidural the morning of my scheduled section and the doctor came in and informed me that he’d decided to cut me horizontally. He made it sound sooo dangerous to do it any other way, and I was about to have surgery and was in no mood to argue the point any longer. After I saw the incision, I was so mad at him. I am only 26 years old, and always bounced right back after giving birth and here I was stuck with and incision that started right under my belly button and went all the way down to my previous incision. Basically an upside-down T on my stomach. It’s been over a year and although it has healed alot and doesn’t look as bad, I am still unhappy with it. I feel guilty to care so much about how my stomach looks, but I do. I know that it’s all small price to pay for my wonderful son who I love so much, but it still pisses me off that the doctor decided that he HAD to do it like this at the last minute. All I can say is that the more time that goes by, the better it will get, and even though it will never completely go away, it will keep fading. I’m planning a tatto over mine as soon as it’s healed longer

  12. Leigh Says:
    May 29th, 2009 at 2:44 am

    I remember my mom being ashamed of her scars from her surgeries. She never had babies, I’m adopted. I think her “shape of a mother” could be here too. I only wish I could send this to her but I fear she would be offended. Maybe someday we’ll talk about it and she might want to see. Thank you for your candor and vulnerability. This is so healing on a deep level, I can’t even quite put words to it.

  13. Rachel Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    Oh sweetie… your scars are very flat and faded, I seriously had to stare at the photos for a while to even figure out where they were exactly… I actually have not had any children yet, but my husband and I are trying and I found this website… I decided to comment on your photo because I scar very easily I have all kinds of bad luck with doctors… I had my appendix removed when I was 15 and went through all of my prime bikini years with three scars on my stomach from that (one of which is near my belly button) and was in a nasty car accident when I was 17 which left a very large, very lumpy, and very discolored big U shaped gouge across the back of my tri-cep which the surgeon used a total of 9 very visible stitches to close (this puppy is a 4inches big at least) (he should’ve used more stitches)… anyway the point is… it used to bother me when people asked what happened to my belly button… or asked me if a horse bit my arm…(people have actually asked that) but now I don’t care… I love each and every one of my scars because they are part of me and my past… They are just another part of me, and I am beautiful… Embrace your scars… At least you have two babies to show for your scars… You’re beautiful… love your body…

  14. connie Says:
    January 9th, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    ugh I’m sorry to hear you are so angry about this scar. I too have a c-section scar, so I know what they can look like. And I have to tell you neither of your scars look as bad as you are feeling about them. I hope you can learn to accept your new scar.

  15. SereneBabe Says:
    February 26th, 2010 at 11:37 am

    Oh, dear women, I didn’t see your comments! Wow. I’ve got to find time to read them thoroughly.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Wow. Wow. Wow. It warms my heart.

  16. Stephanie Says:
    March 19th, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    I can’t see what you are talking about

  17. Nadia Says:
    September 1st, 2011 at 5:28 am

    Be thankful of your scar. I also had a c-section but I was cut vertically (classical incision) 11 years ago. I hated it so much and I still hate my doctor until now.

  18. Ashley Says:
    March 11th, 2014 at 5:09 am

    I see this is an old post, but I can totally relate to your story. I had my first C-section a few months after yours in 2009, and it’s right where yours is only wider. Also he stitched it up with staples, so it’s not nearly as delicate as yours was (not to mention the pain of trying to take care of a baby with staples in your stomach). I’ve gotten used to it being there, and it’s not like I agonize over it daily, but when I think about it it still pisses me off. For those who say there must have been a medical reason to cut so high, I disagree. He managed to cut my baby right in the middle of her back, leaving her a deep scar that gets bigger as she grows. Of course my daughter was worth it and i’m very grateful of her. That’s not the point. The point is that this was sloppiness on the doctors part. C-sections are notoriously quick procedures that doctors prefer over vaginal births because they can be done in 20 minutes. Also I’m not a super vain person. It isn’t about how the scar looks. But when they cut you that high up, they cut through your stomach muscles and render them useless. Now almost 5 years later I still have almost no control or feeling in my entire lower stomach. Honestly I couldn’t do is sit up to save my life. Yes I would do it all over again if it were the only way I can have my daughter, but a less crappy doctor would’ve been more aware of where he was cutting.

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