34 Weeks Pregnancy
The name you want posted with your entry: Dallas
~Your story or thoughts if you want to include something:
I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first child. I am expecting a little princess. My pregnancy was a total surprise. The baby’s father and I had separated in late March of this year, and I found out I am expecting in April. We decided that it was in everyone’s best interest if we tried to work things out. We started with a clean slate, moved to a new house and got all new furniture. Things were going well. I had the nursery completely set up, clothes washed and unpacked. I was ready for my princess’ arrival.
Two days ago, he served me with an eviction notice. I was forced to leave my home at 3:30 in the morning. Our relationship was perfect by no means, but this was completely out of left field. I am utterly broken and bitter. 8 months pregnant, and no where to go.
I can’t help but feel the pregnancy is the cause. Not the child, but the pregnancy. I feel like the worst mother in the world, because since this happened I have felt completely detached from my baby. Normally, I love feeling her move and wiggle. But every kick, every roll, reminds me of her daddy. Reminds me of the heartbreak. It’s not her fault, and I know that. I love her more than life… But I feel like being pregnant has caused problems. My self esteem has disappeared since gaining weight and stretch marks. And my self esteem disappearing made me very uneasy about the relationship, causing tensions between us.
I love my baby. I want her to be here. I want to regain my love for myself. I want my family back.
I’m quite sure this post didn’t even.make much sense. But it feels good to get it out.
I took these pictures of my belly today…. There’s nothing more I hate about myself than these marks.
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 34 weeks gestation