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3rd baby-stillborn 40 weeks (Anonymous)

March 12, 2007

Our beautiful baby girl was sill born Jan.26, 2007. We had no idea that she would not be coming home with us that day. We were scheduled for a c-section (my 2nd one) she was breech just like her brother before her. My 1st baby was textbook and a vaginal delivery. She was moving around just fine the night before so when the Dr. told us that there was no heartbeat and that we would be delivering a stillborn baby we were devastated. The cord had 2 knots and was wrapped 4 times around her neck. She was fully formed and beautiful. We are still healing, but take great comfort in knowing that God had a special purpose for her: there were several women who spoke of a healing and closure that came from her funeral or from holding her shortly after her birth. We are looking forward to meeting her in Heaven again one day.

(the image is beautiful, yet very sad, so I made this one a link)
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Updated herehere and here.

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141 Responses to “3rd baby-stillborn 40 weeks (Anonymous)”

  1. Janice Says:
    March 12th, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My third daughter was born in June this past year and lived only 7 hours. Grieving and healing is a long, painful process but we take comfort as well, knowing we’ll see her again one day.

    Janice
    babycatcher33@livejournal.com

  2. McBeth Says:
    March 12th, 2007 at 10:17 pm

    she was, and remains, so lovely. She came to good people and, the way I see it, you’ll have an amazing reunion one day.

    Thank you for sharing what I imagine is probably a slightly raw-feeling tender experience.

  3. sarah Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 1:25 am

    You are so strong and brave and so is your beautiful baby. Thank you for sharing.

  4. April Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 4:51 am

    Your daughter is beautiful. I can’t even begin to imagine how painful it was to loose her. Thank you for sharing her with us.

  5. Elizabeth Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 5:34 am

    My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story. Blessings to you.

  6. Danielle Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 5:53 am

    I”m so sorry for your loss. I also just lost my 3rd baby on Feb 13,2007 just 1 month ago. She was stillborn at 7 months. One day she was moving fine, the next she was gone. I had a c-section cause she was breech and we got to spend time with her and bury her. We still don’t know the cause, but she was a beautiful baby.
    We are both greiving right now but our little girls will hold a special place in our hearts forever. And we will most definitely meet them again in heaven, I long for that day… Please feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to( endl98@juno.com).

  7. Pam Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 6:44 am

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Your daughter is just beautiful. I know your pain. My third daughter was stillborn. I found out when I went in to deliver her at 41 weeks one day that she had passed. She was moving the night before as well. It was just devastating. 4 years later and my heart is still broken. Life gets easier but the whole in your heart stays forever.((Hugs and Prayers to you and your family))

  8. Breanna Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 8:12 am

    Oh, honey. I am so sorry. What a beautiful little girl.

  9. Robyn Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 8:43 am

    Oh wow, my heart aches for you…
    I’m not a mother yet – but I can only imagine how difficult that would be. You sound like a very strong woman – I wish peace for you all during such a difficult time. Thank you for sharing your story.

  10. Melinda Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 10:38 am

    I cannot imagine your grief. With our second child on the way I realize the dangers so much more this time around. I am so sorry for your loss and please know although you may not know me I can only offer a prayer for you and your beautiful baby girl.

  11. Rebekah Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 10:51 am

    Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. I have no doubt that you will meet her again and get to hold her in your arms. What a gorgeous little angel. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could help. I pray for healing for you and your family. (((hugs)))

  12. MMM Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 11:27 am

    SO SORRY for your loss. Glad to know that you believe she’s with God and that you will be reunited one day. That’s the only way to get through this ~ faith.

  13. Arijana Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    I am about to have my second son and i just want to tell you that i am very sorry for your loss. I clicked on the link and i saw your daughter. Very beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. I can even imagine what you are going through. You and your family are in my thoughts

  14. KodisMom Says:
    March 13th, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    I know there arent any words that will make the pain stop, but I want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers. Your angel will wait for your arrival at heavens gate, God bless.

  15. Diane Says:
    March 14th, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    I exclaimed aloud after seeing your daughter’s picture “Oh, beautiful girl!” Thank you so much for sharing her picture here.

  16. Kate Says:
    March 14th, 2007 at 9:44 pm

    What a gorgeous baby girl. Her little lips are absolutely perfect. I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray that time will ease your pain. Thank you for being so brave as to share your story.

  17. Sarah Says:
    March 15th, 2007 at 11:09 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers this evening.

  18. Lee Vining Says:
    March 16th, 2007 at 2:24 pm

    Hon I can’t even imagine what that ust feel like to carry a baby for 40 weeks and then lose her…..my prayers go out to you. Thank you for sharing your story.

  19. Jamie Carney Says:
    March 16th, 2007 at 8:23 pm

    I think you have made a very healing choice to share your daughter and your experience with everyone. I lost my daughter Leah in my 6th month of pregnancy. Words cannot express the devestation we felt, and still feel today (9 years and three kids later). I decided to join a group called Sidelines where women who have experienced pregnancy loss go on to support women going thru a pregnancy after a loss. It is a wonderful was to keep the memory alive by helping others. I think the site is sidelines.org if anyome is interested, otherwise email me at jamiecarney1@hotmail.com. Hugs to you!

  20. Tiffany Says:
    March 17th, 2007 at 3:05 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. You and your family are my thoughts and prayers (btw, I think your daughter’s picture is beautiful).

  21. Kati Says:
    March 21st, 2007 at 6:23 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My first (only, so far) was stillborn 11/25/06. It was also a complete surprise (shoulder dystocia with her cord caught between her shoulder and my pelvis bone) Your angel is so beautiful!

  22. emma Says:
    March 23rd, 2007 at 2:45 pm

    god bless you. xx xx xx xx xx

  23. Nicole Says:
    March 23rd, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    Beautiful! She is beautiful and always will be. I agree with the pp that you will be reunited one day, and what a day that will be! I cannot begin to imagine or pretend the grief you must be feeling. But I pray you will grieve and heal. My best friend gave birth to two beautiful girls: one was born still and the other passed on to join her sister at 5 days old. That dear friend said that this type of loss you never ‘get over’ you just ‘get through’.

  24. Cynthia Kelly Says:
    March 25th, 2007 at 7:13 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your picture moved me. I am a new mom of a daughter, and I can’t imagine your pain. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  25. Renee Buss Says:
    March 27th, 2007 at 1:01 am

    Your baby girl is absoloutely beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss, I also have a little angel, stillborn at 37 weeks due to an umbilical cord accident. She will be with you always watching over you until you can hold her again! I’ll pray for you and your family!

  26. bethcw Says:
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:37 pm

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for being so brave & sharing your story. Your daughter is beautiful. YOu are in my thoughts & I hope you can find solace in knowing she is with God.

  27. Linda Says:
    April 1st, 2007 at 8:48 pm

    So sorry to hear about your lost.Your daughter is so beautiful. We just lost our first grandaughter on March 28th at 36 weeks. She had her cord wrapped twice around her neck and then knotted. Our hearts are so broken for our children and her loss. I never imagined that this would happen. Thank you for sharing and God bless you and your family.

  28. Jennifer Says:
    April 1st, 2007 at 8:51 pm

    Heartbreakingly sad and yet achingly beautiful, both the photo and the sweetness within. I cannot even fathom what you are going through, but my tears think and speak better for me. She is lovely and you will meet her again. Souls do not fade as quickly as the body that carries them.

  29. Alsha Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your daughter was beautiful. I have to boys, 4 1/2, and 2 years ols. Two weeks ago on March 28th, 2007 my husband and I gave birth to our first daughter. I was six months pregnant and she was born stillbirth.. Yet still born. It is hard for me to coop with. I want to try again but I am so scared we will have to go through this again. Are you or did you try again. Is there any advise you can give to me. I am ready to take any advise anyone can generously give me. I dont think this is fair for anyone to have to go through. Hearing others stories does help me get through and knowing that we are not alone. thanks for sharing and god bless.

  30. Lylah Says:
    April 8th, 2007 at 9:24 am

    I am so sorry, my son died 2 years ago at 40 weeks, he had long, thick black hair and weighed over 10 pounds (cord accident) and it happened at home! I almost died myself, and would gladly give my life if he were here instead of me. Today would be his 2nd birthday.

  31. stephanie Says:
    April 9th, 2007 at 8:14 pm

    so sorry about your loss. your daughter is absolutely beautiful. our first born son was born still at 8 months on November 29, 2004 with no known reason as to why but I can understand the grief you are going through and my advice is that the grief does seem to get less as time goes by but actually give yourself time to grieve and understand the emotions you are going through. take care

  32. Bon Says:
    April 11th, 2007 at 8:35 am

    thank you for sharing your little girl with us. she is beautiful.

    amazing how your post brings so many of us out of our silence…how many of us there are who didn’t get to bring our babies home. my firstborn, who died 11 hours after birth, should be two at the end of this month.

    i’m so sorry. and so grateful to you for having the courage to share your daughter with us.

  33. Christa Says:
    April 11th, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    She is beautiful!
    So sorry for your loss, hun.

  34. emilie Says:
    April 12th, 2007 at 6:45 pm

    Your baby is perfect and so beautiful. I wish you and your family strength and joy again someday. Thank you for sharing her.

  35. April Says:
    April 13th, 2007 at 12:24 am

    Your daughter is so beautiful, thank you for sharing her with us.

  36. Lungi Says:
    April 13th, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful daughter with us. May God bless you and all the women who lost children. Remember that your sweet children are with you always.

  37. cecilia greenhalgh Says:
    April 14th, 2007 at 9:32 am

    I just lost my son at 38 weeks gestation. He was stillborn on April 2nd. He had a knot in the umbilical cord and it was wrapped around his neck 4 times!!!
    Did you have an autopsy to find out how this happened? I am waiting for my autopsy results, but our stories are so similar!
    I am trying to find a reason behind this, although there may never be a reason discovered… I just don’t want this to happen to us again. The doctor did mention that the cord was unusually long, and I wonder why that was.
    I pray that you and your family are doing well. I have two boys ages 2 and 4, and it is hard on them as well. I know how you feel, and for me, putting it in God’s hands has made it easier to accept. Easier, but not easy.
    ~Cecilia

  38. Michele Says:
    April 15th, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing your story and your beautiful daughter. God bless you!

  39. Amy Says:
    April 19th, 2007 at 11:00 pm

    Oh, my Lord. I’m SO very sorry for your pain and your loss. Your beautiful angel. She’s running through green fields and tulips, blue skies and sunshine right now.

  40. Rhonda Says:
    May 1st, 2007 at 8:01 pm

    There are no words to describe the loss of your child! She is beautiful! I, too, lost my baby girl. She was 18 days old and would have been 6 in 2 weeks. (She was born with a diaphragmatic hernia) I do have 2 healthy boys now, but my heart still aches for her! God bless you and your family.

  41. Tamika Says:
    June 14th, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    I would like to start off by saying you are so brave in everyway it is this is a loss that only God knows why always know you will see her again thank you so much for your story. God Love You

  42. Tiffany Says:
    June 16th, 2007 at 1:24 am

    My heart goes out to you and all the mothers who posted here who have lost a child.. I can’t imagine the pain and sorrow of something like that..I’ve cried reading this whole page.. I was thinking how something like that could have easily happened to me. My 1st son had a lot of distress during labor, he had to be turned and delivered with forcepts and then to discover that he had the cord wrapped around his neck twice. He is 2 years old now, mean as a snake but in perfect health. Thank you for being strong enough to share your story with us, and she is a perfect little girl. God had a reason for taking her you may not understand why now. But one day you will be together again and what a wonderfull day that will be!

  43. Lia Says:
    June 19th, 2007 at 2:08 am

    God… Shes BEAUTIFUL. She has been chosen for a reason. She is with my son that I lost three years ago, 39 weeks stillborn. She is not alone and you are not alone either. I know exacly how you are feeling… keep strong and some day you will be happy like I am now, I gave birth to a healthy little girl last year. My thoughts are with you… xxx

  44. melissa Says:
    July 27th, 2007 at 2:59 am

    Your little girl is beautiful, my nephew was stillborn at 41 weeks on the 16th march 2007 there was no reason for his death apart from being to over due. he to died during labour. It’s good that people are able to talk about their Angels openly now maybe more will be done to provent things like this from happening so oftern. my thought’s are with you and your baby girl. xx

  45. bonnie Says:
    July 28th, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    I just want to say that being overdue is not a cause for death. Many, many babies are born even at 43 weeks pregnancy with no problems.

  46. Cindy Says:
    September 3rd, 2007 at 6:58 pm

    I am truly, truly sorry for your loss. Your story is so familiar to me…our second son was stillborn 5 days after my due date because of a knot in his cord, on March 22, 2007. My heart aches with yours. I know that we will be reunited with our beautiful babies someday.

  47. Ashley Says:
    September 29th, 2007 at 11:23 am

    I’ve read your story, and your comments. Each one is telling you that “God had a reason”, or “They’re in heaven and you will be reunited”. I am glad so many of them have so much faith, but I am not going to sit here and tell you that.

    I have never been a mother and I can only guess at your pain, but I do have an inkling of an idea what it is like to lose something you have cared for and raised. I have lost well over 30 pets in my life due to cars, poison from neighbors, or a house fire, and I have loved them all like a child.

    Seeing these stories brought that pain back, and I know it’s no where near the same but it helps me understand the slightest bit. I won’t tell you that god had a plan or your daughter is in heaven because I don’t know. I don’t go to church and I don’t really have a religion.

    I will tell you however that your daughter had a purpose EVEN as a still born. It was to make others think, maybe there was something about her that the doctors could study, I don’t know. I do know that your daughter’s story, your story, has brought out a lot of people, a lot of which have lost children whether first or third and boy or girl.

    Your daughter is helping to bring them together even from beyond the grave. She was a beautiful little girl and I am sorry for your loss. It scares me that this could happen considering my husband and I are trying to have our first.

  48. Judy Says:
    October 6th, 2007 at 8:55 pm

    I am so sorry about your loss and pray that God gives you continued strength, grace and deep peace always.

    Thank you for sharing your loss with us — not only verbally, but the picture of your beautiful baby girl.

    Please know that she lives on in spirit and her life is a source of encouragement — having seen her picture will help me help my daughter as she delivers her stillborn baby.

  49. George Says:
    November 10th, 2007 at 8:31 am

    Good site! I’ll stay reading! Keep improving!

  50. Julie Says:
    November 12th, 2007 at 2:43 pm

    I just lost my first baby, (2nd pregnancy though, first was a miscarrage last December) tormorrow it will be 3 weeks since I learned that there was no heart beat. I was 41 weeks and 2 days and was due to be induced just two days later.

    Reading other comments on here are helping me to at least realized I’m not alone. Sad part, is I wish I was alone in this.

  51. ag Says:
    November 13th, 2007 at 3:52 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story & showing us your beautiful little angel. I can relate as I just lost my 1st baby at 37 weeks less than a week ago. My heart aches with yours & with all the other ladies who have lost their little angels.

  52. melissa Says:
    November 20th, 2007 at 9:28 am

    im sorry about ur loss and to let u know ur not alone i lost my son at 29.4 weeks gestation but its been almost 2 years that i lost him and i miss him more and more each day i dont think any1 could ever get over that but yes god did have a purpose for the babies and its hard to say but till this day im scared to get pregnant becuz im scared it will happen again

  53. Kyeemah Says:
    November 24th, 2007 at 7:55 pm

    Sorry to hear of your loss. I myself have had 2 stillborns they were my second and third pregnancy at 24 &30 weeks i have gone on to have healthy little girl it was the most terrifying time of my life being pregnant with her and anything that didn’t feel right i was at the doctors straight away I too was scared of this happening again. my losses don’t get easier with time i believe that they never will.Take your time to work out what is best for you.

  54. Adele Says:
    November 30th, 2007 at 9:10 am

    Just reading your message, So sorry about your beauitful baby girl. I know how hard it is i believe that one day we will all meet again in a trouble free life.
    Myself and my husband have lost our son (still born) at 38weeks, Harry John, beautiful big baby 9lb 10oz. still waiting results of post mortem.
    We are trying to concieve again,
    Keep strong, Adele xx

  55. Jennifer Cole Says:
    December 13th, 2007 at 11:35 am

    Hey there,
    I am so very sorry for your loss-I came upon your website while trying to find some form of comfort-My husband and I delivered our precious baby girl on Sep. 4th 2007, just 3 months ago and every single day is so hard-we had no idea-I had actually went to the doctor stating her movements had slacked 1 week before I delivered and he said I was fine and she was fine but I was in labor for 6 hours and no one had any idea not even the doctors-one minute my husband was ready to cut the umbilical cord, ready to hold our baby girl and in that same very second our whole world came crashing down.. She is our first child and I know she is in heaven and we will see her again, and that helps but it still hurts so bad-I know that people handle things differently so no I may or may not know exactly how you feel, but just know that your not alone….God Bless you and your family!!!

  56. Lisa Says:
    December 28th, 2007 at 8:32 am

    My sister’s best friend’s daughter is in labor right now with a stillborn little girl. She went to the doctor yesterday and everything was fine but early this morning she started to go into labor and they cannot find a heartbeat. They did an ultrasound of the baby’s heart and they said it was not beating. She is 9 days over her due date. This is their first baby and I just saw her on Christmas day! She was so excited and beautiful. I lost my 19 year old son in a car accident and I don’t wish this grief on anyone…I am crying for them now as this brings up so many painful thoughts and memories of what they have to come. Please pray for Brittany and Brian and their baby girl Brylee.

  57. Kim Moreno Says:
    December 28th, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    You baby girl was so beautiful. I’m am so sorry for your loss. I too just lost my baby boy Xavier Franciso Moreno at 39 weeks due to a true knot in his umbilical cord. I felt him moving the day before my appointment where the doctor told me there was no heartbeat. When he told me that I felt like I died myself. I never imagined loosing one of my children. Xavier was my 3rd child. I will always wonder how he would. Its been 2 months and it still feels like it was just yesterday.

    Our angels are with the Lord and one day I know we will be reunited with them. In the meantime they will watch over us and occasionally visit us in our dreams.

    Thank you for sharing your story and beautiful picture of you baby girl.

  58. Lindsay Says:
    December 31st, 2007 at 6:39 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. You have a beautiful baby girl. I too know your pain. I delivered a stillborn baby girl on Nov 15th. I was 37 weeks and she was 6lbs 1oz. People saw her moving in my belly just two days before i delivered. We found out when my water broke and we rushed to the hospital and the nurse said there was no heartbeat. We too were devasted for this was our first baby. Fear not because our babies are in a better place smiling down on us and we will be with them one day!

  59. Jill Wood Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    I feel your pain. My daughter was born stillborn in September 1995. It still feels like yesterday.

  60. lynne waller Says:
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    I really feel for you. My sister-in-law went in to labour on christmas eve (her due date was christmas day). She was told there was no heart beat and had a beautiful daughter, Holly, still born on christmas day. We will never forget our christmas angel! I wish there was something I could do to ease her pain. Janaury 9th 2008

  61. Alisa Says:
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    Your site has help me in my moment of pain. My sister just found out last night that her baby had passed on, with just 6 weeks left to her due date. My heart is broken for them and all of you who have had to go through this tragic event.

  62. Jaime Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    My first child, a son Evan Clements Maynard was stillborn on Christmas Eve at 41 weeks 3 days gestation, he was perfectly healthy the day before, I went into labour, went to the hospital and they could not find a heartbeat.
    We have a picture perfect pregnancy and thus far the autopsy has not shown any possible cause so we are just left with giant question marks as to how this can happen.
    It terrifies me that my entire world can blown apart in a microsecond, I want a family more then anything but I am just horrified at the possibility of this happening again. Especially when we don’t know how Evan died this time. Cord and placenta were both normal and fine, baby or I had no infections, he had no birth defect so we are left with these giant question marks.
    Its so hard.

  63. brittany lewis Says:
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:51 am

    Losing your child is very painful.I lost my beautiful daughter on december 7 2007. Not a minute goes by that i dont think about her asking “What if?”

  64. sharon jennings Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    so sorry for ur loss. my name is sharon and im 21. i had a beautiful baby daughter Addison Beth on the 2nd of jan 2008 but she was stillborn.my due date was the 25th of jan 2008. i was told 2wks before i gave birth that the heart had stopped…
    i cant stop crying,i miss her so much…
    do time really heal???

  65. Michelle Says:
    March 5th, 2008 at 2:00 am

    I know what you are going through. I lost my baby last week (25/02/2008) – i was 7 months pregnant and didnt feel him move on sunday, monday when i went to the doctor, His had no heart beat, they had to do the ceaser that evening. It is still so hard for me, i miss my baby boy so much

  66. Addy Says:
    April 2nd, 2008 at 8:01 am

    I lost my first baby boy Osker on March 19th at 37 weeks. No reason why that they can tell, just went in for my weekly checkup and his heart had stopped. It’s soooo hard,I just feel like such a failure. I hate it that web sites like this have to exist but it does make me feel better knowing that we are all here for one another. So sorry about everyones loss. I loved hearing though about healthy happy babies born after somthing like this happens. Good luck for everyone trying again and best wishes and BIG HUGS to anyone that somthing like this has ever happened too.

  67. Karena Mullane Says:
    April 10th, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    I lost my third child at 39 weeks on August 13th 2001. She was also alive and kicking all day and then i thought my waters had gone so i went in to have her only to be told she had died. Its so hard to explain to anyone the pain that you go through constantly. The picture of your baby is so beautiful, Although Hollie died on the 13th it took three days to have her, therefore her pictures are beautiful to me but not so pleasant for anyone else to see, so its hard to share her with anyone.I have since had another beautiful daughter Faye, and i can honestly say time is a healer but i still think of Hollie every day. God Bless you and be proud to show off your beautiful baby.

  68. veronica Says:
    April 10th, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    I know how these mothers feel. I lost my baby girl who was born still on april 8 2008. I went in for a level 2 ultrasound on wednesday april 5th and everthing was normal. We saw her heart beating nice and strong. I went the following Monday 4-7-08 and my ob could not find her heartbeat. It is the most devasting thing to hear “im sorry but your baby has died”. I went to the hospital that same day to be induced and delivered her vaginaly the next day. I feel so alone the sight and sounds of a new baby is just too much for me right now. I would like to have another child but is too afraid of this happening again. My heart aches for the daughter I lost.

  69. Jo Jo Says:
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:30 am

    My prayers are with you!
    Your baby is so beautiful…thank you for sharing her with us….
    My niece just lost her first son at 40 weeks, with no known reason as of yet…
    It is so horrible and so very hard to accept or understand….My heart goes out to all!

  70. Ro Says:
    April 20th, 2008 at 10:43 am

    I’m sorry for all of you women who has lost your little angels…My heart goes out to each and every one of you. My sister-in-law just lost her 2nd child 2 days ago.( Stillborn) I wanted to know are there any support groups because right now she does not want to talk to anyone and she is very depressed which is understandable.If anyone knows of any please post.Thanks

  71. Stephanie Says:
    April 25th, 2008 at 10:53 am

    I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. Your story is so very similar to mine. Jan. 21, 2008 I went in to be induced. My daughter, Breylie, didn’t have a heartbeat. Just days before all was fine. I delievery her 6 hours after finding out she died. She have her umbilical cord around her neck and she had a true knot in her cord also. She was 8 lbs. 1 oz. and so very preicous. Just knowing we will see her someday keeps us going…

  72. Krissy Says:
    May 1st, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    I’m so so so sorry that all of you have had to go through this. I lost my second dear daughter at 36 weeks on 27 February 2008. I had been in terrible discomfort for weeks and I got 1 million reasons for why it was normal to feel so uncomfortable. In truth, I had too much fluid, and had too much fluid for a while, and my baby passed away before in the 48 hours that passed after an office visit, but before the ultrasound. WHen I was leaving the office visit two days before I lost my baby girl, the receptionist asked me when I wanted to go for my u/s. i said as soon as possible. But it was too late.

    We do all have little angels, and we WILL see them in HEAVEN again someday.

    I pray that all of you heal and find the answers you’re looking for. We have to be strong for our other loved ones.

    Tomorrow I am going to get the puppy I’ve always wanted, a cavalier king charles spaniel. I am pretty excited.

  73. Renee Says:
    May 6th, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    I am so sorry for everyones losses.I too understand all of your pain. I lost my daughter just 2 days before my due date on March 25, 2008. I went into labor with her only to arrive at the hospital and have the nurses tell me that she was gone. I’m devestated beyond belief. My husband, son and I were so prepared for her. Her room sits empty and I cry for her all the time. She was absolutely perfect in every way, dark hair and perfect full lips. I miss her more than words can explain. I hope everyone finds peace and happiness someday. We all have very special angels in heaven and will see them again someday. For now, they are with us always, watching over our families. God Bless everyone.

  74. Jo Says:
    May 21st, 2008 at 11:39 am

    As i read everyones comments my heart breaks even more because it has made me realize we are not alone. It seems a stillborn baby is way too common.
    My baby girl was stillborn on 1st May 2008 at 40 weeks & 2 days. She was 8 pounds 3 oz and 20 1/2in long.
    I know we all grieve daily for our little ones and i don’t ever think it will get any easier. She was our first child that we wanted so badly. She was an extremely active baby that ended up getting her cord tied around her neck. We really want to have another child, but just the thought of it happening again is very scary. We all have so many unanswered questions, but all we need to remember is that our little angels are waiting for us and love us so much.

  75. Juann Says:
    May 29th, 2008 at 9:22 am

    Hi,
    My heart too is soooo broken. My sweet, precious Emmanuel Gabriel was born still on May 23, 2008, 3 weeks before his due date. He was 6lbs, 7ozs and 19 inches long. His umblical cord was twisted at his navel. He was extremely active the night before and the next morning I went into labor only to go to the hospital and be told that “there is no heartbeat”. I don’t understand why he was taken, but God knows. It is hard to accept but God still knows. I don’t know what His purpose or plan is, but there has to be one. I am comforted to know that one day we will see him again. My husband had such a beautiful dream of a Shepherd dressed in white with a staff in His hand. He was surrounded by lots of little white (purity) lambs. The Shepherd blew on His whistle and all the lambs came running to Him and He took the time to hug and to hold each lamb in His arms. Be comforted for we shall see them again on Heaven’s sweet shore.

  76. Wendi Lane Says:
    May 30th, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    I went to the doctor on April 29, 2008 for my 39th week check-up and my baby’s heartrate was 145 and two days later I returned to the doctor for something else and they went to check the baby’s heartbeat and we could not find it the nurse then took me to the ultrasound room to check the heartbeat I knew something was wrong when they left the room to get the doctor chills came over my body. The doctor came in and told me their was no heartbeat and I was in total shock I told them I had to call my boyfriend. After six calls in a row I told him that the baby was gone and come pick me up. I delivered my son Mason on May 4, 2008 he was 7 lbs and 6 ounces and 21 inches long. I am so devastated that my baby boy is gone and can barely get out of bed somedays, but I just trust that God is taking care of him and I will be with him again someday. Thank you all for sharing your stories and letting me share mine.

  77. Arabella Says:
    May 31st, 2008 at 11:43 am

    I logged on because I feel alone..alone with my loss and my deep dark thoughts; and what I found was a world where stillbirth all too often happens. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories and for the lovely picture. It is a “club” no one hopes to belong to but everyone I tell of my own loss,unfortunately has a similar story to tell . We lost our daughter in Sept 2006 at 7 months. It was our first child and we were really looking forward to having her. No reason, her heart just stopped. It seems impossible to move on and I am so scared to have another baby. I can’t even get pregnant now. May time and god heal us all.

  78. josy Says:
    June 1st, 2008 at 5:19 am

    hay im so very very sorrey for you loses i am not a mother i have 8 nieces and nephews and couldent imagin loosing one of them my friend at the age of 16 this year 3 months ago lost her baby still born he had the cord around his neck two times and a note in it once with his little hand inside the cord like he was pulling at it i saw him he wasent a pritty baby because he was decomposing but if you looked beond that he was buitiful i hope everything goes well for you and let your self feel the pain because it is a tramatic time for you and so hard best wishes

    Josy:

  79. Lisa Says:
    June 4th, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    May God bless you and your family and help you daily. 3 weeks ago on May 12, I went to the dr cause I hadn’t felt the baby move that day.It was 2weeks from the due date, and there was no heartbeat, he was gone. Placental abruption is all we know till after the autopsy. Our baby boy is with Jesus now.

  80. Shanna Hunter Says:
    June 10th, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    My daughter lost her baby boy Brody on April 25th 2008. He had five weeks to go. The cord was wrapped twice around the ankle and knee. We are all so devistated. I worry about my daughter so much, yes she is young 20. Many years to have children but will she be able to move on? I have pictues of my grandson that I will always cherish. He is my first Grandson and being that I have five kids I know I will be a grandmother one day. I two have a three month old that makes it hard. In my mind I want to give my little baby to her so she won’t ache? is this normal? Does time really heal? She tries so hard to put a smile on her face as she doesn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. She just wants to move on. Do you think it’s harder on someone that has actually experienced motherhood? or does that even matter.

    Feel free to email me with comments as we need them!

    shannahunter@hotmail.com

    God Bless you and your family!

  81. Claudia Says:
    June 12th, 2008 at 11:42 am

    May God bless you all mothers in this site. I, too have lost my baby boy Rivers Daniel H. on Feb.26,2008. Day before I had a Dr.appoint. and everything was fine. Next day woke-up and did not feel the baby move. His umbillical cord was kinked at his navel.38 weeks. I find myself 4 months later, missing him tremendously, trying to face the world without tears, and realizing that people around me at work avoid my subject (which is ok). I think of me as a pressure cooker, I let go of pressurized tears in the silence of my vehicle on my way home. There’s no such thing as getting over it, it’s living with grief, accepting the present, laughing when there’s humor, praying in silence, and finding someone or a means of communicating the hurt inside.

  82. Janice Russo Says:
    June 19th, 2008 at 9:27 am

    I am so sorry for all the mom’s that lost their precious little angels and hope that God helps all of you get through the terrible grief. June 16, 2008 her birthday my daughter-in-law at 38 weeks went to the doctor for her regular appointment. He heard a strong heartbeat and felt her move. Within an hour the baby died and we do not know why. She was a beautiful & perfect 7 1/2 lb. baby girl and their first. The pain was unbearable to see and hold a lifeless baby. So many questions with so little answers. My heart goes out to all.

  83. Enam Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    Im so sorry for all the moms who have gone through this terrable loss, i went through the same thing i gave birth on march 11,2008. to a beautiful baby boy 5 days before my due date, the worst part was that i went into the hospital and the nurse told me he was alive and my husband and i were so excited its our first child and we couldnt wait for him to come after i delivered and my husband cut the cord we find out that our baby is dead and later we found out that he had been dead for no more then 3 days. its the worst feeling in the world we were so devestated no one really understood what we were going through and they just told us we were still young and we can have as much kids as we want i know im only 18 but no matter how old you are if your a mother and you become pregnant no one really knows how you feel im so glad to find this site and share my feelings with everyone. my heart goes out to all the mothers

  84. Janice Russo Says:
    July 2nd, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    I posted on 6/19/08. My daughter-in-law lost baby Julia on 6/16 at 38 wks. The doctor’s results were that she (mom) has a rare genetic blood disorder called MTHFR. They found small clots in the placenta which cut of the blood supply to the baby that is why she did not survive. Internet research isn’t to promising. Anyone know of this?
    Thanks

  85. Ian Holt Says:
    July 2nd, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    I am very sorry for your loss, and also to all the other ladies that have lost a child whether stillborn or after birth. Your baby girl certainly is beautiful. I am feeling your loss intensly as I do know what you have gone through as my wife has just last night given birth to our little boy (he was 26 weeks). Unfortunately she is in the Philippines (she was there seeing her family) & had not felt any movement since the previous friday (6 days ago). She went to the local doctor in her village who said she should travel to hospital which was 3 hrs away. The hospital did several ultrasounds, etc & found no heartbeat or movement & so decided she need to be induced. After 2 days of stop/start labour pains & increasing blood pressure & heat rate they decided to do an emergency c-section. Thanks to God my wife came throught that ok, however now she is trying to recover & we are trying to come to terms with the fact we have lost our 1st little boy. He had somehow managed to get the cord wrapped around his little body & so stopped the flow of oxygen to him. I have been desperately searching the net since this morning to see what information I could get to help us & also to see if any support groups are around here near where we live in Sydney, Australia. I am very thankful I have found this site. And now I am travelling today from Sydney to be with my wife & bring her home. It is very difficult to express from a father’s side what I feel but the pain and sense of great loss is terrible, so what you ladies have gone through must be worse because you have carried your baby through the pregnancy. My heart goes out to you all. The only comfort I have is that Jesus holds our little boy in His arms & one day we will see him again, perfect in everyway.

    If anyone would like to comment or has any suggestions for support group/s in Sydney my wife & I would love to hear from you

    blondie6637@yahoo.com.au

    May the Lord Jesus bless each & everyone of you & give you the comfort & support that you need that only He can give

  86. christie Says:
    December 31st, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    Thank you so much for this site and the courage you all have to put your losses up here. we have good friends who were due with their first baby Lola on Christmas eve. Everything was fine, they heard the heartbeat on Tuesday, and that night she didn’t feel her moving very much. They called the hospital and the nurse told her to just drink cold water and that the baby was setting up for delivery. The next morning there was no movement, they went to the hospital, and their little girl had died sometime over that day and night. She was 7.5 pounds and healthy, but the cord was around her neck.

    We are saddened beyond belief by what has happened. I have an even deeper connection as I was born with the cord around my neck and that caused me much distress in my life. And, my husband and I had a miscarriage on Christmas 10 years ago, but we were just 4 weeks along.

    I’m so glad to have found your postings – they were the medicine we needed to know that our friends are not alone, even though this is so confusing and incomprehensible.

    Blessings to all of you and your families !

  87. Mechelle Says:
    January 3rd, 2009 at 10:34 pm

    I want you to know that you are so brave and that your daughter is beautiful. I just lost 18 days ago a beautiful baby boy named Logan. I delivered him at 23 weeks and he was stillborn. We mothers have to keep our heads high and just try to understand why this happens. We have to know that in our hearts God had other wonderful plans for them. I dont know how you do it everyday I know the feeling of having one gone. Stay strong and life will get better.

  88. Manuj Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 2:03 am

    This happened with us in Feb2005. Everything was normal and suddenly on the delivery day.

    Thanks for courage and positivity.

  89. karen Says:
    March 16th, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    hi, sorry to hear your sad story,i had a stillborn baby boy 8.2.03 according to my last period he was 19 days overdue. I didnt go into labour myself either. the hospital dates were acctually 8.2.03 but there were 3 weeks difference between them, we go by my dates and say the hospital was at fault. Daniel was very heavily induced on 7.2.03, i was drugged up so much i was asleep between contractions and after his birth which i am not happy about because my time with him was taken away by too much morphine for pain. He weighed 9lb 2oz and was perfect, he had a post mortem and was found to have amniotic band syndrome which constricted the umbilical cord and cut off his blood supply. He suffercated inside me. we sued the hospital for negligence, there was alot of evidence to suggest they were, but they all stuck together on reports and after 4 years of painful meetings and fighting for Danny, we lost. He is our angel and will always be missed and loved so much.
    We now have 2 more boys Ryan 4 1/2 and Aden almost 3, who were both brought by c-section 2 and 2 1/2 weeks early at a different hospital. I tell Daniel i love him every night before i go to bed, and kiss his photo i have on the wall in my bathroom.(strange place to put it, but its always been there so thats where it stays).

  90. Joann Says:
    March 21st, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    Thank you to all the Mums sharing their stories. I too am among you all. Our little girl, Breeann was born on 4 March 2009 after finding out that her little heart had stopped beating (34 weeks gestation). We take great comfort in knowing that she is now safe in the arms of Jesus and she’s never had to know pain, suffering or sadness, only joy in our Lord. Breeann was our third child after having 2 fun boys. I have a suspicion that this can be common; a stillborn girl after 2 boys. Please, if you have had a similar experience, please contact me: adjosutton@bigpond.com

  91. sarah Says:
    April 11th, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    hi my sister just lost her 2ed baby boy due to an doctor by the name of doctor folk the cause of the babys death was a medican that u only give to animals !

  92. melissa Says:
    May 28th, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    I lost my baby when i deliverd i was two weeks early the baby was fine the daybefore i went in to labour then there was nothing so what happend

  93. Sandra Says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    My prayers and heart goes out to every mother, father and family who experiences a stillbirth. The pain is immense, undescribable – words will never describe what we feel. I reached 39 weeks when she suddenly stoped moving. She was born on May 6 2009. The pain will never stop, but I will try to carry on.

    She is with the Lord who loves her much more than I could. She is his child. She and all the other sillborn babies were just too good for this earth.

  94. Charlie Says:
    June 5th, 2009 at 11:22 am

    I am so sorry for your losses my thoughts are with you all im 39 weeks today and couldnt bear it if anything happened

  95. Pany Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    I just lost my beautiful baby girl less than two weeks ago. My husband and I went to sleep on Sunday night on June 7th, 2009 and everything was fine and my baby was kicking fine. The next morning I woke up and had breakfast. I hadn’t felt her move yet but she didn’t always constantly move and I figured she was still asleep. I woke my husband and told him. We called the doctor and they suggested I drink some orange juice or eat something and rest for 15 to 20 minutes to see if she starts moving. I had already done that but I did it again. Still she hadn’t moved. We called the doctor again and this time we went to the hospital. At the hospital I was starting to worry and so was my husband. The nurses put us in a labor and delivery and I changed into a gown. Then the L&D nurse came in to check the fetal heart tones. She looked all over but couldn’t find them. She said sometimes they can be hard to find. She went to get another nurse to try. We were told our doctor was on the way in. My usual doctor was out of town but his partner was coming in. As we waited my husband looked nervous. He’s a doctor and I asked if everything is okay. He said he didn’t know with a worried look on his face. The next nurse came in and tried to find the babies heart tones and looked all over but couldn’t. Again she said that sometimes when the baby is near term it can be hard to find. I had just started my last week. I figured my baby was big and strong and fine and what could possibly happen at 39 weeks of pregnancy. I mean I could have delivered any time I wanted to. We were waiting an excruciating two hours for the doctor to arrive to do an ultrasound. My husband looked for heart tones while we waited and thought he may have found some but he wasn’t sure. He looked sad and worried and I made him tell me why. He told me almost crying that the baby may be dead. I hit him and started crying and screamed “How can you say that”. He cried too and said he didn’t want to say that and was sure the baby was fine. But he knew different deep down inside and was denying for me and for himself. The nurses knew different too. They knew the baby was dead but couldn’t say it. Finally the doctor arrived and did an ultrasound and confirmed there was no heartbeat and our little baby daughter was dead. My heart sank to the floor. I thought I was in a nightmare and that it couldn’t be real. Both of us burst into tears and were devastated. I couldn’t believe. I never even knew it was possible for a perfectly healthy baby to just suddenly die so late in the pregnancy. I was crushed. I still cannot believe. I do not know how I will go on. Today is Father’s Day and my poor husband is just as crushed. We feel hopeless. She meant the world to us. Nothing seems to have any meaning anymore. I don’t know want the point of going on is. She was the most beautiful thing in the world. She was the exact beautiful baby daughter I had always wanted. She was a perfect mix of me and my husband. I don’t know why God took her from me. She is an angel in Heaven now, but we miss her very much. We still don’t know what happened. Everything had come up normal so far. They may never have an answer for us. I feel the doctors screwed up. They should have taken her out earlier. They should have warned me. She weighed 9 lbs 10 oz and was totally normal in appearance. She shouldn’t have died. I feel like I screwed up because I didn’t get a good enough doctor. They should have taken het out before she died. The pain is unbearable. My husband and I are trying to get ourselves through. The rest of the family doesn’t understand our pain. They are supportive but do not truly understand our grief and our tremendous loss. No one should ever have to watch a child die, no matter the age.

  96. Elena Says:
    June 23rd, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    Pany-

    I just read your story. I lost my son on May 21st of this year. I know how you feel. I was also 39 weeks along and I was going in for a scheduled induction because my baby boy was pretty big. They felt he was around 9 pounds, he was actually 11 pounds 8 ounces. I went through the same thing with 4 or 5 nurses trying to find a heartbeat that wasn’t there. Finally the doctor came in and tried, and he had to tell us the horrible news. We went through a horrible 27 hour labor and eventual c-section. I know how you feel, and I am so sorry you to be going through this too. I miss my little boy so much, and I am so sad when I see other babies around. I say a prayer every time I see a pregnant woman. I pray for her and her baby to be safe because I have learned the hard way that nothing is guaranteed. I will say my prayers for you because I know all to well what you are feeling. I am feeling it right now too! I don’t think anyone will understand your loss and pain unless they have been in your shoes.

  97. Wendi Lane Says:
    June 30th, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    I just came back to this website I visited last year on May 30th 2008. I wanted to see if any one else had experienced what I went through, but my heart breaks that stiilbirth is still happening and that nothing has been done to prevent it! Why? I pray for all of you that have shared this horrible thing that has happened, but it does get easier with time trust me I know! I still have breakdowns and not to mention my sister just had twins. I really cant be around the babies for to long because of the pain I feel when I see them, but hopefully one day i will have the courage to try for another baby. God Bless all of you!

  98. Alison Says:
    July 12th, 2009 at 2:00 am

    10 days ago, I lost my daughter, Charlotte at 41 weeks+2 days. I had begged the midwife at hospital when I had attended the day unit to take her out when she was two days overdue as I was worried about her being stillborn. I had woried about this all the way through my pregnancy (first one). They did not take me seriously and told me I had a perfectly healthy baby in me and I would be induced if I hadn’t gone into labour myself later in the week.
    I have to bury my daughter tomorrow and my heart is breaking in two.
    To make matters worse, following the delivery of my 8.1 pound baby girl, I suffered massive bleeding and had to go to theatre. After theatre, I was left unattended and with no observations for around 8 minutes, and I slipped unconscious and had no pulse.I had to be resuscitated. My poor husband and mother and brother were distraught when I came round. They had watch me give birth to my lifeless baby, whom we all had so many plans for and then they almost lost me too.
    Mothers should not go beyond their due date- pregnancy is hard enough, but to go through it, and lose your baby right at the end is just inhumane. My baby girl would have been here in her cot, if they had only listened to me. My heart goes out to all of you in this same situation as me.

  99. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    July 12th, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    Oh, Alison, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss and I will be thinking of you and your daughter all day.

    I do want to say, though, that being overdue itself is NOT a risk factor. I feel like you perhaps had some intuition for your daughter, but on the whole 42 or even 43 weeks are still very safe and healthy pregnancies.

    (((hugs)))

  100. Vickie Says:
    July 18th, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    I too understand only too well the overwhelming emptiness the loss of your baby brings. My baby girl was stillborn 8 weeks ago at 30 weeks. Still can’t believe it. We have 3 healthy boys already, had longed for a little girl to complete our family. It just wasn’t meant to be. I caught parvovirus during pregnancy and our baby died of hydrops. We’d only been for a checkup 2 days before they told us her heart stopped beating. Giving birth to her and holding her was just surreal, the silence was heartbreaking. I feel so lonely, and desperately want my little girl. My heart goes out to everyone who has also been through this terrible experience.

  101. melissa Says:
    July 29th, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    hi, i understand completely and for me to be 21 y.o, and still have 2 stillborns, i know exactly what you mean. My husband and I today now have a 3 year old. I was 27 weeks when my first stillborn happened. I was devastated as you are. My second stillborn happened at 20 weeks and I’m still trying to heal after a whole year from the last one and almost 4 years from the first one. The process to have to give birth to a stillborn child is just overwhelming. The last stillborn was a TWIN but at the same time, the twin died before i suffered from having the stillbirth. As of this year, my husband and I was supposed to have 4 girls, but I know that GOD has something very special in store for her and our family. I first noticed that my first stillborn was not alive when i went to the hospital after feeling no movement and the dr told me she was dead. the second stillborn happened after the baby was in my uterus without a sac, so that means that my water broke early in my pregnancy without knowing it. I bled for the entire pregnancy. It is just the saddest thing to ever lose a child. My deepest sympathy goes out to anyone who has ever lost a child, because to have the strength to go on and bear another one is very POWERFUL. good luck to all. god is love!

  102. Ivy Says:
    August 2nd, 2009 at 8:19 pm

    9 months ago my life changed compleataly..I fell in love again, yup with someone besides my husband, my belly..haha.. Why?! Because I found out I was pregnant. The day I found out I was going to be a mommy, I got sooo happy it was unbelievable..I was jumping up and down and I wanted to go eat everyday at Paradiso with the excuse that it was “baby cravings” haha!! I still remember the very first time my baby kicked, it was on a Tuesday night right around 10pm. It felt so weird and it was amazing the way my stomach moved from one position to another. As time past by I was getting more anxious to know what my baby was going to be. When I was around 4 months I found out I was going to have a baby boy, and that very moment my husband and I decided his name was going to be Angel and since we couldn’t come up with the second name our future comadre Ayda, his madrina decided it to be Zahir! As time was getting closer for Angel’s arrival, my husband and I decided to go baby stuff shopping, we got our baby his crib, his stroller, his car seat, some new born clothes, diapers, his bathtub, and everything to fill up his nursery! La comadre, my mom, and I decided to make a babyshower where all the members of the church I used to attend helped out, and I got so many baby clothes and lots more gifts, I remeber it was a box full. July 4th 2009 baby Angel FINALLY decided to arrive. Around 3pm I started getting contractions and my baby was still moving, I called in and they told me to wait until I had them stronger even though they were already 3 minutes apart, they explained it was probably the beiggning of labor but I knew it was time. Around 5pm I couldn’t take them nomore so I told my husband not to call in, I told him to just take me, so he did. When I got there they put me on some monitors to measure the contractions and monitor my babys heartbeat. I knew something was wrong, evrytime I went they had never struggled to find it and this time they where, they told me not to worry but the tears where rolling down my eyes even though they hadn’t said anything yet. 10min later the Dr decided to do an ultrasound to see my babys heartbeat since they had said “baby is probably hiding and that’s why we can’t hear it” so they did. When the dr made the ultrasound on me, tears just rolled down her face and she just said to us “IM SORRY YOU GUYS” at that point I just screamed out and bursted out crying (and I still do, in fact I am right now) My baby was dead…Why?????? Why?????? He was still moving..2 hours ago…why??? I waited so long, we waited so long for this baby!! Yes, 3.5 weeks ago Jesus took my precious 7lb 9.4oz, 22 3/4in baby because he needed another Angel in heaven that’s the only answer I have because doctors can’t come up with anyother reason, that’s the reason we come up with. Sometimes we don’t understand Gods actions, but we do know that he does everything for a reason! I still cry myself to sleep, because I lost my baby, the baby I waited so long for, and I think of what would life be with him in my arms right now?! I get so angry because I only got to have him in my arms for 3 days and I didn’t even get to hear him cry when he was born, didn’t even get to see his eyes or his beautiful smile, but I thank God for letting me have him for 9 months and I’m going to spend the rest of my life thanking him! I miss my little Angel, but I know Jesus Is jumping up and down of joy just like I was 9 months ago and he is so happy to have my little boy up there, helping him watch over YOU and ME! My baby has been 3.5 weeks in Heaven..and I miss him so much..I just hope this cloud of sadness I’m going through will soon fade into a bright sunshine. I know Jesus will help me and so will my little boy! I miss you so much precious prince and I want you to know your room is still the same, and that mommy and daddy sleep with your musical teddy bear and your blankie, to remind us that your going to be with us always….always and forever in our hearts Angel Zahir Pruneda Gonzalez!! We love you baby boy, and we always will, always wevitos de oro!!

  103. shelly Says:
    August 3rd, 2009 at 7:39 am

    i had a still born baby girl, my first pregnancy, in 1979. i was 44 weeks and had many ultrasounds where she looked fine. i was to be induced the very next day. i still wonder why. i have had three subsequent pregnancies, with thank G-d, healthy children–i did not go into labor with any of them. they attempted to induce me with the second pregnancy for hours, and that was unsuccessful and only produced slight contractions ( and i do mean slight) that did nothing. it was a devastating experience. each of my subsequent three deliveries were scheduled c sections. i am sorry for anyone who has lost a pregnancy and wish each of you healing and support.

  104. Vickie Says:
    August 4th, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    Ivy, I shed a tear when I read your heart-wrenching story about your baby boy, Angel. Im so sorry for your loss. I just wanted to say that we’re 2 months on now after losing our baby girl and from experience i can say this makes you a stronger person. I remember thinking i just wanted to die after we returned from the hospital without our baby. We had to face our beautiful new pram, all the gorgeous pink baby clothes we had so much joy choosing and had to explain to our other kids that they were’nt going to have a little sister after all. Aside from attending Sophia’s funeral, I didn’t leave the house for a month. I could not talk to anyone. I thought i would die from a broken heart. But somehow, you do learn to live with it. Its early days for me and I’m still struggling to accept that life has to go on, but please know that you will smile again. We have had to endure something no human being should have to, the fact that we can survive something so cruel and heartbreaking makes us very unique strong women and we will all see our precious angels again eventually one day. My heart goes out to you all.

  105. Elena Says:
    August 5th, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    As I wrote earlier, I lost my baby boy on May 21st of this year. He died the day before his scheduled induction day. We thought we were going to get to meet our little boy, never did we expect that we were going to be saying goodbye instead. I agree with Viki, we are unique strong women and we have to keep moving on in honor of our babies. I too wanted to crawl into bed and die, but I had a little girl at home who needed her mommy to get up and give her a happy life. People are always telling me that I seem so well adjusted and I seem to be taking this so well. In fact I am dying inside, but I refuse to fall apart. I never realized how strong I was until being strong was the only option I had. I want to cry and scream every time I see a baby that is about 11 weeks old…instead I smile and say a pray for the little person. My husband wants to start trying again for another baby in October. I am trying to find the strength to do this again….I am just going to have to put my faith in God that if we are fortunate enough to have another baby that everything will work out alright. I naively thought once I made it past the first trimester it would be smooth sailing…sadly I know better now. My OB said if we try again I will get tons of ultra sounds and stress testing throughout. I am 37 so I feel like time is running out for us.

    I am so sorry that we are all part of this club that none of us wants to be apart of. I pray for all of you and I wish strengthen and happiness for all of you. I know we will see our angels again….and they will forever be watching out for their mommies.

    If anyone has children who are having a hard time with this I got a book for my daughter called, “We were going to have a baby, but we had an angel instead.” It helped my daughter. Someone also gave me a beautiful book called No Tears in Heaven. It is written from our babies point of view about Heaven. It gave me some reassurance that my baby boy is doing well and watching over me. Every time I come to this site and see new posts my heartbreaks, I wish nobody else ever had to endure this……Good Bless you all and find strength in your love for your lost angels. I truly believe they want us, their mommies, to find peace and happiness even though there are times we feel there is none to be found.

  106. Amanda B. Says: Says:
    August 30th, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    I have been through this terrible experience.I’m 28 years old and was pregnant with my first child named Allee. She was born Aug 5th 2009 as a stillborn baby. I was at 40weeks and went to the Dr. for a regular checkup to find out there was no heartbeat and I had felt her move the day before.I hadn’t felt her move that morning but thought she was running out of room to move or asleep. I was scheduled to be induced in two more days.I was in disbelief and made my Dr. do two ultrasounds.I think of her all times of the day everyday. Time has not healed anything for me I hurt like it was yesterday.Will it ever get better?? My heart aches for her she was such a beautiful baby she weighed 8lbs 9ounces and 21 inches long. After I delivered her I would hear other babies crying down the hall and seeing my little one lifeless just ripped my heart out. I had a family member remove all the baby stuff from the house before I was to get home from the hospital.I had it all planned out what she was going to wear for Halloween and where to have her birthday parties and it got taken away in the blink of an eye.I wanted to avoid getting out in public and didn’t have motivation to do anything.I feel like I’m dead on the inside and not the same person anymore.This has been a life changing experience and would like to have another child but I know I will live in fear the whole time.I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to endure pain like this. I always thought that there was nothing to worry about after the first trimester.I learned to never take anyone or anything for granted.I know she is an angel watching over me now and I will get to see her again when God calls me home.

  107. Amanda B. Says: Says:
    August 30th, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    The cord being in a knot caused my sweet Allee to pass away I forgot to mention that in the paragraph above.

  108. Elena Says:
    September 3rd, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    I am so sorry that you have also gone through, and are going through the loss of our precious little babies. It has only been 14 weeks for me, and while it does not get better, you will have days that you realize you have not cried. I am still very sad, but I have found that at the end of some recent days I realize I have not cried. I think of my little boy all the time…and when I see babies about his age, I have to turn away because I have tears. I don’t think that we ever get over losing our babies, but I do think we get through it. We will never be the same people, we are now mothers of angel babies, and that is life changing. I am trying to learn who I am now and what that means for my future. I have to learn to be okay with who I am now.

    I know what it is to walk in your shoes and even though I don’t know you I wish for you to have strength, peace and love encircle you and your family. It saddens me to know there are other women out there going through this, you are right when you said you would not wish this on even your worst enemy. It is a nightmare I wish none of us had to face.

    There is a website message board http://messageboards.ivillage.com that really helps me. You can post message to other moms currently going through this, or ones that have, and I have found some comfort at night when I can not sleep reading their messages, and posting questions to them.I hope is some small this helps you, and I hope you know that there are strangers out there who are saying a prayer for you.

  109. Ivy Says:
    September 28th, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    It brakes my heart to return back and see new stories of babys being still born..I had my baby July 4th 2009 I wrote my story here Agust 2nd 2009 I still miss my baby I was 40 weeks and 4 days..and he weight 7.9 and measured 22 and 3/4..I would appreciate talking to someone..I don’t know what to do..I think I’m going crazy without him..I’m 20 years old and my first and only baby was born still.. ivania_freddy@hotmail.com or u could also contact me at http://www.myspace.com/ivy_kween88

  110. Danielle Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 12:13 am

    Ladies, thank you all for sharing your story. My Husband and I lost our Little Nora Ambrosia-Rose at 28weeks and 5 days (September 17th 2009). She was my first and his second. We were at the doctor at 9am and her heartbeat was 148, moving around as normal. We were thrilled. By 130 that afternoon I was at the hospital in terrible pain… I just kept saying to my husband, “something is not right!”. He comforted me the best he could while driving to the hospital. I knew something was wrong immediately when the Nurse told me she was going to go get a doctor after I myself couldn’t hear her heartbeat (I’m a nurse too, but an ICU nurse). My husband looked at me and said “whats wrong”. I said ” I don’t know, but it’s not good”. The doctor came in and did an ultrasound and I too heard those dreaded words “I’m so sorry”. We immediately broke down, I demanded to see another doctor, have another ultrasound done and have my doctor paged immediately. The second doctor came in and said the same terrible 3 words… followed by one of my doctors running in my room 15 minutes later crying. She told me I was going to have to stay in the hospital and they were going to have to induce labor, but carefully… I was internally bleeding. My Placenta had completely detached from my uterus (which is where I was bleeding from). I shut down, a woman i work with left early to be with me and my husband (the hospital i worked at was only 5 minutes down the road). I had to have her explain everything to me.. i couldn’t comprehend anything my own doctors were telling me. All night I recieved multiple blood products – they had to put a special IV in my neck because they were worried once I delivered I was going to bleed to death. After 25 hours of labor, Nora arrived at 332pm at 16.5inches long and 2 lbs 10 ounces. She looks like a little mini-me. She even already had 1/4 inch of hair. My husband says that brings him comfort, because everytime he looks at me, he’ll always see her little face. The Doctors have no explanation right now as to why my placenta detached… waiting on multiple blood work to come back. I take comfort in knowing that Nora is in heaven, with my mother (who i lossed when i was 16- i’m 23 now). She was named after my mother Noreen Ann. She was named after my mother, my family name, and my husbands mother and grandmother(who are both still living). The pain, grief, and self blame (am I the only one with that?) are unbearable.. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you and your little angels.

  111. Melissa Says:
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    It’s amazing how this post seems to just keep on going. So many sad stories I have just sat here and got done reading. I try to actually not look too into all of it because I just find myself in tears. We lost our little boy when I was 40 weeks pregnant on July 31, 2009. The strange part was that I was in labor the Friday before that for about 6 hours. Then, it was off and on for about a week. I didn’t worry because he was moving like crazy, and I had to sleep in a chair that whole week. He would kick me in my hip and I’d scream cause it hurt so bad. Then, the following Friday, I had horrible pains once again. We called my Midwife, and she didn’t think something was right, and we were told to go into the hospital. When we arrived, they did an u/s. No heartbeat on the screan. I was in so much pain, but the emotional pain was worse, and they descoved I was dialated to a 6. The worst part was that I was progressing extremely slow after that. I kept refusing a C-section knowing my baby was gone, and I had good vitals (My first birth was a C-section). It was about my health now. After 40 hours of extreme back pain and labor that day, I finally pushed my sleeping baby out. He was 7 lbs, 9 oz and 21 1/2 inches long. Now, I feel like everyone just wants me to get on with my life, but I miss my little boy in heaven. I cry everytime I read a new story about a baby dying. It is by far the worst feeling in the world to lose a child. It doesn’t matter when you lose them. Some people have said to me, “well, at least the baby didn’t take a breath.” I heard it enough times that my pain increased from it. We all held our babies for along time inside of us. I lost my first at 13 weeks along, and I still think about that lil one too. Now, we are hoping for another one, but trying to be patient. We just have to keep strong hearts and hope for the best. I figure that if I don’t keep trying for another, then I’ll never get another baby, not to replace my other one, but I yearn to hold a crying baby in my arms and to see it’s little hands and toes wiggle.

  112. Stephanie Says:
    November 14th, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    It is amazing how often these types of situations happen. I had no idea myself and was extremely shocked when I lost a child during childbirth. My pregnancy experience was amazing with no complications and a strong heartbeat week after week. I actually didn’t go into labor until I was 41 weeks and 3 days but this was all normal since this was my first pregnancy. The natural labor lasted almost 22 hours and we had a strong heartbeat up until the last 15 minutes when we was coming down the birth canal. The contractions were so strong that they couldn’t even try to get a heartbeat in between them because I just had to keep pushing. Once the head was out, I could tell that my midwives were getting worried, and panic occurred shortly after as his shoulders were stuck. After a very painful and scary 5 minutes they managed to yank him out but it was already too late. We still have no medical reason for why he was not able to take a breath which is extremely frustrating and saddening. It amazes me how much I loved something that was only with me for 41 weeks and 3 days. We named in Dean Aiden, he weighted 9lbs 3 oz and was 22″ long. I feel so lost now with no idea where to start to pick up the pieces and a tremendous amount of grief. I too have a heavy load of self blame however the feeling of being all alone is not as strong when I find websites like this. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories.

  113. Hayley-Louise Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 8:37 am

    I’ve just sat here for hours reading so many peoples sad stories, 3 weeks ago i gave birth to my beautiful baby girl at 40weeks+5Days but sadly she didnt make it and was a still born baby friday 4th dec 2009 weighing 7lb 4oz n measuring 52cm in lenght. She was mine and my partners 1st baby. The monday i was in labour for 6 hours with contractions 10 mins apart then they just stopped, tuesday i went 2 the doctors 4 a antenatal check heartbeat was good 140bpm posistion was good my blood pressure good everything you want to hear. The thursday i became worried again as movements had gotten so slow n then i wasnt sure i was feeling any at all my partner told me to check the heart beat as we had our own monitor at home couldnt find her heartbeat but being brave i thought it might be her posistion went to the hospital for heart monitoring then the midwife couldnt tell if it was my heartbeat or the babies so then had 2 scans which then they told me our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I had t choices c section or a vaginal birth i choose vaginal birth so they induced me and 12 hours later i gave birth to a beautilful baby girl, the cord was fine my waters broke clear they couldnt see any obv reasons so now were waiting on autopsy results. Thank you to everyone that has shared their stories as when it happened i though i was the only one in the world it had happened to i have a awful amount of self blame at the mo as i have no reason to blame as we have no results but the thought of being with her soon one day keeps me going.

  114. Vickie Says:
    January 11th, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. I check back on here every now and again and feel deeply saddened to read that so many more people have experienced this heartbreaking loss of their babies. Its been 7 months now since my baby girl died, and i’m still struggling with self blame too. It seems like the natural thing when something so unthinkable happens to say “What did I do so wrong”. The truth is, nothing. Sadly, we’ve all learned that this does really happen to normal people – not just in the movies. I feel like i’ll never ever be the same again. But i am living through the pain, as you will, and grow a strength you never knew you had in you. And always remember, you do have a daughter. No’one can ever take that away from you. She will always be in your heart. Peace and love to you xxx

  115. Nikki Says:
    January 25th, 2010 at 1:58 am

    I came across your site. thank you. its interesting how you put the picture of your beautiful baby into a link. I know how you feel. I am currently totally devasted. I had never gone longer than 37 weeks. I have 2 daughters who are now grown up (20 and 22) it took me 20 years to get courage to have another child. My beautiful daughter Maya was born 5 days ago. I was 38 weeks pregnant. I had been in the hospital only 3 days before and she was fine. They tried to induce labour, which wasnt what i wanted, i wanted a cesarean. I could not bear to go through labour with her. 4 days later and many pessaries, they agreed (after second opinion) to give me a cesarean. She was born. Unfortunately her skin had started to peel as she had died so many days before. I had sold my house at a massive financial loss to provide a beautiful home for her,. Everything was in place. I had had pains for days and thought i was going into labour. Now — now it feels like there is nothing. At the age of 41 its very unlikely i will have another, she cannot be replaced. This beautiful house that i now live in, i dont want to be here. I realise that she died at home… which makes me feel worse. I feel like all my dreams all my future is now gone. She should be born next week, instead we will be attending her funeral. I have to wait for the outcome of the post mortom, but i suspect, that like you, it will come back with no results found no cause of death. So many women this happens to, yet it is never discussed never talked about. I will never get over her death, it is like a light has gone out inside of me. Everything feels totally pointless. Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with us. My daughter was 7lbs 4oz, she would have been more than 8lbs not a small baby. My heart goes out to all of you, its a small comfort to realise that i am not alone x

  116. Nikki Says:
    January 25th, 2010 at 2:58 am

    Can I also add, after reading this whole page, what a help it was for me to read others stories. I know that when i was in hospital waiting to have her, i was reading websites about still birth on my mobile phone. So if anyone is reading this, I found that it did help (although i wasnt keen) to spend time with her, to hold her, dress her in her own clothes and a very special blanket. She looked like ‘my’ baby. I also took a lot of photos. It might seem a bit morbid, but i am so glad that i did. There was a tape that we found at the hospital, we played it a lot and it made us sob our heart out, i also did video of her with that music playing in the background, that helped a bit too, as while i can never see her actually move — the video does… so i feel like she has. It has created some – memories of her. Memories i would never otherwise have had. i had been thinking of not seeing her, not holding her. I am in UK, and i was so appalled that they force women to give birth vaginally if they really dont want this. Fortunately for me, my cervix refused to open. The hospital has said that they are now going to make it policy where women who face still birth at term (after 37 weeks) will be offered the choice – either c section or vaginal birth. They have said that they are hoping to campaign to have this happen nationally.

  117. Kylah Says:
    January 26th, 2010 at 5:21 am

    hi to all. we had a similiar experience in our family on the 26th dec 2009. the whole family was down for the holidays and all the conversations revolved around my brothers 1st little one that was one his way – the first grandchild aswell. we received the call at about 11pm that night that my sister in law had gone into labour. my mom(gran to be) and myself raised to meet them at the hospital – excitement was all around! booked her in, the nurses did their routine check and then the shock – they could not detect Caleb’s heartbeat. 41 weeks and absolute devastatioin. We refused to believe and were continuosly praying for a miracle until 8am the next morning where she had given natural birth – and unfortunatley he was not alive. As a 1st time aunt that was so excited i can only imagine the pain for a mother. my heart goes out to everyone that has experienced this! But praise the Lord that we can be reunited at the gates of glory! to parents who have lost children, i encourage you to live righteous lives and don’t leave your children waiting at heavens gates in vain. be blessed.

  118. shantelle boyce Says:
    February 6th, 2010 at 9:52 am

    i am a mother of two soon to be 3 i am 39 weeks 6 days both of my previous pregnancies had to be induced as i was overdue.The stories i have read here touch my heart deeply tho i have never experienced stillbirth it is a fear all mothers share and i commend you for the bravery it takes to post your daughters picture she is very precious…the stories i have read here are the reason i believe that ultrasounds should also be administered at 36 ,38 and even 40 weeks to insure the safety of our children. my best friend lost her son 2 days before her due date she felt something wasnt right the baby was moving and everything else seemed fine when she went to the hospital they did not give her an ultrasound tho as she was suppose to have her 40 week appt in 2 days when she went to her app there was no heartbeat had they givin her an US they wouldve found a blood clot in the cord and saved her sons life…it is a shame that these things happen so close to birth…i pray for the healing process for you and all the other women who have posted

    for the children who were born still but still born

  119. Shelley Says:
    June 3rd, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    Having an ultrasound does not guarantee anything. I was 44 weeks and the day that my baby died I had been in the hospital for testing (including ultrasound) from nine am until three thirty in the afternoon. Everything appeared to be fine. I was scheduled for induction the next day and that night our little girl died. It was our first child and I had never known anyone to lose a baby like this. My mother had died the previous year. Thank G-d I have had three healthy children since that time. I have never gone into labor, never dilated and have needed to schedule a C section for all of them.
    The stillborn was thirty years ago and I don’t think I have ever gotten over it.
    I wish all of you who have written a healing and support.

  120. Nicole Says:
    August 22nd, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Hi, Im so sorry for everyone’s loss and it’s so sad and unfair we have lost our babies. I just lost my beautiful twins (girl/boy) 5 days ago. I went into labor at 22weeks. I’m so hurt and angry right now, and I can’t believe God would do this to my husband and I. I pray that we all get through all of our pain and God answers our prayers.

  121. kelly black Says:
    August 24th, 2010 at 6:47 am

    Hi everyone can I start by saying your angel stories have moved me to tears, every story similar but so unique. I felt compelled to share our family story with you, my nephew Max grew his wings on 27th December 2009 at 34 weeks he weighed 4lbs 15ozs and was perfect like a sleeping angel. My brother and his wife are slowly coming to terms with Max’s death but as I’m sure you all understand they will never accept him not being here.
    I will never get over watching my brother carry that tiny coffin as long as I live, it broke my heart. My husband and I helped to arrange his funeral, John is a musician so he offered to help find some music. We were shocked at the lack of songs, what song is appropriate for a little person you never met.
    I wanted to do something for Max so that everyone would remember him and know that he was real, a real person that would of grown up if he hadn’t been taken. I wanted people to remember all the other babies who have not made it this far but have left behind devastated families.
    We remembered back to his funeral and how his Mummy had been so upset because she couldn’t find a song so my husband and I wrote a song for Max and all the angel babies. We have called it Sweet Dreams our Angel. Any money we make is going to a charity who supply hospitals with memory boxes that are given to parents who’s babies are born sleeping. Memories come with time which is something our angels do not have, the boxes help to create special memories while you have the chance.
    I have watched my brother and his wife take solice in poetry and music over the last few months so I hope that the song will help another couple to do the same. Max might not have made it but I like to think that if his song can help even one person then he didn’t die for nothing. I hope you are not offended that I have posted this story.

    I hope all your angels continue to shine bright and watch over you all.

    Sweet Dreams Our Angels is available to watch on youtube please look out for it. (john black)

    Kelly xxx

  122. Anne Says:
    August 25th, 2010 at 10:45 am

    I lost my much loved baby son on Aug 13th 2010 at 40 weeks and 1 day. I still can’t believe this has happened. I had a great pregnancy and was so excited to hold him in my arms. My husband and little girl were equally exited. The previous week for my checkup, ultra sound was fine. A couple of days later, hours before my last check up I hadn’t felt him move but was not too worried as I thought it normal at this stage. When they did the ultra sound they couldn’t find a heart beat. If it wasn’t for my little girl, needing her mum to be strong I wouldn’t find the strenghts to get up in the morning… I share your pain of loss and grief and hope at some point it will get better…

  123. Rup Says:
    February 15th, 2011 at 3:52 am

    I lost my sweet girl at 30 week pregnancy… I conceived after 1 ectopic pregnancy four years back. Had a high risk pregnancy initially and now i thought its seventh month I am off the high risk but..
    Its so painful to bear

  124. Yee Says:
    March 10th, 2011 at 1:01 am

    in 2010, my first pregnancy was not successful as no growth was detected. It was a painful experience as well when dr needed to take my baby out via d&c. I was told it was some kind of natural selection for the baby to grow when i asked my dr the reason why this could happen. I have cried few times thinking about it.

    A few months later after the d&c, I realised that I got pregnant again for second time. I was happy but still anxious whether the same like my first pregnancy will ever happen again. but i was extremely happy, so did my husband when dr told me that my baby of nearly 2 months old is growing normally with heartbeat detected.

    As time goes by, my baby grow perfectly healthy as well as my health condition was perfect too. All routine checking was done accordingly.

    To my shock, I lost my baby girl 3.9kg last end of January 2011 (40 weeks 2 days). It was really unacceptable and extremely painful with tears and cries for almost 2 weeks. I lost myself. I dont want to talk to anyone except my husband. i am afraid to face everyone. I kept on asking, why???

    dr. said my placenta position is good. no cord accident, baby’s perfect. its just that dr. would like to investigate the possibility of ‘anti phospholipid syndrome (APS). Its somekind of blood disorder.

  125. Zandz Says:
    April 4th, 2011 at 3:48 am

    You have a very beautiful daughter. Like you, I just lost my little ANGEL last March 4, 2011.. It is really so hard to cope up with what we had experience specially with all the monther’s who had a stillborn baby. It was exactly our 2nd weekly check up at exact 37 weeks when the doctor announced that my baby has no heartbeat, a moment of truth that after we carry them for a month,we are only left behind with the memories of few months while they are still in our womb,playing and kicking, the time that we used to talk to our babies inside us and like a full bloom toddler they will respond by moving..A medical result mentioned that their was a placenta abruption and only 2 vessels of her umbilical cord only she has.

    I lost my dream little girl to fast, And I know that she is with our Dear LORD now with your daughter. I just thought that all that happens is GOD’s will, and our little girl left too soon and was chossen because GOD has a very good reason and plan for them. Someday, we will meet them in GOD’s time…

  126. Lerato Says:
    May 6th, 2011 at 7:14 am

    I am really sorry ladies for your loss.I also lost my son on the 4th of April 2010.I was 32 weeks pregnant I work up that morning with a weird urge to have sex,during sex I could feel the baby playing then after I felt contractions I called my mom bt she said mybe its a false alarm cos it is stil early.I didn’t go to church and at about 11 o’clock I had a visitor and she told me my face was sowlen.I didn’t take that to consideration because my face was soulen.after she left them I had sever contraction as I was trying to take a bath I was sweting a lot.my boyfriend bathed me then took me to hospital.when we got there I was refused treatment bcos I was in the army I need athourity papers from the army before they can attend to me,my man went to the unit to get the authority,while he was away a nurse asked to check the heart beat of the baby the was nothing they called the docter to take me to altra sound and still the was nothing.I couldn’t cry why I dnt knw.when my boyfriend came back he was with some medics from the army to transport to a bigger hospital in a big city witch was 130km away.when I got their I ws told the docter will only see me tomorro I was given medication to stabilise my high blood pressure.the following day at 8 o’clock the docter came to see me and broke the water and more than water the was blood coming out.I was told because this is my first baby they can’t operate so I went through normal labour not so painful at 7 o’clock at night I felt the urge of going to the toilet then I was told the baby was coming I was told to push only once the baby was out.I remeber wishing to hear a cry bt the was nothing.life was normal to me I thought mybe after sometime it will come back and hit me hard bt it never did although I love my baby boy Kitso so much I thank God for helping me accept that his no more like I did.I am now 5months pregnant with a baby girl the were complications at the begining bt now am fine although most of the time I wake up just to feel if the is movements in my stomach.I pray to God all the time for my babies well being as I’m writing his playing.I luve little beauty so much.

  127. Steve Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    My wife and I lost our baby 3 years ago, due to a placenta abruption. For a split second I wanted to blame God, but then realized that I needed him to get me through this. Each day without our little ones makes us sad, but knowing one day we will reunite is comforting. My prayers are with all of you and I pray that all of you will find the strength to go on. Never forget your babies and don’t be afraid to talk with them everyday. Love them always like they are here. God be with all of us who have been put into this situation.

  128. patricia m Says:
    September 28th, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Thank you for your touching post. Your baby is beautiful and loved.
    I’ve been on this site thru out my pregnancy and found comfort in mommy stories. Then at 32 weeks my baby stopped moving. I was told its normal and he was probly jut sleeping or has less room to wiggle. He kicked me so much before it didn’t feel right. I fell asleep and had a dream I was being measured for a halloween costum by a doctor who put her hand over my belly where my little boy Halo always snuggled and she said” somethings not right here”. I woke, immediately dressed called L and D and went to the hospital. I saw a newborm coming down the hall and turned my head away. I knew something wasn’t right. The nurse couldn’t find a heartbeat and called a doctor to do and ultra sound. I panicked and begged them to tell me my baby was ok. Instead I got an”I’m sorry there is no heartbeat”. I’ll never forget those words. I had to be induced for 3 days and had my perfect baby boy sleeping on sept 5 2011. He was 4 lbs 1oz 16.5 inches. His umbillical cord had a true knot and was wrapped around his neck two times.
    When I finally pushed him out I just wepted in a way I never have. 8 months and it was all over in one push. I had hoped he would cry and there was nothing. I cry everyday for him. I miss him so much. I love him more and more each day. I had him creamated and keep him in a teddy bear urn. It helps to hold him.
    Sometimes I fight with the feelings I feel I let my baby die and didn’t help him. Some days are darker then others and I try to remember my spirtuality and think he isn’t actually gone. But its hard. Knowing what happened hasn’t made it easier. Knowing he was heathly and possibly could have survived if I had acted sooner just brings so much guilt. Others have tried to comfort me and say strange things. I had chosen the name Halo early in my pregnancy. He was always my angel and a gift from God. But to hear people say you named him halo its like you knew he was gods child and gonna leave soon. Just isn’t what a new mommy that lost her baby needs or wants to hear.
    Even though he passed I’m so proud of my baby boy and want everyone to know him, know his name and talk about him with happiness in their voice.
    I read everyones stories and it breaks my heart but brings a bitter sweet comfort. I know my angel is with all of yours and that helps so much. I wish all of you peace.
    Forever loved
    Halo Javan M. born sleeping 9/5/2011

  129. Caroline Says:
    November 24th, 2011 at 4:59 am

    It is with great sadness I read all these beautiful stories as my wonderful brother and his wife have just found out that their precious darling boy, who was due to be born next week, has passed away. He will be delivered stillborn this evening. Our entire family are devastated but reading these entries has given us a little hope and comfort.

  130. Gemma Cheetham Says:
    November 29th, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    my heart goes out too you all.
    I found out my baby had died in the womb at 36weeks. I had gone for a routine check up with the midwifes and she couldnt find a heart beat and sent me to Labour ward but cause i had no money the midwife said i would have to catch a bus even though i live 1 and 1/2 hours away from the hospital and knowing that my baby wasnt breathing i was in a right mess so i rang my mum and literally ran to her house crying. My mum bundled me into a taxi an we went to labour ward. i was left waiting for half an hour i felt sick to my stomach i knew they was something wrong. when they shouted me in i just stared at the ceiling praying my baby was ok, but the nurse wrapped her arms around me and said im sorry your baby is dead. i couldnt move, i have never in my life cryed as much as i did. The people in the waiting area outside herd my screams an the nurse ran out to get help i just couldnt breathe, my mother just held me tight and cryed we just couldnt believe my little boy had gone. I asked them to recheck 3 times. The doctor came in and took me into another room and outside were all the mums to be, staring at me. i felt sick and it haunts me everyday. to make matters worse my husband to be, was none the wiser, it was his birthday and he had took our 2 year old son to the park and i had to phone him and tell him what had happened.
    I was induced that day they gave me a tablet then sent me home and told me to come back in 48hrs. I was at home for 3 hours then rushed back in as all the stress had caused me to go into labour. 1 hour later i was screaming for help from the nurses in the hospital for 10 mins because they wern’t awnsering my buzzer. by the time they came in i was on the floor and 9 and a half cm dialated with no pain relief. i gave birth to my beautiful little boy.
    his name is Riley Jaylon Cook born 9th september 2011 he weighed 6lb 13ounce born sleeping.
    We had the post mortem results after the cremation it turned out several reasons.
    the placenta was half the size it should have been and couldnt support riley so caused an abrubtion but the doctor also said the cord was too short and it was wrapped round his neck 4 times so they couldnt determine weather it was the abruption or the cord or both. what makes me even more angry is 3 days before i had a small bleed an riley was still alive then but was in distress. the nurses gave riley 3 heart and fetal movement traces and 2 of them were abnormal then they did 1 an sent me off home sayin he was fine. All through my pregnancy the health service has failed me and my baby. i was seen by my midwife at 6 weeks then again at 22 weeks and i had really bad sickness till i was 25 weeks and doctors didnt even no i was pregnant because the midwife hadnt recorded it down in my records. I was suppose to have regular thyroid check ups cause of my underactive thyroid and they monitered it twice through my whole pregnancy and said it was ok and said i had to come back in a year. when i had given birth to riley the nurse in charge of me was hovering around demanding i showered when all i wanted to do was hold my baby, she then told me i have to put him down in this metal fridge type incubator to keep him ‘preserved’ as she put it. i wanted to swing my fists at her. my baby had been born dead and all i wanted to do was be with my husband to be and saver every last moment we had with riley because as soon as we walked out them hospital doors we wouldn’t be able to see riley again. All the nurse could think about was how she wanted us out as there were shortage of rooms. when we said good byes my husband to be fell to the floor are heartroken and we came home and i just held my 2 year old son an just didnt want to let him go. 4 hours later i was rushed back into hospital because i had contracted an infection in my womb because they hadnt got all the placenta out of me so i had to deliver the remaining placenta. i was then left in a room surrounded by 3 other woman giving birth and hearing there babies cry for the first time i just wept and wept i just wanted to go home and hide away. its been 11 and half weeks now and its still not getting any easier. my christmas is over and the only reason im celebrating is because of my 2 year old son. i feel really empty and its put a wall between me and my partner. we constantly argue and my little boy keeps telling my mum that im sad all the time and that daddys shouting, i just dont want that for him i feel like a bad mum. im on a waiting list to be seen by a counsiller.
    R.I.P to Riley and all those other little angels who didnt make it into this world <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  131. Dolly Says:
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    Hi, I am amazed at how many responses there are to my story. I pray that each one of you find the healing you need. God bless you all, It is painful and raw, a heart wound that never fully closes. But it does get better as time passes. You will never forget your Angels.
    God Bless.
    If you would like to see it, I have a blog where I write to Chelsea as I need to. Here is the link:
    https://sites.google.com/site/couponclipinqueen/chelsea
    Dolly

  132. Marlene Shelton Says:
    December 16th, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    Im writin do to the loss of my wonderful Grandson Bentley he was born at 22 weeks stillborn on Dec 7th 2011 He was fine a week before an my Daughter said she felt him moving the nite before the ultrasound Im just so confused on what Happened to the lil guy I have a beautiful Grand daughter I know im not the mom but my heart breaks for all u women an my daughter I dont have the words for her that her son is always wanted she got her lil girl now he is gone an i feel so lost an it also happened on my moms bday which is the great grandma its heartbreaking Doctor said something about he was small like off lil under 2 weeks so I dont know now our xmas isnt xmas but I do it for my lil grand daughter who is 4 I just wish he was here I blamed God an I know now that was wrong cause we all prayed for the ultrasound to be ok wonder if trauma happened to mom from her husband would do anything in my heart im lost for thoughts Im so sorry for all ur losses i cant say i know but i know it hurts im the Grandma there is no words R.I.P BENTLEY RYAN

  133. Lauren p Says:
    January 28th, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious child. In 1990, I was 33 weeks pregnant. It was the middle of the night and I awoke from a terrible dream that someone left a baby in a car seat on top of a picnic table in the hot sun. I saw this as I was dreaming from a window of a second story building and I was banging on the window for someone to hear me and yelling that there was a baby in the hot sun alone. I woke myself up because my arms and hands hit the back of my headboard. I got up to go to the bathroom. I came back to bed and as I was lying there I noticed that my baby wasn’t moving and every night when I went to the bathroom she would be active. So I did feel alarmed. I don’t know why. I laid there and kept pushing on my stomach to wake her. I was only 22. I had never thought of stillbirths. A couple of hours went by and I woke my husband and told him the baby isn’t moving and I thought it was concerned. We agreed I would first thing in the morning call my obgyn and go in. At 9;00 I laid on the doctors office bed and my doctor checked the heartbeat with a device. He listened and listened and went hhmmmm. I knew something was terribly wrong. He told me to go to the hospital and have an ultrasound done. I drove home and told my husband and we could not believe this. I was numb and we needed to get to the hospital. I laid on the bed in the hospital and for atleast 15 minutes a man tried to find her heartbeat and I felt faint and weak and dizzy and anxious……and then she was gone. I had to carry her for 10 days inside of me. I was huge. I had to walk around pregnant with my baby gone. They hoped I would go into labor on my own. But I didn’t. So 10 days later they induced me and I almost lost my life during delivery. I had her and it was so painful. I held her in my arms. She is buried with her family. We named her Jennie after my Grandmother who passed away in 1972. My grandmother has her. Until I go.

  134. Colleen Says:
    February 5th, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    My heartfelt sympathies go out to all of of the families above. I understand your pain. Nothing seems logical or right. I lost my baby boy after 37 minutes of bliss. No one know what to say or makes peny references to ‘what was meant to be’. It’s infurating! This was NOT meant to be. It has been 5 years. The emptiness is still there. My sister in law just gave birth to a baby with a cleft palate and I am so angry that she is upset she didn’t terminate her pregnany. I would be HAPPY to be able to worry about a small surgical procedure that visiting my son’s grave! Has anyone else had this happen in their families? Am I just bitter? I miss my son SO much. I would have died for 5 more monutes with him. It’s not fair.

  135. Lisa Says:
    May 18th, 2012 at 8:32 am

    Thank you for sharing your story and your picture of your beautiful baby girl.
    I have found comfort in reading all your heartbreaking stories. I had a stillborn baby girl at 40 weeks about a month ago. Like many of you I was told at my OB appointment that they could not find a heartbeat, five days before my due date. I was devastated. She was my first baby and she was perfect. I have no answers as to why this happened and that makes it all the more difficult to cope and accept. Having a stillborn is a horrible tragedy. She should be here with me, but she isn’t.

  136. Yee Says:
    June 26th, 2012 at 12:13 am

    Dear Lisa,

    May I know whether you drink a lot of cold water and house work? My baby also found without heartbeat on due day 1 year plus ago. no specific answer too as all lab tests normal..really heartbroken..till now I still feel sad about it.

  137. vic Says:
    August 29th, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    i just lost my baby girl at 40 weeks stillborn last week and it hurts so bad can’t stop thinking about her and all the things that went wrong and have no answers i pray God everyday for strength the pain is too much like you i have pictures of her i got to keep her with me while i was at the hospital that’s the only thing i have memories and the hope that i will see her again in heaven!

  138. casonia logenberry Says:
    January 8th, 2013 at 3:49 am

    IT REALLY HURTS TO LOSE SOME ONE YOU KNOW AND THAT IS THE BABY IN YOUR BODY,In life you never had a chance to hear them cry or speak or breath and it is something you will never get over as long as you live and even when you try again in the future and have more children…it will never replace what you have lost but in life we want to have children and have some one to love and share are life with and we are connecting the blood lines and bringing families together and to have some one who has your eyes and or your laughter is a true and blue blessing and to lose some one you love hurts from the bottom of your heart and soul but later in life, when we get old and go with god, we know we are going to meet are children again in heaven and so there is the hope for the future and yes it breaks every womans heart and soul and mind and spirit!

  139. julie Says:
    August 2nd, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    Reading all your posts, I feel we all will forever be connected. Connected not in the way we wish but in the loss of losing a baby. My heart aches for each and everyone of you. I, too, lost my beautiful baby girl. I was 40 weeks gestation. I felt my Avery move just 3 hours prior to my water breaking. My water broke and I was in the hospital in less that 30 min. To my absolute horror, they could not detect a heartbeat and performed a crash c-section. They were not able to save her. It’s been 6 months and I still feel like it happened yesterday. I prayed for my miracle everyday. She was the daughter I longed for my entire life. I would love to say it gets easier but the pain still seems just as intense as if it happened just yesterday. I still haven’t been able to pack up her beautiful nursery. I pray for each and every one of you. God Bless to you all.

  140. joyce Says:
    January 25th, 2014 at 8:04 am

    I lost my baby 12days ago,I had her through cs. She lived just 4 15hrs then she died. I can stop thinking about her.

  141. Lisa Says:
    February 22nd, 2014 at 10:14 am

    We had a stillborn baby boy 11/24/13 at 38.5 weeks. No reasons were found. He was our third baby. The first two are sweet healthy girls. I think about him a lot and miss him. Also I think about having another one and wonder how it will turn out. The incredible sadness and sleepless nights are still here.

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