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A Child Having a Child (Anonymous)

April 11, 2013

A child having a child

Age: 22
Number of pregnancies:1
Age of child:4

When I was a little girl,I used to love playing with my baby dolls. I would plan out my life by playing house everyday with my dolls. Perfect house,perfect job, and a perfect family. All I wanted was a perfect life like I would see on t.v. While I grew into my early teens I met the love of my life. Every min I spent with him I knew he was that one that I wanted to spend the perfect life I had always dreamt of. I used to lay in bed and just think how bad I wanted to start my family right away. As silly as it sounds I would think on how to ask my mom if I could of a baby. I always wanted to tell her it would be the only Christmas and birthday present I wanted.

At the age of 15 I found out that I failed the 9th grade for the second time. Not because I wasn’t smart but because I would skip to much school. I was in the process of dropping out.. Until I learned I was pregnant.

I got pregnant at age 16. I was scared. I didn’t know anything about having a baby. I was just a baby myself. I took that right path and stayed in school for my daughter. Since I achieved a lot in school I was allowed to graduate 1 year earlier then when I was suppose to. I continued my education in becoming a medical assistant. It was a rocky road to get where I am today but I made it. I now have the perfect job that I wanted. I married my high school sweetheart and now have our perfect family. There’s just one thing that I’m missing… My self confidence.

I had to grow up fast and make sacrifices for my new family. I couldn’t go out to the pools with my friends like I used to or go shopping because of the weight I gained. I cry every time I think about how skinny I used to be. Even tho my husband tells me how he loves for who I am and how I look but I don’t feel like myself hiding in this fat suit. Everyday I would love to just pull my zipper down and take off my suit but I can’t. I now live in this body forever.

I try to diet, I try to work out, and I try to make healthier choices but I give up to fast. i just sit back and say to myself” yeah right who are trying to fool you cant do this just give up already.”The girl in the mirror stands and laughs at me and tell me there is no hope. I wanna beat this girl and tell her shes wrong but it’s too late she already won.

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10 Responses to “A Child Having a Child (Anonymous)”

  1. Michele Says:
    April 11th, 2013 at 8:13 am

    First of all you are special and beautiful. You can change what you see in the mirror and what you do not like. You say you give up too fast with exercise and diet? Maybe make it a point to prove to yourself that you won’t give up so fast, you do not have to ACCEPT anything that you do not like or want in your life. Start to make it a point to exercise three to four times a week, you can start with walking and drinking plenty of water daily and just watching what you eat, try to eat fruits, veggies, fish, chicken and stay away from more of the greasy, fast food joints. I know that this will work for I am living proof. I had a baby five mths ago, I went up to 208lbs from 160 lbs and I weighed in two days ago back at 160 lbs and I am 36 years old, third child. You can do it, it takes motivation and wanting what is best for you. If you want help, than let me know here and send me your email and I will be more than happy to help you out. Much love, be encouraged.

  2. Kayla Says:
    April 11th, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    You are beautiful and strong. You did what most in your situation would not have. You continued on to have your perfect life and you faught hard to get there. Use the fight you had to get where you are to get where you want your body to be. You have the strength and power to do it, look how much you’ve done already. I have faith in you.

  3. Leah Says:
    April 11th, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Look how beautiful you are! You have lovely, soft curves. Are you healthy? If you are, then I would say embrace the body you have! It’s the body that your husband loves and that gave you your beautiful baby. It’s only society telling you to hate yourself. Say to them what you would say to anyone saying something nasty to you. I will let you fill in that blank yourself! Peace to you!

  4. sara Says:
    April 11th, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    I have a similar story to you I had my child younger (pregnant at 20) and I hated my body. I am 11 months PP and up to 3 months ago I dieted and worked out and gave up quite easily but now that I am on course with working out and eating healthy (cheat days are included) I have lost 15 lbs and I feel amazing! I’m still far from being skinny but I embrace it. Stop looking at each and every flaw you think you may have and focus on what you have created and what a wonderful mom you are being to your lil’ babe. You are beautiful the way you are! You have curves and they are beautiful!!! If you give up on your diet easily maybe start off slowly by cutting one thing out of your diet a week and easing yourself in to it. Losing weight does not happen over night and think of it this way… the longer it takes to come off the longer it stays off!! :) Be confident in you! You ARE BEAUTIFUL! :)

  5. Anonymous Says:
    April 11th, 2013 at 7:44 pm

    Thank you ladies! Each and everyone of you has put a smile on my face today. Totally needed it after the day I had! :)

    Xoxo

  6. Stephanie Says:
    April 12th, 2013 at 8:46 am

    Part of success is knowing there will be times you fail and that you CAN bounce back. It will be a new lifestyle for you and that is HARD but it is worth it. Not for what everyone else will say, but how you will feel and how you will carry yourself. It’s not about a size, but how you feel in clothes. Being able to just throw something on and not have to agonize. I understand. It’s hard, and some days are flippin hard but it IS worth it. I met a woman today who is 71 and started working out 9 years ago. You should have seen the joy in her face. Does she have a ‘perfect’ body? No, but she has a life. One filled with quality, energy, joy, and purpose! You are really young and you have SO much life ahead of you!

  7. Natalie Says:
    April 12th, 2013 at 9:16 am

    You sound like you gave up on the body that you want. Why? You accomplished so much this far. When the odds were against you, you gave life to your baby, graduated high school, went on with your education and got married. So why give up now? You can get the body you want and you will if you put work into it. I can and I will – that’s what I kept telling myself in my weight loss journey. I think what will help you is to have accountability partner. You won’t give up so easily if you have someone to hold you accountable.

  8. Sara Says:
    April 13th, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    I know exactly how you feel! The body I want seems so unattainable some days. Then other days it seems within reach. The days that I manage a workout and give my body good food I feel like I can see the finish line. Motivation is in the process of doing. Tell yourself that over and over when you feel like giving up. Don’t give up on something you want that will make you feel good about yourself and more importantly make you the healthiest version of yourself. I won’t give up if you won’t!

  9. Sarah Says:
    April 14th, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    Wow, you have gone through a lot and you have succeeded when it was most difficult and where others have failed. Use that POWER toward your next goal: a healthy lifestyle or a body you’re happier with. I believe that you can do anything you want. You’ve proven it in the past. Every day you feel like giving up, feel that power rise up inside of you. Use that power! Go for it! Strive for your next goal! :)

  10. Jenay Says:
    April 17th, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    I am a person who has gone through many things. Childbearing is not one of them. I am a lesbian. I was 17 when I decided to be involved with a pregnant woman. She was stunning. despite her scars and already having bore one child.
    The woman I am with now once had the tendency to get down on herself because of her appearance. She was once 230 lbs, yes that is overweight, but it was not me telling her she looked bad. I have always thought my love is beautiful. it has never changed.
    A small portion of her issue was the influence of society. The biggest issue was herself. her confidence, her lack of motivation, were the things that held her back.
    She decided to take control, she decided to be her own dietician and fitness coordinator. She was inspired by a lot of pain and loss that told her that she is not dead, that told that she can be who she wants to be, that it would not be instant, but it would be worth. And regardless she would need to love herself above all.
    6 months later, she has lost 60 lbs, and she is happier than ever. If your attitude is negative, and defeating, you will fail. You can do it, You can. All it take is one positive affirmation after another. And ignoring super models.

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