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Almost 7 Months Postpartum (Anonymous)

January 17, 2012

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 months
~pre-pregnancy weight: 160. Final pregnancy weight: 230
~gave birth to 9 lb baby girl

I have a ridiculously beautiful baby girl. I had a lot of support from moms on an online message board during my pregnancy. Some of these moms lost their babies. This makes me sad, but thankful for my little girl. I feel so blessed. I look at my stomach. It is covered in stretch marks. My skin just flops over. I remember that this is where my baby grew. This is where she was kept warm, safe, and nourished. I miss the kicks and punches. I always knew she was so safe there. As she grew larger, so did I, and the more stretch marks, the more my skin couldn’t handle it. I am torn. This body is where my angel girl was conceived, where she went from an egg and sperm to an absolute miracle, and it is also a living record of that – recorded in scars and loose skin.

I search for other moms who have what I have, and that have worked hard and gotten rid of the flap. I haven’t found any. I know that I will not look like I did before. I will always be jealous of moms who never get a stretch mark, or have no loose skin. Women who complain about their post-partum bodies, who in reality had very very little change, will always drive me crazy. I am lucky, and I have someone who accepts my body, and no just because I carried his child, but because he loves me. I love him, but cannot help but wonder if the relationship did not work out, who would want me? I would need a tummy tuck. I need a tummy tuck. I want hope. I cannot find hope.

I am almost 7 months post-partum. I have lost 45 lbs, since having my baby. I have a lot more to lost because I gained some before conceiving. I want to lost 50 lb more. My “normal weight” before becoming pregnant was between 135 – 145 (usually more toward the 145-150). I am 5′ 7″, and had an hourglass figure. I always had stretch marks. Down my inner thighs. My breasts. Above my butt/lower back. And my sides. I don’t really know why. I was an athlete, and I maintained my weight until I was in my mid-twenties when I gained 50 lb, but only got 1 stretch mark from that. My weight is now distributed so different. I had a tummy pouch before, but now I have this huge flap. I had little love handles, but now they are really large. I never had back fat, but I do now. Now that some time has passed I am not consumed by how bad my body looks, but I still have sad moments. I wouldn’t change anything. I realize had I put off getting pregnant, then I wouldn’t have this little girl. I have a happy, healthy baby. Whether it is right or not, I feel bad about the way I look, but if it were September 2010 again, I would still try to conceive her. I would do it all again.

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4 Responses to “Almost 7 Months Postpartum (Anonymous)”

  1. Beverly Says:
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    Congratulations on your precious baby girl! Seven months — you have so many fun milestones ahead to enjoy with your baby. Please don’t lose hope. You are only seven months out! Our bodies need at least 18 months to fully return to normal. Yes, some things never go back completely, but there is still plenty of hope for you. I can tell from the picture. Your stretch marks have already faded quite a bit, and in time they will not be very noticeable at all. The “flap” was not as severe as you made it sound — with time and exercise and eating well (or continuing to eat well), it WILL diminish. When i looked at my stomach after my second son was born, i wept. It seemed like the extra wrnkly skin was enough to fill a huge bowl. But, i told myself that i would not be discouraged by it. I did lots of cardio, lots of strength training (not just in abs, but everywhere, to make myself stronger overall), and tracked what i ate. Two years after my son was born, i was stronger and slimmer than i had ever been, even before kids. My stomach was flat, and you could see definition for the first time in my life. Of course, if you looked closely, you could see silver stretch marks, and if i bent over, you could see wrinkles from the last remaining extra skin. But, it looked (looks) damned good, and certainly better than i had dared hope for. It took time, but it did happen! The last stretch is the hardest. Granted, i was starting from 145 lbs, but im also shorter than you (5’4″), and my pre-pregnancy weight was 110, so it was still a long road. I know you can do it! You were an athlete once, which means your body is conditioned to remember what it was like to be fit and muscular, and it will become that way again, even if it’s been a while since you’ve been athletic. Your man is lucky to have someone as thoughtful and caring as you. Please be confident in your appearance — men want real women! Real women come in ALL shapes and sizes, and truly, confidence is the sexiest thing about a woman. Best of luck to you!

  2. Amber Says:
    January 20th, 2012 at 12:00 am

    Im 22 years old, and I just gave birth to my first child, a little girl. Her name is Chloe.. I got so huge during my pregnancy, but I knew she was growing healthy and that was important. I was due Friday Dec 30th .. Sunday night Chloe was moving around and getting ready to come, Monday morning no movement.. January 2 2012 I went to the hospital to get the, to check on her and she was gone, 2 days later on January 4th I had Chloe, a stillborn, I never gazed into her eyes or held her hand or felt her heartbeating. I know as a woman it is hard to feel sexy after giving birth, but your body will get better with time and effort, your baby girl will continue to grow and experience life and you get to share that all with her and your husband, that should make you proud. Please love yourself no matter how you may look right now, you just brought a baby into this world, your body takes time to recover, I wish for just 10 seconds that I could hold Chloe again.. I would take 10 flaps to have her back.

  3. Tessa Says:
    January 20th, 2012 at 11:59 am

    I can’t come here and share with you a miracle story of skin miraculously retracting and disappearing. I’m only 5’1 and had a nearly 10 lb baby. The loose skin and stretch marks are forever here to stay, but I did make amazing progress!!! I was feeling great! Not the same smooth stomach I had before, but I looked good with clothes on and was feeling more confident. I went from a very, very overweight (for me) 170ish, to 140. I had only 10 lbs to lose and was well on my way, but now I am pregnant again!
    If you search “Tessa” here, you can see my first photos and my updates since.

  4. old mommy Says:
    January 22nd, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Oh my. what a thing to worry about. i know how you feel, but…I have two beautiful kids and a stepson. my youngest is 8. i lost most of my extra weight and still have the stretch marks, flap, yaddayadda. fact is its all about confidence and loving WHO you are. I separated from my hubby and didn’t date for a year, but then finally did. fact is, i never had trouble finding a GORGEOUS, usually younger, man to date, and none of them thought I was ugly or tried to fix me when they saw my body. And they all called me back the next day. (I’m not a slut, I was separated for a long long time) I am beautiful the way I am. I created life dammit, and I’m confident and sexy. My gut looks JUST like yours by the way. eh, but I broke hearts and got back with my hubby LOL. confidence girly. and don’t hex a wonderful marriage by thinking about breaking up with a great guy who loves you just the way you are, just see yourself through his eyes and feel how beautiful you are and tell all those other men to eat their hearts out cause your taken!

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