All my childhood I wanted to do nothing more than to be a Mom. I dreamed about pregnancy and childbirth. At career day, I didn’t want a career other than to be a Mother.
Before becoming a Mother, people always commented about how tiny I was, how thin I was. Now, 4 pregnancies and 2 live children later, I don’t have the figure I once did. The hardest part has been the reaction on people’s faces when they haven’t seen me for a long time. I am no longer 115 pounds, but 150. The look of disgust has been so hard for me to swallow. I’ll never forget the “old high school friends” I visited when my last child was 5 months old. That was the worst I have ever felt about my self-image. It wasn’t what they said, it was what they didn’t way. That short hour ruined the rest of my vacation. Never again will I give someone the power to make me feel embarassed or ashamed of my body. I have experienced loss and heartbreak. The marks on body are the remaining memories of the babies that didn’t make it and the reminder for the love I have for the 2 that did. I am thankful for the opportunity to house my children safely in my body. Some people want the chance, but don’t get it. I however, am one of the lucky ones. Every stretch mark, every pound gained is a reminder that I have the family I always dreamed of.