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(Anonymous)

May 14, 2007

First of all, thank you for this site! I fell in love with it the minute i saw your picture on the main page. That picture is just gorgeous! Well I am a mom to 6 gorgeous children. However, only 4 are with me, one whom is adopted. I got pregnant with my first child shortly before i turned 20. I have NEVER heard of scretched marks, let alone seen any! When i started seeing these “lines” on my belly on my second trimester, I was totally panicked (and grossed out) I cried and cried and cried, mostly because i was mad i had never heard of them before. It was totally unexpected, and i was mad at society to not expose this truth more. I had them on my breast, on my belly, and very large and deep one around my vagina. My son was born and those marks because so secondary, i stopped worrying about them. I was 110 pounds when i got pregnant, and was 165 when i delivered. I managed to get down to 140 pounds. I was disgusted by the look of my jello/ stripped belly, but decided to stop worryign about it. I breastfed on demand, and even tho i didnt had my period yet, i found out i was 15 weeks pregnant when he was only 5 months old! Few weeks later, i found out there were twins!! I was so happy. Unfortunetly, i went into preterm labor and had placenta abruption at 7 months pregnant and gave birth to a still born daughter and her sister died 5 hours after birth. I was totally broken. I had gained 40 pounds, totally deformed my body with this twin pregnancy, and had to go home empty hand. I remember thinking I would never complain about my body again after delivering and bringing home a healthy baby… My marks were now a constant reminder of my dead children instead of a miraculous blessing. 3 months later, i became pregnant again. To my surprise, i only gained 25 pounds, delivered a 9 pounds baby boy. He had shoulder dyslaxia and almost died. He now has processing (brain) issues due to lack of oxygen at birth, but he is a wonderful healthy boy. I felt blessed he made it thru. My stretch marks faded a lot, and even tho my belly NEVER was flat again, I felt I looked ok for having had 4 babies in 2 years. My weight never went lower than 140 pounds, in fact, i gained 10 pounds in the next 3 years. I got pregnant again when my youngest boy was 3. This pregnancy really took a toll on my body… I totally suspected it was a girl because my body shape was so so different than with my boys. I grew butt, hips, boobs, to twice the size they were. I “only” gained 30 pounds, but was still 180 when i delivered. I was 175 pounds when i brought her back to the hospital, and never lost a pound! I had never heard of a woman being basically the same weight she was at delivery after 6 months! I started to work out, 5 times a week. Very intense work outs. I started to have breakfast, somehing i never did, and eat more protein. I gained 35 pounds and went down to 140 pounds. Now… if i excersice… i manage to be about 150 pounds, but my belly is very expanded… i am a size 10-12, huge E breasts and basically not the girl i was just 8 years ago before i was a mother. I dont like my body… but i have to remidn myself that i had 5 babies and my body is beautiful for what it created. The first picture is of me after my 4th baby, and the last pictures are of me now, after having my baby girl, who changed my body the most. I do have a lot of stretch marks, but they are of my skin color now so they never show on pictures, but they show plenty in the day light… i wear long shirt all the time to cover my flab and those marks, but im getting to not care anymore. By the way, i have seen all the pictures on here and you are all beautiful. I never thought i’d post “my” pictures like this before…. NOT of my belly. I do wish the pictures showed how “bad” it looks… i only have a webcam right now and its not showing my “motherly shape” as well as real life does. haha






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2 Responses to “(Anonymous)”

  1. linda Says:
    June 6th, 2007 at 11:47 am

    Wow, you’ve been through a lot. Hugs to you.

    And you’re right, your body has done an amazing thing, and it is beautiful.

  2. Alicia Says:
    June 14th, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    You look fantastic. I’m floored that you look that good after having so many children! My strech marks are like that too, very light but VERY visible in the natural light!!! I am so insecure about t hem. I have a lot on my legs so I wont even wear shorts.

    I can relate to what it’s like having your deformed body remind you of sadness. I lost my (first and only) baby last year, 5 days after I had him. I carried him full term and it really took a toll on my body (I had excess amniotic fluid and stuff too, which stretched my stomach a lot more than a usual pregnancy). I find it really difficult to look at my naked body now as it just makes me angry. I feel like I sacraficed so much of myself for nothing. It’s just a constant reminder that I DON’T have a baby. Blah.

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