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Dear Shape of a Mother,

I am a 29 year old sahm to 2 wonderful children. I have always been very self-conscous of my body and I still am to this day. The shame happens quite often especially when I am asked how far along I am. Those crushing feelings rear their ugly head when I reply that I am not pregnant and that my baby will soon be 5 years old.

I am in love with a man who does not love me and his love is denied me because of my body. I don’t want him to love me for my body. I want him to love me for me!

I have learned to hide my feelings and my body well! I want to overcome that shame and reading this site helps to pull me from my cocoon. I am determined to love myself no matter what! And seeing other beautiful women inside and out helps me on my journey!

Thank you!



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19 comments… add one

  • Little Minx Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 12:43 am

    Your story made me cry. Hold on to your dreams and don’t let them go. You deserve to be loved for you.

  • Jules Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 6:49 am

    My love, you have a beautiful body, and any man who sees only what you look like isn’t worth your time or heartache.Best wishes. x

  • Manic Mom Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 6:50 am

    I am so sorry you have these feelings. This man does not deserve you.

  • Anonymous Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 7:21 am

    You are a dear and beautiful woman and Mom. There is no one in the world that is exactly like you, you are wonderfully made, muscle, tendon, blood and yes, fat. It all has it purpose and does not determine who we are. Blessings as carry on your journey of self love.

  • Nancy Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 9:13 am

    I swear, it’s me like that who make me want to become a lesbian! You deserve better and you cannot really love osomeone who treats you so badly. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve better! There are real men out there who will love you for who you are and who should be in awe of your body and what it has done. Wear your badges of honor with pride.

  • Rebecca Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 11:52 am

    I think you’re beautiful.

  • Anonymous Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 1:51 pm

    I think your body is absolutely beautiful and any man would be lucky to be in your presence.

  • Anonymous Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 1:53 pm

    I admire you for your courage and strength. I respect you for the choice to give birth and to wear the honorable Costume of Mothers. I love you for the very rare and sincere sweetness I sense in your post. You are truly an exceptional woman.

  • Anonymous Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 9:00 pm

    It sounds to me like you need a new man. One that DESERVES you!

  • Anonymous Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 9:05 pm

    You look great!

  • Anonymous Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 9:13 pm

    you look like you have really good muscle tone..the man you love sounds shallow to me. I think you look beautiful!

  • Anonymous Thursday, August 24, 2006, 4:39 am

    Sigh, I was where you are.By the time I gave birth to our son, the size 6 he married had morphed through the fertility drugs and the pregnancy into a size 20. He wasn’t impressed and, being in a relationship he felt safe in, said as much to me. For a whole year I was mad. Mad at him for feeling that way and even more mad for him admitting it. In that year we hardly spoke and when we did, I was just mad. And sex, forget it.I finally made it to the breaking point. I showed him the jobs I was applying for, the apartments I was going to look at and the daycares I was going to consider to care for our son instead of me. I told him I was done. I told him that was too young and too worthy of being made to feel like everything rided on whether or not I lost weight. I told him that either our marriage was going to be based on the fact that he loved ME regardless of what my body looked like or he was going to admit right then and there with the same honesty that it was over.Remarkably, our marriage has had a complete turn around and we’re stronger than we’ve ever been. And we did it without paying a therapist to tell us each what we already knew was most important. Not that I object in any way to therapy but we did it on our own by being THAT honest and I’m so very proud of that. It was not an immediate reversal and it was a lot of hard work but it was immeasurably worth it.That was three years ago and I have only come as far as being a size 16 and I’d like to be thinner now for ME, without anything else riding on it. I’ve been able to get to that place because I empowered myself. You can do it too and it doesn’t necessarily mean that your marriage is over or that he isn’t capable of loving you for who you are.

  • Courtney Thursday, August 24, 2006, 10:00 am

    You are beautiful. You body is beautiful. Your arm is beautiful. Your stomach is beautiful. Your butt is beautiful. Your breasts are beautiful. You are BEAUTIFUL. Don’t ever think otherwise.

  • Sherry Saturday, August 26, 2006, 5:55 am

    This brought tears to my eyes. What a shame that someone could be so shallow and make you feel so bad about yourself. You are beautiful and you deserve to be made to feel that way.

  • Divamama Sunday, August 27, 2006, 4:00 am

    My heart goes out to you. Just like everyone else here I know you are beautiful. Good luck on your journey to loving yourself and demanding others in your life do the same.

  • Anonymous Sunday, August 27, 2006, 10:38 pm

    I think that you are beautiful. I hope that you find the strength to see that too. One must not allow others to define his or her worth. It is up to you. I am not sure where you are, but if you care to share, I am sure one of us is near. I would imagine one of us would love to get you out of the house, help you get some fresh air, and allow you the opportunity to vent. Believe in yourself and allow us to support you…

  • Lotusbelle Monday, August 28, 2006, 3:54 am

    hi there~i just found this site and i am happy to see real bodies!my last pregnancy literally blew out my stomach muscles and also left me with an umbilical hernia…i look as though i am 7 months pregnant.sadly i need surgery and that is 10k.i am always asked when my baby is due, it hurts and i hate it so much and sometimes to avoid commentary, i say “2 months”!i started out with a size 6 body and now i don’t even know what size i am because i am so wrongly proportioned.thanks for your post, you are beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!

  • beanie's mama Monday, August 28, 2006, 3:52 pm

    what the? you deserve better! you are BEAUTIFUL! don’t let anyone, not even the man you love, make you believe otherwise…(i tell myself this all the time too).your body was a “home” to “2 wonderful children”. if that isn’t beautiful, i don’t know what is!

  • Anonymous Wednesday, August 30, 2006, 8:45 pm

    Sweetheart, I have never been pregnant and my body looks a whole lot like yours–actually, your stomach looks much better!!I married a wonderful man who adores me for me.You find the man who adores you for you. He’s out there. You deserve that.

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