months pp 9
The other day I ran into a girl who I went to school with. She is a little younger than me and has always been kind of rude. She was telling me how she saw pictures of me before I had my daughter and how she COULD NOT believe that I was ever THAT skinny. She said I must hate my body and she went on to say that having my daughter DESTROYED me. I honestly was at a loss for words. I could not believe she was talking to me this way. I mean, I was actually starting to think I looked pretty good for having a nine month old baby. I looked the girl right in the face and I calmly told her that I would of gained 1000 more stretchmarks and 300 more pounds for my little princess, and I walked away. Her words really did get to me, and I have to admit I went home and cried to my boyfriend. I may not have the body I used to have, but that girl doesnt know what its like to fall asleep every night with the arms of the man that loves me wrapped around me tight. She has no idea the feeling that overcomes me when I peek into my daughters crib late at night just to see my beautiful baby girl sleeping so peacefully in a fuzzy sleeper with animals on the feet. So if people look at my body and think that I am destroyed, then I am BEAUTIFULLY destroyed. I have never been this happy in my life. My body never brought me happiness earlier in life, my daughter brings me the most joy and my body made her. I wouldnt change a thing for the world. Of course there are days where I look in the mirror and wish I was thinner, And I must say there is wayyyyy too much love in my love handles haha. My love handles are my biggest complaint, but hey I dont have too much to complain about. Im just loving life, loving my family, and most importantly learning to love myself.
I wanted to share a poem that I wrote about my daughter, kennedy, when she was only a few weeks old.
my beautiful baby girl sleeping so peacefully beside me
i lay my ear on your chest , listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat
i take your tiny hand as you wrap it around my finger tightly
bending dowm to kiss your cheek, i notice one eye opens slightly
only for a second, then you enter your dream world for the second time
i love you so much, its unbelievable something so heavenly is mine
for nine months i watched how my body changed and grew
the moment i saw that plus sign, i was overwhelmed by love for you
i felt every movement as your own body took shape
i felt my body expand, as yours began to gain weight
until you gained enough weight to be a beautiful healthy baby girl
the day you were born, i knew you were my world
your headful of hair and your dark eyes
the resemblence between us took me by surprise
you had the cutest little mouth and your chubby cheeks
all swaddled up, you looked so sweet
i remember the first time you looked up at me when you opened your big dark eyes
i smiled down at you as i, myself started to cry
a mother meeting her baby, the greatest feeling there is
now our new life as a family was to begin
I went a little picture crazy with this post haha, but all of the ones of me our me nine months pp. then the other pictures are of my little girl kennedy. and then of course the one of the both of us together.