I have a secret……I am brave enough to strut for my husband, brave enough to let him touch any place on my body, brave enough to call myself sexy and actually KNOW that I am. I am brave enough to not second guess my husband when he says I am the most beautiful, I am brave enough to be an amazing mother to all of my children, to let them know I love my life, my body and the gifts that God has given me. I am brave enough be confident, to know that I “still got it”, brave enough to thank God for the FLAWLESS way my body preformed a miracle perfectly, 5 times!
Yet I still am not brave enough to share that secret with the world. I am not brave enough to show anyone else this stretched and scarred belly. Because I am confident now, I am too afraid that the words, thoughts and “sympathetic looks” that they give me for having such a road map of a belly will somehow strip that confidence from me. I am afraid I will feel shame and embarrassment for the body which has been so good to me and my family. I am afraid I will feel inadequate to the person that states that they had their children and still have a stomach that is smooth, not etched with stretch marks and skin.
Maybe someday I will be brave enough to show to the world what the shape of THIS real mother looks like? Or maybe not? Either way, in my home, my husband and children at least have the example of having a wonderfully confident and brave example of a mother who does not call herself “ugly “or “mis-shapen” but lets her family she her “scars” in all their glory and does not apologize for them.
I will admit, I have thought of “fixing” the area after I am through with this pregnancy. If for nothing else, to feel like I am not leading a double life. So that the confidence I feel at home extends to while I am in the eye of others. Is that “selling out”? I don’t think so. I think it would be my choice and whether I decide to do it or not I am still beautiful and strong and my kids know that!