I have posted to this website once before, almost two years ago. As I am sitting and typing this I am going in with a very different mindset than I had the last time I posted. I am now 8 months post partum with my second daughter weighing in at 145 pounds. I still have 15 pounds to lose to be at my pre-pregnancy weight but this time I am taking it slow. After I had my first daughter 2 years ago, I knew that I loved her and I loved to breastfeed her. Now with my second daughter I know that I love her and love breastfeeding her. I do not however love the stretch marks that pregnancy and breastfeeding have given me on my breasts. I do not love the fact that my stomach is no longer toned like it used to be and I really do not like the stretch marks that I’ve gained. I didn’t get any new stretch marks with the second baby which was great and they are fading now which is even better. I thought after my first daughter that my body was ruined and it wasn’t good enough for my husband to look at. He only ever made me feel that way because of some unfortunate porn viewing (which has now stopped for a year). It took me a long time to realize that his porn viewing was not because of the stretch marks and weight gain, it was something in him. We are now doing amazing and parenting together the way we should. My girls make me so happy but, up until 2 months ago I was suffering some post partum depression. I dealt with it by talking things out with whoever I could. I know that part of the depression was feeling terrible about my body. Everywhere I look there is a woman who is supposed to be ‘perfect’ and that was really getting to me because I am not perfect. I am not a model or a porn star or anything else that is made to look flawless. I am me, with stretch marks, weight gain, extra skin, things that I was not used to before. I am not only used to these things but I accept them, because I have learned to accept myself on the inside. The things that are on the outside are the least of my worries now. That’s not to say that I don’t struggle somedays because I do, but I bet EVERYONE does. I still want to lose 20 pounds but that’s because of toning up and being at an optimal health level for me and maybe one day if I am terribly unsatisfied with my breasts after weaning, I may get implants. People can judge me for that, I don’t care because I am the one who will deal with the consequences and rewards. If a spray tan or makeup or a new outfit makes you feel more confident and sexy then I say go for it (obviously surgery is much more serious). A breast augmentation will also depend on how I feel it will affect my daughters later in life. I always want my daughters to feel beautiful and I plan to lead by example and if I ever have a son I want him to respect women for the bodies they have, not the bodies they could have from photoshop or airbrushing. I am happy with who I am, the wife I am, and most of all the MOM that I am. I may want to make some physical changes, but is anyone ever completely happy with every single part of their body? I don’t think so, I don’t feel any shame in wanting to make changes that will please ME not anyone else. Attached are pictures of my body 8 months post partum with my second daughter. Don’t mind the hole in the wall in the side view picture, it was here when we moved in.