2 pregnancies, 2 C- sections
14 month old daughter
17 day old son
I had my first child, a girl on 10- 17- 2008. It was a long labor, and after pushing for 2 hours and high blood pressure, with a fever of 103 they took me into the OR for an emergency C section. Where I lost more then half my bodies volumn in blood. My Dr said I was lucky, and she had no idea why that happened. After I noticed what that C section did to my body. And it hurt to look in the mirror.. but I also gained 50 lbs with that pregnancy. Stretch marks everywhere, and now an ugly scar, and saggy belly pouch. 160 lbs, I would give anything to be 115 lbs again, well thats how I felt then.
Over the next couple months I came to terms with my new body, and I was fine walking around my house shirtless. (I was breastfeeding)
But getting pregnant just 4 months post partum really killed me. I didnt lose much weight. And I came into the next pregnancy at 157 lbs. I gaiend 20 lbs with my son, born 11-29-09.
Now at 17 days post partum, I notice my belly pouch is a little bigger then it once was. I have no new stretch marks, but still have the old. I really hate my body. It makes me a little sad. But Im ok with it. I have two beautiful children who I would gladly give anything for, even my once beautiful body. But I have lost all of the weight I gained with my son. I still ahve over 40 lbs to lose, and Im kind of terrified I will never see myself as beautiful again.