The Shape of a Mother

Me, too... (Anonymous)

2008-07-08T16:40:25Z

Hello everyone, I am 26 years old with a 4 month old daughter and a 24 month old son. I became pregnant with my son at age 23. At that time I had a nice tight stomach and weighed 125 lbs. None of the women in my family (on either side!) had gotten any stretch marks with their pregnancies, so I wasn’t really worried about developing any myself. Everyone told me “you’re young, your body will bounce right back!” Ha-ha. I gained 65 lbs and developed stretch marks on my legs, hips, stomach, and breasts. I was very unhappy with my body after I gave birth to my son, especially with the stretch marks. I lost 55 of the 65 lbs, but I still looked much different than before I got pregnant. I gained 35 lbs with my last pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful little girl. This time instead of focusing on getting skinny and looking perfect, I am focusing on being strong and healthy, exercise rather than weight-loss. Even though I would still consider myself to be far from perfect looking (hello ginormous areolas!!) I am proud that my body created two beautiful angels. I also think a lot about some of the stories I have read on this website from women who have lost their children or who have sick children. I know that there are many women out there who would gladly exchange a few stretch marks, some saggy skin, and a few extra pounds, for a healthy child. Remembering this fact helps me let go of what I don’t like about my body and just be thankful for what I have. And all of you beautiful ladies that have posted on this website give me so much strength – thank you all!!

Body Image and Fear of Second Pregnancy (Anonymous)

2008-07-08T16:24:49Z

I am so amazed and impressed by the women on this site. I think I am at a healthy weight for an American woman, 130 as of this morning, but that hasn't always been the case. When I graduated grad school, I was fat. Most of the women in my family are obese, and many are morbidly obese. My mother was an obsessive dieter, and destroyed her thyroid to the point where she will be on meds for the rest of her life. My aunts died in their early forties from obesity-related illnesses. My younger sister had gastric by-pass last year, at the suggestion of her doctor, who expressed worry that she may also die young. Keeping trim has been a lifelong struggle for me, including starving myself, taking diet pills, over-exercising, binging and purging. I'm not sure I have it completely under control, which is something my husband doesn't know, and I fear him discovering. I've lived with a bad body image my entire life, I have hated watching my family die from obesity-related illnesses, and I fear the same fate. I was 33 when my daughter was born, and married for 13 years. We waited because I was afraid of being pregnant, and my husband was very patient. I'm turning 36 soon, and my husband has been begging for a second child, and he is losing patience with me. He tries to be understanding, but we always said we'd have a big family. I gained 37 pounds during the pregnancy, lost almost 20 of that in the first week post-partum, and only lost maybe 2 pounds over the next two years. I breastfed her for almost 16 months, yet I didn't shed the weight. I tried to lose weight, ate healthy foods and exercised, but didn't take pills or starve myself. Right before her second birthday, I finally started to shed the weight, but it is mostly because I really don't eat much anymore and I walk hours everyday. Today, I weigh in at exactly what I weighed when I got pregnant, but I look nothing like I used to. I have cellulite everywhere - on my legs and bottom most of all, but also on my arms and back. Losing the weight was such a battle, and I fear going through that struggle again, and I fear getting even more cellulite. As I get older, I know that it's now or never if I want more children, and I am ready to go for it again. I have a little red-haired, blue-eyed girl who is beyond beautiful. She's two and a half now, and I love being her mommy. I really want to give her a brother or sister, but I am afraid. I can't seem to shake the fear of being pregnant again. I fear what it will do to my body. Even though I have already been through it, and can hide the cellulite I now have under clothing, I worry that I will get more of it, or that my weight will balloon. I don't like to starve myself, but it seems to be the only thing that works to keep the weight off. I took these pictures an hour ago. The cellulite doesn't come through that well - I am not a great photographer - but it is everywhere.

Modeling (Anonymous)

2008-07-07T22:35:10Z

I used to work as a model, sometimes nude. I was happy to see the way my body came back after pregnancy. The only change was how my nipples are now very very dark, but many men like that!

Happy Anniversary!

2008-07-06T04:24:51Z

weeksevenblueedit
Originally uploaded by Graham Bauer.

Two years ago today I got The Shape of a Mother up and running. Since then we have had over 600 submissions (possibly over 700), have been mentioned in blogs, newspapers, radio shows, magazines and more. I am honored to have such a part in society, to have helped bring so many women together to support each other. We have truly begun to change the way society sees mothers and it will only get better from here. We, like the woman in this photo, have stuck our hands stubbornly on our hips, thrown on our bikinis (I realize she is not wearing a bikini, bear with me here, m'kay?) and told the world we ARE beautiful exactly the way we are, thankyouverymuch.

So thanks to each and every one of you - to you who have bravely posted your photos, to you who have read them and healed your heart a little, and to you who have passed the link along to friends or family or blog readers. Every single one of you is an integral part of this site. Thank you.

Here's to another year (or two! or more!) of changing the world!

First Pregnancy Before and After (Anonymous)

2008-07-03T19:12:46Z

I am so happy I found this site, I felt very shy about showing my stomach since I have had my son. He is 21 months now. I gained about 55 pounds during the pregnancy which was very difficult for me to go from being 105lbs to having all the extra weight to carry around. I have tried to work out and eat healthy and I am now down to 127lbs. I would love to be able to tighten my abs back up but it is taking some time. I am very lucky not to have gotten any stretch marks on my stomach although I do have some on the backs of my legs and on my butt. I just try to think about the love i have for my son and the love and joy he brings me every day and I feel better :)

Me!! (Anonymous)

2008-07-03T19:11:19Z

i am a young mom at 20. everyone around here always gives me dirty looks and everything because of it. when i was pregnant the doctors said he was only going to weigh like 5 pounds because i only gained 27 pounds while i was pregnant. the day i had him everyone was shocked because he weighed 8 pounds and 3 ounces and was 21 and 1/2 inches long. he was huge. i am proud of my body now even though it has changed a little bit.

First and Possibly Only Child (Anonymous)

2008-07-02T16:43:13Z

This is my story: When I found out last year I was pregnant I was petrified! I had no clue what I was going to do and to top it all off the father whom I had been seeing for almost a year decided he wanted nothing to do with our child and wanted me to have an abortion. Luckily I have the most wonderfull family in the world. I made the decision to go thru with this without him but with the support of my entire family. Most of the pregnancy went fine. A few bumps in the road but everything was great. I didn't really enjoy being pregnant physically. I loved knowing what was growing inside me but hated the physical pain that was comming with it. Unfortunatly I wasn't one of the lucky ones who was saved from stretch marks. They in my opinion were horrible!! Two days before my due date they decided to induce my labor. I had been having pain in my stomach and hadn't been able to keep much food down. They couldn't seem to find the problem so they decided they wanted to get him out. They started inducing me at 8 am on a thursday morning. All day long i was slowly progressing but with terrible pains and bleeding too. They told me this was normal. That night, they insisted I take some sleeping medication to get some rest for the next day. So I did and actually had a couple of doses during the night. The next morning at about 6 am they woke me up to check my progression. They told me I was a little more than 6 centimeters and I could have an epideral. So around 6:20 the guy came in the give me the epideral. That wasn't nearly as bad as I had feared. I turned to lay back down and in doing so my water broke. Good news! Well bad news it was full of blood. They didn't seem to concerned about this. While laying in the bed I was feeling pretty good. Feeling no pain at all. Then all of a sudden the entire hospital was in my room. Everyone was yelling at me to breath. They had put an oxygen mask over my face because I had stopped breathing. My son had "fallen off the monitor" and they couldn't get him back. Before I knew It they were rushing me down the hall into another room. I had no idea what was happening. The last thing I remember is someone pinching me and asking If I could feel it. I told them yes and they they yelled "Put her out". A few hours later I woke up and my family was standing around me looking like they just finished crying. I asked my mom what happened and was he ok? She said yes and I had to have a "crash c-section". She said that my placenta had seperated and my sons heart had stopped beating and I had stopped breathing and was bleeding to death. I still wasn't really understanding what had happened because of all the drugs in my system. Just to give you an idea how fast everything happened.. I had the epideral at 6:20 am and at 6:52 am my son was born. Finally at 11:30 am I was able to see and hold him for the first time. I love my son with everything in me but I can't help feeling like I was cheated. I wanted to have him naturally and be able to hold him when he first came out. Instead all i'm left with is a horrible scar (vertical incision) and nasty stretch marks. I feel terrible for saying that. I just really hate the way I look now. But, I am thankfull to God that my son is alive and doing wonderfull. He didn't even have to go to NICU. He stayed with me the entire time. I am so amazed with him every day. I know that I will eventually be ok with my body, but there's part of me that wonders who would ever want someone with a child and a stomach that looks like mine. Well its been 3 months now. My son is amazing!! I never knew I could love someone so much. I absolutley love being a mom.

Mother of a 15 Month Old (Anonymous)

2008-07-02T16:39:41Z

I am 22 years old and have always had a great body and been small built (5'3 and 105lbs)before becoming pregnant with my son. Although I lost the weight - I am at 109lbs today I guess my body was just too small to gain 63 pounds. That or I shouldn't have ate quite so many chocolate chip cookies. haha Anyways - now I suffer from feeling sad about my post baby body everytime I am around my hot 22 year old friends and their bikinis!!! Sickning.

My Story (Anonymous)

2008-07-01T15:28:52Z

I'm a 25 year old mother of 2 boys a 3 month old and a 9 year old. Although I love my boys dearly I battle daily with my self image. I know I should be proud of what my body has done, it has nourished and delivered 2 beautiful babies but often what I see is a reflection of a body that should not belong to me. Its disfigured and not that a vibrant, young 25 year old and it has brought me to tears so many times. I find it hard to accept compliments because I know if people saw what I try so hard to keep covered they would think differently. But stumbling across this web site has really helped me realize that I am not alone and being a woman/mother is beautiful, sexy and empowering! I'm not saying that I've come to terms with my body but I think I am making small steps at accepting motherhood in its entirety! So thanks all of you who have shared your wonderful stories and beautiful pictures and to the creator of this website!

8 Months PP (Anonymous)

2008-07-01T15:22:28Z

I started out my pregnancy at close to 100 pounds. During the 9 months of pregnancy I went from 100 to about 163. Trying to lose it has been hell, but I am finally starting to accept my "mothers body". I don't ever want to be 100 pounds again now. I am about 7 pounds from hitting my goal weight of 120 :D

Pregnant Bliss (Anonymous)

2008-06-30T16:46:09Z

I just gave birth to my first child a few weeks ago. She ended up being a c-section after over 24 hours of natural (NO PAIN MEDICINE) labor. I rubbed vitamin e oil on my tummy every single night before I went to bed and after each shower. I thankfully ended up without any stretch marks but I have a lovely scar and some extra baggage in the belly. I am looking forward to getting back in shape and having another one! Motherhood is wonderful!

(Emanuela)

2008-06-30T16:43:13Z

As you can see, even after 7 years after delivery I was never able to get rid of the baby fat (can I still call it baby fat?). Although I have minimal strechmarks, my abdominals are completely relaxed (they asked me when am I due for quite a while after delivery) and my breasts are huge and absolutely sagging. I see my body like that of a grandma (no pun intended) just now I'm no quite forty yet. Bottom line, I find myself disgusting and repellent. There's so much work to do on "real" women's image ...

Almost a year on, things are much better! (Anonymous)

2008-06-29T16:28:31Z

My previous entry was "I almost want to cry (Anonymous)" and now I am very happy with my body image! Although I would love to be the size 12 (Australian sizing) that I was before kids! so I have a way to go yet. I now see a dietitian and she helps educate me with my food intake and how much I should exercise according to my body mass etc - totally recommend this option! its no fad diet or anything, and I feel great being able to have some time to myself to talk to someone about my emotional eating as well! Because, in all honesty I can't just blame the 2 pregnancies or months of breastfeeding alone that turned my body inside-out its all the emotional eating! hormones?! This is a fantastic site, I thank you for this ! It boosts my self-confidence every time I look at it. My kids are happy and healthy and thats what is the most important thing to me above all else! xx

Body Re-Designed by Twins (Anonymous)

2008-06-26T17:07:03Z

At 26 I found out I was expecting twins. It being my first pregnancy I ate whatever was in sight, using the age old "I'm eating for three." At my 4 month ultrasound, it was discovered one of my babies had died. Her heart had stopped beating. I was devastated. Happy I was left with one baby but mourning the loss of the other. Luckily I was able to carry the other baby to term, and delivered a very healthy 7 lb baby girl. I gained a total of 40 lbs with that pregnancy. It took me 6 months to lose the baby weight, and another 3 months to actually tone that flabby belly up. Now, two years later, I became pregnant again this past fall with much to my surprise TWINS again. I vowed this time to eat healthy and not gain more than the recommended weight. I started off at 119 lbs, the day I gave birth I weighed 176 lbs. My daughters were delivered premature (34 weeks), baby A 4 lb 12 oz baby b 5 lb 2 oz. A very good weight given their gestational age. They did super, and only stayed 3 days more than me in the NICU. I gave birth 10 days ago. At my doctor follow up I had already lost 27 lbs. JUST GIVING BIRTH!!! I realize my body may never be the same. I probably will never have a flat stomach again. But all three of my little monsters were worth it. They have brought me more joy than being a size 2 ever did.

18 Months Post-Baby (Anonymous)

2008-06-24T17:50:06Z

I would like to say that after childbirth,and after losing the 60lbs i put on during my pregnancy i am more comfortable with my body than i was before. i think that everything is relative, and my few and subtle stetch marks were very upsetting to me after my daughter was born. Since then i have slowly become happier with my post-baby body. I have a wonderful husband makes me feel beautiful for who i am, and the body i have. Without a doubt my daughter was worth all of it. 20 hours of labor, with a bunk epidural. I would do it agian in a heartbeat. This website is an invaluable tool for women, no matter how you look after childbirth.