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22 with twins (Anonymous)

November 3, 2008

I was 21 years old when I found out that my boyfriend at the time and I would be expecting our first child. We then found out that it was twins!! natural twins! I of course wasn’t prepared at all to be a mother OR a wife and before I knew it, it happened so fast. During my pregnancy I was on bed rest from 27wks-32wks when I delivered. I found this site and it helped me more than you know. I started getting stretch marks that got worse and worse by the week and everytime I looked in the mirror I cried. Since I was only 117lbs when I got pregnant my body had to stretch SOO much to fit my little babies in there. The first two months after my twins were born were probably the worst. I’m tearing up right now just thinking about it! I felt soo incredibly blessed to have such beautiful, healthy babies but deep down hated myself with a passion. There were days that I didn’t want to live, which is very unlike the old me. I think every day gets easier now. I think I accept me now. It’s hard to tell from the pictures that I actually use to model! lol.. I was reading another girls post on this website and she said, “I have the rest of my life to worry about my body but my kids are only little once”!! I repeat that to myself every day so thank you for whoever that was. I’ve also seen where a lot of women have said how their husbands or boyf.s tell them how beautiful they are, no matter what and even find them just as sexy. I wish I could say the same, b/c my husband doesn’t even look at me anymore. I could go on and on about my body but the main thing is, my babies make me happier than my stomache ever did! I’m so blessed to have them.




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16 Responses to “22 with twins (Anonymous)”

  1. Kaija Says:
    November 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    I know how you feel. I felt the same way after my first son. It took me 5 years to finally accept my body. Then, my husband and I chose to have another baby. Im only 7 weeks pp right now and not really loving the way I look, but I know that time will make it better. You will be amazed how much time can do for your body. Your stretch marks will fade dramatically. I admire your positive attitude. You said your husband wont look at you anymore? He doesnt know what he is missing! Your story is amazing and I LOVE the picture of you with the twins! They are SO precious! I know everything will turn out great for you. Best wishes.

  2. MKCC Says:
    November 3rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    I felt the same way after I gave birth to my first daughter in Novemeber of ’06. Despite the fact that I lost all the pregnancy weight plus some, and I had only 2 tiny little stretch marks on my self.. i still hated the way I looked. This is my previous entry: http://theshapeofamother.com/blog/baby-love-body-love-mariel/
    For some reason you look so familiar to me,,?
    Your babies are beautiful! and so are you!\
    Don’t forget that.

  3. Gina Says:
    November 3rd, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Hold on, Sista! I had twins 7 yrs ago -and I still have the twin skin. I also had bedrest from week 23 on -for mild twin to twin transfusion. It was a pretty black time in my little world- but it does pass.
    How old are your babies? Give yourself time- lots of time! Your pretty much bottom of the totem pole. Hate to beat up on your hubby- maybe he is scared of getting MORE babies on the way. Maybe he is exhausted – hope he is doing his 100% too. Everything is blown out of scale when your tired- so remind yourselves your in this together. Hope you get a chance to put your feet up at least twice a day! ~Even if it is when your sitting to go pee!~ Your not alone! : )

  4. Meredith Says:
    November 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    I rarely comment on this site but your anguish motivated me to do so. You and your babies are absolutely beautiful. I don’t mean that in sweeping general way, you really are. I know that it’s easy to become frazzled by the appearance of your belly, but I think you’ll be amazed by how your body can repair itself and how your mind will come to accept the changes. Cut yourself and your husband some slack. You’re both going through tremendous changes right now that are hard to process through the fog of exhaustion. Men will never understand what we go through giving birth and I think are a little awed and scared by the process. So don’t beat yourself up thinking it has to do with how you look. He may be afraid to approach you as you are very occupied these days. And for goodness sake, don’t read those celebrity, “how I got my body back in two weeks” articles. I always laugh at these because no real mother has eight hours a day to devote to working out, a personal chef, and a nanny at your beck and call to pawn off the kids for uninterrupted beauty sleep. But like I was saying, you and your babies are gorgeous and everything is going to be okay. If it makes you feel any better, I’m sitting here typing this while nursing my 6 month old. I have similar coloring as you and my linea nigra is about halfway faded. Any day now…….

  5. Mama Says:
    November 4th, 2008 at 12:22 am

    I bet that things will look completely different in no time flat. You look fantastic and oh my gosh, two beautiful babies! What a blessing!!!!!!

  6. Kristen Says:
    November 4th, 2008 at 7:38 am

    wow your newborn baby pics are gorgeous, I cant beleive how beautiful you look, mine are just flat our embarrassing! lol
    Im about 15-20 lbs heavier now, and it is a change,but Im excepting my WOMAN body now, back then I was just a girl.
    and y’know back then I bet you still saw flaws in yourself, and now after having a baby and looking back your probably like “wow, I looked so good!” so wait until your an old lady, and again, you’ll be saying ” wow, my skin was so youthful, wow, I looked beautiful” think of it that way!

  7. Sarah Says:
    November 5th, 2008 at 10:36 am

    wow you are gorgeous! You should have seen my tummy after just one and now it looks fine. I used to model so I understand where you are coming from, it gets easier

  8. Shannon Says:
    November 7th, 2008 at 12:33 am

    You look beautiful!! I have 3 and a half month old twin boys (very much a surprise!) and I think you look amazing! Would love to look like you in fact xx our bodies have been through SO MUCH HUH! All the very best to you….x

  9. kasondra Says:
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    I AM CURRENTLY PREGNANT WITH TEINS AS WELL…..26 WEEKS AND ALREADY ON BED REST DUE TO PRE-ECLAMPSIA…..MY BODY IS STILL REALLY STRETCHED OUT FROM MY FIRST SON SO MY STRETCHMARKS HAVENT REALLY GOTTEN ANY WORSE WHICH IS GOOD……BUT I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE 2 ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS BABIES……AND YOUR BODY IS PROOF OF THAT….AND THOUGH IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE IT…IT IS A BLESSING TO HAVE THE MARKS BECAUSE OF THE BLESSING YOU HAVE THAT CAUSED THEM….AND YOU TRULY ARE BEAUTIFUL….DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY!!

  10. Makayla Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    You are beautiful. Your body will change hun I promise. It looks like the pic was just taking in Aug. so im guessing your twins aren’t that old. You are so lucky to have two beautiful healthy babies. You’re body did something amazing. You say your husband doesn’t even look at you. Maybe he knows how you feel about yourself and doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or if it hasn’t been too long since you had your c-section maybe he is afraid he might hurt you. I would try discussing it with him. Bc I highly doubt he doesn’t find you attractive anymore. You are a beautiful woman with adorable lil babies.

  11. Heather Says:
    November 12th, 2008 at 8:45 am

    wow I’ve never seen anyone look so pretty after just delivering; you have an absolutely gorgeous smile

  12. Ashley Says:
    November 16th, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    It was very refreshing reading your blog. I also was 21 when I found out I was pregnant. We werent married either and things had been rocky for a litle while. My first appointment with the docs went great. I was told to come back two weeks later for my first ultrasound. I went in and WOW! Twins! I cried for what seemed like days! But now, I am blessed with two beautiful 15 month identical boys! I was 115 when I got pregnant…and now, I am 185. Ive tried everything and the weight just wont budge! I am glad to know that Im not alone!

  13. Kim Editor at Raising Twins Says:
    March 8th, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    That is an incredibly beautiful photograph of you and your babies.
    The stretch marks will fade. The linea negra will fade. The human body is amazing and will do it’s best to get back to it’s pre-baby shape. Twin skin is a reality for many, but mine has improved drastically over the last few years ( my twins are 3) so hang in there. Enjoy being a twin mom and just take care.

  14. Jenny Says:
    May 29th, 2009 at 8:14 am

    You are a beautiful woman inside and out :) I had an emergency c-section in Sept. 08 and had many of the same feelings you mentioned! I felt it was hard dealing with post-partum depression and seeing my body scarred and chubby! I spent the first 2 months crying about EVERYTHING..lol The only thing that got me through it was looking at my beautiful little boy :) He is a blessing! I just kept telling myself that time heals. I am now 8 mo. PP and starting to finally feel comfortable in my own skin. Hang in there. You look beautiful and have 2 precious babies that think the world of you!

  15. Deb Says:
    July 12th, 2009 at 7:27 am

    Thank you so much for your inspirational words. I’m never going to forget them!

  16. Alex Says:
    March 17th, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Wow, your belly looks just like mine after i gave birth to my twin, I have a long thin torso just like you and my twins stretched it out so much my belly button still sticks out and has not gone back in after 2 years. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone anymore… b/c most days I feel all alone and that no one knows what I am going through.

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