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Baby Having a Baby (Anonymous)

November 19, 2007

When i was 15 i fell in love. Real love. Everyone would tell me i didnt know what love was, and that i was too young… but only i know whats in my heart. After only a few months of dating we found out i was pregnant. The father pushed for an abortion, after all he was 19, which is a felony. But i knew that this baby would be someone special, and to take its life was wrong for me. Im pro-choice, but its just not for me. I hid my pregnancy until i was 7 months pregnant. I was so ashamed. My once toned and cute body was destroyed. I fell into a deep depression, nothing could cheer me up… except for an ultrasound. Everytime i could see my daughter doing what i felt her doing inside of me i felt so calm, so happy. It felt RIGHT. I gave birth to the most beautiful baby i have ever seen (which is what every mother thinks of their own child) at 10:03 am on August 12th 2007 and named this beautiful girl Isabelle Jeanne. (her middle name is after my mother.) I look at my body and i dont see my old self… but i am not my old self. I am a mother, it’s still taking some getting used to to say that… but i am someones Mom. Since my daughters birth the father left me, and im afriad no one will ever want me again… what 16 year old has a stomache like mine? But since discovering this site i just feel so much more at peace with myself and what i look like. I am not alone. I felt like a freak, my mother has only one stretchmark to show from 12 pregnancies (9 ending in misscarriage and three carried full term.) I thank every woman who has shared on this site for helping me adjust to my new body.









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20 Responses to “Baby Having a Baby (Anonymous)”

  1. s Says:
    November 19th, 2007 at 10:59 am

    You daughter is adorable! You did the most loving thing you could do by choosing to raise and nurture your baby, good job, you should be so proud!

  2. Sarah Says:
    November 19th, 2007 at 11:14 am

    Honey, I’m Pro-Life. Now you know why. Your daughter’s life is precious. She is beautiful. She is worth every mark. It was hard to give up your body when you were yet a child yourself. But I am proud of you. You did the right thing. You sound like a fantastic mother. God will bless you for being such a great mom. You look beautiful. Don’t feel like a freak. The truth is, your mom was the –quote– “freak.” Most women get stretch marks. ;)

  3. Tiamam Says:
    November 19th, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    You have wisdom beyond your years….you have figured out at 16 what I am just grasping at 40. Congratulations. Someone WILL love you….don’t worry….and don’t settle.
    You deserve the BEST and so does your beautiful little girl!

  4. Brooke Says:
    November 19th, 2007 at 2:28 pm

    You are a beautiful person, inside and out. Your daughter is gorgeous, and you made the right choice. And trust me, any man who has a problem with your stretch marks is one you don’t want! You will find someone who will see them as a sign of strength and courage, and beauty!

  5. Mickey Says:
    November 19th, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    I agree, the right man at the right time will love you for having the right body — the body of a beautiful mother — because you made the RIGHT choice. You’ve got alot of courage that the world never sees much of these days. I usually never take the time to respond to many of these great posts, but yours really touched my heart. I got pregnant 3 months after I got married at 21 years old, and I thought I was scared back then. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be as young as you are. But you’re a beautiful young woman with a beautiful baby, and never let anyone tell you otherwise! May God bless bless you GREATLY for being so strong.

  6. Tanya Says:
    November 19th, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    What a beautiful little girl, and a beautiful Mommy, too! :)

    It’s funny, I’m 9 years older than you, but I feel much the same way….my body doesn’t look the way I imagined it would at 25, and I have not had a date since I was 3 months pregnant…it will be 3 years this coming January!!!

    If you can find a belly dance teacher in your area, preferable American Tribal Style, I strongly suggest it. It has REALLY helped me to accept my postpartum body, plus I’ve gotten to know a lot of great women, most of whom are mothers too!

  7. Angel Says:
    November 19th, 2007 at 7:13 pm

    Your body will get better with time. I also became pregnant when I was 15, my boyfriend (now husband) was 20 at the time. I had my first baby girl when I was 16 and just 4 days before my husbands 21′st birthday. Today, I am 24 and my husband is almost 29. We have four children now, ages almost 8, 6, almost 4 and 3 months. Don’t worry about what other people think about you, you did what was best for your baby, you gave her a chance to experience life. You are there for her, and are taking care of her. I have always gotten looks from people, still today. I am 24, but look as though I am only 16 or 17 so when I go to the store with FOUR children, people tend to stare at me when they hear them all calling me mom. (Not the baby, she can’t talk yet. lol) Keep your head up, and know that you are a strong woman, because despite your age, you have given birth, you are a WOMAN. Enjoy your baby girl, because they grow up too fast. Don’t worry about a man at this time, focus your energy on your daughter, you will find someone who will be able to treat you how you deserve to be treated eventually.

  8. Katherine Says:
    November 19th, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    Sweet you, sweet baby. Stay in school (get child support from that baby-daddy) and get an education that allows you to take good care of your daughter and be a strong role model for her.

    You are a beautiful young woman. I have NO DOUBT that you will have many suitors in your future. Try not sweat it at all about whether or not men find your body attractive (especially the feckless, irresponsible, superficial ones who are not really men at all) for awhile and just concentrate on yourself and your daughter and your relationship with her. Do not spend the next 10 or 15 years looking for outside approval before you give yourself permission to value your own self, your being, your mind, your soul, regardless of the way men or cultural standards might evaluate you. A man cannot tell you your worth. Look at what a gorgeous baby your body produced — you are amazing for having done this and strong for having accepted this responsibility at such a young age.

    It is so strange to think that when you are my age (34), your daughter will be graduating from high school, and you will have completed the journey of rearing a child to become an autonomous adult that I am just starting — I had my first baby four months ago. I am trying to imagine what it would be like if instead of nursing and watching him learn to roll over, I were helping him with college applications. It’s amazing that our bodies can do this work of childbearing at so many stages of life.

    Just think — when she is grown, you will still be young and strong, still with a head of red hair, not a 50 year old with salt’n’pepper hair, bursitis, bifocals, and slightly unfashionable clothing. And a bonus– at 34, most ‘guys’ have become men and finally act like responsible adults…

  9. M Says:
    November 19th, 2007 at 9:01 pm

    You are so incredibly mature for someone so young. I don’t think I would have been so mature at your age. Congratulations on your beautiful baby. And you WILL meet the right person for you one day.

  10. Rikki Love Says:
    November 20th, 2007 at 12:01 am

    Your story is beautiful. You sound like an mazingly mature young woman and a wonderful mother. You are beautiful and so is your little girl. Like someone already said, a man who is bothered by your stretch marks is someone you don’t want anyway!

  11. Char Says:
    November 20th, 2007 at 12:35 am

    Well done! I don’t know you but I am so proud of you :)
    You and your daughter are beautiful

  12. Amber Says:
    November 20th, 2007 at 7:12 am

    I just want to commend you for having the courage to follow through on something so difficult. An abortion would have been the “easy” way out…but you chose LIFE! That took a lot of guts and a tremendous amount of maturity. You are a fantastic example to your peers…be proud of that.

    I am a mother of 3 beautiful children, and I will tell you this…my children are my greatest joy! I got married very young (20) and started having children right away & it was not easy. At times it seemed like more than I could handle, but somehow I made it through. I had to deal with the loss of my youthful figure at 21, and that was extremely hard to handle. All of my friends were still young and skinny, without a care in the world. I secretly longed for that at times…

    However, my husband always told me he LOVED my body (stretchmarks and all). He liked my new curves and womanly shape. Not all men want a skinny, shapeless, stick of a woman. You have so much more to offer a man than just your body. Be proud of who you are, and who you have become as a result of motherhood. Don’t seek approval from your peers right now, focus on YOU!. I know it’s hard (I still struggle with it from time to time), but learn to love the skin you’re in.

    You have a great story…don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed for the choices you have made. If more 16 years olds had your courage this world would be a better place. Hold your head high!

  13. Megan Says:
    November 23rd, 2007 at 3:59 am

    You are soooo pretty! I would just like to say that your beautiful story made me cry. I am so proud of you, your so strong and mature-definitely an old soul. You know i made a big mistake when i was in my teens. I had an abortion. Now i am 20 and i have my 6 month old daughter, i often think and wonder what could have been. I took away their right to personhood. And for that i will forever be haunted with the guilt. I have a very close friend who had a baby at 15. She was so tiny that her stretchmarks were just everywhere on her tummy.. but now she is 20 she now has an amazing boyfriend who ideally is in his later 20′s he loves her and takes good care of her and her 5 yr old son, her stretchmarks have faded so much that they are hardly noticable as mine have and im 6 months post partum- Time heals the body so dont despair that your never going to be wanted or attractive. You will meet someone who wants you for that beautiful graceful loving personality you have been gifted with, i really believe you will meet someone who will help fulfill you in many ways other than giving you the physical reassurance that your attractive. But in the meantime enjoy your gorgeous daughter because she will grow up so quick, one day you will look at her and say where did my tiny baby go? Its that quick. Loads of love to you my friend. Take care and all the best for the future. xoxox

  14. chantelle Says:
    November 27th, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Well done girl! i was also a mum at 15 and as hard as it is, things do get better, your body will become the least of your worrys as you start getting on with life and as your daughter gets older you will realise and acknowledge that even though your body is not how you want it to be, you have the precious gift of a child.

    good luck and remember she will always love you no matter how you look!

  15. Kashi Says:
    November 30th, 2007 at 5:34 am

    Good choice. I got pregnant at 14, and the father was 19. I would have had my child at 15 and he would have been 20, but I had an abortion. Almost exactly a year later, I got pregnant again, by the same guy.

    I too, hid my pregnancy. The only people I told were my boyfriend, and my two best friends. My idiot father didn’t even know until 4 days after my daughter was born. Needless to say, I don’t talk to him anymore.

    Anyway, when I turn 17, my daughter will be three months old. I feel more guilty about the abortion now that I’ve had my daughter.

    Uhg. Being a teen parent is hard, I’m glad you made the right choice, and I hope you are proud of yourself for being so strong.

  16. Taylor Says:
    December 8th, 2007 at 9:23 pm

    I’ve never posted on this before, but do look occasionally, but OMG!
    When I saw and read your story, I am in the EXACT same sitation as you.

    I actually fell pregnant at 14, but turned 15, shortly after, so spent most of my pregnancy 15.
    My boyfriend is 19, and we have been together, now a little over a year, so when we found out I was pregnant, we had only been together for like 5 or 6 months.
    But we did/still do love each other.
    Hes still with me also.

    But looking at your stomach and reminds me of mine so much.

    Except, I got stretch marks on my legs, hips, arms, breast front of stomach, sides of stomach, top of butt, all down my butt.

    I even got them on my vagina, like at the top.

    I am still pretty depressed about them, but I know if I try hard that it will get better, and I have a baby girl that needs my love more than anything.

  17. DelaRae Walker Says:
    December 24th, 2007 at 12:06 am

    I too was a teen mother. I got pregnant with my daughter at 16 and I am now a 21 yr old proud mother of a beautiful 4 year old girl, a gorgeous 1 year old boy and a 2 month old baby boy. I feel so blessed to have them in my life! I am also self conscious about my body but you can’t let it get you down. Your children look up to you and respond to the way you percieve yourself and as a mother I know you want your daugther to grow up and appreciate what it is to be a female. WE give those men that are so critical of our bodies life..without us they couldn’t be here!! I just wish there were more men like my amazing husband out there that understood that fact. Without US there would be no them! I am also so proud of you for taking on the incredible responsibility of raising your daughter on your own! I applaude you! Your daughter is beautiful and so is her mommy! If you ever need/want to chat feel free to email me at dwalker1329@yahoo.com..I’m here if you need someone who has been where you are! Take care and much luck to you!

  18. monique Says:
    January 25th, 2008 at 1:01 am

    hey girl im only 17 and about to have a newborn baby in 5 weeks im still with the father. my mother ever got any stretch marks. but ive got heaps of stretch marks just like your. you should try bio oil that works really good. if you need anyone to talk to here is my email. yellow-master69@hotmail.com

  19. Ali Says:
    October 1st, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    ILY

  20. Dani (writer of this posting) Says:
    October 1st, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    Thank you so much everyone who has commented on my ramblings, it really helps seeing how supportive all of the women on this site are.

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