The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother

« | Home | »

3 Years Later (Anonymous)

May 24, 2011

I’m coming up on my daughter’s third birthday and it was sort of a shock to realize that this was also (obviously) the three-year anniversary of my c-section. I hadn’t planned on a c-section and was pretty upset that I ended up having one. I had figured that my body would be different after pregnancy and childbirth. In fact, I remember looking at this very website before I was even pregnant and being shocked at how some women’s bodies had changed. Yet, but I’m still surprised at how different my body is now even though I *am* one of those women now. I have yet to fully come to accept it. I’ve never had a great figure but I do mourn the loss of what I had. I love my daughter very very much and have no regrets but I don’t like what I see in the mirror and usually avoid even looking. I probably weigh just about the same as I did when I got pregnant, maybe about 5 lbs more but even when I weighed 30 lbs more pre-pregnancy I liked my body better. The weird sagging apron of fat around my mid-section is a source of dismay and embarrassment and even presents problems for clothing options. I don’t fully understand why my body looks like this now. Is it the c-section? According to my doctors there was no complications with the surgery and I healed well. I didn’t have diastasis recti. Is it just age? I don’t know. I’ve started going to the gym again and trying to watch what I eat but I have to admit, I don’t think it’s going to get better seeing as I’ve been 30 lbs heavier and never looked like this. I think it’s just the way I look now and I need to learn to accept it. Three years later.

Your Age: 43 (gave birth at 40)
Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 years

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook

11 Responses to “3 Years Later (Anonymous)”

  1. amber Says:
    May 24th, 2011 at 7:14 am

    beautiful!! i love your picture… to me this is woman, i grew up with a full figured mom who wasnt shy about her body… you are gorgeous!

  2. Dee Says:
    May 24th, 2011 at 9:26 am

    I didn’t have a c-section, but I too wonder why “the apron” happens to so many women who’ve had one. My mother had c-sections for all 3 of her daughters and never got it, but plenty of women do. I think you look great and there’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

  3. Bryana Says:
    May 24th, 2011 at 11:37 am

    I never had a c-section but I do have a kind of “apron”ish look to my stomach. I think it has more to do with the amount of loose skin we end up with rather than if we had a c-section.
    But either way, I think you are beautiful. You have a beautiful body!! Be proud!!

  4. Darla Says:
    May 24th, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    I also have an apron and I never had a c section (3 kids) I always just thought it was an elasticity thing. I know women who had kids and got just as big as I did and their tummies are flat again. I also think some of us stretch out more. I was pretty thin before and got a really huge tummy. I see a lot of women who dont get as big.

  5. Darla Says:
    May 24th, 2011 at 11:35 pm

    Btw I think you look great.

  6. Leslie Says:
    May 28th, 2011 at 3:43 am

    Hey Anonymous, thank you for writing and posting your photograph! You and I have very similar shapes, … well, you are lovlier! I have a friend who is vocal about thinking I am beautiful, and I get reinforcement all the time about my attractiveness … but not from everyone. My friend doesn’t seem to understand that there is a sad, deluded segment of society who perversely feel it is their duty to inform others of their Less-than-ness, by that I mean they weirdly want to make sure you feel worse than they do. I’m glad there are people like my friend who can’t even coceptualize a world where someone feels 15 pounds is worth suffering over. This site exists because it is still acceptable and encouraged to buy into the idea that we need to stay seventeen years old physically. That said, I too am now getting a bit of an apron. I had my son, by ceasarean seven years ago when I was 34. My weight has fluctuated by about 30 pounds since he was born. The first 5 years my belly (either a bit, or a more than a bit) just puffed a bit above my scar. Now, almost 41, the skin is hanging a little more. I hadn’t thought about it before (probably because I feel pretty good about myself), but the “aproning” is new. Like other posters have said, I think this is how our tummies may have looked anyway, the scar just emphasizes it. I was thinking recently about goals that I want to work towards to enhance my joy and contentment. One of them: I want to sit on my husband’s lap on our favorite beach in a bikini. It is a silly, frivolous fantasy, but it makes me smile! It is one of those odd realities in life, but my husband (and his rhetoric) are exactly like one of the above responders, Sharon. Since I’ve lived with a kind, well-meaning, wildly misguided person for 20 years I can see the sadness and folly of trying, and trying, and trying for some ridiculous physical goal. I may never get to sit on my husband’s lap in a bikini, but I know, that I know, that I know you are beautiful, and that my little apron skin is a-ok. :)

  7. rebecca Says:
    May 28th, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    dear 3 years…you are really beautiful – I wish I looked more like you! my “apron” bothers me so much too – don’t be so hard on yourself…you really have a gorgeous shape..and are so firm and toned!

  8. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    May 29th, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    To all: I made a massive mistake by allowing a certain comment through moderation. In my haste in moderating all the comments these sits get on a daily basis, I missed this one and I am dreadfully sorry. I’ve deleted it now and nearly all references to it. And I will be more diligent in the future to not skim, but to read more thoroughly.

  9. gail Says:
    May 29th, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    Thank you Bonnie! ( from the bottom of my heart!) And to the author of 3 years Later…I think you are absolutely beautiful! We are the same age and I wish my skin ( and breasts!!) were as lovely as yours. You look so healthy and strong! I hope you can look in the mirror and see what I see…from one 43 year old mom to another…you really look fantastic!

  10. L Says:
    June 4th, 2011 at 9:34 am

    Hi, it would be nice if you added more photos… For what we can see from this pic, you didn’t get stretch marks at all, and your boobs don’t look like they breastfed… I’m asking for photos because I prob will look like you after children. I’m 33. PS: Did you wear one of those ‘beige corset’some women wear after having baby,to make the skin go back to place?
    Take care,
    L

  11. connie Says:
    June 15th, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    You look good, girl! I am 28, and will never post pics of my c-section! You have amazing skin tone – and blemish free!

    An easy exercise I find helps is plank pose from Yoga – its essentially a push up, but never pushing up or down, lol.

    My belly isnt flat, but it makes me feel better at least!

Comments


Support This Site