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Brave enough (Anonymous)

April 5, 2010

I have a secret……I am brave enough to strut for my husband, brave enough to let him touch any place on my body, brave enough to call myself sexy and actually KNOW that I am. I am brave enough to not second guess my husband when he says I am the most beautiful, I am brave enough to be an amazing mother to all of my children, to let them know I love my life, my body and the gifts that God has given me. I am brave enough be confident, to know that I “still got it”, brave enough to thank God for the FLAWLESS way my body preformed a miracle perfectly, 5 times!

Yet I still am not brave enough to share that secret with the world. I am not brave enough to show anyone else this stretched and scarred belly. Because I am confident now, I am too afraid that the words, thoughts and “sympathetic looks” that they give me for having such a road map of a belly will somehow strip that confidence from me. I am afraid I will feel shame and embarrassment for the body which has been so good to me and my family. I am afraid I will feel inadequate to the person that states that they had their children and still have a stomach that is smooth, not etched with stretch marks and skin.
Maybe someday I will be brave enough to show to the world what the shape of THIS real mother looks like? Or maybe not? Either way, in my home, my husband and children at least have the example of having a wonderfully confident and brave example of a mother who does not call herself “ugly “or “mis-shapen” but lets her family she her “scars” in all their glory and does not apologize for them.

I will admit, I have thought of “fixing” the area after I am through with this pregnancy. If for nothing else, to feel like I am not leading a double life. So that the confidence I feel at home extends to while I am in the eye of others. Is that “selling out”? I don’t think so. I think it would be my choice and whether I decide to do it or not I am still beautiful and strong and my kids know that!

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18 Responses to “Brave enough (Anonymous)”

  1. courtney Says:
    April 5th, 2010 at 10:09 am

    Lovely post.

    Well you have shared your pictures with me and I say that your body is beautiful. :)

  2. Megan Says:
    April 5th, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing – you brought tears to my eyes. I love your courage to feel so confident around your husband. And thank you for reminding us that our bodies provide miracles! I, too, think your body is beautiful.

  3. Rachel Says:
    April 5th, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    Thank you for that beautiful post. The confidence you have is very admirable as is your body!

  4. Christina Says:
    April 5th, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    We have the same tummy!

  5. Kair'e Says:
    April 5th, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    I love Your Story! You have just made my day! I was feeling down in the dumps but now i feel like i can raise my head and be “BRAVE ENOUGH” Thank you!
    Oh and by the way… You look GREAT!

  6. KW Says:
    April 5th, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    You look gorgeous!! Your stomach is so flat and you have a tiny waist! I think your current tummy skin is so aesthetic and interesting…the cellular arrangement is slightly different from the boring “cement” of a non-mom and texture is awesome. At least I think!

    As for your other concern, all surgery should be weighed with pros and cons. It is not selling out if your pros outweigh your own cons. It’s simply a decision that you make regarding an elective medical procedure. We have the technology to do it safely, but it’s still not for everyone. So that is totally your call.

  7. Angela Says:
    April 5th, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    Bravo! I confess that I am not even in the “double life” stage yet. I don´t outright hide my belly from my husband, but I don´t exactly prance around. I think part of the problem is looking JUST at our bellies, or focusing just on the part/s that drive us crazy. I see your belly, and I wince because it looks like mine. At the same time, I am comforted by the fact that this is normal, that this is what happens, that this is what most of us look like, and that the airbrushed, nipped and tucked specimens we see more often are NOT. I think, however, that if I saw your whole body, the entire you, that I would find you (including your belly) beautiful and extremely brave. I try to do this with myself when I stand, sometimes defeated, in front of the mirror. I think our husbands are right, and I think we need to zoom out the focus and appreciate the entire picture of who we are and what we have done. Thank you for doing this, you have made me think, appreciate, and reflect on an issue that has been bothering me for some time. I admire your courage and honesty. Thank you.

  8. Kimberly Says:
    April 5th, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    Your attitude is beautiful. This post was an inspiration.

  9. Rachel Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 2:46 am

    utterly gorgeous post…your words bring me to tears thank you x

  10. Christie Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 3:01 am

    Congratulations on 5 pregnancies and such a flat tummy! I love your attitude :)

  11. Jenny Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 2:23 am

    I know what you mean about “double life”! I look so beautiful, stylish, and even sexy with clothes on. Lots of men turn their heads to look at me (including husband). But I feel that I wouldn’t get any of those looks if I were on the beach in a bikini (except from husband). It IS a double life.

    I’m amazed how flat your belly is – gives me hope :)

  12. Anna Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    I don’t show anyone because I think women get mean satisfaction from seeing us scarred like that, of coures that also means I guess it made us better people in a way. And most bellies in that kind of light wouldn’t look great marked or not, we do have to put it in perspective. I know I would be far from perfect at my age, marks or not.

  13. tanya Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    yur tummy is so flat! amazing :) and i want to have the confidence that you do with yur husband!

  14. GGB Says:
    April 8th, 2010 at 7:10 am

    My mother had 4 children. She doesn’t have the classic c-section many women have now. She has a vertical line (as it used to be) and her skin is similar to yours, but my brothers and I always wanted to touch her right there. It was the sacred place where life began.
    It’s just beautiful and your kids know that!
    I know my children know that too! they love touching my stomach!
    Congratulations! You look great!

  15. iraiosc Says:
    April 9th, 2010 at 1:55 am

    congrats for your strong thinking!
    i had more or less your skin with only one baby, with my navel looking outside… hernia! then… only 20 days ago i’ve just repaired… and always gotted contradicted feelings about do it… finally i acceed and forget all comments of everyone (so hard listen family comments about repair myself :’( )

    at least i want explain to you… last summer, when i still having my strange belly i weared bikini and forget all people looking at me, because i were and i am normal as everyone!!

    in a few days i will sent new photos of myself repaired, for the moment you can see my pics.
    i know you will still strong, and i don’t want made you think about repair, i’m only talking about myself, i prefer to repair it and feel secure again for myself, not for the others!! only for myself!!
    kisses and still feeling sexy because you are!!

  16. Marci Says:
    April 10th, 2010 at 8:32 am

    best post yet that i have read. amazing. 5 times. i cant wait to be like you, 5 little ones and proud as can be.

  17. antoinette Says:
    April 10th, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    u r realli inspiring!! TO HAVE THAT MUCH CONFIDENCE AND UR THOUGHTS AND TAKE ON LIFE,CHILDREN N BEAUTY IS FROM WITHIN,MAKES ME SMILE READIN THIS! U SOUND LIKE U R A GR8 MUM N A CREDIT TO UR FAMILY

  18. Sara Says:
    April 11th, 2010 at 10:43 am

    I admire you so much and wish I were like you. That is a wonderful attitude and you are a wonderful role model to your children. You inspire me to work on loving my body!

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