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38 weeks and depressed about the 60 lbs of weight gain (Aya)

age: 20
births: expecting my first

well my name is aya, i am currently 20 years old, i will be 21 on august 26, and i am expecting my first child, a boy, on September 1, 2009.

all though at times i am extremely happy that i will be meeting my son soon, i can’t help but to be extremely depressed about the 60 plus pounds i have gained during my pregnancy. sometimes i even hate going t outside, because people are always asking me if i am having twins, or saying that it looks like i was due yesterday, or dont go into labor now on me. it is just very irritating and depressing. i know people do not mean to be hurtful, the comments everyday about my belly are just depressing. i shouldnt be depressed about it, but i cant help it. i have always had a little weight issue, even though people tell me there was nothing wrong with me. pre pregnancy i was in between 127-130lbs, i am 5’2″ and i am african american and japanese.

the stretch marks i have gotten on my sides, stomach and right boob is disgusting looking. i probably will never be able to go to the beach again, or wear things that a normal 21 year old will get to wear. i dont mean to sound vain, but i really wanna enjoy my youth as well without feeling icky about my body. this just goes to show i probably should have appreciated the body that i had before my pregnancy. my boyfriend says that i will get back into shape in no time, but what if i dont. its honestly not the weight that i am worried about, its my HUGE belly, and i know the skin will be saggy. alot of my weight went into my stomach. sometimes i want to cry and cannot look at my pp pictures. anyways, i am really self conscious, but i wanted to share the pics with you because i was wondering if there was anyone out there who understands me, or is going thru the same exact thing.

p.s i haven’t gotten any signs of labor yet either. was wondering what you moms were doing the day you went into labor, and if there was any significant signs that you just knew that that day was gonna be the day.

1rst pic- pre pregnancy
2nd pic- pre pregnancy
3rd pic – 9 months
4rth pic- 9 months

in African American, Asian, Before Pregnancy, Belly, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions

18 comments… add one

  • Ashley Friday, September 18, 2009, 12:32 pm

    I hope you’ve had him by now! Guess they don’t let people go 18 days past their due date though!

    Don’t stress about the weight and stretch marks, I’ve been there! I gained 60lbs too, and got stretch marks on my sides just like you. You can see my “story” under “What Six Months of Breastfeeding Can Do” and “What Six Months of Weight Training Can Do”. Hopefully it will come right off with you too!

  • Ashley Friday, September 18, 2009, 12:36 pm

    Oh yeah, and I thought I’d never wear a bikini in public again either… My stretchmarks were big really deep, and dark! But I look great now and the stretchmarks have faded a lot, enough that I don’t care about them anymore! I even wore a bikini at the Great America water park in Cali, with thousands of people around!

  • Kerry Friday, September 18, 2009, 12:36 pm

    You sound exactly like I did!!! I am 18, and my son is 5 months old now. I gained 60 lbs too, which I was very depressed about, it just seemed like I looked at food and gained weight. Everyone told me I looked past due (near the end I was measuring high 40s) I got stretch marks too and was scared my belly would sag.. It looks a little different now, but for the most part its back to normal.. no sagging! lol so dont just assume it will happen because your belly is big. Stretch marks fade A LOT too! You will hardly be able to see them! I think your belly is gogeous! Give it a few months after you have your son to start looking like you used to again. My husband also told me I would get back into shape right away. I didn’t. So that depressed me, I felt like I disappointed him. Don’t let that happen! You are always more judgemental of yourself then other people are! I lost like 25-30lbs pretty quickly.. but then it stalled, and has just started again… like 3 months later. So don’t give up hope :)
    And I induced my own labor, 2 days before I was due I thought I would give castor oil a try… and it worked!! My water broke 3 hours after I took it and I had my son 4 hours later. But seeing as it’s the 18th I’m sure you’ve already given birth and are enjoying motherhood! :] I hope all is well and you come to cherish yourself.

  • Tricia Friday, September 18, 2009, 4:33 pm

    Aya- just wanted to say that I know what you are going thru. I gained 60 pounds when pregnant with my son (coincidently, I too am 5’2″ and started out at 127 too!). He was born almost 3 years ago, so 3 years ago I was right where you are right now. I thought I was never going to lose it all. I’m happy to tell you tho that it CAN be done. I lost it all and then some and settled at 110 pounds. I’m now, however, 4 months pp with my second (only gained 35 this time! Phew!) so I’m working it off again. You can definitely do it tho. It was hard work, but it was an amazing accomplishment when I was finished. Good luck! And congrats early! Let us know how it all goes and of your progress!

  • shanen Friday, September 18, 2009, 5:04 pm

    I know things seem bad but once the baby comes ur focus will change. as far a labor u will know. a nurse told me u know because if u were standing in the middle of the road and a semi was comin and a contraction hit u wouldn’t move to save ur life. its some major pain but its worth it.

  • paula Friday, September 18, 2009, 9:28 pm

    girl, i FEEL your pain. i’m 39 weeks, 5’3″ and have put on 50? pounds. i’m young too, 23. my belly is gigantic, my thighs are a huge mess, and i have armpit fat (wtf?). i hate it, and it’s depressing. it seems as though there were no way to control the weight gain. i work out, eat well, and every time i step on a scale its gone up a few pounds. and its hard to carry around all this extra weight when you are so short (i was around 135 prepregnancy).
    i have no idea what i will look like after i have this baby. or how my tummy will look. you can try binding it with ace bandages or something like a belly bandit to help the skin, i’m hoping itll help me.
    i’m super freaked out, and i’m usually not a vain person but this has really hurt my psyche. but there is ONE thing i know now, is that to appreciate and respect your body no matter what it looks like. it will be uniquely beautiful because it is yours. take care of yourself, and there will be benefits to be reaped. and that is one thing i didn’t know before i got pregnant.
    p.s. you are adorable and i’d kill for a full bodacious ass like yours :) best of luck in your birth and beyond.

  • katherine Saturday, September 19, 2009, 12:29 am

    You are gorgeous … Both before your pregnancy and now that you are near the end. I know it’s hard watching your body change and worrying about how you are going to look once you have your son in your arms, but you are young and healthy and you will have plenty of time to shed the baby weight if you want. I am due on October 4th and I get the exact same comments that you do. I’ve also gained almost 60 pounds … It’s hard because I used to struggle with an eating disorder and finally thought I was over that … but watching how my body has changed with this pregnancy has made all the old feelings resurface. All I can say is that once I hold my son in my arms I hope that I will realize that it was all worth it. Your stretch marks should fade in time as well :) Good luck to you, try to stay positive. You are bringing a miracle into this world.

  • Erin Saturday, September 19, 2009, 2:47 am

    You aren’t alone…I gained 50+ lbs with my pregnancy and people were constantly saying the exact same things to me. Not just strangers but family members too! I would cry a lot because of their comments. I don’t know why people think it’s ok to say things to a pregnant woman that they would never think of saying to anyone else. It’s not they would say to someone, Oh hey you’re looking pretty fat today! but they have no shame in saying, are you sure you’re not having twins?! I got SO SICK OF IT! I had a “friend” who was always making those comments to me. Finally one day I patted his fat belly and said, So when are YOU due? Boy, he didn’t like that. so try to come up with some snappy comebacks. I had my baby 7 wks ago, he was 9 lb 8 oz! I’ve already lost almost 30 lbs but my body is changed forever.

  • christy Saturday, September 19, 2009, 6:57 am

    what a great bootie you have!!!

  • southern mama Saturday, September 19, 2009, 1:08 pm

    Dont Worry Just Yet!
    I too gained 50lbs with my son and 70lbs with my daughter. I am on here as well under Comfortable in my skin. People would ask me if I was carrying twins, etc. etc. I felt the same way. The first stretch mark I saw I cried and cried. But I dont think I was less active or ate too much more than any other pregnant woman. It was what my body needed to sustain my pregnancies. Please dont worry, you look great!!!

  • Sarah Monday, September 21, 2009, 11:05 pm

    Oh don’t even worry one bit! You haven’t even given birth yet! I think that ALL women feel just terrible toward the end because you can’t fit in anything and you miss normal clothes, etc. Just a tip from mom to mom, breastfeeding helped me drop so much weight so fast! Good luck! :D

  • Courtney Tuesday, November 17, 2009, 11:34 pm

    I gained 67 pounds at age 26, started out tiny, about 110 pounsa and 5’3″… I carried all out front and experienced many of the same exact comments, are you having twins, etc., people asked if I was due in the store starting at 6 months or so! You look beautiful as a pregnant woman and I can say, now that my baby is one, my body looks and feels waaay better than I ever could have imagined. Please love your belly and give yourself time, things really do transform- for me I nursed and that took it off, it toook about a year and the stretch marks which terrified me at first are almost invisible now- my body will never be as it was before but I think as a mother you do have to grieve and let go of your old self and it takes time. Congratulations and give it a year, ok? I wish I didn’t bother worrying early on.

  • Jenna Monday, January 18, 2010, 10:35 am

    I gained 60+ lbs with my first. Pregnant at 19 Birth at 20, so I was young. I started out 110 lbs. I will tell you my son is now 3.5 yrs old. I weigh 175 and am 12 weeks along with baby number two. I obviously never lost the weight. But you know what?! None of that matters. Its just my body type and thats what I was given. I may be chunky, but Im no longer depressed about it. I looked like I was going to fall over and that I was very sick when I was so skinny. Now I don’t look sick, though I wouldn’t mind losing a good 40 some lbs. I never am going to fit into those size 3 pants again. But my hubby loves me, and THATS what matters. Im not so overweight that I can’t do things with my son, so I am fine with who I am. I hope you realize that even if you never lose the weight, you are still beautiful. And believe me, you won’t look like you are due next week. :D BTW. I had my son a week and a half early, and he was 8lbs 2 oz. I also had TWO water bags.

  • Aya Sharon Thursday, December 2, 2010, 3:40 pm

    hey everyone, so its been over a year since ive had my big boy. Man labor was horrible and intense, and i was really hoping for vaginal delivery but Jaylen just didnt wanna come out. after over 30hours of labor, the docs finally decided to give me a c section. It was absolitely NOT easy to lose the baby weight. im actually skinnier than i was in high school but my stomach is stretched out and saggy, mostly on the bottom(the pooch) my son like to play with my stomach, lol. But for some reason, im still not happy, i weigh less, totally lost my ass(which i loved) , i have no more boobs, but my stomach is what bothers me the most. how did you ladies get rid of it? what excercises did you have to do to get rid of the pooch?? And let me end off by saying, i absolutely love being a mom, i feel like i am in an exclusive club. Jaylen was born September 9, 2009 ironically on Labor Day lol.

  • rachel Monday, July 11, 2011, 5:30 pm

    I have gained so much weight and I’m not comfortable with it at all… My mom calls me a fat b* and my husband seems to keep his eyes on the small ones…. I am very depressed about the weight gain because I was so tiny and I have gained about 50 pounds…

  • Anna Monday, July 25, 2011, 4:10 pm

    I am 6 weeks from my due date and have gained 60 pounds. I’m so nervous that I am not going to lose the weight in time to go back to work as a cocktail waitress. I was always known for having a plump butt and big boobs but my stomach was always flat as a board. I’m scared I don’t get that back and if anyone has any tricks that I could do to get my flat stomach back, I will try it after having my baby girl:) BTW is the most important thing in the world to me already, which keeping a roof over her head and having insurance for her is also important so that’s why I have to go back to work so fast. I’m sure if I don’t lose it all I will still have my job and probably lose more once I’m actually working, but I don’t want the owners to think they made a mistake by not filling in my position all this time.. I’m not depressed because I’m just to happy about having my first baby. I’ve waited for so long to have her.. But I am worried about my body..

  • katashjenia Monday, December 3, 2012, 8:17 pm

    I 100% know what ur going through..im 20 years old and im 38 weeks now and im huge i feel discusting ..my stretch marks all over my but and thighs and stomach aswell as my armpits.. i weighed about 120-130 before my pregnancy now i weigh 202 pounds .. makes me trully feel like i wanna kill myself and go back to my old habbits whith cocaine… my fiance says that im beautiful and i look amazing but deep down i dont feel it at all… he gets mad at me sometimes for crying over it i wish he understood exactly how i feel … if anyone can help me out on what i trully should do to help me get these negative thoughts out of my head and what exercises i can do that could help would be great !!! PLEASE SOMEONE HELPP!!

  • Val Tuesday, June 9, 2015, 11:13 pm

    :/ you’re lucky you started out on the small side! I’m 28, weighed 180 pre-pregnancy and I’m 32 weeks pregnant. I currently weigh 230 lbs. A whopping 50lbs of weight gain and I still have 8 weeks to go. When I was young I had an eating disorder that put me at 125lbs (5’6″) and I was very active. I ate once every 3 days. Over the past few years life has hit me hard- death of best friend, the unjust loss of a very good job, distress over an emotionally abusive mother…so my weight has sky rocketed. I have few friends so I am no longer very active. Most of my weight gain has been in my thighs, butt, and hips. Strangely enough, I only have a few little stretch marks on my hips, and a few larger ones on the inside of my left knee due to uneven swelling. At my last appointment my doctor said, I quote,”You’ve gained a hhuugggeee amount of weight.” He didn’t recommend that I lose weight but the implication was in the air. I cried for hours and didn’t get out of bed for 2 weeks after that. Today I went clothes shopping and looked into a tri-fold dressing mirror-and I am disgusted with lower body. Never thought to see myself like this.
    I feel like you: I don’t want to go outside because I’m afraid people will see me! I’m scared to see old friends! People thought I was big before and now I’m positively ponderous. My thighs are equal to 3 normal sized ones. For me, it’s not what people say…it’s what people avoid saying! The look says everything! I’d be happy to hear a weight joke only so I knew people didn’t actually think it was a big deal. I am conscious that my husband’s mother says nothing about me at all, only looks at my belly, never my face, and acts as if my painful pregnancy is nothing compared to hers. Of course she is super tiny, delivered 3 boys (everyone seems disappointed I’m having a girl, except me and my husband), so of course I’m feeling anxious and resentful of my body and as if my efforts mean nothing. I’m due July 28th, leaving me very little time to get back into gear before winter moves in and I’m trapped in the house again. As it is, the house is under renovation and nothing is right- I can barely move around inside and I often what the point of any of it is…
    I feel guilty that my husband has to look at my body, grateful beyond words that he still loves me somehow.
    Nursing the baby should help the weight loss, a strict diet, and exercise. Going back to work at a new job will give my day some structure again.

    I’m also worried about the saggy belly…and hoping I can even lose enough weight to worry about sagging in other areas. Hopefully some serious exfoliation and moisturizing, along with ace bandages, astringents and mud masks will tone my skin back up…

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