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After 2 kids and 2 c-sections (Milia)

January 19, 2010

Age: 28
Pregnancy/live birth: 2 (both c-section)
How far long postpartum: 3 and half months
Age of kid(s) = 15 months; 3 and a half months
Weight gain during pregnancy: 35 lbs; 40 lbs

First, I would like to mention this site has helped me tremendously when I was at my lowest point. My first son was born via emergency c-section due to fetal distress. I remember the c-section recovery was easy and did not have much pain at all. Most likely I was in shocked to really know what was going on and the adrenaline spike has masked all the pain that people was always talking about when it comes to c-section recovery.

When my first son was barely 4 months old, I found out I was pregnant again. It was not planned and I was scared. I was scared what it would do to my body. 9 months later, my second son was born..again another c-section. This time it was a scheduled c-section. So I have back to back pregnancy, with back to back c-section in less than 22 months.

The first time around, I snapped back into shape very fast without doing anything different. Second time around, I wasn’t so lucky. I was depressed for many weeks following the birth, blaming my husband for everything. I cried for days..day and night and was unable to look at myself into the mirror. My husband thought I am still beautiful but I could not care less of what he said.. WHat matters is what I think.. I desperately want to feel beautiful again, I want all the loose skin, flabby belly to be gone.. I want to look good again. ANd all I was feeling was fat, unattractive monster that I truly believe I have become.

Before I was pregnant with my first son, I was 108 lbs at 5’4. And now, I am 122 lbs. I have beautiful body before, but I have never really appreciated it. I always thought I was fat and now only I wish I can go back in time and change what I thought of me. But I love my kids more than anything, but still deep down inside, I wish I can feel as beautiful as they both appear to me.

Here are my pics at 3 and half months post partum.

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16 Responses to “After 2 kids and 2 c-sections (Milia)”

  1. shannon Says:
    January 19th, 2010 at 10:19 am

    Sorry…but you REALLY need some help. You look AMAZING. I also have had 2 cesareans…I got pregnant with my second child when I was 22 months pp with my first. I look nothing like that and I am now 9 months pp with my second (sorry to say you can find me under child loss…”2.5 months pp, second cesarean in 2.5 years”). You look great…and 108 is too skinny for 5’4″. 120 is your ideal weight…

  2. Kris Says:
    January 19th, 2010 at 10:55 am

    Hey, I just want to say that i think you look GREAT. I really do :)

  3. Samantha Says:
    January 19th, 2010 at 11:47 am

    You look really fantastic! I can’t believe you’re only 3months pp! Vitamin D can really help with mild depression. You can get it naturally from being outside but a recommended dosage would mean like 6 hours outside consecutively every day. Which isn’t really feasible. I personally take a Vitamin D capsule (2000 IU’s) every day. It really helps!!! Hope you can love your body again bc you’re really missing out! You look fabulous! Be Happy!!! :) Congrats on your new little one!

  4. kat Says:
    January 19th, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Ok. Seriously? You must be delusional from lack of sleep cause you look awesome!! I hope you can embrace your body for what it gave you and keep these pictures and look at them often and be proud.

  5. P.A. Says:
    January 19th, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    I just had my first son four months ago and had a c-section as well. I, too, ‘bounced back’ rather quickly. No saggy stretchy skin- I’ve definitely already begun strongly considering how I will handle my body after a second baby, as it’s unlikely to react the same way again.

    But you know what? You look -great-. You’ve bounced back just fine, and you will continue to shrink. I say that because of how good you look now. Your scar looks fantastic as well.

    To get myself back into shape I’ve started walking. I put the baby in the stroller, bundle him up (6 inches of snow out there!) and off we go. Even though I was pretty ok with the way I looked after the baby was born, I know that this is making a huge difference. I can see another dramatic change since I started walking.

    Just find a small change you can make to move your body and the rest of the (tiny!) tummy you have will go away.

  6. Lauren Says:
    January 19th, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    You look fantastic! It’s hard to believe you have had two babies back to back!

  7. Sarah Says:
    January 19th, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    I don’t want to seem insensitive or anything, but there is NOTHING wrong with you or your body! You have a beautiful shape. You’re very thin. You have gorgeous legs (I’m jealous) and you’re ONLY 3 months pp in those pics!!! I was losing weight up until 18 months postpartum WITH my first baby. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Your weightloss with your first was kind of an anomaly. And chances are, by your child’s first birthday and definitely by his/her second you’ll be back to your original weight, if not off by a few pounds. You are a NORMAL woman here. And you are beautiful!

  8. Ann Says:
    January 20th, 2010 at 3:13 am

    WOW you look absolutely AMAZING you look like how I did before I had a baby, please dont get so down on yourself you look absolutely gorgeous and believe it or not you will continue to get smaller you are only 3 1/2 months!!! when your baby reaches his first birthday you will be right back where you started just give it time….although it looks like you already reached that milestone. good luck on feeling better and congrats on your two babies!!!

  9. Natalie Says:
    January 20th, 2010 at 6:39 am

    I get that your new body feels a lot different than your pre-baby body, and you don’t feel sexy right now. Nothing I can say will convince you that you look beautiful. Give yourself some time. 3.5 months isn’t really very long at all. Your body is still adjusting to not being pregnant anymore.

    Just try something, ok? When you touch and see your body, say only positive things. Instead of “look at this disgusting flab” say, “I grew two babies in this belly” and instead of “i hate these stretch marks” say, “isn’t it amazing what my body can do?”

  10. Deb Says:
    January 21st, 2010 at 4:27 am

    I know how you feel. I am the same height as you and have spent most of my life at around 108-115pounds. Since children I’ve fluctuated from 108 – 180 pounds. I have seen my body change in so many ways and although other people can comment that my body looks ok, or even great, I can see every last flaw. How we see ourselves is the most important thing, although I really hope that hearing the responses here has shown you what others think of your body. You have a beautiful body and I would be very proud to be in your skin.

    I know that you feel there is plenty to improve on, but anything from here is just refinement because you have an awesome body right now.

    You’re inspiration for me and I MIGHT some day get the courage to post here too. Thanks.

  11. Milia Says:
    January 21st, 2010 at 6:59 am

    Thanks for everyone’s comment. I had tears in my eyes reading those beautiful words from everyone. I guess, I do really need some help. I still have bad days where I just sit somewhere and cry. My sexual relationship with my husband is non-existent. I feel foreign and unattrative..Is this PPD? It has been almost 5 months..I dont know how long PPD can last.. and certainly don’t know anything that would help me to get over it.

  12. doni Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 1:03 am

    Like everyone said before, you look beautiful! Seriously, I’m jelous, I’m 28 and the same height as you and my son is aboutto turn 1 and I WISH I looked as good as you! I understand how you must feel though, I had a really hard time adjusting to being a mom and my new body after I had my son. I ended up going to talk to a therapist a few times because I was just holding my son crying and feeling bad about myself. I started to feel like my old self after about 5 months. You just have to give yourself a break. Your hormones have been on a roller coaster for 22 months and your body has physically done so much for you. You are a very brave woman and mother and your babies love you no matter what you look like on the outside (which is amazing!). Don’t be afraid to let your doctor know how you feel, you may very well be going through some PPD. Just know your not alone in how your feeling, a lot of new moms go through this. Good luck with everything and be proud of what your body has done for you :)

  13. Courtney Says:
    March 1st, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    I’m sorry, but you look AMAZING!! I, too had 2 C-sections, and I am no where close to what I was before I had my kids. My boys are 3 1/2 years old and 1 1/2 years old and I’m STILL working on getting the weight off and the flabby loose skin off as well. You truley do not need to loose any more weight. If you want to tone your belly, ab workouts are what you need to do. :)

  14. Enid Says:
    November 24th, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    I know this was posted a few years ago but I am writing a post anyway.
    Children sure are such blessings..
    Hope you are well. I am very curious on how you are after writting your first post. ( hoping there is hope for me too ).
    I have three boys (6 years, 4 years and 5 week old). My last son was born via c section and OMG has it knocked me for a six!!!! After having two natural births and bouncing straight back to my pre-pregnancy weight I too am feeling very disapointed and depressed on how my body looks now after this procedure! I KNOW it will take time, I AM aware my body has just been through a major operation AND many people tell me how great I am looking considering what my body has been through BUT knowing all this has not stopped me from having the feelings I am having RIGHT NOW!!! I tried to look at my body and think positive thoughts ( as I use to be a VERY positive person until now ) but this is not helping. After my second son I suffered from PND so I am convinced this is a different feeling. I was never a ‘skinny’ girl and never claim to be anything special but now I have this’pouch’ and I am so terrified of how my husband views me. He tells me how good I look and loves me not matter but I can not see how he could. I was never one to shy away from him seeing me naked but I can honestly say I can not imagine him ever seeing me naked again!! SO, this brings me back to wondering how you were feeling today about yourself…

  15. Laura Says:
    April 27th, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    I also have a 5 week old, my 3rd c sect, and feel the same way. I do not believe my husband that he thinks I look good. I think he is lieing to spare my feelings. I also will undress for bed in the dark so I don’t gross him out. I am walking a lot, dieting, but at a stand still with the bludge and my weight. I get plenty of sunshine here in Arizona, and try to sleep enough, but feeling rather depressed. At least I’m not the only one here, but still feel very alone. I feel so shallow to care this much about my figure, I have a healthy baby, some women are not as lucky. But then why can’t I shut off my self pitty button and just appreciate my healthy beautiful family??? Helplessly pathetic!

  16. Maria Briones Says:
    March 6th, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    Hi you look good I had two c sactions and I use to weight 100 befor and now I weigh 137 and is bean so hard to loose my belly fat and I get mad and despered to lose it I knees help to get in shape.

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