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Anonymous

May 9, 2011

My boyfriend and I weren’t together long when I found out about our first daughter. We were young, scared yet estatic about the news. I was 145 lbs when I first found out I was pregnant. I’m 5’5, so I wasn’t super thin, but I was happy with how I looked. I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, and by the end of the pregnancy I was up to 195 lbs. I ended up with what seemed like millions of tiny little stretch marks from pelvic bone to just up past my belly button, Tiny, silver stretch marks. My first daughter was 2 weeks over due. I was induced, had my water broke, and after 9 1/2 hrs of labour, they decided to take her by c-section as every time I had a contraction her heart rate dropped. They took me to the OR and by the time we got there, they had lost her heart rate and were losing me, thus, emergency c-section. Needless to say, scared Darren and I throughly. After wards, my healing went normaly, however, dealing with the stretchmarks, scar and loose sagging skin was not easy.

Also, before the baby, I had quite a large chest, I was a 36DD prebaby days. During pregnancy and breastfeeding, I was at least a 38E. After breastfeeding for 4 months, my breats were saggy and empty feeling. So not only did my breast sag, but my stomach as well. So here I was, 22 yrs old, 15 lbs heavier than I was use to (dropped to 160 lbs quickly) covered in stretch marks, saggy skin and a pouch. While al my friends were skinny, and loving/living the young adult life. Needless ot say, I was depresed. I went a week at a time with out showering, you couldn’t find me out of sweat pants very often if ever, hair always in a bun…not very attractive. Took a kick in the butt from my mother to get me in gear. My loving and supportive boyfriend always told me how beautiful I was and how it didn’t matter to him. The marks on my body were made from OUR child. He thought my scars and marks were beautiful.

I ended up getting down to 154 which was only 9 lbs away from my pre baby weight. I quit smoking (it’s been 15 months now) but gained 16 lbs from doing so…170 lbs. I joined weight watchers, started walking absolutely every where, biking every where, would go anywhere without spanx or layers to hide the pouch and loose skin…2 weeks into weight watchers…SUPRISE baby #2. I was really excited, but taken back. We weren’t trying, and he wasn’t sure he wanted another one…me on the other hand I was POSTIVE I wanted one, but wanted to wait at least another year for our daughter to be older and in school when the second was born.

My boyfriend became very distant and almost detatched from me durning my second pregnancy. Didn’t come to any dr’s appointments, didn’t really show any interested in ultra sound pics or news about how I was doing with the pregnancy. Never really touched my belly or told me I was beautiful (which he was always reassuring me during baby #1, and post baby) Our sex life suffered, it felt like we were strangers. He doesn’t deal with fear or loss of control well…at all. I gained the weight quickly and it made matters worse. Started at 170….41 wks gestation weighed in at 224 lbs. I was devestated. I weighed more than my boyfriend. When I went into labour he stepped up. We have a vaginal birth, and he coached me the whole way through. I’ve lost 30 lbs in 10 days, 20 of it was in the delivery room, but I feel like a million dollars. And my boyfriend is back being the supportive amazing man that he is. Our second daughter was healthy, no complications, 9 lbs even. He’s bonded with her amazingly, and we have our bond back as well…11 days post delivery, I am 195 lbs. Which still bothers me as it’s the weight I was when I delivered my first, but I am making progress. Breast feeding, and eventually long walks with my girls. Websites like this give me hope for my girls, that one day they will love their bodies, regardless what the media tells them! Thank you so much for this website! Seeing women with the same scars, stretch marks and skin makes me feel like I’m not alone.

Age: 24
Number of pregnancies and births: 2, 2
The age of children: 2 1/2, 11 days
Second pregnancy, cesarean

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7 Responses to “Anonymous”

  1. Sarah P. Says:
    May 9th, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Good for you for having such a hopeful attitude. You look great at 11 days postpartum and two little ones, too! You’re supermom! You’re doing a fantastic job! :)

  2. Dee Says:
    May 9th, 2011 at 10:46 am

    Thanks for sharing your story. I’m a young mother as well and none of my friends have stretch marks or saggy breasts either. My daughter is 6 months today and I’m positive that if my boyfriend and I found out we were having #2 he would act the exact same way. I’m glad you and your man are getting your bond back. It’s hard after a baby (and I’m sure even harder after 2!) especially when you don’t feel attractive.

    Stay positive. Sounds like you’re doing good.

  3. christina Says:
    May 9th, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    I had my first son at age 21 and at 5’3″ I was over 200 lbs right before delivery. I had two more sons- the 2nd pregnancy I was in the 170′s at the end but the third had me tipping the scale at 205 lbs!

    It won’t happen over night, and it won’t be “fun” or “easy” but you will get your body back. My oldest boy is now 13 and I am in the best shape of my life.

    I wish you all the best. And if you want the best, you just have to go and get it!

  4. Jenny W Says:
    May 11th, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    You look great, and only 11 days pp. It will only get better from here

  5. Melissa Says:
    May 13th, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Things will work out! You and I are belly twins! I started my pregnancy at 170 lbs at 5’6 and got up to 230 I totally know how you feel. I’m 200 right now, and though I’m not where I want to be, I’ve accepted it as a work in progress. Keep your head up! Your beautiful and have 2 beautiful little girls. :)

  6. Cassandra Says:
    June 13th, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Thank you so much ladies!! your support is amazing!

  7. miya Says:
    September 2nd, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    I got pregnant a week before I was 18, My prebabyweight was 150 pounds by the time I was 7 months I was 170 pounds… The day I went into labor I was at 204 pounds….. At only 5’2. My stomach was now full of albino looking zebra stripes and my breast had lowered. I ended up being 180 pounds aftrr baby….. I got on diet pills and got to 165 …. But then I found out that I was pregnant again! Im excited about the new baby but terrified at the idea of gaining all that weight back plus some……. Im 18 weeks pregnant and Im already back to 173 pounds….. My self esteem is low and im not very optimistic at this point

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